Life is a Journey not a destination

It is always an opinion that gets you in trouble but here I am getting ready to give you a few opinions that resonate with me.  First off I believe that life is a journey and not a destination.  I could give you my theological opinion and that is that eternity with Christ is my destination and this life is just my journey to get to know Christ.  But today I am just going to give a psychological opinion on why this perspective is better than thinking everything you do is about a goal rather than a journey.

If everything I do is about the goal then I would believe that every time I miss the goal I would have some sort of depression or feeling of failure and when I achieve it the only satisfaction would be of some superiority complex.  Now don't get me wrong as I am passionate about my goals just like every time I played a game in sports I desperately wanted to win.  Every time I went to bat in baseball all I could think about was getting a hit.  My anxiety would sky rocket as in getting the butterflies before a game.  I was intense and wanted to win with a passion.  I was always disappointed when I struck out or missed a tackle or heaven forbid that I would fumble the ball when I was full back in football (the oblong ball).  Now think on this for a while if I just hit 30% of the time in baseball I could be in the hall of fame!  WOW!  That sounds like a pretty high failure rate.   In basketball is you make over 50% of your shots in the field you are great and if you make over 90% of the free throws you are in the very elite in America.  Keep in mind that the basketball court and free throw lines are the same in grade school as in the pros.

Back to my point, goals are great but GROWTH is greater.  Let me say it another way.  If each time I lose I get a little better meaning that my lows are always a little higher than my previous lows isn't that a much better measure of success?  Another way to say it is:  if I was really good in the beginning and the end I was the same place I was when I began, can I say I was successful?  Which do you admire most the person who was the smartest or fastest or the person who overcame some difficulty and became the best?  Wes Welker (football player just traded to Denver from New England Patriots) from Oklahoma was too small to be recruited by any college in Division One and in fact was a walk on and the last person accepted to Texas Tech scholarship but they had one left he showed heart.  When the pro draft was open he was not much to consider and most teams did not even give a minimal consideration to draft him.  He has become one of the greatest receivers in the NFL and not for one year but for many years.  What gets you more motivated, a genius who went to Harvard and developed Facebook or the son of an English teacher who took his uncle's BBQ sauce recipe and made it one of the best know BBQ sauce brands in America.  How about the son of a big time movie star who becomes a drug attic or alcoholic (happens all the time) or the small town boy who follows his passion and becomes a movie start who happens to have a son who does well and the son maintains his family image and does well like Ben Johnson or Lance Howard  both parents of famous Hollywood actors.  Do I need to tell you the names and where they came from?

• Danny Head son of the marvelous English teacher Helen Head
• Ben Johnson Jr. son of Ben Johnson Sr.
• Ron Howard son of Lance Howard

All of Osage Country fame.  The list can be very long but I would bet you that everyone of these folks are thankful for the ones who built and protected this country not the politicians or government bureaucrats who risk nothing, STOP.  I was regressing into my feelings toward big government.  But I do think everyone of us should be thankful for those who went before us that upheld HONOR, INTEGRITY, LOYALTY TO COUNTRY, HONOR TO GOD and risked their lives for us so that we may experience the journey of freedom in America.  

Back to the beginning.  Isn't the trip the most fun not the destination?  To make my point one last time think about when you have invested your time and energy in being with your family and in particular your children and the joy of that time together knowing that they are going to have a better life because you experienced the journey together.  Memories are best shared.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Peckerwood

What a name!  I never knew what it meant except that my dad called me Peckerwood many times.  I think he just loved me and that was how he said it.  How can a name without meaning say, "I love you"?  Dad just had a way with some of the simplest words.  He, Clifford Woodrow Olson, took simple words and gave them meaning.  It was in his tough country voice but his smile captured you and told me that he cared.

On occasion when he wanted  you to know for sure he was pulling your leg he would push his tongue in the side of his jaw so that it stuck out like there was a big wad of chewing tobacco and then he would roll it around.  His sense of humor was inspiring and always close by.  One of my favorite sayings was when we were planting some bermuda grass seed and he made the comment, "that seed is small than nat shit".  Now if that does not draw a picture for you let me explain.  A nat is smaller then the head of a pin and probably about 1/4 that size so nat shit had to be smaller than that.  Dad could draw a picture so clear in just a few words.  I admired my dad's ability to think so quick and tell stories that just resonated with me for life.

