What a name! I never knew what it meant except that my dad called me Peckerwood many times. I think he just loved me and that was how he said it. How can a name without meaning say, "I love you"? Dad just had a way with some of the simplest words. He, Clifford Woodrow Olson, took simple words and gave them meaning. It was in his tough country voice but his smile captured you and told me that he cared.
On occasion when he wanted you to know for sure he was pulling your leg he would push his tongue in the side of his jaw so that it stuck out like there was a big wad of chewing tobacco and then he would roll it around. His sense of humor was inspiring and always close by. One of my favorite sayings was when we were planting some bermuda grass seed and he made the comment, "that seed is small than nat shit". Now if that does not draw a picture for you let me explain. A nat is smaller then the head of a pin and probably about 1/4 that size so nat shit had to be smaller than that. Dad could draw a picture so clear in just a few words. I admired my dad's ability to think so quick and tell stories that just resonated with me for life.
I don't know if everything he said was original but there were some of his antics or jokes that will never leave me and I would like to leave them with you and especially my children. For example he would hold up his index finger like it were a hook and ask you, "what is this?". It was obvious it was a hook and when I answered such he would say, "no, it is a shit hook". Then he would immediately reach over and hook onto you/me which implied that a shit hook - hooks shit which would obviously mean you/me was shit. Oh get your underwear out of a wad over my use of the word shit. Another one that dad would often use was he would hold out his fist and ask, "what is this?". He would say it is a fart knocker and then immediately start knocking on your head or mine. Sure these all seem silly but there was something magnetic about Dad and his humor. Folks just liked to hear his jokes and mostly his stories.
Here are several of the small stories he told.
Dad was getting fat in his old age as he would say. He made the remark many times that he was at least 145 pounds soaking wet. That was the truth, he never weighed much over that if any.
He had a bald spot on the back side of his head about 1 and 1/2 inches long and a little over 1/8 inch wide. I asked him how that happened and he said that he smarted off to his brother who had an ax in his hand at the time. He said he never bled much but his hair never grew back in that spot.
Dad was a very close friend of Bill Olsen and Dad and Bill liked to pull tricks on folks. One time they planted something that resembled a giant spider on the stairs to scare Larry Olsen as they knew he did not like spiders. From what I understood they got in big trouble with Nanny over that one.
It was David or Bob Harris's wedding and dad stuffed his hankerchief in the exhaust pipe so the get away car would not run. If you don't understand the problem it is that when an exhaust pipe/muffler is stopped up it creates a back pressure and the car will not start. It is the same reason you don't drive a car through high water as it will choke out the engine.
Now that I think about all this I remember that there were many a man who told stories and hung around Dad. One of them was Bill Wolfe's dad who would come out to the Pumpkin Patch in Edmond at Penn and 178th which is where we lived and yes it is called Clifford Farms after my dad. Now Mr. Wolfe and Dad and really about all of the men I recall had one thing in common. They smoked cigarettes. So I think we can scientifically conclude that smoking is what causes old men to be able to tell stories. That makes about as much sense as that the government is here to help you.
Well what do you learn in the Osage?
On occasion when he wanted you to know for sure he was pulling your leg he would push his tongue in the side of his jaw so that it stuck out like there was a big wad of chewing tobacco and then he would roll it around. His sense of humor was inspiring and always close by. One of my favorite sayings was when we were planting some bermuda grass seed and he made the comment, "that seed is small than nat shit". Now if that does not draw a picture for you let me explain. A nat is smaller then the head of a pin and probably about 1/4 that size so nat shit had to be smaller than that. Dad could draw a picture so clear in just a few words. I admired my dad's ability to think so quick and tell stories that just resonated with me for life.
I don't know if everything he said was original but there were some of his antics or jokes that will never leave me and I would like to leave them with you and especially my children. For example he would hold up his index finger like it were a hook and ask you, "what is this?". It was obvious it was a hook and when I answered such he would say, "no, it is a shit hook". Then he would immediately reach over and hook onto you/me which implied that a shit hook - hooks shit which would obviously mean you/me was shit. Oh get your underwear out of a wad over my use of the word shit. Another one that dad would often use was he would hold out his fist and ask, "what is this?". He would say it is a fart knocker and then immediately start knocking on your head or mine. Sure these all seem silly but there was something magnetic about Dad and his humor. Folks just liked to hear his jokes and mostly his stories.
Here are several of the small stories he told.
Dad was getting fat in his old age as he would say. He made the remark many times that he was at least 145 pounds soaking wet. That was the truth, he never weighed much over that if any.
He had a bald spot on the back side of his head about 1 and 1/2 inches long and a little over 1/8 inch wide. I asked him how that happened and he said that he smarted off to his brother who had an ax in his hand at the time. He said he never bled much but his hair never grew back in that spot.
Dad was a very close friend of Bill Olsen and Dad and Bill liked to pull tricks on folks. One time they planted something that resembled a giant spider on the stairs to scare Larry Olsen as they knew he did not like spiders. From what I understood they got in big trouble with Nanny over that one.
It was David or Bob Harris's wedding and dad stuffed his hankerchief in the exhaust pipe so the get away car would not run. If you don't understand the problem it is that when an exhaust pipe/muffler is stopped up it creates a back pressure and the car will not start. It is the same reason you don't drive a car through high water as it will choke out the engine.
Now that I think about all this I remember that there were many a man who told stories and hung around Dad. One of them was Bill Wolfe's dad who would come out to the Pumpkin Patch in Edmond at Penn and 178th which is where we lived and yes it is called Clifford Farms after my dad. Now Mr. Wolfe and Dad and really about all of the men I recall had one thing in common. They smoked cigarettes. So I think we can scientifically conclude that smoking is what causes old men to be able to tell stories. That makes about as much sense as that the government is here to help you.
Well what do you learn in the Osage?
- Peckerwood means, "I love you"
Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com
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