It's Friday and Sunday is Coming -- warning PG 13 or worse

I once heard a song titled "It's Friday and Sunday is Coming" and I thought it was one of the best ever.  I got to thinking, if the disciples knew what was going to happen Sunday and believed it, would things have been different?  We will never know but one thing is certain, He died on Friday and He arose on Sunday. 

Why is it so easy to believe George Washington crossed the Delaware or Ronald Reagan was an actor turned President of the United States but so many don't believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ when there are thousands of non-Christian documents about the life of Christ and in fact more writings about Christ than any other person in history? 

Well, I was one of those who was not sure either until during college a guy named Norman Voss who made me mad because he said I had to belong to the Church of Christ to be a Christian.  And there was another person, Paula Neal, who frustrated me to death because she thought I was not a believer.  Well, God works in mysterious ways.  I got mad enough that I decided I needed to know weather I believed in God because my parents were Methodist or if there was enough evidence supporting the life of Christ. 

What I found out was that I believed in God and always did but so did the devil and so did a lot of very bad folks and even more very good folks.  So, I found out that believing is not enough.  I also found out there were volumes of books about the life of Christ and most of the old ones were written by Jews who did not believe He was God on earth.  I also found out there is dramatic archaeological evidence supporting all of the bible. 

I also found smart folks have a tendency to believe more in themselves than in Christ but I heard a story the other day just for those folks.  I have to warn you it is off color by city standards but by farm standards it is just common language so don't get your underwear in a wad.  If you continue reading this, you were warned. 

So here goes:   There was this little girl riding on an airplane next to a sophisticated business man.  The little girl asked him if he believed in God and he responded, "no, I think it is silly".  He also told her that you cannot see God and therefore He does not exist.  So the little girl asked him:

If a cow shits and creates patties and horse shits and it creates these large round balls, and a rabbit shits and makes small little pellets can you explain why?  He laughed and said no.  Then she remarked, "why do you think God doesn't exist if you don't know shit?"

I wonder if any preacher has the guts to use that in a sermon. 

Well, I guess you figured it out, I became a believer, the hard way and even though I am not perfect I am forgiven because I transferred my faith from that which is easy to Jesus Christ.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• there is a lot of bullshit going around about what God is not
• Jesus died so that all my s___ don't matter
• Jesus loves me in spite of all my faults as long as I transfer my faith to Him and not myself

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Retirement ain't what it use to be -

Well as many of you know I have chosen to retire from being a financial advisor and now am attempting to figure out what I want to do.  In the old days (love that saying) as farmers and ranchers we just kept doing what we were doing until we could do no more and then we did some more.  What that says is that farmers and ranchers never retire.

I remember my dad when he would get up from the chair or taking a nap he would appear to be in pain.  His response was always, "just wear and tare" then he would take about two steps then he was back to full speed just like "the good old days".  He never complained and he never talked bad about folks and he always worked harder and faster than anyone.  In fact I remember when he was in his 60's, much less than when he was in his late 80's (that is a figure of speech just in case you can't figure it out), Larry and my brother in law and myself went to work with dad and my brother in law was worried that dad would not be able to keep up.  Larry and I knew better.  After about four hours the brother in law was what I call "down in the mouth" and complaining about needing a break and dad was just laughing and kept right on going.  In fact the brother in law quit working because he was tired long before the rest of us quit for the day.  That day he learned that dad could out work anyone, anywhere and anytime.  To this day it is still funny as I look back.  There are only two people that I think come close to being like dad and that is my two nephews, Cliff Crow of Kingfisher and Richard Crow of Perry and I guess I could throw in my brother Larry.  They are all workaholics, not me, although a lot of folks claim I don't know when to quit.  Oh ya, my sister Debbie, she is a workaholic as well.  She does not know when to quit and is about the most servant orientated person you will ever find.  Guess you could say, "the nut does not fall far from the tree".

back to retirement:  Yep, I am retired but I have not quit.  I am gardening more, reading more, doing financial coaching and some seminars here and there, involved in a few more mission orientated projects like working with folks just getting out of prison, managing some real estate we have owned for a long time, and on a few boards of non-profits and then one private company we own that does trucking.  Yes, I did say trucking just to annoy a few folks like Jim Wicker (president and partner in JW Logistics).  You see we are not a trucking company but a logistics company which really means we handle trucking.  Yep, retirement is not slowing down but trading my time for something else and preferably what I choose.   If I were more spiritual, I would say doing more of what He chooses.