I don't know if everything he said was original but there were some of his antics or jokes that will never leave me and I would like to leave them with you and especially my children.  For example he would hold up his index finger like it were a hook and ask you, "what is this?".  It was obvious it was a hook and when I answered such he would say, "no, it is a shit hook".  Then he would immediately reach over and hook onto you/me which implied that a shit hook - hooks shit which would obviously mean you/me was shit.  Oh get your underwear out of a wad over my use of the word shit.  Another one that dad would often use was he would hold out his fist and ask, "what is this?".  He would say it is a fart knocker and then immediately start knocking on your head or mine.  Sure these all seem silly but there was something magnetic about Dad and his humor.  Folks just liked to hear his jokes and mostly his stories.

Here are several of the small stories he told.

Dad was getting fat in his old age as he would say.  He made the remark many times that he was at least 145 pounds soaking wet.  That was the truth, he never weighed much over that if any.

He had a bald spot on the back side of his head about 1 and 1/2 inches long and a little over 1/8 inch wide.  I asked him how that happened and he said that he smarted off to his brother who had an ax in his hand at the time.  He said he never bled much but his hair never grew back in that spot.

Dad was a very close friend of Bill Olsen and Dad and Bill liked to pull tricks on folks.  One time they planted something that resembled a giant spider on the stairs to scare Larry Olsen as they knew he did not like spiders.  From what I understood they got in big trouble with Nanny over that one.

It was David or Bob Harris's wedding and dad stuffed his hankerchief in the exhaust pipe so the get away car would not run.  If you don't understand the problem it is that when an exhaust pipe/muffler is stopped up it creates a back pressure and the car will not start.  It is the same reason you don't drive a car through high water as it will choke out the engine.

Now that I think about all this I remember that there were many a man who told stories and hung around Dad.  One of them was Bill Wolfe's dad who would come out to the Pumpkin Patch in Edmond at Penn and 178th which is where we lived and yes it is called Clifford Farms after my dad.  Now Mr. Wolfe and Dad and really about all of the men I recall had one thing in common.  They smoked cigarettes.  So I think we can scientifically conclude that smoking is what causes old men to be able to tell stories.  That makes about as much sense as that the government is here to help you.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• Peckerwood means, "I love you"

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

WINGS A Special Needs Community | Welcome

WINGS A Special Needs Community | Welcome

Ice and Snow

Growing up on the farm always meant there was something to do so when the snow and ice came for the most part it was a time to celebrate.  Chores were minimized but absolutely not eliminated.  Living in the country had its benefits but chores had to be done.  For example we had to feed the cows and calves, chickens and pigs and yes a few sheep.  We also had to make sure they could get water.  Everyone knew that water was more critical than food.  Luckily we had a creek that had running water so most of the animals and in particular the cattle could get a drink no matter what.  But there were cattle in pastures where there was not running water and in fact those were the places we had ponds (remember the frog gigging story) to capture water for the livestock.  The hardest part about this was that as the winter days dragged out the ponds would freeze over and sometimes get 6 to 12 inch thick ice on them.  We would have to take an ax, plus shovels, plus sledge hammers and go chop ice holes for the cattle every day.  Now that may not sound too bad but if you had to do it very often it is the one thing I always said I would never come back to the farm to do, chop ice.  I would have to tell you today that I would gladly buy back our farm and ranch and chop ice in the winter if Dee Johnson would sell it, at a reasonable price of course.

One of the things I did like about the ice was on occasion we, Larry and I, would take a chunk of ice and take some home made hockey sticks and play hockey on the ice.  It was a lot of fun until you would hear the cracking of the ice which scared the heck out of us.  If you fell in it was sure death in those cold waters and being out in the country.  One of the things I did not like was when you cut the ice there was mud that developed and your feet would get sucked into it and it was cold and getting colder the longer you stood there and chopped.  In fact it was easier to stand on the ice and chop toward the shore than stand on the shore and chop ice.

The view outside our house was absolutely incredible after a big snow.  One year we had about a 13 inch snow fall and the only way out was dad taking the Alice Chalmers tractor and driving up to Vea Harris's house where Cack Harrington had already cleared the roads so dad could carry the mail.  He had parked his pickup at Vea's house so he could carry the mail.  Of course not everyone could get their mail due to the snow but dad did his part.

The other great part was dad built massive sleds for us that we could take to the hills and slide around for hours only to come back to the warm fireplace and mom's cooking.  I think mom thoroughly enjoyed seeing us play so hard and then come in to warm up.  The snow and ice was caked on our shoes and clothes.  In fact the shoe laces were so covered you coul hardly untie them.  Probably one of the greatest reasons snow was so much fun is that we knew we had taken care of the animals and mom and dad basically turned us loose to have fun as if it were a national holiday.  Those were joyful times in our house as the days went by we always had the same routine of work, play and eat.  Now I would also have to tell you we did not watch a lot of TV and in fact we played games as a family.  Great fun!  Great times!

