How to eat a piece of Pie in one bite for $1

Only Harold Codding would do that.  We were at the annual 4-H livestock show in Pawhuska and Harold and I were showing cattle and judging livestock but we had to eat.  One of the great things about the livestock show was the cafeteria.  I don't know how they did it but they had great food and especially great pies (pronounced with a long I, Pi's).  By the way did you know that Pie are round and cornbread are square.  Not at all what your math and science teacher tell you.  They contend that PI is squared.  Obviously they did not know great cooks (I am guessing you get the humor in all this).
anyway, Harold and I went to eat at the cafeteria and he ordered a piece of apple pie.  Then he proceeded to eat it in one byte and I promise you they gave him a normal piece of pie which in those days was pretty good size.  Harold, commonly known as Chuckles because he would always chuckle when he thought something was funny, shared with me that his mother, Helen, and he had a bet on losing weight.  Harold never needed to lose weight as he had about zero fat.  Harold had muscles in his ears and teeth (maybe) and yes, he could wiggle his ears.  I am telling you his face muscles could flex.  I have never known anyone who had muscles literally everywhere popping out on his body.  Harold could walk on his hands all around the gym and he could do hand stands on a chair, ridiculous but true!

The bet was that if you had a desert, he or his mom, had to put a dollar in the jar and whoever won the desired weight contest got to keep all the money.  Knowing Harold I would not be surprised that he or his mother would donate the money to the Foraker United Methodist Church rather than keeping it for themselves.  Did I mention that before we even paid for our meal which was like a cafeteria where we were standing in line to pay, Harold ate the piece of pie!  Yep, one bite!  And you could bet your bottom dollar that he put it in the jar and was honest enough to tell his mother.  Harold was like the commercial, "Spic and Span" in everything.  Yes, I am embarrassing Harold, but he deserves it for being next to perfect, at least while in high school. I should also mention that if you would like to see the old church bell from the Foraker Church, it is in my yard.

Next time I will tell you how tight he was/is.  I will just say this, Harold lived one summer while selling books/Bibles door to door on $5 per week room and board!  Ya, that is rent and food.  I will also tell you how he did it.  This little old lady fell in love with how nice Chuckles was and she would let him live with her for the summer and prepare him breakfast and dinner for $5 per week.  Only Harold!

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Harold is/was tighter than a popcorn fart - sorry for the color but that is a country saying for he could get a dollar out of a dime like no other
• nice guys really do come in first
• integrity starts at an early stage and the parents set the example

Thanks for listening,

gary 

golson21@hotmail.com

Go, Go, Go to Amazon and order my book and help support adults with special needs.  

"Home on the Range by Gary Olson"