Common Sense of the Osage

I have a habit of saying "I am just a country boy" and most folks respond, "grab your hip pocket".  The other thing I like to say is, "I may be a little slow let's look for some common sense in this".

I was working on my taxes and everyone knows that in life there are only two requirements:

• you are gonna die
• you are gonna pay taxes

And one more thing you might not have heard and that is what does "THE IRS" do for you?

You should notice that "THE IRS" owns everything because if you put The and IRS together you get "THEIRS"  and that is the real meaning of the IRS.

Anyway, back to my point, I was looking at the IRS rules about itemized deductions and non-itemized deductions and they have a table for "standard deductions".   Basically every person married, single, divorced, widowed or head of household gets a basic $5,800 per individual deduction.  Now I may be slow but if everyone "who pays income tax" gets the $5,800 deduction then why have it "at all".  it is a waste of time and money to have to educate everyone and then probably pay an accountant to figure all this mess out.  By the way did I mention there are more tables for more deductions?  Why wouldn't we just make the tax paying folks pay based off of a rate table without the deductions?  Does that make sense?  One last point so you won't think I am crazy but they say it is to make it fair for those who do not itemize but my point is just lower the tax rates and get rid of all the exceptions and tables.  If you would like it I can make this seem a lot more complex and discuss 2% floor of AGI, etc. but let's keep our "common sense".

Now I know that if you are a CPA or Tax Lawyer this is probably offensive but let's get real and stop this stuff.  

So what did I learn in the Osage?

• A little common sense for politicians would not hurt
• The IRS who interprets the laws could use some common sense
• If we all used some common sense and a little forgiveness we would not need lawyers
• Don't offend a lawyer you might need one, WHOOOPPPPPPPS!

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

  

I am NEVER going to say "the good old days"

I don't know about you but I never thought I would say, "the good old days" because Mom and Dad and everyone that was 50 or older when we were young said that.  We use to make fun of how they "walked to and from school barefoot up hill both ways in the snow".

Now I want to tell you I really do like the good old days!  Today I was visiting with a friend and he was getting ready to give a speech at our "client appreciation luncheon and dinner" and he had gone back and read a speech he gave to the clients in 1994 and basically here is what it said:

• today we are experiencing earth quakes all over the world
• the weather patterns are changing
• the stock market is in a mess
• people are scared and uncertain about their financial future
• the government is spending too much
• and on and on

Well you figured it out by now, things never change, they simply have a new wrapper on them.  Just like "the good old days"  has a new wrapper on it but it is me saying what Mom and Dad always said.

The new wrapper is we drove cars with no air conditioner and only a radio that had AM and FM and when eight track tapes came in we added a black box screwed underneath the dash board and wired it ourselves.  We never locked our cars and we always had a gun in case we wanted to go hunting.  We never worried about  someone shooting someone and we left our houses unlocked.  We ate three meals a day and two of them were with everyone in the family sitting down at the same time.  The third meal was at school and we called it dinner not lunch.

You get the idea.  Those were really great times and I am looking forward to my next high school reunion.  Hopefully David Howell will be there handing out life savers.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• there are cycles to life and they are never as bad when you look back
• those hard times were the best of times
• forget the bad and remember the good
• the older you get the more you realize everyone is just as smart and just as good looking  and we are all alike but everyone just has their own abilities, strengths and weaknesses

God bless America

and

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Spanish Rice and Mexican Food/Tex Mex

Now I don't know about you but when I grew up we never had Mexican food at our house and we pretty much always ate at "our house".  In fact it was pretty unusual for us to have things all mixed up in one pile on a plate unlike Mexican food.  For example:  

• For breakfast we had eggs (no salsa - did not know of such a thing) and in fact since mom and dad did not like eggs over easy we never had that choice, the only choices were scrambled or over hard, next to the eggs was bacon or sausage and there was no choice as you got what mom made.  In fact on the eggs you got them cooked the way mom cooked them, no choice.  Toast was made from white bread in the toaster and the butter was "store bought" after we stopped having the diary.  Just for most people's information real butter is basically white and a little yellow, no color added. 