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Work is what you make it, not what it makes you.
• Responsibility comes first before play along with a good attitude
• Planning is important, plan for the winter and plan for the fun

Have a great day and thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Squirrel hunting

One of my favorite times was going hunting with my brother Larry Olson who I have looked up to all my life.  I should say Dr. Larry Olson as he spent the time to get that dadgummed thing and it took an extra 4 years of school and a lot of hard work.  Anyway Larry was always a very focused and disciplined person except for the one time he ran over me with the pickup and I will have to tell you that story sometime.  By the way in case you are wondering I did live.  Man I hope you figured that out on your own.  OK, OK.  Larry could do about anything and he would always do it well or should I say great.  Where he lacked talent he made up with determination and practice.  Well outside of fishing I think hunting was my favorite thing to do with him and most of the time I liked it better than fishing.  The only thing I did not like was he could do both better than me.

Well I would have to say that about once a week especially during the fall and winter we would hunt.  We hunted primarily two things, squirrels and quail.  Living on Beaver Creek we had lots of timber (trees) and there were lots of oaks with acorns and many walnut trees.  If you have never had black walnuts to eat then you have never had a real walnut.  They are amazing.  Anyway in those trees after the leaves had dropped you could see the squirrel nests.  Basically they were large balls of leaves and twigs put together up in the trees where the wind and rain and weather would not bother the squirrels.  Sure there were squirrels who lived in holes in trees but mostly they lived in those nests.  Our trees were generally pretty tall and I would estimate 30 to 50 feet tall.  Some of the oak trees and cotton woods would be so big you could not get your arms and body even half way around the trunk of the tree.  Another thing you should know is we did not have these sissy little grey squirrels that live around the cities and are like rats everywhere.  We had giant red squirrels which are about four times bigger.  The squirrels were fast and very sneaky.  Larry and I would get up and out about day light to go hunting and you had to sneak up on the squirrels to keep from spooking them.

Generally Larry always carried the 22 rifle and I would carry a 410 shot gun.  Once in a while we would shoot a squirrel and they would run into the nest and we could not retrieve them as the nests were so far out on a limb that you could not get to them.  But, dad always came through and he insisted that if you killed a squirrel then you had better figure out a way to get it down out of those nests.  Well, we heated the house with wood and one small gas heater in the hallway but the primary heat source in winter was firewood.  So if you have any thinking skills you figured out that dad would make us get the chain saw and cut down the tree to get the squirrel and that tree became the firewood for winter cold nights.  It was really a pretty good system and I really did not mind as I liked to work outside and cutting and splitting wood was something I enjoyed most of the time.

Once you recovered the squirrel it was time to clean it.  That meant cleaning out the guts and skinning it.  Squirrel hide is the most difficult hide there is when you are cleaning an animal.  But once you got that squirrel cleaned and washed up mom was ready to put on the cast iron skillet with some Crisco (grease) and fry it until a nice crispy covering.  Sometimes she would make squirrel gravy and MAN! I would have to tell you that was "some good eat'n"!  I would also have to say that mom taught my sister Debbie to be a great cook as well.  I don't remember Debbie ever going hunting but she would go fishing on occasion.  Mostly she liked to cook and I think she took great pleasure in spoiling her brothers and especially me.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Eat what you kill
• Clean your plate, there are people starving in China
• Exercise and outdoors are the keys to a happy life and it is the easiest place to go and see God's greatest work.  
• It is impossible to be an outdoors man and not believe in God.
• How stupid is it to believe a BIG Bang could have created the variety and beauty of nature?

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Frog gigging

There are a lot  of theories about frog gigging and I am confident it has changed over the years.  Prior to the modern form, using a 22 rifle, we used to find a long stick which we would sharpen creating a spear.  A lot of folks liked a double headed spear as it was easier to retrieve the frog with a double headed spear.