Maybe, if I think about it long enough, retirement has not changed much.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• you can take the boy out of the farm but you cannot take the farm out of the boy
• if I can get up out of bed or off the couch and keep moving then I must still be living the dream
• if God meant for me to sit on my butt in retirement I think He would have had a chapter in the Bible telling me how to waste my time and not invest in other folks.  In fact I think He says in His word something about standing before God and Him saying, "well done my good and faithful servant".  Ya, that is what I want, how about you?

Well, thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

if you want my book and you like adults with special needs, like Preston who has down syndrome then consider purchasing my book on Amazon, "Home On the Range by Gary Olson".  All profits go to Wings, a community for adults with special needs.  If you want a signed copy, send $25 or more (check made out to Wings), to 12501 Dutch Forest Place, Edmond, OK 73013 and I will send you a signed copy and I will pay for the book and shipping.  Wings will get the entire donation and you will get a tax deduction.  What do you think of those apples?  (metaphor)

2018 06 25 Dominican Republic 1

2018 06 25 Dominican Republic (published the first time 2020 01 15)

Here I sit on the top of a mountain in a beautiful house enjoying the fruits of a life given to me by my creator, my parents and of course growing up in the Osage. I cannot help but be amazed at the creation by God’s hands. The flowers and the trees and of course the climate in the DR are fantastic but how can anyone believe a BIG BANG created this? Just take some common-sense logic, like if it were a big bang, which is taking something that exists and exploding it into a chaos vs. a finely developed order of creation. I don’t know precisely how everything was made and absolutely no one on earth today or in the past knows. They can only guess and look at evidence but remember, that things like carbon dating is a science and absolutely no one knows for sure if it is accurate. In fact, I heard a PHD from one of the major colleges in California say that there is evidence that carbon dating is potentially off by thousands of percent. For those who remember Aunt Gladys (Gladys Snyder-science teacher extraordinaire) she was a firm believer in evolution and she was a joy to talk to and study with. I cannot explain the difference in Biblical teaching and science but no one else can, not even the smartest person out there.

The folks here in the DR are extraordinarily friendly and hospitable. They seem to desire to serve you and they enjoy life even though they do not have the luxuries we have in the states. Their families are much closer and in many respects like the "good old days" in the Osage. The evenings are spent eating together and talking while just sitting in a circle which includes all the family. That means kids as well.

I do remember the Shumate’s, the Snyder’s and the Kelsey’s would be at our house playing cards or just talking for hours. Sometimes the Arrington’s would drive down from Shidler and spend the evening and again just sit around and talk and of course eat together. Even if there was no company visiting we would sit on the porch and watch the coyotes run across the hills or at least listen to them howling back and forth. That was great fun. Life seemed much like the DR and I have to say it takes some getting use to these days. I guess I just need to slow down.

So what does all this mean?

What do you learn in the Osage?

Stuff is much less important than family and friends
Time is fleeting, and you don’t get a second chance to use it because it is already gone
Happiness is where the heart is and that is precisely why stuff does not make you happy
Thanks for listening,

gary
gary@thepioneerman.com
　

　

　

　

　

　

If you really want to eat, go to Grainola or Mandy's in Shidler on Saturday night

First off I have to tell you that Susie Hobbs was one of the best cooks ever but when she put her recipes in the Grainola Cookbook I think she cheated a little and did not tell the precise recipe.  Shouna, my wife, use to try one Grainola recipe each week or so every time she tried one of Susie Hobb's it failed.  I know better becuase I worked over there a few times working cattle (for those who don't know what that means, it is when we cut off the horns and castrate the calves).  Let's take a little detour.  When the calves are young and I would say less than 200 pounds we would remove the nubs (baby horns) and remove the testicles from the bull calves.  Let me tell you those boy calves did not enjoy the event.  Back to Susie Hobbs, she was a great cook and you could not find any better mirange pies, either coconut or lemon and she was as good as it gets making fried chicken.  Her fried chicken was as fresh as you could get it because she would walk out in the back yard and grab a few chickens, ring their necks and dip them in boiling water then pluck their feathers and remove the innards and cut them up and straight to the cast iron skillet with boiling grease.  Of course she rolled the chicken in flower and seasoning before the frying pan.

Actually, I don't recall a lady in Grainola who was not a great cook, except maybe Aunt Gladys Snyder (it seemed that when I was at her house Billy would cook or we would have bologna).  I do know that Jon Tanny Olsen showed up at our house to get cookies quit often so I am assuing Maggie (Marguaret, his mom, did not make cookies, at least enough to satisfy Jon Tanny).  I should also say that Eddie Harris showed up to eat often.  About the only person I think could out cook about everyone was my sister Debbie Sue and she seemed to cook every day.  Her cookies and deserts were over the top, especially her no-bake oatmeal and her chocolate chip cookies.