Now the next issue I have here is Guacamole!  The first time I saw the stuff I thought we had just taken the droppings from a cow eating in an alfalfa field.  Who would have ever thought of the idea?  Of course now days I do like the stuff but it still does not look good.

OK, the closest thing we ever had to Mexican food was Spanish Rice and I am bringing it up because it was actually one of my favorite foods when I was a kid in the Osage.  As my dad would say, "that is good eaten". It was the closest thing to Mexican food we ever had.

So here is my Spanish Rice recipe, thanks to Momma Opal.

Now I do have to tell you she gave me this recipe but I had to make a few changes as I think she forgot how she made it and I remember how it was so good luck.  I have to tell you mom was a great cook but did not write things down much.  She just knew what went together.

Spanish Rice from the Osage

1/2 cup salad oil

1 cup uncooked rice

3/4 lb. ground lean hamburger meat

1/2 cup chopped onion

1 clove garlic, chopped (opt. but I think mom did not use the garlic)

1 green pepper

1 1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

a little bit of chili powder to give it some kick - season to your choice

3 cup tomato juice (mom used canned whole tomatoes and it was one quart jar - home grown)

2 cup water if needed

1 tsp sugar (I don't believe for a minute mom put in sugar)

1 cup grated cheese (mom never added grated cheese)

Heat oil in heavy skillet: add rice and cook for about 10 minutes or until lightly browned, stirring constantly (now this is where we have to say the recipe is all wrong because mom boiled the water in a deep pan and added the rice and salt then let it sit for a while after it cooked);  Then in another skillet she cooked the hamburger and browned it first then added the onion, garlic (optional), salt and pepper, green bell pepper chopped onion and chili powder; after it cooked a bit she added the quart of tomatoes with the juice;  let that simmer for about 15 minutes and add to the rice; add more water if needed. add sugar and cheese if you think it helps. Leave the lid off the pot and let it simmer until no longer watery.  That should about do it and good luck if you try it.  Let me know how it goes.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Great cooks don't always tell the truth about their recipes
• Eat Beef and live long
• Be careful eating when you see a pile of green stuff especially if you are in an alfalfa field
• If you drop your gum while gathering eggs be careful when you pick it up and put it back in your mouth
• Mexican food basically means you pile everything together and mix it up then put it on a thin piece of rolled corn meal that is fried a little
• If you work hard physically it overcomes a lot of illnesses but most of all it just makes you feel better about everything
• don't expect a free ride - give one and have a great day

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Toilet lids and marriage

After all these years I get it!

When people get married there are several issues that have to be worked out:

• toilet lids - up or down
• toothpaste - rolled or squeezed
• toilet paper - rolls off the front or back

Now let's address all these issues one by one.  First the toilet lid, women seem to want it down and men want it up but the woman always wins so it goes down else you don't eat if you are one of those folks who eat healthy and eat at home where the woman typically does the cooking.  I know there are exceptions and everyone has an opinion but here goes the real decision.

From a man's perspective you put the lid up so nothing gets on the lid where you sit.  This seems to make common since but marital bliss is important and we put the lid down.  Now what brought this to a head is we got some new folks at the office and at the office the lid goes down even in the men's restroom, probably due to potty training at home.  Well evidently either one of the new folks is not married, newly married or of a persuasion where two men live in one house and thus a lack of training.  Someone PEEEEEEEed on the lid!!!!!!  That is precisely why the lid should go up.  Now for the good news, I finally figured out why the lid goes down and there is some logic which is not obvious.  I was talking to a pregnant woman and she was really angry at her husband who was not adequately trained UNTIL that night.  You see what happened was she got up during the night to tinkle (a nice word for take a leak) and the lid was up and she sat down, all the way down and into the water.  Her husband got trained on the spot and she yelled really loud.  Finally it makes since, PUT THE LID DOWN.

Toothpaste is the next problem.  You will notice that I am willing to address all kinds of marital issues straight up and that is because I have seen too many unhappy and divorced folks who made great couples until something stupid got between them.  Ok, back to toothpaste.  By the way did you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?  It is obvious, if it were invented anywhere else it would have been called TEETHPASTE.