In fact that reminds me of a couple of things that have changed over the years.  Number 1, everyone carried a pocket knife and a few actually had a leather holster where they carried their Bowie knife.  As I remember David Howell, probably the smartest person I have ever known, always carried his knife right on his hip.  Second, we all took them to school where we continually worked on our skills at sharpening and throwing.  Yes we sure did!  During lunch we would take our knives out and show each other our throwing skills and we would compete to be the best at sharpening knives.  I was always impressed as both AJ Jacques and Jon Tanny Olsen seemed to always be the best at sharpening but David was a pretty good sharpener and he could really throw.  I should also explain that the way you tested how sharp your knife was is could you shave your arm or leg with it.  One of the games we played was 'chicken' which was basically throwing your knife at each others feet and seeing who could get the closest without injuring someone.  Generally it was a good idea to wear heavy leather boots if you wanted to play.  Some folks wore tennis shoes and that was just not too smart.  Once I remember AJ stabbing someone's foot and as I recall I think he got his boot cut pretty good one time.

OK, back to frog gigging. Once you located a nice long straight stick you would take out your knife and sharpen it like a spear.  After practicing a few times off to the ponds we went.  There we would hunt for a green bullfrog sticking his head up along the shore.  As a stealth hunter you had to move very slowly toward the frog to get in striking distance.  Slowly you would draw back your arm with the spear and with a swift motion you would hopefully get the frog.  There was one strategy that worked pretty good and that was night hunting using a flashlight to keep the frog from jumping as you shined the light in their eyes.  Well I have to tell you that if my eating depending on my spear hunting skills I would be dramatically smaller than I am.  Luckily we also had 22 rifles.

Larry, my brother, and I would take our single shot 22 and go hunting on many occasion.  Mostly we hunted squirrels but frogs were fun and excellent eating material.  We only ate the legs, fried of course.    Again it was a game of stealth as those frogs would jump in a hurry and you had to be careful not to shoot so close that you would bury the frog in the mud due to the power of the bullet.  One of the great things about frog hunting is we had lots of ponds (city folks call them lakes and some folks who need an education call them tanks, tanks are metal and ponds are dirt) which had lots of frogs.  You could sit on the porch of the house at night and hear frogs of every type and from as far away as a 1/4 to 1/2 mile.  It was like a symphony of frogs and if you added in the crickets it was off the charts with racket.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• There is always something to do, like frog gigging
• Knives and guns are not bad but bad people can have knives and guns
• no that is NOT political but just a fact.  The real problem is we don't punish criminals and we don't have consequences for bad behavior and we don't teach morals and discipline and we blame everyone else for bad behavior.  
• Creativity is born of the spirit of challenge and intrigue and opportunity not regurgitation of facts from a book upon a test.  If you don't believe me who would you rather have running your company?
• There is nothing better than living in the country and especially the Osage.

I love America,

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Success is a journey NOT a destination

Success is a journey NOT a destination is a statement that I thought was my own for many years.  But I have to tell you as a person who likes to read there are many folks who not only have made this statement but believe it as well.  One of those is our own Jim Whitt who is a writer and personal motivator as well as change agent for companies.  With all that said now I am going to move forward as if that statement, "Success is a journey NOT a destination" was uniquely mine and I will take full credit for the wisdom it gives.  Just kidding so don't get your underwear in a wad!

Growing up on a farm and a small town allowed me the pleasure of lying in the grass outside our house at night looking up at the stars dreaming about what was going on out there.  I always wondered how the milky way (not the candy bar) was formed and how they decided which stars were planets and which ones were most like earth and that there were other galaxies and so on and so on.  I was amazed and at the right age to witness the first landing on the moon and the first photos up close of Mars but most of all this star gazing allowed me to do what Americans do best, "dream the impossible dream".  I say impossible only because it was in the the song because I never believed in the impossible.   In fact it seemed like everyone around us only spoke in positive terms like these"

• what if?
• what do you want to be?
• what kind of job do you want?
• where do you want to travel?
• where do you want to live?

Life was never full of what you could not do, at least from a moral compass perspective.  I remember Sally Shumate, now Stinchcomb, and I would talk about becoming millionaires.  We did not talk about "if" we talked about "how" and "when" and there was never a doubt we would get there.

What is amazing to me today is that a very large number of folks have a net worth of over $1 million. If you don't believe me and you are over 50 take theses simple steps:

• take the equity (net positive value) in your land and house
• add your retirement accounts including IRA, 401k etc.
• add the value of your other assets like farm equipment, livestock, second homes etc.
• This one might be a challenge but if you know you are going to have $1500 per month in social security think of how much money you would need to have saved to get that much income.  For example if you thought you could earn 6% on your money you would need $300,000 in the investment to earn $18,000 per year or $1,500 per month.
• add any savings or other investments you have 

Add all these things together and I bet you have more than you thought.  Now some folks can add in the value of certain life insurance policies into this mix but for the most part folks have term insurance and it only has value after you die.  That sounds like a bad option.  In fact if you would like to keep the cost of insurance in your pocket for a savings account you should call me.  OK, back to the story.  