Now I will give one shout out for my mom's German Chocolate Cake.  None Better! Oh, her cinnamon rolls and her chili!

Of course you all know the history of Head Country BBQ sauce and how it was made by our neighbors who were welders and cattlemen, Tom Head and I think Bud might have been a little help.

Now we do have one famous cook who is from a different generation and that is Mandy of Shidler and the daughter of John Payne (pain in the neck is what a lot of his teachers called him).  Most of you know him as the One Armed Bandit, not to be confused with the slot machine, but a rodeo entertainer.  What you may not know is Mandy is every bit as good as John on a horse but she has about the best steaks you will ever taste.  Check out her web site but generally it is every Saturday evening from about 5 to 7 and I believe there is only one thing on the menu, steak.  I have been there a few times over the years and I tell folks no matter where I have traveled there is no better steak than at Mandy's.  And just in case if you are wondering, I did not get paid for saying all that.  The food is worth the trip and the folks are the best, along with the atmosphere, truly western.

Mandy's Cafe, Shidler, Oklahoma

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• The best cooks don't always share their secrets
• Don't underestimate a welders ability to cook
• Always compliment the mouth that feeds you, like your mom and your sister

Thanks for listening,

gary 

golson21@hotmail.com

Only in a small town like Grainola

When you live in small towns you get to know about everyone and a lot of times you just get surprised about what you don't know.  One of those times was when I was in downtown Grainola (get real as there was only about 36 folks in Grainola and there were probably more dogs than people) at Dale's Feed Seed and Fertilizer Store and here comes Paul Jones (dad to Paula, Debbie and David and wife to Billie, I guess that is how you spell Billie) landing his airplane on main street right in front of the tennis courts, the Post Office and Dale's.  Paul was bald headed, like a lot of the Jones as they got older, but he was adventuresome and just down right a lot of fun.  He jumped out of the plane with a big smile on his face and with everyone coming over to see the commotion he was in his element.  I guess everyone wants to be noticed but Paul was all about the fun.  Anyway, that was the first time I saw Paul's plane and the first time I saw a plane up that close.  And the only time I saw a plane in downtown of any town, especially Grainola.

I don't know if it is true but Paul was supposed to have flown his airplane under a high line wire many a time but once he hooked it and flipped the plane.  He lived.  Another story which I cannot validate is he drove a Ford Bronco (as I remember anyway, it kind of looked like a jeep to me) with an engine that he rebuilt and it was told that he had a high patrolman clock it and he was over 140 miles per hour on Highway 60 down by Pawhuska.

I am not sure all the stories were true but based on the evidence he was guilty of all these pranks.  He flew his airplane to hay fields where we cut, bailed and hauled the hay which he contracted.  I guess you could say he was an entrepreneur.  As I recall we could stack about 600 bales on a semi trailer which he would take to anywhere they would pay.  The hay was typically alfalfa but we bailed and hauled a lot of prairie hay and some hay-grazer (kind of like johnson grass but a lot better).  It seemed that about every young man at one time or another worked in the hay fields around Grainola, Shidler, Fairfax, Pawhuska (home of the pioneer woman, Ree Drummond), plus Copan and Bartlesville.  I should throw in Little Chief since they are making a movie focused on the murders in Little Chief and the remainder of Osage County.  The movie is based on the book "Killers of the Flower Moon".  You gotta read the book, it is a killer (get it? ha, ha).  In fact now that I bring that up we hauled hay for E.C. Mullendore, who was murdered up around Copan by what they think was the mob.  There is a book about it and I believe the title is: "The Mullendore Murder Case".


Paul is mentioned in the book along with some of the other Grainola folks as he flew  E.C. to Ponca City where E.C. transacted some business supposedly with the mob.

Paul is also the person who gave me my first airplane ride from the Mullendore Ranch near Copan to Shidler so I could get back to the start of football practice.  Paul teased me about getting sick in his airplane for weeks telling me I had to carry a bucket in case I tossed up some chunks.  Do I need to explain?  NOT!  He tried everything he could to make me sick and luckily I did not.