To squeeze or not to squeeze is the question.  Right here is the secret of life and what a person should do for a living and here are a few examples:

• You should be an accountant because Obviously accountants should roll up their toothpaste tube else they are not a good accountant as they are not particular enough (some folks call this anal).
• You are destined to be a lawyer if you loved to squeeze because you squeeze money out of folks for ridiculous reasons and I am prepared to give examples.  However there are exceptions, everyone knows that lawyers represent both sides and therefore go both ways.  Go figure and a double standard.
• Cowboys and farmers squeeze because they have things to do and can't waste time as they have to get their barns and tack in order.  Oh ya, and they have to clean their pickups.

Enough on toothpaste but I squeeze until I get to the end then I roll and fold to get the last little bit.  I guess I am a tight wad.

Toilet Paper and wives just have something in common and I am not sure if I really get it but here are the issues.  If you roll off the front it is easier to get access and you don't have to SPIN it to figure out where it starts thus saving paper.  If you roll off the back (wife prefers) they think it looks better.  But the real issue is CATS.  If you have cats in the house and you roll it off the front the cat will unroll the entire roll.  In fact kids do that to and then stop up the toilet which for some reason always goes to the dad to fix.  If you roll it off the back the cats and the kids don't waste as much paper and there are not as many stopped up toilets.  This is good for both husband and wife.

I should be a marriage counselor.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• do what your mother wants if you want to eat
• if you are married and still there, do what your wife wants and you can have dinner
• If you want a divorce - leave the lid down and PEE all over it

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Friday night lights and The Shidler Cafe -

Friday Night Lights has nothing on us!

The buzz of Friday was wonderful and it started early with just getting ready for school by wearing football jerseys and the girls wearing cheer outfits and then the general anticipation of the band playing and folks gathering around the stadium.  It was fun with cars parked all around the field filled up with family, friends, neighbors and everyone was happy to be there.  NO cell phones or electronic games to keep you away.

Friday's were filled with anticipation and I had so much nervous energy that it almost made me sick at the stomach.  But now that I think about it the stomach problem might be created by my eating a chicken friend steak every Friday at the Shidler Cafe with cream gravy and Heinz 57 sauce and french fries.  Now that was good eat'en!

 And now that I have mentioned the cafe let me recall one of my favorite stories.  I believe it was Steve Chrisco, AJ and Dave Jacques and myself at the cafe one day and I was sitting in one of the booths when Henry and Ester Vaden were probably about 90 years old and Henry was almost blind.  He was walking in the cafe and looking for Ester when he got real close to my face and said, "is that you Ester?".  That put everyone into a full laughter and I of course respectfully answered, "nope, I am not Ester".  The Vaden's were part of the culture driving to town every day to eat and their hired helper (don't recall his name) would lead the way warning folks they were coming.  Now if you don't know, the challenge was they drove about 20 miles per hour all the time or slower and it did not matter what everyone else was doing.  They had a 52 step side Ford (I think it was a ford)  that was green and when they finally purchased a new one in about 1970 they ordered another step side Ford with nothing on it like power steering, radio, air conditioning, or power windows.  They wanted it just like the old one and that is what they got.  Very nice folks and a great part of our culture.

Another thing about the cafe that I fondly remember is David Howell, one of the smartest and fun guys in our class and a dry sense of humor, would be at the cafe handing out Life Savers for everyone as long as it was not cherry.  You see David got the cherry ones.  In fact he handed those things out to everyone everywhere as long as it was not a cherry Life Saver.  David was friendly to everyone and seemed to be especially favored by the older folks who needed things fixed as David was always willing and able to fix/repair anything.  I guess I am going to have to write some stories about David as he has provided me with some great memories, a lot like Johnny Payne.

Well back to the Shidler Tigers and Friday nights.  Remember every week there was a competition for the spirit stick which was a dowel rod painted gold with blue ribbon wrapped around it like a candy cane?  And one year or multiple years someone came up with the idea of a spirit jug.  Every Friday we would have a pep rally with the band playing in the old gymnasium and the girls would cheer and everyone would get all pumped up for the game.

