How to lose 20 lbs in one day? I did it!

Kenny and me on the hay wagon.. Don was driving

You have probably heard the easiest way to lose 20 ugly pounds in one day is to cut off your head but I figured that was not a good idea.  However one summer Kenny Kelsey, Don Kelsey and I did learn how to lose 20 lbs. in one day.

gambrel barn 

One hot summer day when the clouds seemed miles apart and the sun was baring down on mother earth in Osage county we were working at the Codding Cattle Research Station.  We were moving hay from one gambrel barn  to the next one which was about 100 feet apart.  I will have to tell you that Harold and Julian NEVER showed up to help.  Now if you don't know it those barns had tin or sheet metal roofs (rufs in my book) and when it was 100 degrees outside those roofs were so hot you could literally fry an egg on them.  The real blessing is that inside that barn with lots of hay which creates humidity and heat in itself.  Then you add tin roofs that are somewhere around 140 degrees and you have what most folks called a convection oven.  Now the way things worked was that Don worked on the wagon outside where there was a little air flowing and Kenny and I worked in the barns where the air was nice and still and about 140 degrees with some humidity.  This situation makes New Orleans a cake walk, if you know what I mean.

Well we would start before daylight and finish after dark every day for about a week of this paradise.  I recon that this environment was like the equator in the middle of summer, nice and toasty.  Fact is I wonder if we could have put those eggs in a piece of bread with a hole in it like the boy scouts do and make a nice sandwich?  I should try that NEXT TIME, NOT!  I have no idea how much water we drank in those few days but I guarantee you that I sweat off 20 lbs. in a day.  I know one thing and that is I never  had to go take a leak for those few days.  Do I need to explain that?  I certainly hope not.  Side note:  There was an old farmer who said, "it is better to be pissed off than pissed on".  I know it is off color but my dad use to say it so it is fair game.  If you are lucky I will tell you about how alfalfa seed is smaller than nat shit someday.  Another of my dads famous sayings.

Now here is my idea about how to generate a new business and make a killen (that is make a lot of money). I was thinking we could set this up as a new health concept to help folks lose weight and we could charge them.  Think about the marketing idea here:  Lose weight and eat and drink all you want, or LOSE WEIGHT THE OLD FASHIONED WAY AND WORK FOR IT, or we could find a farmer with two barns who wants them cleaned out during the hot summer and he would pay us for the work and we could charge the workers for losing weight!  What an AH HA moment!  I think we can get rich.

Oh well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• losing weight is a function of getting your but off the chair and moving
• Eating is not the issue unless you don't get out of the chair and do something
• Do Something even if it is wrong, you will feel better than doing nothing
• I better get started on some exercise, I need to lose about 40 lbs.!

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com