If I had a Hammer, I'd hammer in the morning

Aunt Gladys Snyder, niece to Snyd and Geneva

 Today, 9/01/2020, I am in Bennett Springs watching it rain but in my head is that old song "If I had a Hammer"  it brings back good old memories.

My dad, Cliff Olson, always said a kid could have all the fun they wanted with a hammer and a bucket of old used nails.  Many a time we tore down an old house or barn and we would collect the wood for building and the nails for whatever.  Our biggest project was when I was about 7 and we built our house down on Beaver Creek, 1 mile north of Grainola and 3 west past Vea Harris house.  In fact before you got to Vea's house you passed Jim Olsen's hay barn that dad and I built and Perry Stephens barn which dad and I built (with some help).  Back to the wood and nails.  

I always wondered when we tore down an old house, what memories would be gone.  Right here is where I should challenge you to write down all your old memories for your children and grandchildren.  Every time we tore down an old house I learned something or found something interesting.  One time we tore down an old house just to discover they had built the house  with plaster and wood laths, no insulation.  Can you imagine how cold that would be?  They typically had an old wood stove or as we called it, a pot bellied stove.  Uncle Snyd (the WWII hero and prisoner of war) and Aunt Geneva (my first-first grade teacher, there were two as Aunt Geneva had a brain tumor and passed) had one and they burned coal.  Another time I remember finding some old coins inside a wall.  I have no idea how they got there but there was an old nickel.  Most often the old houses did not have an indoor toilet.  Grandpa Olson had indoor twin toilets.  I should explain.

Grandpa Olson, who lived about 100 yards south of Jackson's gas station where we would get our strawberry pop and cinnamon rolls on Saturdays, had a pot bellied stove but he had the twin indoor toilets.  In fact I suspect this is where they got the name water closet.  You see in Grandpa and Grandma's bedroom in what we would think was a closet was a seat with two holes in it big enough for your rear-end.  Under the holes were two white porcelain buckets about 2 or 3 gallons each.  They were called slop buckets and that was where the waste went as you sat on the indoor toilet.  Now do I need to explain further?  OK, in plain English, those two buckets captured the poop and pea to be carried off each day.

Eureka, that was called indoor plumbing.

About those nails and boards.  Many a time I would take some of the scrap boards and those bucket of nails and make something.  I had one of the largest tree houses in the old elm tree right outside my widow made from those boards and nails.  I made airplanes and trucks and whatever I could think of.

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Fun is what you make it
• A song can last your life through
• A dream can be reality if you put your mind to it

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

9/1/2020

Damn Building with Eddie Harris

 Eddie and me.. what year, heck if I know.

Not to be offensive and just for clarification, we are not cursing a building here.  In fact Eddie and I were wondering up and down the creek (small river with running water) and we decided to build a dam.  Now The Damn Building was not Eddie and me but was what David Harris called our efforts.  How do you spell ooppppsssss?  I guess I just told on David but we were probably around 12 years old and needing something to do and we were structural engineers at an early age.  Actually long before Dave got involved (Dave is short for David so I did not make a mistake) Eddie and I proceeded to gather up every rock we could find and some logs and proceeded to DAM up the creek.  Eureka, it worked.  

Vea and me at her back yard.  (right behind us is where the garden use to be)

The only problem is Dave had some cows down stream from our dam and he did not like that we cut off the running water supply.  Now the way I figured it, that as soon as the water filled up our newly created lake (that might be a stretch since it was about 12 feet wide and about one to two foot tall) there would be running water again.  Doesn't that make sense?  Well, Dave did not think so and when he figured it out he came and broke the dam and that was a DAMN shame as it was a structural success.  

Not to get too mature audience rated we will stop there but it seemed that every time Eddie and I were trying to have a little creative fun, Dave or Bob (Dave's brother) got involved.  Luckily Vea (their mom) had a better sense of humor and generally was supportive of our efforts.  Except the one time Eddie and I took all the mints and peanuts that were for the Home Demonstration Club party at Vea's house.  For those who don't remember, the Home Demonstration Club is where all the farm women would get together to talk about their husbands or their wonderful children, like Eddie and me.  Anyway, as you may know from previous stories, Eddie and I went to the garden and planted the mints and salted peanuts so we could have more later.  One time we planted a bunch of our toy trucks in the garden so we could grow more.  We were not popular for that either.   Oh well, shrug shrug.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• If you don't plant good seed you won't grow anything
• If you don't try you will miss all the HOPE in life, NEVER GIVE UP
• Be an optimist, there might be a truck in there somewhere
• Give a kid a break as long as they are trying to do something good even if it lacks a little bit of knowledge, after all, wisdom comes from experience

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

credit cards-- what happened to good old cash? 08 27 2020

Just FYI, Mom is the lady on the far right.  This pic is of her classmates reunion. 