By the time the game was to start I think I could bite through steel.  It always took a few plays for me to get over that nervous energy.  Football was my favorite sport even though I was really too slow a runner.  I loved the team, the energy of the school and our town.  Dear old Shidler High!

What do you learn in the Osage?

• A tight nit community respects other folks property and respects people in general
• Knowing your neighbor at least by face and sharing experiences creates a moral fiber that binds us together forever
• Football would not be fun if it were not for everyone involved and I am grateful for the band members who never got their due reward and recognition and the cheer leaders and pep squad who worked hard, cheer leaders who lead the crowds and the fans who yelled and honked the horns

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Vea Harris - a Little Lady with Grit

Vea Harris and me

Tomorrow we celebrate Vea Harris's life and I just want to reflect on that life.  Here was a lady who had a passion for kids (always working with the youth at church), flowers (always working in the garden), antiques (did you ever see the shed), the Bible and Jesus and just visiting with her friends.

Obviously she has five kids Norma, David, Bob, Janis and Eddy.  My stories about Eddy and I and our adventures are endless but what you may or may not know is how great Vea was and how she encouraged us.  Vea gave us her time, her laughter, many meals, a place to rest and friendship and for that I am grateful.

What I remember most is that she never yelled too much at us and she never spanked us, both of which I cannot say about David!  Yes, he yelled at Eddy and I and we were absolutely innocent and he even spanked us once with a two by four and it had bent nails in it.  There might be a little stretch of truth here.

 I use to always think David was mean but he turned out to be a good friend and I would say Jan made him a better person. Norma grew up and was gone before Eddy and I ever got in trouble so I cannot speak to if she would have gotten after us.  Bob laughed at us a lot and was probably in trouble himself.  But Janis, now she was just an ornery as we were and some day we will have to tell stories on her.

Now I did say Eddy and I were innocent but one thing I should probably admit to since Vea has gone on to be with Jesus and maybe she could put in a good word for Eddy and me.  Anyway, one day Eddy and I were doing some investigative work at their place and we caught this one cat that Eddy did not like.  Now before I go on I have to tell you this is graphic and offensive and at least I felt really bad about it so if you love cats, are a member of PETA or in law enforcement you need not read on.  And in fact most folks should just stop right here.

Well Eddy thought we should get rid of this cat and we thought it would be best if there were no evidence.  We did consider dynamite but thought that might attract attention even if we were a mile from anyone.  We also considered guns but who was going to hold on to that cat.  The cat did not like Eddy and I sure did not want to hold on to it while Eddy unloaded a few rounds on it.  But being about eight years old we thought it best if we tied it to a rope and then the rope was attached to a rock.  Anyway I have asked for forgiveness for this and NEVER told Vea but I guess she is sitting up there with Jesus right now and visiting with Him so maybe she is not watching.  Well, anyway, we teamed up and threw the rock into the pond across the road from the house.  By the way if you try this don't be the person holding the cat as cats will hold on to you with their claws and it hurts badly.  So Vea if you are listening please forgive me and did I mention that we discovered later it was the wrong cat.

The strange thing is I loved cats and had 23 of the critters.  The only two people I know who ever came close to that was Vea Harris and Jack and Deanie Heath (Jimmy's Dad and Mom) and I would say the Heath family had more cats than that.  OK, I confessed my sin, so get over it.

Back to Vea.  She was my Sunday School teacher at the Methodist Church and she allowed Eddy and I to be boys.  She encouraged us and loved us through tough times and bad but mainly she laughed at our creative minds which just encouraged us more.  She doctored our wounds like the time I wrapped the bull whip around my neck.  She taught us many lesson in life like when she explained to us that planting our trucks in the garden did not grow more trucks.  You may recall we took all of her candy and planted it as well.  But she never spanked us and she might have raised her voice a little but it was not bad.  She allowed us to play with guns and real dynamite although I suspect she really never knew about the dynamite.  When we told her about turning over the out-house at Dales Feed Seed and Fertilizer Store she laughed and when we told her about taking all of Don Casselman's fire wood and putting it in the road she laughed.  And one year we took high line poles and put them in the road around the Grainola School so no one could get to school or at least it would start late, she laughed.   Then one year we took chain saws and cut down a few small trees and dragged them into the streets to stop the flow of the ONLY schoolbus at Grainola, she laughed.  What the heck I might as well keep going.  Eddy and I went duck hunting with a 30-30 and wasted a box of shells getting one duck, she laughed.  We went coon hunting with a chain saw, she laughed.