Paul was just one of those great guys in my life and I am thankful I got to know him.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Life is like a box of chocolates, you just don't know what you are gonna get
• In everything give thanks and learn something
• You will never regret if you keep your mind on what matters most, like Jesus and family

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

Manure and Money are a lot alike

If you pile up manure it stinks but if you spread it around it can be a benefit, kind of like money.  Now I know most folks have never known of a cow chip throwing contest and actually we did not have a formal one in Grainola or Shidler but I have thrown more than my fair share.  The real story here is about our country being a Republic that protects our human rights.  In that is the right to spread around our cow chips however we want without government intervention or at least minimal intervention while preserving our personal rights to invest our personal capital however we choose (that means spread our capital around or spread our cow chips however we want).  Now when I say personal capital it might mean money or talent or ingenuity or friendship or mercy and there might be more meanings, but I will stop there.  If you have not read our constitution or bill of rights recently I would suggest you read them again because it seems that this country is getting messed up.

People like my grandfather (a legal immigrant) came to America to find opportunity better than what there was in Sweden.  He said the problem in Sweden is that the taxes were so high that only the privileged could get ahead.  In America we all have the same rights (at least that is the way it was supposed to be) but what we do with that depends on the decisions we make and our work ethic.  The constitution did not promise everyone equal pay, equal taxes, equal smarts, equal talents primarily because it could not promise that.  What it did say is that it would protect each of us and in fact I am not sure it gave individual rights but it gave that promise to the nation as a whole.  (boy do I ramble sometimes)

I hope you don't believe that I am covering every aspect of those rights but I am saying that each of us can make decisions on how hard we want to work and we will reap the rewards for those decisions.  whoops, I bet some folks will have a problem with that because the rewards are not always distributed fairly and you would be correct.  What I am saying is that we can use our heads to choose but we are all limited by our basic talent, smarts, social skills etc..  In the old days folks persevered through hardship and they planned ahead for problems.  There was the depression, WW I and WWII and the Korean War and Vietnam War and depressions and even the dust bowl and if you were a farmer there was bad weather and lots of times failure.  What I am suggesting is Proverbs 2 says that the beginning of wisdom is knowledge and knowledge comes from experience both good and bad and that success is a function of adding up all your failures and short comings and overcoming them.

None of you can imagine how I see things because you did not walk in my shoes.  You don't know of my failures and shortcomings but you have opinions and thoughts that may or may not be correct.  Let me tell you what I see and my perception of a few folks:

Jim Heath - smartest guy in my class - successful because he raised a good family and invested his life how he saw fit.

Hugh Jones - US Marine - winner and overcomer

Jon Tanny Olsen - built a company through hard work and tenacity and raised a family and has a successful marriage to Pam.

Yep, these are the three boys of the Grainola 5 and sometimes 6.  I wish I knew what happened to Denise.

Joy Frank - she is the sometimes 6 - teacher, wife, parent and grandparent - beautiful person

These are all successful folks and I do not know what their net worth is in dollars but they are inspirations to me and their net worth to me is enormous.  Their lives were invested and they spread their chips (get it?) around and in the end (or close to the end) they are successful.

So, back to spreading around those cow chips.  If you spread around a little manure there might be some mess along the way but in the end growth occurs.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A chip off the old block is not necessarily a bad thing
• A little BS is good especially if it is dry and thrown around a little
• And if you take those chips and Pile them Higher and Deeper you will have a PHD following your name with a comma 

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

Uncle Bill Lane is just one more unknown hero

Well, Uncle Bill passed May 30th to everyones surprise.  He was born in Grainola at home on December 6, 1930 and did serve in the military during WWII.  It is funny that he never talked about being in the military and yet there was a military funeral held in Collinsville, OK and then buried in Talala.  During the war he was stationed in Washington State and that is all I really know since he never talked about it.

What was really inspiring about the occasion besides having a bunch of the family getting together one more time to celebrate a life well lived is the other heroes in the crowd.  By the way, isn't it great when someone passes we talk about the good and not the bad although I never knew of or heard one single bad thing about Uncle Bill.  Back to the others who attended, Wayne Patterson or as we called him, Big Wayne because my brother Larry Wayne Olson was younger, was always inspiring to me because he served and his dad, Uncle Harley, also served as well as his brother Stanley (another story).  I was always too young to understand everything and many times my recollections may not be entirely accurate but during the Bay of Pigs, Wayne was on his way to serve before President Kennedy pulled the plug.  I am not sure where else Wayne served but as I recall he worked in Haiti or the Dominican Republic helping build infrastructure there.  It was always fun at holidays that Wayne would hitch hike to and from the military until he showed up one time with a big Harley Davidson and he told me he got it up to 140 miles per hour.  Now one last little story about Wayne and that is he showed me how to shoot a single shot 12 gauge long tom shot gun loaded with double shot.  I was about 12 years old and very big for my age and Wayne told me to hold the gun butt about an inch from my right should.  YA! you would think I would hate him after that prank.  It knocked me plum backwards on my butt.  My shoulder hurt like crazy and he and Stanley and Larry Wayne stood there laughing.