I remember the first time my mom, Opal Olson, used a credit card.  In fact I remember the first time she needed one and we did not have one.  We were coming home from Winfield, KS after a doctor appointment (Dr. Cecil Snyder) and when we were about to Dexter, KS we realized we needed gas.  I should mention that Dexter is where they made candy canes and the O'Henry Bar was invented by the man who made the candy canes.  If you remember that hard candy we got at Christmas each year that had a Christmas tree or other design inside, that was from the same place.  Anyway, mom did not have much money with her and we had a farm tank at home where gas was cheaper as we bought in bulk.  Gas at the time was 11 cents a gallon in Dexter due to a gas war (who even knows what a gas war is?).  Mom wanted 25 cents worth of gas put in the pickup.  She gave me a quarter and told me to pump the gas, actually back then they pumped the gas for you.  I was embarrassed and did not want to do that, but I was not allowed a choice.  

Now for the credit card.  Mom and Dad and I went to Weatherford, OK to visit the college where I ultimately did attend and on the way back we stopped by Binger, OK (home of Johnny Bench, the great Cincinnati Reds catcher)  to visit some friends (my girlfriend at the time and her dad).  They filled up their gas tank and mom popped out her credit card which was declined.  She had it for a few years but had never used it.  With a phone call it went through but it was another of those embarrassing moments.  I don't know why I got embarrassed so easily but I did.  Can you imagine?  It was 1971 and it was the first time my mother had used a credit card?  

😊😊When was the last time you used cash?  Yesterday I tried to use cash and they told me they could not take it!  Are you kidding me?  Credit cards add about 2 to 3% additional expense for every item.  Do you ever wonder how we got in this situation?  Actually I know a little of how it happened.  Visa and Mastercard and probably all the other card issuing companies make the merchants/businesses sign agreements that they can not mark-up or charge extra for the added expense, therefore, they had to add it to the cost of the goods.  Strangely enough the government entities, like the tag agencies, do not follow those rules.  They have an up-charge for using a credit card.

Well, this is just another one of those moments in life we learn from.  I wonder why it would be legal for ALL credit card companies to limit the ability to charge extra, huummmmm?  If the two major card companies did the same thing, would you think they are monopolizing commerce?  Just thinking out loud, please forgive me.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Gas wars have nothing to do with Iran, Iraq, or Saudi Arabia.
• A little embarrassment can make a kid grow up just a little.
• Adversity is good for people if you learn from it

Thaks for listening,

Gary 

gary@thepioneerman.com

Hornets and wasp and mission impossible

I would say that sometimes a country boy can find something to do no matter the situation.  I use to love going out to the barns and finding wasp nests and the bigger the better.  Generally those nests were at the highest part of the barn and that was probably over 20 feet in the air.  I would say that some of those nests had over 100 wasps.  So what does a country boy do, he figures a way to disturb those nests and kill a few wasp.  The objective is to kill them before you get stung and sometimes things just go wrong.  

Now there are a number of ways of going about this mission.  For one, you can take a sprayer (the old fashion metal cans which are heavy) and get it pumped up as much as possible and fill it with diesel fuel (we did not have all these insecticides and wasp traps).  The good thing about this approach is you typically can run away more easily and the probability of getting stung is much less.  Now that I think about it, I guess I was pretty good at statistics at an early age, hummm?  Did you get it?  The second approach, is to climb up on the hay to get closer to the nest and still carrying the sprayer of diesel fuel.  This was pretty accurate and the good thing is you could be much more secure in getting most of the wasp on the first shot.  The bad side is you had to jump and run which gave them the advantage.  The third approach which I do not recommend and for sure don't try it when the folks are around, is take your 22 rifle and shoot them.  The good side is that you can be a long way away but the bad side is you are most likely going to put a hole in the tin roof.  Now I am not saying I did the third approach but I am just saying..... ? 

My results:  I killed a million wasp in my youth and did not mind getting stung a few times.  It was worth the excitement.