My point in all of this is not where i am winding up.  That really sucks, bad English.  My point is what we think about and what we do determines our successes, not what others think about us.  If you want to drive a truck then be the best truck driver in America or if you want to be a ditch digger then be the best ditch digger.  It is a whole lot more fun to pursue being the best at what you do than being as my dad would say, "half assed".  

You can be critical of my writing but don't bother telling me "cuz it don't bother me".  I just like to talk to you and tell you what I think and it makes me feel pretty good that I am relaying stories to my kids and the folks I love which include the folks from the Osage.  Man! this is fun.

I am ENJOYING the Journey.  Oh my!  I think I got back on the point of the story.

Thanks for spending time with me,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What do you learn about marriage in the Osage?

I find it pretty amazing how I learned about marriage in the Osage.  I never even knew I was learning it and I certainly didn't know I was being taught about marriage.

Shouna and I have been married for over 38 years and I cannot say that I was perfect even though you might think so, just kidding.  I am certain you cannot even say I was good at it.  I learned a lot of things the hard way like offending my wife, saying stupid things, having wrong expectations, not communicating my schedule, not taking out the trash, not filling up her gas tank when I should, not picking up my clothes and putting them in the laundry, expecting her to take care of every little thing just for me, not being sensitive to her needs and desires, not communicating about money and the lack there of, not keeping her car washed, not keeping the garage clean because that was important to her, working too many hours too many times, not helping with the kids, not supporting her appropriately  when the kids were acting up and the list goes on and on.

So what did I do right and what did I learn that was helpful when I got married?

Well my dad loved my mom more than he did himself.  He always told me she was the prettiest girl he ever knew.  When she wanted something he did everything he could to do it for her and sometimes even when she was not serious or at least when she knew it was impractical.  For example, I remember when mom mentioned to dad she would like to have a new washing machine.  It was not in the budget and we really could not afford it at the time but dad loved making mom happy.  So he bought her a washing machine for her birthday or Christmas and I don't remember which.  I remember she was not happy because it was not in our budget and mom stuck to the budget.  Mom managed the money and she did not appreciate it when dad bought something significant without total agreement by both parties.  I think I learned something here about communication. Hmmmmm?

Another thing I saw my dad do that I never knew I was learning was that if there was a problem, no matter who was at fault, confront it even if it was your fault or you were not sure.  He never liked there to be anxiety or madness or frustration on someones part whether it was mom, one of us kids, or a neighbor or even a stranger.  He believed conflict was not good to be harbored or internalized.  It was never a Biblical discussion about "never go to sleep with anger between the two of you" it was just common sense to him.

I have been studying Genesis in a class called BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and we have been looking at a humble spirit and how it makes enemies respect you and to make peace.  In fact it makes me wonder how anyone expects there to be peace when you drop bombs on them.  Now that could mean war like in Iraq or Afghanistan or the home, yes the home!  If you yell and belittle someone, embarrass , harass them, hold a grudge against them, be judgmental of them even if they are judging you then you are not being a humble spirited person like Isaac and/or Abraham in Genesis.  I would suggest applying some of their behavior on your / my marriage.  You just cannot win a person's heart or peace with someone by throwing things at them or worst of all NOT TALKING TO THEM, shutting them out.

WOW!  I am amazed at what I learned by watching my parents.

To put it in a nutshell here is what I learned about marriage in the Osage?

• Pay attention to your wife
• Don't over react to things she says or does
• Don't go to sleep with Anger on your heart
• Be the first to bring peace and do it with a humble heart
• Don't bring up the past and most of all don't say, " Mom or Dad did it this way" -- that is real stupid

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What calls you to action?

There are three kinds of folks:

• those that make things happen
• those that watch what happens
• and those who wonder what happened

Here are three stories that motivated me and called me to action.

Growing up in Grainola my dad got a lot of calls to help folks but as I turned about 12 I remember helping my dad do some work for Mr. Fulsom.  After that day Mr. Fulsom would just call me and ask me to come and fix what ever he needed.  I also remember that the Shumates and Snyders as in Beth Shumate (Sally and Janie's mom) and Gladys Snyder (Bill and Susie's mom) when they had problems with their sewer Dad volunteered me to go fix it.  I am telling you that is one nasty job.  Sometimes I would have to get a tank and pump and remove all the waste from the sewer tanks and other times I would have to dig up the old clay pipes and repair them.  The pipe repair was the worst.  I remember after each time Mom would ask me, "are you going to be a honey dipper or go to college?".  I would always tell her I was going to college.  I should explain a honey dipper was a person who repaired sewers.  I believe this is how my Mom motivated me to take action and prepare for college.

