Saturday, December 7, 2013

What is a rib worth?

I am hear to tell you that I have never given enough mercy to anyone who broke a rib.  I remember when dad broke his rib cutting down a tree.  We loaded up and ran to the house where mom promptly wrapped his ribs with one of those Ace Bandages.  He just told her to wrap it tight.  She tried to get him to go to the hospital but dad had "True Grit".  He was tough.  We quickly went back to cutting wood although dad was on the side lines most of the time.  Well, (pause) that brings me to the rest of the story.

Last Saturday I was up on a ladder with a chain saw cutting limbs off a large oak tree.  I knew I was safe but I did not anticipate the limb taking out the ladder.  It was only about 8 feet so it was not like I was way up high.  At the instance the ladder was being taken out I had to make some decisions.  What do you do with a chain saw that could cut you in half in about two seconds?  Push it AWAY! and then what happens happens.  The other element of science is the acceleration rate of a body falling at 32 feet per second per second.  Thud! as I hit the tree and the ground on my left shoulder.  I knew it was bad but I got up and thought it would go away soon.  I started working and over the next 10 minutes I realized it would not work, I would not work.  As I loaded into my pickup (remember pickups are not trucks unless you are selling them) and took off for the house.  By the time I got to the house I could hardly breath.  I went inside the house only to tell Shouna we had better get to the hospital.  Every bump, even turning a corner, stopping and starting the car hurt.  I have to admit my language suffered with every small element of movement.  Even Shouna asking me questions made those, really it was one word, words slip out.  But let me give you a list of the things you use your ribs for or what you don't want to do:

  1. you absolutely cannot cough
  2. No laughing
  3. I think smiling even hurt
  4. hiccups are killers
  5. getting up and down in a car, bed, couch, chair, or any movement accept sitting perfectly still
  6. you would prefer not to have to take a dump (that represents that one word that slipped out a lot during my ordeal)
  7. If you would like an intimate detail - you really don't want to have to clean yourself on the behind
  8. choking on a small piece of food that goes down the wrong pipe will make you cry real tears
  9. sleeping in your own bed is next to impossible
  10. and the list goes on
I have to tell you I had no idea how tough my dad was until this accident.  Perseverance is what made the pioneers in the Osage and I don't know how they were ever so tough.  The pioneers of the past should be revered.

What do you learn in the Osage?
  1. tough today is no where near tough in the old days
  2. Perseverance is what made Dad and Mom's generation the great generation
  3. don't climb trees with chainsaws and ladders without some safety belts
  4. Have mercy on those with broken ribs, punctured lungs and a broken toe
Thanks for listening,
Merry CHRISTMAS,
gary@thepioneerman.com

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