Yesterday, 8/24/2020 I was standing in my backyard visiting with Archie who was repairing my garage door springs or at least he had completed the repairs and was standing near some hidden wasp nest.  They came from behind him and he said one of those words you are not supposed to say, especially as a kid, when he got stung.  He took off and the swarm came after me!  What did I do?  I was innocent but I got hammered.  Mostly the stings just hurt but one was on my cheek bone (not my bottom cheek but my face cheek for you thoughtless folks).  It started swelling up and it burned and so did the other bites but the one on the face worried me.  I ran inside and took some good old Benadryl to stop the reaction.  

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Statistics long before the classroom
• what heebeegees mean, go figure
• How to create fun
•  Everything has consequences, some good and some bad, but I am responsible for my actions not someone else

Well, thanks for listening,

Gary Olson

gary@thepioneerman.com

It's Friday and Sunday is Coming -- warning PG 13 or worse

I once heard a song titled "It's Friday and Sunday is Coming" and I thought it was one of the best ever.  I got to thinking, if the disciples knew what was going to happen Sunday and believed it, would things have been different?  We will never know but one thing is certain, He died on Friday and He arose on Sunday. 

Why is it so easy to believe George Washington crossed the Delaware or Ronald Reagan was an actor turned President of the United States but so many don't believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ when there are thousands of non-Christian documents about the life of Christ and in fact more writings about Christ than any other person in history? 

Well, I was one of those who was not sure either until during college a guy named Norman Voss who made me mad because he said I had to belong to the Church of Christ to be a Christian.  And there was another person, Paula Neal, who frustrated me to death because she thought I was not a believer.  Well, God works in mysterious ways.  I got mad enough that I decided I needed to know weather I believed in God because my parents were Methodist or if there was enough evidence supporting the life of Christ. 

What I found out was that I believed in God and always did but so did the devil and so did a lot of very bad folks and even more very good folks.  So, I found out that believing is not enough.  I also found out there were volumes of books about the life of Christ and most of the old ones were written by Jews who did not believe He was God on earth.  I also found out there is dramatic archaeological evidence supporting all of the bible. 

I also found smart folks have a tendency to believe more in themselves than in Christ but I heard a story the other day just for those folks.  I have to warn you it is off color by city standards but by farm standards it is just common language so don't get your underwear in a wad.  If you continue reading this, you were warned. 

So here goes:   There was this little girl riding on an airplane next to a sophisticated business man.  The little girl asked him if he believed in God and he responded, "no, I think it is silly".  He also told her that you cannot see God and therefore He does not exist.  So the little girl asked him:

If a cow shits and creates patties and horse shits and it creates these large round balls, and a rabbit shits and makes small little pellets can you explain why?  He laughed and said no.  Then she remarked, "why do you think God doesn't exist if you don't know shit?"

I wonder if any preacher has the guts to use that in a sermon. 

Well, I guess you figured it out, I became a believer, the hard way and even though I am not perfect I am forgiven because I transferred my faith from that which is easy to Jesus Christ.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• there is a lot of bullshit going around about what God is not
• Jesus died so that all my s___ don't matter
• Jesus loves me in spite of all my faults as long as I transfer my faith to Him and not myself

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Retirement ain't what it use to be -

Well as many of you know I have chosen to retire from being a financial advisor and now am attempting to figure out what I want to do.  In the old days (love that saying) as farmers and ranchers we just kept doing what we were doing until we could do no more and then we did some more.  What that says is that farmers and ranchers never retire.

I remember my dad when he would get up from the chair or taking a nap he would appear to be in pain.  His response was always, "just wear and tare" then he would take about two steps then he was back to full speed just like "the good old days".  He never complained and he never talked bad about folks and he always worked harder and faster than anyone.  In fact I remember when he was in his 60's, much less than when he was in his late 80's (that is a figure of speech just in case you can't figure it out), Larry and my brother in law and myself went to work with dad and my brother in law was worried that dad would not be able to keep up.  Larry and I knew better.  After about four hours the brother in law was what I call "down in the mouth" and complaining about needing a break and dad was just laughing and kept right on going.  In fact the brother in law quit working because he was tired long before the rest of us quit for the day.  That day he learned that dad could out work anyone, anywhere and anytime.  To this day it is still funny as I look back.  There are only two people that I think come close to being like dad and that is my two nephews, Cliff Crow of Kingfisher and Richard Crow of Perry and I guess I could throw in my brother Larry.  They are all workaholics, not me, although a lot of folks claim I don't know when to quit.  Oh ya, my sister Debbie, she is a workaholic as well.  She does not know when to quit and is about the most servant orientated person you will ever find.  Guess you could say, "the nut does not fall far from the tree".