Vea of course laughed.  She was a wonderful encouragement to us and she cooked for us and loved us no matter what we did.

So I should stop but THANK YOU VEA for a wonderful life and a great example.

What do you learn from the Osage?

• It's a dynamite of a place to live
• The heart is bigger than the person especially when it came to Vea
• Vea gave more than she got because she never measured life by STUFF .. do I need to explain?

Thanks for your time,Vea.

gary@thepioneerman.com

My Momma's Sweet Pickles - Sweet Lime Pickles

I promised the recipe for Sweet Pickles by Opal Olson

Lime Sweet Pickles

Slice – 9lbs cucumbers (prefer medium to small in size)

Dissolve – 2 cups lime in 2 gallons water

                Soak cucumbers for 24 hours

Wash well – and let stand in ice water for 4 hours

Make a syrup of 2 quart vinegar – 4.5 lbs. sugar and

1 teaspoon pickle spice

1 teaspoon celery seed

1 whole clove and 1 tablespoon salt

Let cucumbers soak overnight in the syrup

Lift pickles out and bring syrup to boil

Add pickles and simmer 40 minutes

Pack in jars and save

Now there is a few requirements:

• first you must save some for me and preferably one jar small or large
• second if they are not fit to eat don't save me any pickles 
• three - if they are great then you have to make more and we need to start a business selling Grainola or Shidler pickles ....

So what do you learn from the Osage?

• free enterprise and opportunity are what you make, even if it is pickles
• if you teach a person to make pickles they can make a living but if you give them pickles they can only eat for a day
• pickles make bologna taste good, go figure  ( I need to tell you my bologna story)

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

I shot a Hawk

Russell Whiles shares with us the following story:

Gary, I was reading back through some of your older stories, and came across the one where you told of accidentally shooting the beautiful cardinal. I can relate to that kind of circumstance precisely! So, if I tell my story, it will be sort of like Misery Loves Company...maybe just confessing makes the heart a bit lighter.

One of the cool guns my dad let me use was an old .22 Remington Model 12 pump action, with an octagon barrel. I still have it, and use it regularly. It has a tiny little scope, and is sighted in the same as it always has been. As a kid, I was busting black walnuts out of the tree at the far north end of camp 32.

Most of us grew up knowing that it was not cool to shoot the big raptors...hawks, eagles, and the like. However, one of those "impossible" shots presented itself to me, and I was confident enough that the shot couldn't be done, could not possibly connect, and I fired! The hawk was perched on a utility pole FAR out in the pasture, northwest of our house, probably 300 yards (just guessing). My cross-hairs centered way high, above the hawk, and the rifle cracked as I squeezed the trigger. There was a moment of pause, and relief, as the hawk left it's perch, soared kind of in a spiral way high up in the sky, and then it dropped like a rock!

My stomach turned, panic set in, and I think it was a youthful cardiac event! Somehow, I survived it. Boy, you talk about remorse and feeling bad! Well, I learned a little more about what guns are capable of. As kids, we enjoyed a LOT of exhilarating shooting events, mostly with our dads, but a few on our own. One of my good memories was trap-shooting with the adults...at about twelve years old. Throwing singles, I broke ten clay pigeons in a row, and was on Cloud Nine, there among the big guys!

I mentioned black walnuts earlier. Mostly, harvesting black walnuts and getting to the "meats" inside is quite a tedious and messy thing. Folks have tried many approaches. I can recall picking up the walnuts after they drop and bringing home brown paper bags full, then spreading them on the gravel drive way. Driving over them for several days loosens and crushes the soft hulls, which will stain the skin if one should handle them without gloves. Cracking the HARD shells...we did it by hitting the walnut with a hammer on a brick down inside a paper bag, to contain the shrapnel! And then the FUN begins. Picking out the meats from the nooks and crannies...remember the sharp little Picks with the crooked end? That's the tedious part, but OH, the rewards! Walnuts in homemade ice cream, fresh warm banana bread...that's what it's all about!