The second thing that was a big motivator to me was when I had to dig a ditch about 60 feet long across a gravel road.  It was heavily packed and had a lot of hard rock to bust with a sledge hammer and pick ax.  It was during the summer and very hot at the time.  Mom would deliver tea to me often and ask me, "are you going to college or be a ditch digger?".  She would walk away with a smile and light hearted laugh knowing she was again calling me to action.  

The last story is about an older couple who called and asked to talk to me.  They shared the fact that their only son was about 50 years old and they were in their 80's and that they were concerned about who and how their son would be taken care of when they were gone.  You see their son was disabled and would need someone to watch over him and his finances if they were gone.  Then they also shared that they both had cancer.  I have to tell you my heart and my eyes swelled as I could not imagine the pressure on those parents even though I have a son who is also disabled with down syndrome. 

It is stories like this that brought a few couples in Edmond, Oklahoma to start a 501(c)3 named Wings (www.wingsok.org) to help families with disabled children.  The mission became much larger and today it is housed north of Memorial Road on Boulevard in Edmond to facilitate a higher quality of life where these folks can thrive and have meaningful work plus ultimately provide housing in a safe environment.  The stories we heard by so many families drove us to action.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Don't be satisfied by doing less than your full potential
• Use those call to action moments in your life to motivate you to do more
• Helping others is more rewarding to your own soul than it is to others

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

First Love and The Edge of Night

I guess I was always a romantic and now that it is Valentine's Day I figure I  should write about the subject.  I think the real reason I am a romatntic is that Mom always watched the Edge of Night while she ironed and she ironed everything.  As a side note she ironed the sheets and my t-shirts and what seemed like everything.  My shirts were heavy with starch and my blue jeans had creases down the front so that after several washing there was a white line where the crease was.  Actually I really like my clothes heavy starched today.  Some things never change.  If you don't know what The Edge of Night was I should explain.  It was a soap opera that went on for years and years.  In fact you could miss about a year worth of shows and then turn the TV on as if you never missed a show.  Soaps were really big and Mom seemed to love that one.  Anyway I never understood it but when you are a toddler and the government is not forcing all the kids into preschool and kindergarten and mothers day out programs and / or day care centers a kid watches what Mom watches or finds something to do outside.  Well I think I was inside the house too much as I became a romantic and I am blaming it on The Edge of Night.

That brings me to my first love, Redina Oeastman.  She was about 2 or 3 years older than me and I thought she was the prettiest thing  ever.  She was nice to me and Valentines was all about  telling someone you cared.  So, I was in Ark City (Arkansas City, KS) at the Ben Freanklin store and I bought her a box of chocolates.  We had lockers where we stored our books and coats and we never needed locks because folks did not steel from each other and that is where I put the box of candy and a note telling Redina how special she was.  I could not wait for her to find the treasure.  Again she was grateful and very nice to me even though I was younger.

Thinking back over the experience it reminds me that how we react to folks makes a big difference.   She made me feel special because she accepted my gift in spite of it being a somewhat silly act by a younger person.  Our reactions can enhance a child's confidence or hurt them for a long time.  One of the old sayings was "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".  I think that was the biggest lie ever.  Words are far more destructive than a fist fight or a few bruises.  The rejection by someone you look up to is about the most painful thing I can think of for any human.

Well today I called my mom, texted my sister, gave a card and small gift (a book) to my wife and took a few minutes to remember those who made a difference in my life.  Thanks to Redina I did not experience the rejection I probably deserved for being a naive little 9 year old boy who was star struck by a pretty little girl.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A little kindness can make a big difference
• Be a humble and kind receiver as well as a giver, it can make an impact
• If you have something to say be careful with your words

Thanks for your time and Happy Valentines Day,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Tobacco / cigarettes / Garret Sweat Snuff / Copenhagen / Cigars

  

These items all gave me challenges growing up and I just never could get the hang of it but a few times I got a little comic relief from them.