back to retirement:  Yep, I am retired but I have not quit.  I am gardening more, reading more, doing financial coaching and some seminars here and there, involved in a few more mission orientated projects like working with folks just getting out of prison, managing some real estate we have owned for a long time, and on a few boards of non-profits and then one private company we own that does trucking.  Yes, I did say trucking just to annoy a few folks like Jim Wicker (president and partner in JW Logistics).  You see we are not a trucking company but a logistics company which really means we handle trucking.  Yep, retirement is not slowing down but trading my time for something else and preferably what I choose.   If I were more spiritual, I would say doing more of what He chooses.

Maybe, if I think about it long enough, retirement has not changed much.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• you can take the boy out of the farm but you cannot take the farm out of the boy
• if I can get up out of bed or off the couch and keep moving then I must still be living the dream
• if God meant for me to sit on my butt in retirement I think He would have had a chapter in the Bible telling me how to waste my time and not invest in other folks.  In fact I think He says in His word something about standing before God and Him saying, "well done my good and faithful servant".  Ya, that is what I want, how about you?

Well, thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

if you want my book and you like adults with special needs, like Preston who has down syndrome then consider purchasing my book on Amazon, "Home On the Range by Gary Olson".  All profits go to Wings, a community for adults with special needs.  If you want a signed copy, send $25 or more (check made out to Wings), to 12501 Dutch Forest Place, Edmond, OK 73013 and I will send you a signed copy and I will pay for the book and shipping.  Wings will get the entire donation and you will get a tax deduction.  What do you think of those apples?  (metaphor)

2018 06 25 Dominican Republic 1

2018 06 25 Dominican Republic (published the first time 2020 01 15)

Here I sit on the top of a mountain in a beautiful house enjoying the fruits of a life given to me by my creator, my parents and of course growing up in the Osage. I cannot help but be amazed at the creation by God’s hands. The flowers and the trees and of course the climate in the DR are fantastic but how can anyone believe a BIG BANG created this? Just take some common-sense logic, like if it were a big bang, which is taking something that exists and exploding it into a chaos vs. a finely developed order of creation. I don’t know precisely how everything was made and absolutely no one on earth today or in the past knows. They can only guess and look at evidence but remember, that things like carbon dating is a science and absolutely no one knows for sure if it is accurate. In fact, I heard a PHD from one of the major colleges in California say that there is evidence that carbon dating is potentially off by thousands of percent. For those who remember Aunt Gladys (Gladys Snyder-science teacher extraordinaire) she was a firm believer in evolution and she was a joy to talk to and study with. I cannot explain the difference in Biblical teaching and science but no one else can, not even the smartest person out there.

The folks here in the DR are extraordinarily friendly and hospitable. They seem to desire to serve you and they enjoy life even though they do not have the luxuries we have in the states. Their families are much closer and in many respects like the "good old days" in the Osage. The evenings are spent eating together and talking while just sitting in a circle which includes all the family. That means kids as well.

I do remember the Shumate’s, the Snyder’s and the Kelsey’s would be at our house playing cards or just talking for hours. Sometimes the Arrington’s would drive down from Shidler and spend the evening and again just sit around and talk and of course eat together. Even if there was no company visiting we would sit on the porch and watch the coyotes run across the hills or at least listen to them howling back and forth. That was great fun. Life seemed much like the DR and I have to say it takes some getting use to these days. I guess I just need to slow down.

So what does all this mean?

What do you learn in the Osage?

Stuff is much less important than family and friends
Time is fleeting, and you don’t get a second chance to use it because it is already gone
Happiness is where the heart is and that is precisely why stuff does not make you happy
Thanks for listening,

gary
gary@thepioneerman.com
　

　

　

　

　

　

If you really want to eat, go to Grainola or Mandy's in Shidler on Saturday night

First off I have to tell you that Susie Hobbs was one of the best cooks ever but when she put her recipes in the Grainola Cookbook I think she cheated a little and did not tell the precise recipe.  Shouna, my wife, use to try one Grainola recipe each week or so every time she tried one of Susie Hobb's it failed.  I know better becuase I worked over there a few times working cattle (for those who don't know what that means, it is when we cut off the horns and castrate the calves).  Let's take a little detour.  When the calves are young and I would say less than 200 pounds we would remove the nubs (baby horns) and remove the testicles from the bull calves.  Let me tell you those boy calves did not enjoy the event.  Back to Susie Hobbs, she was a great cook and you could not find any better mirange pies, either coconut or lemon and she was as good as it gets making fried chicken.  Her fried chicken was as fresh as you could get it because she would walk out in the back yard and grab a few chickens, ring their necks and dip them in boiling water then pluck their feathers and remove the innards and cut them up and straight to the cast iron skillet with boiling grease.  Of course she rolled the chicken in flower and seasoning before the frying pan.