Then there was Stanley who served in the Marines in Vietnam during the 67 and 68 conflicts.  He was not a happy camper.  I always wanted to be like him and Big Wayne and my parents used that against me.  They told me I would have to take hot baths and use soap to grow up like them.  I trusted them.  Anyway, back to Stanley.  It was because of him that I wanted to be a Marine and serve our country and it was also because of him that I was concerned about what was going on in Vietnam.  He told me the government was trying to run the conflict from Washington using political ideas on wining a war.  He was watching friends get killed and wounded by politicians stupid uninformed advice.  Stanley is also the one who taught me how to torture someone and I was his target.  Have you noticed there is a common thread of prankster behavior in this family?

Well, at the funeral for Uncle Bill there were other veterans and it was moving to hear and see a military honor guard.  That day I remembered all of those who served like Uncle Bill, Uncle Harley and his two sons, Uncle Snyd (Vernon Snyder of Grainola and his brother), all of my dad's brothers and my dad and many more.  Even Aunt Gladys Snyder served.  The legacy these folks have left are remarkable.  A big thank you to all who serve and have served.

And if you did not notice Uncle Bill's service was on the 70th anniversary of D-Day.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• freedom is not cheap
• love and honor those who put their lives on the line for you and me

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

RED MAN CHEWING TOBACCO - every boy has to try it

I suppose most, if not all, boys have to try tobacco once in their life.  My Poppie Jess Lane liked plug tobacco which was a rectangular shaped chunk of tobacco about 3 inches long by 2 inches wide and half an inch thick as I recall.  He would bite into it and yank his head to the side to tare off a piece then he would take his tongue and push it to the side between his teethe and cheek giving him a chipmunk look.  If you cannot picture that, think of yourself with a big old bump on the side of your mouth sticking out about an inch.  He would suck on that stuff and then spit into an old bucket he kept besides his favorite chair.  Pretty gross?  huh?  Anyway, then there was Uncle Don Lane who liked the pouch tobacco, Red Man, and he could put about half a pouch of tobacco in his cheek at all times.  In fact I would not be surprised if Uncle Don slept with tobacco in his jaw.  Uncle Don was a doctor for sure because once when Larry, my brother, got stung by a bee, Uncle Don immediately took the wad of wet sticky slim out of his mouth and put it on the bee sting which was behind the ear of Larry.  He said it would take away the swelling and pain.  Well of course it did because you would no longer be thinking about the sting but that slim behind your ear and how gross it was.  I should tell you that Uncle Bill Lane was more like Poppie Jess in that he liked the plug and later converted to Red Man. 

All of this reminds me of when I was selling bibles door to door for the summer after high school and for 3 summers.  I have to tell you that only the tough survive that job.  Well it was during the summer I was working in Kentucky and I was invited into this very nice house to share my book selling skills and I sat in this really nice rocker recliner.  These folks seemed like upper crust, if you know what I mean, and had a lot of money by my standards.  The lady was very well dressed and they seemed like sophisticated Methodist, which they were.  Well, they invited me to sit in that rocker recliner but just before I sat down I noticed a small empty green bean can filled with tobacco juice.  So, I asked the mister where he would like to put it and he yelled at his wife to come and get her can.  Yes, her can!  I was shocked but as I worked in Kentucky I gained wisdom that a lot of women used tobacco and in particular Garrett Sweet Snuff and a few, used Copenhagen or some other form of snuff.  Who knew?  Wow!

That reminds me of how I met my wife, Shouna.  When I was in college at Southwestern Oklahoma State University in Weatherford, Oklahoma I was watching all the girls at the student union and she was one of them.  Well I noticed that she was dipping snuff and it was dripping out of both sides of her mouth.  My mom always told me to find a level headed woman to marry, so I did, that day in 1973 around Thanksgiving time.  As I write this story May 23rd, 2019 I am thankful for having married that curly headed blond that was so level headed.  I feel blessed.  Ask her, she will tell you.

