Thursday, November 1, 2012

Fried Eggs

Now there is one thing I can surely say has never been the same as when I was in the Osage.  In fact I had to teach my wife how to do it, fry eggs.  I never knew it until I was out of high school that folks just don't know about frying eggs and how good it can be.

First off it has to be early in the morning when there is still a little crispness in the air when you walk outside to get them just right.  What I mean is you have to walk out to the chicken house and gather the eggs.  Not those flimsy white eggs that are so small you have to use two in order to get one egg.  Those are what we call city eggs.  Now these eggs can be so fresh they are still warm in the nest from when the hen left it there for you.  By the way those hens don't really just let you get them either.  I have been pecked at so many times it just does not bother me.  Two side notes to this, one is that 'yes' this is the same chicken house where Eddy Harris and I use to gather and then have contest to throw them.  The second side story is once I was chewing gum and dropped it in the chicken house and when I reached down and picked it up and put it back in my mouth it was not the same Juicy Fruit I had lost.  Think about it.  Anyway after gathering the eggs I would scurry back to the house and mom had already fried some bacon (home grown of course).  Man, the smell was incredible and I should note it was not this wimpy bacon so thin you aren't sure it is even bacon.  I won't mention IHOP and Denny's but I will say that Jimmy's Egg is trying to get it right.  OK back to those eggs.

Mom could crack those eggs on the side of the skillet, dump the egg in the hot grease and keep right on adding eggs all with one hand.  I should also add right here that the space program just about ruined breakfast.  Can you guess how?  If you came from where I did you would know that TEFLON came from the space program and replaced the IRON SKILLET which is the only device suitable for cooking eggs correctly.  In fact all this stainless steel which is required by law in restaurants has been bad for cooking.  I guess I should "get over it".  Well here comes the secret to frying eggs.  When you put them in that little bit of hot bacon grease you don't bust the yolk right away.  The whites start getting that crispy edge to it then you take the flipper and poke the yolk just after adding a lot of pepper and salt.  Then you slowly mix it up and you get scrambled eggs the RIGHT WAY.  Dadgum that is good cookin!  No wonder there was many a time that Jim Olsen or Gordon Harris would drop by for breakfast.  Mom was a great hostess.

I know you are all going to say that that stuff will kill you but let me give you a scientific analysis of this cooking and good health.  My dad ate the same thing everyday for 87 years plus had meat at every meal, real butter, real bread, a wife that cooks like no other, the best fried chicken and chicken fried steak and the list goes on and on and to top it off the best pies, cobblers and cakes you can imagine.  Mom is 84 years old and still kicking and walking four miles a day.  My wife's grandad from Kiowa, Oklahoma ate the same way and he lived to 103, Bill Sorter was his name.  And I can name a whole lot more.

You can write all the articles and have the government fund all the studies you want but here is the solution to good health and I just gave you more scientific evidence to back up what my conclusions are.

Recipe for good health and good living:

  • work hard every day, get off your a__ and get to work, do something
  • if you are over weight, go back to work, physical work 
  • marry a great wife, like I did
  • have great kids
  • go to church
As a wise friend of mine, Harry Birdwell, related his doctors advice to me who said, "have you ever seen a person overweight beyond 70 years old?". That sure made me think about getting off my a__.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

  • Fry your dadgum eggs in bacon grease
Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com


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