Actually, I don't recall a lady in Grainola who was not a great cook, except maybe Aunt Gladys Snyder (it seemed that when I was at her house Billy would cook or we would have bologna).  I do know that Jon Tanny Olsen showed up at our house to get cookies quit often so I am assuing Maggie (Marguaret, his mom, did not make cookies, at least enough to satisfy Jon Tanny).  I should also say that Eddie Harris showed up to eat often.  About the only person I think could out cook about everyone was my sister Debbie Sue and she seemed to cook every day.  Her cookies and deserts were over the top, especially her no-bake oatmeal and her chocolate chip cookies.

Now I will give one shout out for my mom's German Chocolate Cake.  None Better! Oh, her cinnamon rolls and her chili!

Of course you all know the history of Head Country BBQ sauce and how it was made by our neighbors who were welders and cattlemen, Tom Head and I think Bud might have been a little help.

Now we do have one famous cook who is from a different generation and that is Mandy of Shidler and the daughter of John Payne (pain in the neck is what a lot of his teachers called him).  Most of you know him as the One Armed Bandit, not to be confused with the slot machine, but a rodeo entertainer.  What you may not know is Mandy is every bit as good as John on a horse but she has about the best steaks you will ever taste.  Check out her web site but generally it is every Saturday evening from about 5 to 7 and I believe there is only one thing on the menu, steak.  I have been there a few times over the years and I tell folks no matter where I have traveled there is no better steak than at Mandy's.  And just in case if you are wondering, I did not get paid for saying all that.  The food is worth the trip and the folks are the best, along with the atmosphere, truly western.

Mandy's Cafe, Shidler, Oklahoma

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• The best cooks don't always share their secrets
• Don't underestimate a welders ability to cook
• Always compliment the mouth that feeds you, like your mom and your sister

Thanks for listening,

gary 

golson21@hotmail.com

Only in a small town like Grainola

When you live in small towns you get to know about everyone and a lot of times you just get surprised about what you don't know.  One of those times was when I was in downtown Grainola (get real as there was only about 36 folks in Grainola and there were probably more dogs than people) at Dale's Feed Seed and Fertilizer Store and here comes Paul Jones (dad to Paula, Debbie and David and wife to Billie, I guess that is how you spell Billie) landing his airplane on main street right in front of the tennis courts, the Post Office and Dale's.  Paul was bald headed, like a lot of the Jones as they got older, but he was adventuresome and just down right a lot of fun.  He jumped out of the plane with a big smile on his face and with everyone coming over to see the commotion he was in his element.  I guess everyone wants to be noticed but Paul was all about the fun.  Anyway, that was the first time I saw Paul's plane and the first time I saw a plane up that close.  And the only time I saw a plane in downtown of any town, especially Grainola.

I don't know if it is true but Paul was supposed to have flown his airplane under a high line wire many a time but once he hooked it and flipped the plane.  He lived.  Another story which I cannot validate is he drove a Ford Bronco (as I remember anyway, it kind of looked like a jeep to me) with an engine that he rebuilt and it was told that he had a high patrolman clock it and he was over 140 miles per hour on Highway 60 down by Pawhuska.

I am not sure all the stories were true but based on the evidence he was guilty of all these pranks.  He flew his airplane to hay fields where we cut, bailed and hauled the hay which he contracted.  I guess you could say he was an entrepreneur.  As I recall we could stack about 600 bales on a semi trailer which he would take to anywhere they would pay.  The hay was typically alfalfa but we bailed and hauled a lot of prairie hay and some hay-grazer (kind of like johnson grass but a lot better).  It seemed that about every young man at one time or another worked in the hay fields around Grainola, Shidler, Fairfax, Pawhuska (home of the pioneer woman, Ree Drummond), plus Copan and Bartlesville.  I should throw in Little Chief since they are making a movie focused on the murders in Little Chief and the remainder of Osage County.  The movie is based on the book "Killers of the Flower Moon".  You gotta read the book, it is a killer (get it? ha, ha).  In fact now that I bring that up we hauled hay for E.C. Mullendore, who was murdered up around Copan by what they think was the mob.  There is a book about it and I believe the title is: "The Mullendore Murder Case".