Dad smoked cigarettes every day since a young man as it was culturally the thing to do.  Even in WWII they gave each soldier cigarettes to help them relax and enjoy a minute or two of calmness.  Mom smoked too until about 1961 when the science proved smoking was bad for your health.  She chose and I emphasize CHOSE to stop that day.  No longer were there cigarettes lying in the ash trays with red lipstick on them.  For you younger folks, ash trays are little glass trays with dips on the edges so you can balance a cigarette in them while doing something else and the tray captures the ashes so they don’t get all over the place.   I know this will tick folks off but if a person chooses to smoke or drink then they are responsible for their actions, not the companies that supply them.  I am personally amazed that we have an expectation that companies are 100% liable.  We expect doctors to 100% perfect.  Are you perfect?  Is that even reasonable?  OK back to the story.  One more thing.  If we hold all the beer companies liable for beer and the convenience stores and the grocery stores and the people that work there plus all the restaurants and pubs then we will put them out of business and there won’t be any taxes paid to support the folks living off the government.  That is the definition of mixed emotions.  Now, back to the story. 

I tried cigarettes many times and I have to say even my wife tried them once when she was a kid.  Her story is better than mine because she tried them at church.  She was disgusted and put it out.  I thought surely I would like them at some point but just found them to be discusting and expensive.  Then I tried cigars which made me green and I started throwing up chunks.  Bad experience and that was at work where I wanted to be one of the boys.  Dipping snuff, Copenhagen, seemed like a good idea and I tried it on the way home from a track meet at Newkirk.  I barely made it home when chunks started flowing from my mouth right as I got off the bus.  WOW, nothing worked for me.   But here is my favorite story of my efforts and it is about chewing tobacco.

Bill Adams was the president of the company I worked for in Oklahoma City and he married way over his head when he got Barbara.  I would also have to say Bill was one of the greatest mentors I ever had and he was a delight to work for but his wife is what made him sooooo good.  Trust me.  Barbra was the ultimate hostess and she was having a party at her house for the key folks at the company, not that I was key but they had to invite me.  Anyway, in those days country and western dancing and two stepping was peaking so the theme of her party was western.  Knowing that Bill and Barbra were classy folks I decided to have a little fun at their expense and everyone else for that matter.   So on the way to the party I stopped and purchased a pack of RED Man Chewing Tobacco and placed it in my rear pocket.  Now you may not know it but when you are a country boy that pack once open folds over and you stick it in your pocket sideways so it stays exposed and in your pocket.  It is kind of like a badge of courage or like having a circle in your pocket from Copenhagen or Skool wearing a mark in your jeans.  Now if you are an original those are called Levis or Wranglers.  Anyway when I showed up I had a coke bottle for spitting in to keep from spitting on your nice floors.  If you don’t know it you take a pretty good pinch of the tobacco in your fingers and stuff it between your jaw and skin so that there looks to be a large ball in your mouth pushing out the skin on your cheek.  Now that you are visualizing this situation I have to tell you “the rest of the story”. 

As I walked around the house party Mike Major and I think even Bill took a little pinch and started chewing.  Ernie Upton was there and I think he also starting chewing and spitting in a bottle.  It got pretty funny as the women were grossed out and getting on me for starting this mess.  Well about that time I had the ladies attention and I told them that chewing was good for your stomach and what ails you if you swallow it.  So I pushed the wad out of my cheek and swallowed it.  They were squealing and Shouna was laughing herself silly.  Why?  Because I never chewed any tobacco, remember it makes me sick.  Did I mention that I also purchased a box of raisins and was actually chewing on them?  After I had everyone faked out I revealed my secret.  Only Shouna knew what I was doing.  It was a treat for me and a story for my children.  Have I ever mentioned that my children are a little, maybe a lot, ornery?

So what does this have to do with the Osage?  What do you learn in the Osage?

• ·         Your assumptions might be wrong, so get the facts, ask some questions
• ·         Sometimes it is fun to spit on someone’s parade ( a little gross)
• ·         Everyone would rather laugh as long as no one is hurt by your fun
• ·         Your choices are important

Thanks for your time,

Gary@thepioneerman.com

Ruts in the Road

Ruts in the Road

First off I better tell you that this story was inspired by Jim Whitt (old Shidler boy even though he moved to enemy territory – Tonkawa).  Jim wrote a book “Riding for the Brand” which I thoroughly recommend to any person including business folks in particular.  In fact if you are a person trying to figure out what you are doing and why you are doing it and especially if you are a farmer and rancher in the Osage you ought to read this book.  It is a must read and inspiring.  In fact it gets me all jacked up about bringing business to the Osage and in particular the Shidler area.  I know we can do it if we can get a team of folks with the same passion and dedication to making it happen. 