Now what do you learn in the Osage?

• Walnuts are like life - it takes a lot of work but that is what makes it so rewarding and you may get stained a little or a lot on the journey
•  Boys are different than girls - have you ever heard of a girl doing something stupid like shooting at a hawk or red bird?
• Life lessons can be tragic (like the hawk) but if you never have an opportunity to learn by experience you are like a congressman who never ran a business trying to pass laws WITHOUT HURTING FREE ENTERPRISE  - and yes this is a political opinion
• If you have an opinion about politics and what is going on do something, write, call, email your representative else the only people they hear from are the extremes and those who have lobbyist.

This is what is GREAT about America and folks from the Osage are several notches above the best.  And yes we are a proud bunch.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Orange Slices in the Osage

Orange slices in the Osage

Now I don’t know about you but one thing I never liked was Orange Slices not to be confused with Osage Oranges.  You do know what that is?  It is the old hedge apples planted about everywhere during the dust bowl days to save the soil from blowing.  Back to those Orange Slices. 

Every Christmas when the Methodist Church had the Christmas program and at the end of the program Santa Claus would come and hand out a brown paper bag filled with STUFF.  That STUFF was typically and apple or orange, some hard candy (typically made in Dexter, Kansas across the state line), some chocolate drops (basically some type of cooked sugar center with chocolate around it, Dad called them something I cannot bring myself to write), and last of all Orange Slices.  I just hoped I did not get that bag with Orange Slices.  Mom loves those dang things and she would take all the Orange Slices she could get.  Sometimes Mom (Opal) would buy a bag of Orange Slices for the family as a treat.  It was not a treat to me.

On top of all that Mom made “Orange Slice Cookies” and still does today.  Now I will have to tell you my mom was one of the best cooks you could find but there is one thing I did not like back then and still do not have a taste for today, Orange Slices.  So here is something special for those who like Orange Slices:

Orange Slice Cookies

1 ½ cup brown sugar

½ cup Crisco (we need to talk about Crisco)

2 eggs

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon soda

½ cup minute oats

½ teaspoon salt

1 lb. orange slice candy cut up into small pieces

½ cup flour

½ cup chopped nuts (everything goes better with nuts)

½ cup coconut

Cream Sugar and Crisco then add eggs and beat until light

Add 2 cups flour soda and salt

Blend

Dice candy mix ½ cup flour

Stir in coconut, nuts and oats

Roll in balls-press with fork

Bake on greased cookie sheet

Bake 325 degrees 10 to 12 minutes

And that is direct from the horse’s mouth, Opal Olson.  She likes these disgusting morsels and obviously I think they are right there with celery and liver.

So what do you learn from the Osage?

·         Orange Slices are disgusting

·         Love your mom and her cooking and don’t criticize her favorite cookies

·         Dogs don’t eat Orange Slices

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

                

Home on the Range: Snapping Beans

Home on the Range: Snapping Beans: "One of the things I learned to enjoy long after I had the experience was sitting under the shade tree in the back yard snapping green beans ..."

Snapping Beans

One of the things I learned to enjoy long after I had the experience was sitting under the shade tree in the back yard snapping green beans and shelling black eyed peas or preparing the rhubarb for a home made rhubarb pie.  

In our back yard was one of the biggest elm trees you could ever find.  It was so large you could not put your arms around it and the branches were so big that they covered the entire back of the house with shade and then hung over to the north side of the house about another ten feet.  On top of that with some help from my trusted pal, Eddy Harris, I had one of the largest tree houses you can imagine.  I bet you could have at least six people sitting down in it at one time.  That tree offered the coolest shade and I mean temperature wise.  Dee Johnson lives in that house now and I hope he is still taking care of that elm tree and enjoying the shade.