OK, back to the story.  Not sure if I ever got started but here goes.  In 1969 I was on the school bus coming home from a track meet in Newkirk, Oklahoma headed toward Shidler High School to get in my red Chevy (1963) and head home, one mile north of Grainola and 3 west past Vea Harris's house.  On that bus Hugh Allen Jones (1 of 5 sometimes 6) had a pack of RED Man Chewing Tobacco and he was sharing it.  I took a pinch (more like a handful) and placed it between my tongue and cheek and proceeded to enjoy the flavor, NOT!  I started getting dizzy and then I think I turned greener than the green giant.  No sooner than we got back to Shidler and I got off that bus I started throwing up chunks.  That was my first, middle and last time I ever tried snuff or chewing tobacco. 

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• If you have worms, try a little Red Man and whatever is inside you will come out
• If it stings and Uncle Don is around, run, the pain is better than the solution
• Don't try something new when you cannot get out of the bus
• level headed women are hard to find, unless you have a technique 

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

How to eat a piece of Pie in one bite for $1

Only Harold Codding would do that.  We were at the annual 4-H livestock show in Pawhuska and Harold and I were showing cattle and judging livestock but we had to eat.  One of the great things about the livestock show was the cafeteria.  I don't know how they did it but they had great food and especially great pies (pronounced with a long I, Pi's).  By the way did you know that Pie are round and cornbread are square.  Not at all what your math and science teacher tell you.  They contend that PI is squared.  Obviously they did not know great cooks (I am guessing you get the humor in all this).
anyway, Harold and I went to eat at the cafeteria and he ordered a piece of apple pie.  Then he proceeded to eat it in one byte and I promise you they gave him a normal piece of pie which in those days was pretty good size.  Harold, commonly known as Chuckles because he would always chuckle when he thought something was funny, shared with me that his mother, Helen, and he had a bet on losing weight.  Harold never needed to lose weight as he had about zero fat.  Harold had muscles in his ears and teeth (maybe) and yes, he could wiggle his ears.  I am telling you his face muscles could flex.  I have never known anyone who had muscles literally everywhere popping out on his body.  Harold could walk on his hands all around the gym and he could do hand stands on a chair, ridiculous but true!

The bet was that if you had a desert, he or his mom, had to put a dollar in the jar and whoever won the desired weight contest got to keep all the money.  Knowing Harold I would not be surprised that he or his mother would donate the money to the Foraker United Methodist Church rather than keeping it for themselves.  Did I mention that before we even paid for our meal which was like a cafeteria where we were standing in line to pay, Harold ate the piece of pie!  Yep, one bite!  And you could bet your bottom dollar that he put it in the jar and was honest enough to tell his mother.  Harold was like the commercial, "Spic and Span" in everything.  Yes, I am embarrassing Harold, but he deserves it for being next to perfect, at least while in high school. I should also mention that if you would like to see the old church bell from the Foraker Church, it is in my yard.

Next time I will tell you how tight he was/is.  I will just say this, Harold lived one summer while selling books/Bibles door to door on $5 per week room and board!  Ya, that is rent and food.  I will also tell you how he did it.  This little old lady fell in love with how nice Chuckles was and she would let him live with her for the summer and prepare him breakfast and dinner for $5 per week.  Only Harold!

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Harold is/was tighter than a popcorn fart - sorry for the color but that is a country saying for he could get a dollar out of a dime like no other
• nice guys really do come in first
• integrity starts at an early stage and the parents set the example

Thanks for listening,

gary 

golson21@hotmail.com

Go, Go, Go to Amazon and order my book and help support adults with special needs.  

"Home on the Range by Gary Olson"

I shot a beaver on Beaver Creek

Growing up on Beaver Creek was a blessing and a gift.  The tall cotton woods to the giant oaks and gravel beds then running water teaming with fish of all types and yes, some beavers.  I don't believe I ever walked the creek without seeing something God created and on rare occasion I would find an Indian arrowhead or and Indian artifact like the remains of a rock hammer or grinding bowl.  As for the animals, there were lots of raccoons and squirrels and in particular the very large red squirrels which were great for eating.  Countless birds of all types and opossums and skunks and coyotes and an occasional badger but not very many dear or turkey but lots of bobwhite quail.  Another of my favorites was the many types of turtles but that is for another story.