Paul is mentioned in the book along with some of the other Grainola folks as he flew  E.C. to Ponca City where E.C. transacted some business supposedly with the mob.

Paul is also the person who gave me my first airplane ride from the Mullendore Ranch near Copan to Shidler so I could get back to the start of football practice.  Paul teased me about getting sick in his airplane for weeks telling me I had to carry a bucket in case I tossed up some chunks.  Do I need to explain?  NOT!  He tried everything he could to make me sick and luckily I did not.

Paul was just one of those great guys in my life and I am thankful I got to know him.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Life is like a box of chocolates, you just don't know what you are gonna get
• In everything give thanks and learn something
• You will never regret if you keep your mind on what matters most, like Jesus and family

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

Manure and Money are a lot alike

If you pile up manure it stinks but if you spread it around it can be a benefit, kind of like money.  Now I know most folks have never known of a cow chip throwing contest and actually we did not have a formal one in Grainola or Shidler but I have thrown more than my fair share.  The real story here is about our country being a Republic that protects our human rights.  In that is the right to spread around our cow chips however we want without government intervention or at least minimal intervention while preserving our personal rights to invest our personal capital however we choose (that means spread our capital around or spread our cow chips however we want).  Now when I say personal capital it might mean money or talent or ingenuity or friendship or mercy and there might be more meanings, but I will stop there.  If you have not read our constitution or bill of rights recently I would suggest you read them again because it seems that this country is getting messed up.

People like my grandfather (a legal immigrant) came to America to find opportunity better than what there was in Sweden.  He said the problem in Sweden is that the taxes were so high that only the privileged could get ahead.  In America we all have the same rights (at least that is the way it was supposed to be) but what we do with that depends on the decisions we make and our work ethic.  The constitution did not promise everyone equal pay, equal taxes, equal smarts, equal talents primarily because it could not promise that.  What it did say is that it would protect each of us and in fact I am not sure it gave individual rights but it gave that promise to the nation as a whole.  (boy do I ramble sometimes)

I hope you don't believe that I am covering every aspect of those rights but I am saying that each of us can make decisions on how hard we want to work and we will reap the rewards for those decisions.  whoops, I bet some folks will have a problem with that because the rewards are not always distributed fairly and you would be correct.  What I am saying is that we can use our heads to choose but we are all limited by our basic talent, smarts, social skills etc..  In the old days folks persevered through hardship and they planned ahead for problems.  There was the depression, WW I and WWII and the Korean War and Vietnam War and depressions and even the dust bowl and if you were a farmer there was bad weather and lots of times failure.  What I am suggesting is Proverbs 2 says that the beginning of wisdom is knowledge and knowledge comes from experience both good and bad and that success is a function of adding up all your failures and short comings and overcoming them.

None of you can imagine how I see things because you did not walk in my shoes.  You don't know of my failures and shortcomings but you have opinions and thoughts that may or may not be correct.  Let me tell you what I see and my perception of a few folks:

Jim Heath - smartest guy in my class - successful because he raised a good family and invested his life how he saw fit.

Hugh Jones - US Marine - winner and overcomer

Jon Tanny Olsen - built a company through hard work and tenacity and raised a family and has a successful marriage to Pam.

Yep, these are the three boys of the Grainola 5 and sometimes 6.  I wish I knew what happened to Denise.

Joy Frank - she is the sometimes 6 - teacher, wife, parent and grandparent - beautiful person

These are all successful folks and I do not know what their net worth is in dollars but they are inspirations to me and their net worth to me is enormous.  Their lives were invested and they spread their chips (get it?) around and in the end (or close to the end) they are successful.

So, back to spreading around those cow chips.  If you spread around a little manure there might be some mess along the way but in the end growth occurs.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A chip off the old block is not necessarily a bad thing
• A little BS is good especially if it is dry and thrown around a little
• And if you take those chips and Pile them Higher and Deeper you will have a PHD following your name with a comma 

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

Uncle Bill Lane is just one more unknown hero

Well, Uncle Bill passed May 30th to everyones surprise.  He was born in Grainola at home on December 6, 1930 and did serve in the military during WWII.  It is funny that he never talked about being in the military and yet there was a military funeral held in Collinsville, OK and then buried in Talala.  During the war he was stationed in Washington State and that is all I really know since he never talked about it.

