Fart Knocker - who would say something like that?

I know it is a little off color but my dad, Cliff Olson, was kind of ornery to say the least.  On occasion when least expected he would hold up his fist and say, "what is this?".  No matter what my answer was, it was wrong.  But one of the most endearing definitions he had was, "it is a fart knocker".  Upon his answer he would take his fist, turn it over and gently knock on my shoulder or chest and then say, " I am a fart knocker, knocking on farts" while of course tapping on me.  I hope you get the picture.  I don't think I knew of a kinder more loving person than my dad, everyone liked him especially the young guys like me.  He was always friendly and including of those who never got much attention from their dad and mom.

I would write another story about one of his other endearing comments but it is more off color so I will just include it right here.  Dad would hold up his index finger and pronounce, "this is a shit-hook" and then proceed to hook my shirt or place it under my chin indicating I was a piece of shit.  Sure, you can get your underwear in a wad about the off-color nature of my dad's jokes but the only person being hurt is you because you don't get a kind hearted joke.

Well I guess the nut does not fall too far from the tree as I find myself with some ornery type habits and here are a few of my own creations.  First off, I have a tendency to rough house with folks, meaning I will walk up and punch them in the chest, not too hard, or on the shoulder, again, not too hard.  Once I did this to my son-in-law, William Casallas (yes, he is from Columbia and a great soccer player or at least once was), and I punched him in the shoulder.  Bad idea!  He had a shoulder injury and it hurt pretty bad.  Now I don't take fault for this as he should not be playing soccer and getting hurt, his fault.  But again there is Mark Clifford (a dentist in Piedmont and in fact my dentist) who always hides or pulls his arms in close to cover his chest when he sees me.  He knows that I am going to gently hit him in the chest or shoulder every time.  Oh ya, I also have a bad habit of pulling girls ears, gently of course.  Always in fun and always to those folks I like, that is my motto.  Of course I do on occasion use my dad's favorites but only on those I know and like.

I don't know if there is a good point to all of this but it is the truth and as they say, "the truth will set you free".  Now that is a pretty good statement since today is Saturday, the day after Jesus died on the cross and the day before He was raised from the dead and the truth of that story will set you free!

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• a little orneriness is good for the soul
• never leave anyone out on a good liking, give them a punch (softly) or pull their ear (softly)
• on occasion things might back-fire on your intentions, so be prepared for some objection to your silly acts
• Jesus is the answer for bad behavior so invite Him into your life and it will set you free

Hey, thanks for listening,

gary

gary@thepioneerman.com or golson21@hotmail.com

And please buy my book, "Home on the Range by Gary Olson", it is on Amazon and all proceeds go to Wings a community for adults with special needs like down syndrome or autism.