Back to the beavers on Beaver Creek.  About a half mile from the house was Soup's fishing hole as we called it because Soup Wade lived not too far from there before he and Letha moved to Shidler.  As a side note, Dad and I built an addition on Soup and Letha's house in Shidler while I was in the 8th grade.  Every day after school I would go help dad and Soup always bragged on me about how hard I worked.  Anyway, after a few months on the project when we were finished Soup decided to pay me for helping dad.  He paid me $5 and to say the least I was a little disappointed as I probably worked over 50 hours and probably over 100 hours as we worked on Saturdays as well on his house.  I loved Soup and in the end it did not matter cause (that is country for because) I enjoyed being around Soup and he was a special friend.  OK, back to the beaver.  Just past the fishing hole there was a beaver dam which is basically a pile of sticks and tree trunks with the majority under water. The pile sticking up was in the middle of the creek and that is where the beavers slept and hid out.  It was always exciting to me to find where and how the beavers got the material for building their houses.  Whenever you saw tree stumps that were sharpened like a pencil and a pile of wood chips, you knew there were beaver close by.

Well that day I was fishing and carrying a shotgun just in case I wanted to do a little hunting.  Suddenly I saw some movement in the water and about the same time that beaver slapped his tail which is very wide and flat and it made a loud sound warning the other beaver of danger.  He was right, I loaded my gun and was on the hunt.  I always wanted a beaver hat just like Danial Boone and now was the time.  What I can tell you is I never got that beaver hat.  And I can tell you I shot at that beaver around 20 times, each time he would dive under the water and escape my passion.  Either that beaver was one tough beaver and my shotgun was not powerful enough or I was a terrible shot but that beaver did not make it to beaver heaven on my terms.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Beaver hats are in short supply
• Folks that talk too much need to learn to hunt and fish
• There are more rewards for hard work than just money
• Never forget to look for the best in folks just like my friend Soup

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com or golson21@hotmail.com

Go get my book on Amazon and support folks with special needs.  Home on the Range by Gary Olson  ---- all profits go to www.wingsok.org ----- or send a check to me made out to Wings for $25 or more and I will donate the book and give 100% to Wings as a donation from you.  I will also ship it to you free as long as you are in the US.  I have no idea how much it would cost to ship overseas.

The barn that floated out of the ground

One time Bud Frank (dad to Joy who is #6 of the Grainola Grubbers 5 and sometimes 6) asked my dad to help build a pole barn where he could store the hay used during the winter to feed the cattle.  I guess Bud was going to save some money by putting in the poles without Dad's help.  Dad told him how to put in the poles else the barn would float out of the ground.  Bud did not believe that was possible and did not take my Dad's advice.  You see Dad and I built about 20 of these pole barns for folks all over Grainola and Shidler and Foraker.  By the way, did I mention that I now have the Foraker school bell at my house and getting ready to install it in my garden?  OK, back to the barn.  Well, Bud went ahead with the project and Dad helped put the rafters and the roof on top of all those poles.  What you may not know is that water can lift a lot of weight.  Think about it, a battle ship made of heavy steel floats on water.  So if you put a pole barn in a low spot where the water table can get fairly shallow you will get a floating barn.  Sure enough, when the next rain came along Bud's barn floated up about 1 to 2 feet.  Luckily the poles were in the ground about 4 feet but it made for what dad called a cockeyed barn because the barn did not float out entirely level.

Bud was shocked to say the least and dad just chuckled, like always.  And after he chuckled he probably smoked a cigarette, like always.  Now thinking about that let me ask you, "why does the government give soldiers cigarettes and beer then turn around and file a lawsuit against the cigarette companies?"  Shouldn't the government take some of the responsibility for giving soldiers cigarettes?  and beer?  Now that I think about it, should parents who allow their children to smoke cigarettes and drink beer when under age be held liable?  Should parents who tell children not to smoke or drink but do the same in front of their children be held responsible for what happens to them?  Just an interesting question not that I have all the answers.  Now I am not trying to start a fight and I am for sure not perfect but I do like to ask aggravating questions.  Back to the barn.

Now, how do you fix the problem of a floating barn?  I don't know.  I think it is too late.  

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• sometimes you just can't fix things
• advice is not always perfect but we probably should take it into consideration 
• advice should be considered and when experience is involved it should not be ignored
• If you can float a battleship made of steel it is easy to float a barn out of a hole

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

Fart Knocker - who would say something like that?

I know it is a little off color but my dad, Cliff Olson, was kind of ornery to say the least.  On occasion when least expected he would hold up his fist and say, "what is this?".  No matter what my answer was, it was wrong.  But one of the most endearing definitions he had was, "it is a fart knocker".  Upon his answer he would take his fist, turn it over and gently knock on my shoulder or chest and then say, " I am a fart knocker, knocking on farts" while of course tapping on me.  I hope you get the picture.  I don't think I knew of a kinder more loving person than my dad, everyone liked him especially the young guys like me.  He was always friendly and including of those who never got much attention from their dad and mom.