What was really inspiring about the occasion besides having a bunch of the family getting together one more time to celebrate a life well lived is the other heroes in the crowd.  By the way, isn't it great when someone passes we talk about the good and not the bad although I never knew of or heard one single bad thing about Uncle Bill.  Back to the others who attended, Wayne Patterson or as we called him, Big Wayne because my brother Larry Wayne Olson was younger, was always inspiring to me because he served and his dad, Uncle Harley, also served as well as his brother Stanley (another story).  I was always too young to understand everything and many times my recollections may not be entirely accurate but during the Bay of Pigs, Wayne was on his way to serve before President Kennedy pulled the plug.  I am not sure where else Wayne served but as I recall he worked in Haiti or the Dominican Republic helping build infrastructure there.  It was always fun at holidays that Wayne would hitch hike to and from the military until he showed up one time with a big Harley Davidson and he told me he got it up to 140 miles per hour.  Now one last little story about Wayne and that is he showed me how to shoot a single shot 12 gauge long tom shot gun loaded with double shot.  I was about 12 years old and very big for my age and Wayne told me to hold the gun butt about an inch from my right should.  YA! you would think I would hate him after that prank.  It knocked me plum backwards on my butt.  My shoulder hurt like crazy and he and Stanley and Larry Wayne stood there laughing.

Then there was Stanley who served in the Marines in Vietnam during the 67 and 68 conflicts.  He was not a happy camper.  I always wanted to be like him and Big Wayne and my parents used that against me.  They told me I would have to take hot baths and use soap to grow up like them.  I trusted them.  Anyway, back to Stanley.  It was because of him that I wanted to be a Marine and serve our country and it was also because of him that I was concerned about what was going on in Vietnam.  He told me the government was trying to run the conflict from Washington using political ideas on wining a war.  He was watching friends get killed and wounded by politicians stupid uninformed advice.  Stanley is also the one who taught me how to torture someone and I was his target.  Have you noticed there is a common thread of prankster behavior in this family?

Well, at the funeral for Uncle Bill there were other veterans and it was moving to hear and see a military honor guard.  That day I remembered all of those who served like Uncle Bill, Uncle Harley and his two sons, Uncle Snyd (Vernon Snyder of Grainola and his brother), all of my dad's brothers and my dad and many more.  Even Aunt Gladys Snyder served.  The legacy these folks have left are remarkable.  A big thank you to all who serve and have served.

And if you did not notice Uncle Bill's service was on the 70th anniversary of D-Day.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• freedom is not cheap
• love and honor those who put their lives on the line for you and me

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

RED MAN CHEWING TOBACCO - every boy has to try it

I suppose most, if not all, boys have to try tobacco once in their life.  My Poppie Jess Lane liked plug tobacco which was a rectangular shaped chunk of tobacco about 3 inches long by 2 inches wide and half an inch thick as I recall.  He would bite into it and yank his head to the side to tare off a piece then he would take his tongue and push it to the side between his teethe and cheek giving him a chipmunk look.  If you cannot picture that, think of yourself with a big old bump on the side of your mouth sticking out about an inch.  He would suck on that stuff and then spit into an old bucket he kept besides his favorite chair.  Pretty gross?  huh?  Anyway, then there was Uncle Don Lane who liked the pouch tobacco, Red Man, and he could put about half a pouch of tobacco in his cheek at all times.  In fact I would not be surprised if Uncle Don slept with tobacco in his jaw.  Uncle Don was a doctor for sure because once when Larry, my brother, got stung by a bee, Uncle Don immediately took the wad of wet sticky slim out of his mouth and put it on the bee sting which was behind the ear of Larry.  He said it would take away the swelling and pain.  Well of course it did because you would no longer be thinking about the sting but that slim behind your ear and how gross it was.  I should tell you that Uncle Bill Lane was more like Poppie Jess in that he liked the plug and later converted to Red Man. 

All of this reminds me of when I was selling bibles door to door for the summer after high school and for 3 summers.  I have to tell you that only the tough survive that job.  Well it was during the summer I was working in Kentucky and I was invited into this very nice house to share my book selling skills and I sat in this really nice rocker recliner.  These folks seemed like upper crust, if you know what I mean, and had a lot of money by my standards.  The lady was very well dressed and they seemed like sophisticated Methodist, which they were.  Well, they invited me to sit in that rocker recliner but just before I sat down I noticed a small empty green bean can filled with tobacco juice.  So, I asked the mister where he would like to put it and he yelled at his wife to come and get her can.  Yes, her can!  I was shocked but as I worked in Kentucky I gained wisdom that a lot of women used tobacco and in particular Garrett Sweet Snuff and a few, used Copenhagen or some other form of snuff.  Who knew?  Wow!