OK, back to my story.

Growing up one mile north and 3 west of Grainola on dirt and gravel roads had its challenges but what I never considered was what I learned from riding those roads.  Let me give you several examples.

Ruts, ruts were the places the tires dug into the road as you drove after a fresh rain.  The more you drove on them the deeper the ruts became.  As a kid driving since I was about 9 years old I learned pretty quick that if you stayed in the ruts you did not get stuck and the ruts basically guided your truck down the road, even a 9 year old could do that.  The challenge was a car might high center if the ruts got too deep.  That means the car got stuck because the dirt and gravel in the middle between the ruts was so high the tires could not get traction.  What you learned from that was pick up speed to carry you through those ruts else if you slowed down you were stuck.  The second problem is what happens when along come a vehicle from the other direction.  Did I mention ALL vehicles were Fords or Chevys except Clyde Jackson who drove Dodge vehicles?  So when you see a truck coming from the other direction you have to make some strategic decisions else you wind up in the ditch.  What you learned to do was slow down and put the left tires in the rut and everyone knows the oncoming truck has a southern courtesy to do the same in his lane.  Most roads were basically one lane so there was always a give and take even if it was dry and no ruts.   The great thing was after the roads dried up Cack Harrington (Harvey’s dad) would come along and grade the roads back to smooth.  That is another story in itself which I will do later.

Now what I like about these ruts is a person learns a lot about life from them so here goes. 

What do you learn in the Osage?

• ·         Ruts are like guidelines or rules and you ought to follow them else you get in a ditch.  HMMM?  Sounds like a pretty smart thing.
• ·         Ruts are like a grave with the ends shut.  Let me explain.  If you get in a rut in life (read the book) you are just getting ready for the ends to get closed up.  Make a difference!  Do something, even if it is wrong (but within the law).  That comes direct from Clifford Olson’s mouth
• ·         Common courtesy and common sense are learned by navigating the ruts in life.
• ·         Ruts are neither good or bad but it is what you do with them that makes a difference

Thanks for your time,

Gary@thepioneerman.com

Mr. Lambert walked on water

Sometimes a teacher comes along who is a real motivator and still a lot of fun.  I never thought I would really like to speak German but Mr. Lambert made it fun.  Almost everyday we sang a song in German.  In fact my wife and children laugh at me as I still sing a couple of those songs on occasion today, 41 years later.  One of the memorable events was Mr. Lambert taking us over to the music building where he played the saxophone for us.  His creative use of other media made learning interesting and less laborious.  For me the most memorable event was he promised he could walk on water and of course the only person to ever do that was Jesus.  Of course there was the exception of Peter who took Jesus's hand then was able to walk with Jesus on water.   You know there might be a learning lesson there about trusting in Jesus, HMMMMMM?

Well let me explain what happened.  Mr. Lambert brought several of us over to his house to prove he really could walk on water.  I saw it!  Incredible!  He had filled the bathtub with water and then proceeded to show us how he accomplished the task.  I bet you are wondering, like me, how he provided this illusion.  Mr. Lambert had built a Plexiglas box that was invisible in the water.  Being a master of deception he stepped in the water with a significant amount of animation as he carefully placed his first foot down on the water to only sink about an inch.  Then he boosted his weight and shifted such that he was able to get both feet on the water and stand erect then he took a few steps forward to show he could walk on water.  Obviously he shared his secret with us but it was pretty dog gone good.  Do I need to explain "dog gone good"?  That means very impressive.

You know there was an awful lot to learn from Mr. Lambert besides German, so here goes on "what do you learn in the Osage?".

• There are tricksters in life and there are real miracles - Each of us has to figure that out in life and put our trust where trust is deserved.
• Creative and enjoyable teaching techniques make learning fun and motivating and I can think of a lot of teachers, particularly in college, who needed more personality and less high thinking of themselves
• Holding folk's attention is easier when you make learning interesting and I truly believe that those ADD and ADHD kids are some of the best potential students a teacher can have only if the teacher decides they are an asset rather than a liability to learning.  I am not so sure Mr. Lambert wasn't one of us (ADDers or ADHDers).
• Pre-judging folks because of a disability is your disability not theirs.  Albert Einstein failed grade school math and was thought to be mentally slow when I bet you he was either autistic or ADD or ADHD but he overcame the prejudices of NORMAL folks.

I am so very grateful for Shidler and Grainola teachers who saw past my disabilities and encouraged me and motivated me.

gary@thepioneerman.com