I would write another story about one of his other endearing comments but it is more off color so I will just include it right here.  Dad would hold up his index finger and pronounce, "this is a shit-hook" and then proceed to hook my shirt or place it under my chin indicating I was a piece of shit.  Sure, you can get your underwear in a wad about the off-color nature of my dad's jokes but the only person being hurt is you because you don't get a kind hearted joke.

Well I guess the nut does not fall too far from the tree as I find myself with some ornery type habits and here are a few of my own creations.  First off, I have a tendency to rough house with folks, meaning I will walk up and punch them in the chest, not too hard, or on the shoulder, again, not too hard.  Once I did this to my son-in-law, William Casallas (yes, he is from Columbia and a great soccer player or at least once was), and I punched him in the shoulder.  Bad idea!  He had a shoulder injury and it hurt pretty bad.  Now I don't take fault for this as he should not be playing soccer and getting hurt, his fault.  But again there is Mark Clifford (a dentist in Piedmont and in fact my dentist) who always hides or pulls his arms in close to cover his chest when he sees me.  He knows that I am going to gently hit him in the chest or shoulder every time.  Oh ya, I also have a bad habit of pulling girls ears, gently of course.  Always in fun and always to those folks I like, that is my motto.  Of course I do on occasion use my dad's favorites but only on those I know and like.

I don't know if there is a good point to all of this but it is the truth and as they say, "the truth will set you free".  Now that is a pretty good statement since today is Saturday, the day after Jesus died on the cross and the day before He was raised from the dead and the truth of that story will set you free!

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• a little orneriness is good for the soul
• never leave anyone out on a good liking, give them a punch (softly) or pull their ear (softly)
• on occasion things might back-fire on your intentions, so be prepared for some objection to your silly acts
• Jesus is the answer for bad behavior so invite Him into your life and it will set you free

Hey, thanks for listening,

gary

gary@thepioneerman.com or golson21@hotmail.com

And please buy my book, "Home on the Range by Gary Olson", it is on Amazon and all proceeds go to Wings a community for adults with special needs like down syndrome or autism.

Vicks VapoRub, oh how wonderful!

I was born with allergies and today I still have them.  In fact I spent the first year of my life, according to my mom, mostly in the hospital because they, Dr. Cecil Snyder of Winfield Kansas, could not figure out what was wrong with me.  I just could hardly breath.  In fact Dr. Snyder decided that I should have my tonsils out at the early age of one or there-abouts (that is Osage talk for around that time),  to see if that would help.  To no avail, but they did finally decide that I was allergic to milk, which is a travesty since I grew up on a dairy farm.  I should also note that I was blessed in that we got rid of the dairy cattle by the time I was about 7 or 8 years old.  If you don't understand it is because you never lived on a dairy farm.  The work is never done and you work from before daylight to after dark 7 days a week!  Anyway, back to the allergies and me being sickly.  The doctors and nurses told my folks I would never grow to a very large person because of all my problems.  Did I tell you that in the second grade I was as tall as my teacher, 5 foot 2 inches (Mrs. Casselman )?  They were wrong but they always marveled out how big I got and how fast it occurred.

Now on to Vicks:  I heard a native American last week talk about how his mom would take a glob of Vicks with her finger and put it in his mouth if he ever showed a sore in his mouth or had a cold.   Then she would rub it all over the inside of his mouth.  He read the instructions and told his mom that it was for external use only.   She said, "that is for white men".  I laughed hysterically but I also remember that Vicks was the cure for stuffy nose, allergies, colds and about anything you can think of back in those days.  In fact I loved it because I could breath better.  In fact I would put globs of it below my nose and all over my chest and neck.  Mom used it aggressively as well when she applied it to my body.  It felt a little sticky and greasy but man  it worked.  I really liked pushing a little or a lot of it up my nose.  Awwwwwww, relief!!!!  Great stuff!!!!  I can almost smell it right now!  What a great memory!

Now I will tell you about another great remedy using Udder Balm, but that will be another story.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Vicks is for kids and adults
• Doctors always set the expectations low but God allows us to have hope and high expectations
• Snorting a little Vicks is good for what ails you

Thanks for listening,
gary
golson21@hotmail.com

go to Amazon and buy my book, "Home on the Range by Gary Olson" and the profits will go to Wings, a community for adults with special needs, like Autism and Down Syndrome etc.