That reminds me of how I met my wife, Shouna.  When I was in college at Southwestern Oklahoma State University in Weatherford, Oklahoma I was watching all the girls at the student union and she was one of them.  Well I noticed that she was dipping snuff and it was dripping out of both sides of her mouth.  My mom always told me to find a level headed woman to marry, so I did, that day in 1973 around Thanksgiving time.  As I write this story May 23rd, 2019 I am thankful for having married that curly headed blond that was so level headed.  I feel blessed.  Ask her, she will tell you.

OK, back to the story.  Not sure if I ever got started but here goes.  In 1969 I was on the school bus coming home from a track meet in Newkirk, Oklahoma headed toward Shidler High School to get in my red Chevy (1963) and head home, one mile north of Grainola and 3 west past Vea Harris's house.  On that bus Hugh Allen Jones (1 of 5 sometimes 6) had a pack of RED Man Chewing Tobacco and he was sharing it.  I took a pinch (more like a handful) and placed it between my tongue and cheek and proceeded to enjoy the flavor, NOT!  I started getting dizzy and then I think I turned greener than the green giant.  No sooner than we got back to Shidler and I got off that bus I started throwing up chunks.  That was my first, middle and last time I ever tried snuff or chewing tobacco. 

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• If you have worms, try a little Red Man and whatever is inside you will come out
• If it stings and Uncle Don is around, run, the pain is better than the solution
• Don't try something new when you cannot get out of the bus
• level headed women are hard to find, unless you have a technique 

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

How to eat a piece of Pie in one bite for $1

Only Harold Codding would do that.  We were at the annual 4-H livestock show in Pawhuska and Harold and I were showing cattle and judging livestock but we had to eat.  One of the great things about the livestock show was the cafeteria.  I don't know how they did it but they had great food and especially great pies (pronounced with a long I, Pi's).  By the way did you know that Pie are round and cornbread are square.  Not at all what your math and science teacher tell you.  They contend that PI is squared.  Obviously they did not know great cooks (I am guessing you get the humor in all this).
anyway, Harold and I went to eat at the cafeteria and he ordered a piece of apple pie.  Then he proceeded to eat it in one byte and I promise you they gave him a normal piece of pie which in those days was pretty good size.  Harold, commonly known as Chuckles because he would always chuckle when he thought something was funny, shared with me that his mother, Helen, and he had a bet on losing weight.  Harold never needed to lose weight as he had about zero fat.  Harold had muscles in his ears and teeth (maybe) and yes, he could wiggle his ears.  I am telling you his face muscles could flex.  I have never known anyone who had muscles literally everywhere popping out on his body.  Harold could walk on his hands all around the gym and he could do hand stands on a chair, ridiculous but true!

The bet was that if you had a desert, he or his mom, had to put a dollar in the jar and whoever won the desired weight contest got to keep all the money.  Knowing Harold I would not be surprised that he or his mother would donate the money to the Foraker United Methodist Church rather than keeping it for themselves.  Did I mention that before we even paid for our meal which was like a cafeteria where we were standing in line to pay, Harold ate the piece of pie!  Yep, one bite!  And you could bet your bottom dollar that he put it in the jar and was honest enough to tell his mother.  Harold was like the commercial, "Spic and Span" in everything.  Yes, I am embarrassing Harold, but he deserves it for being next to perfect, at least while in high school. I should also mention that if you would like to see the old church bell from the Foraker Church, it is in my yard.

Next time I will tell you how tight he was/is.  I will just say this, Harold lived one summer while selling books/Bibles door to door on $5 per week room and board!  Ya, that is rent and food.  I will also tell you how he did it.  This little old lady fell in love with how nice Chuckles was and she would let him live with her for the summer and prepare him breakfast and dinner for $5 per week.  Only Harold!

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Harold is/was tighter than a popcorn fart - sorry for the color but that is a country saying for he could get a dollar out of a dime like no other
• nice guys really do come in first
• integrity starts at an early stage and the parents set the example

Thanks for listening,

gary 

golson21@hotmail.com

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"Home on the Range by Gary Olson"