Anyway during the summer months our garden put off more green beans than the entire town could eat but we had to put them up for the winter.  "Putting them up" means to "can them" or to preserve them for the winter.  In the early years before "freezer bags" we put them in Ball jars and used a pressure cooker to heat the beans and liquid in the jar until the contents were hot enough to drive out the air and as the contents cooled a vacuum would be created and the lid would seal on the jar. 

Just as a side note many folks criticized us for not being environmentally friendly back then but we did not sit in the air conditioned house because we did not have an air conditioner and we recycled those jars every year and we never froze our vegetables which took electricity made with coal.  

Back to canning:  I always enjoyed watching and helping during this process and when you heard the lids pop you knew the seal was good on each jar.  After a few days we would take all the jars to the cellar (remember from earlier stories about the hole in the ground where we hid during tornadoes) and put them on the shelves until winter when we would take them out and mom would cook them for lunch or dinner (supper where we came from was dinner and dinner was lunch).  I don't know why I ever changed but it annoyed me when I moved to Chicago and folks would give me a hard time about that.  As long as we are getting out my suppressed feelings let me tell you that PICKUPS are not trucks (refer to an earlier story).

Now back to the process leading up to the canning of those beans.  The first thing that happened prior to breakfast or immediately after everyone would go to the garden to pick anything that was ripe for harvest.  Oh and I should mention that a garden was NOT a tiny little patch of vegetables but easily 1/2 an acre to 2 depending on what dad felt like doing that year.  Generally during the summer the only thing still producing was tomatoes and green beans and of course rhubarb and probably corn.  On those green beans, we would have five gallon buckets full and everyone would sit in lawn chairs or folding chairs under the tree and proceed to process the beans.  What that meant was you snapped off both ends of the bean and then stripped from the seam of the green bean what was stringy if the bean was a little too ripe and then you would break the beans into pieces about 1.5 inches long.  I am not sure why 1.5 inches was the right length but for the most part that is what our instructions were from mom.  The amazing thing to me was that dad and mom could out snap everyone else put together.  They were fast and in fact I thought I was pretty good as I learned how to snap beans in both hands at the same time.  It was work and I hated it for the most part but now that I look back I remember talking and drinking iced tea and generally having a great time with the family.  We all worked together getting ready for winter.

What did I learn from the Osage:

•  The best times were family times with no TV
• Work was really an opportunity to spend time together with a common goal
• Spending time together is where we learned our values by hearing stories from our parents about their parents and how they grew up
• I would not trade ONE TV show or one time with friends for the memories of working together with my folks

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Reunions - What are they about?

Last Sunday was delightful as some of the old time folks got together:  Sally (Shumate) Stinchcomb, Debbie (Olson) Schaefer, Larry Olson and Bill Snyder (son of Aunt Gladys) plus a plethora of other folks, mainly family, including the young, Opal Olson (her birthday is July 19th and she says she is 37).

Since I brought up her age I would like to remind you Larry, her oldest son, is 61 and Debbie, her only daughter, is 59 and her favorite son, me, is 58.  So you go figure out how she can be 37.

As a side note and major update, Sally and Darrell are recovering from the tornado damage.  Just last Friday they hauled off 20 loads of debris.  Can you explain to me why we don't spell debris - debree?  Anyway, there is still a bunch of stuff to haul off and that did not include the trees which are piled high all over the place.  And another note which I got from Darrell that just gets me POed (Put Out) is that Darrell was talking to FEMA and they basically don't do anything for his family because Darrell and Sally were responsible enough to purchase insurance.  If they did not have insurance and filled out all the paperwork and qualified financially they could get a loan from the tax payers at 6% interest but if they did not have insurance and did not qualify they could get a loan from the tax payers (the government) for 4% interest.  Now the way Darrell tells it and I agree is that if you are not responsible enough to purchase insurance and not good at your finances so that you do not qualify financially due to bad credit you can get a subsidized loan from the government.  Kind of reminds me of Robin Hood, steel from the middle class and give to the poor.  Notice I did not say the rich.  WOW, no wonder we have so much problems.

Well again back to the story.  It was a delight to see Larry (newly retired) along with Sally (newly retired) and Bill (newly retired) and Mom (not so newly retired) all in one location.  Debbie and I were the only ones not retired not to include the other younger relatives.  We sat around eating too much and telling stories all day.  That is what you do at reunions, tell stories.  The good and bad of that is you find that what you thought was the story was wrong.  For example: Sally was riding a horse and someone threw a fire cracker under the horse which got spooked.  Sally blamed it on me and of course I was innocent but Bill admitted that it was probably him.  Another story that was different, depending on who was telling it, was about Paul Kelly and Paul Jones working for the Mullendors and all of us hauling hay.  As it turned out there were a lot more people who went to high school with all of us that worked on those hay crews and worked for one of the two Pauls.  I really did not remember that Paul Kelly was one of the managers at the ranch but I read the book and Paul was mentioned and Bill Snyder told how Paul Jones scarred him to death flying him to one of the fields only to intentionally put the plane in a power stall and then just as the rocks started getting really large got the plane started and pulled out before hitting the ground.  Now you may not believe it but I am confident that Paul liked scarring people as he did the same thing to me.  Paul Jones has ADHD times two would be my medical opinion which I am not qualified to give but he was a heck of a lot of fun to work with.

Just one side note on Paul Jones.  I remember him having what I think was a Bronco pickup that he souped up the engine and it went over 136 miles an hour.  The reason  I remember that is, it was told, that a Highway Patrolman was clocking it between Pawhuska and Shidler and he verified the speed.  Weren't those days great!

Does anyone recall Johnny Payne outrunning a cop?  Surely not?

So what do you learn from the Osage:

• People and friendships are forever
• What we remember is the good and as we get older we make it gooder (yes that is a word)
• We don't need the government to bail out everyone who does not take responsibility
• But there are those who do need help and as a personal citizen with free choice let's always help our neighbor rebuild - do the right thing because it is the right thing to do
• Get together often and let's see everyone at the reunion Sept 30 and Oct 1 this year

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Dog Days of Summer in the Osage

Believe it or not there were advantages to having hot days of summer in the Osage particularly when you were younger and not old enough to haul hay.  Now what I mean by that is there was never a break from hauling hay when you worked for Don Kelsey as we hauled every day 7 days a week unless it rained and it better be enough to make the fields muddy and the hay wet.  I do remember that during those extremely hot times working in the sun WITHOUT A SHIRT and WITHOUT SUN SCREEN a cloud in the sky was a gift from God.  If you worked in the fields you know what I mean because you watched the sky closely and hoped for the cloud to come in front of the sun and block the burning heat.

OK, back to the advantages of a hot summer. 

• First off:  things slowed down because the hay did not need cutting as often
• Second:  the cows would lay around looking for shade because they did not want to work either and in fact they would hang around the pond or creeks.  It was not uncommon for the cows to stand out in the pond with  water up to their bellies so they could stay cool.
• Third:  Even Dad and Mom would slow down which meant that I could which would allow me to go to the creek!  Aha moment!  Yes, time to go fishing.
• Fourth:  Even the muddiest of ponds was great to swim in except for the occasional water moccasin and a few turtles (not to be confused with chocolate turtles which I love)
• Fifth:  I would slip off to Beaver Creek behind the house and find the shallow running water and just lay in it.  The perch would come up and nibble on my toes but I did not care.  I always said we never had air conditioning but I guess we did, a water cooler in the creek.
• Sixth:  As we got older baseball games and the Dixie Dog were favorites and again it was totally a function of Mom and Dad slowing down due to the heat.
• Seventh:  Ice Cream makers
• Eighth:  Remember when Nestea came out and you could have iced tea during those hot days in an instant.  Instant Nestea was a much better invention than the microwave.
• Ninth:  Did you ever lay underneath the truck bed and take a nap especially when there was a slight breeze that cooled the sweat on your body?

I know there are more but that summer heat could ware you down but the greatest thing was what you learned from the Osage:

• Enjoy everything even a few seconds from a refreshing cloud
• Be thankful for those few moments in summer where you can get away and relax and rejuvenate
• Get it done, work like crazy, then smell the roses (that means relax and have an iced tea)
• It is much easier to appreciate what you have if you work for what you got

Thanks for your time,
garythepioneerman.com