Everybody has dreams, but HOPE?

A famous person once said, "dreams are not goals but when you turn dreams into goals you create HOPE".

 I have always been a dreamer or at least a visionary as my wife would say.  Actually I do not know what I would call myself but I do agree that I think of a lot of possibilities.  Perhaps I am a possibility thinker?  I like that.  One of my pet-peeves is talking about things and not doing anything about it.  Let me give you a few examples:

I don't dance and everyone from Grainola, Shidler and college can verify this is true especially my wife.  However, several years back I got tired of folks always (including Shouna) saying we should go ballroom dancing.  I guess the Dancing with the Stars is what started this but it seems like the comments started long before the show.  Anyway, I decided to start a ballroom dance club.  Boy was that stupid.  Well it went pretty well except that shortly after we started I had a motorcycle wreck and spent almost the entire year on crutches.  Shouna danced with Richard who was nearly a professional for that time.  I just set up each week and played the music.  It really was fun and we peaked out at around 65 folks.  Summers were devastating and after about a year or two we stopped plus the building got sold.

For years I talked about the stories my dad told plus the experiences I had in growing up in the Osage and of course the famous One Arm Bandit, pre-one arm, stories that I had collected in my desk.  Actually I wrote several stories about folks I grew up with and put in that folder including Julian Codding who was and is the smartest guy you will meet.  Well, it took the passing of Don Kelsey to get me started but that is when I started blogging.  The truth is I did not start this for you but for my children and grandchildren of which I have one so far.  She is Perfect!  I also started filming my parents telling stories and history about their past.  All of this is to tell you that a friend, Chris Johnson, and I have developed an APP for YOU to write your stories to pass to your children.  It should go live in two weeks 06-09-2017 assuming everything gets finished.  It is free.  Now I should assume you don't know what an APP is.  First it is NOT an appaloosa horse (spotted rear-end).  It is not a test like an aptitude test.  It is an application which you can load on these dad-gum cell phones.  So it is another one of those things I got tired of talking about and decided to do something.  I hope you get fed up with not doing something you know you need to do.  Anyway, search the APP-store for MyLifeLegacy in a couple of weeks or sign up on Facebook by looking up MyLifeLegacy or go to the web page www.mylifelegacycoach.com .  Boy that was a mouthful.

Oh ya, that quote at the beginning was mine.  I just thought it funny to say it was someone famous.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• If you put off doing something it will never get done.
• As my dad use to say, "let's do something, even if it is wrong"
• If you try, try, and try again you will win.
• Never, Never give up!

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Take a look at yourself

Well, we all have to take a look at ourselves sometimes and what we see can be good and it can be bad but how we react is the most important.  For myself I think one of my biggest struggles in life is pride.  I am very proud of growing up in the Osage and Grainola and going to Shidler High School and graduating from SWOSU and working for EDS and then there is my family and my career and the jobs I have had and the companies I started or help start.  But and I do mean but or however, it is fun telling all the good side of what I have accomplished but (there goes that word again) it seems that about the time things are going really great and folks (including self) start putting you (me) on a pedestal I get WHACKED.  Now let me explain WHACKED.  That is also called humbled and I think it comes about more as we get older and realize that God has something to teach us(me).  Now if you are like me, I get tired of the lessons and just want to get some clarity on what God is doing my life.

So lets set this up in an example so you can see what I learned.

In fact let's do it with a little time line of life:

For whatever reason I always wanted to be great at something and early in life it was baseball and I was probably about 10 or 11.  I felt like I was one of the best on our Grainola team which was coached by Jim Olsen, Jack Heath and my dad (Cliff Olson) and I think Cack Harrington but not sure.  What I thought was really great was somewhat of a disaster.  We had to play those Shidler teams where Steve Chrisco threw blazing fast balls which I literally never hit and AJ and about everyone on their team got a hit every time they got up to bat.  All that means we lost every game with maybe one win per year.  Humility is my summary.

In high school and college I wanted to be the smartest in my classes since as it turned out I was not particularly athletic even though I got to play every sport and literally almost every minute and every inning of each sport.  But then I spent my time and effort comparing myself to everyone else rather than just trying to be the best me.  Again I was humbled by the brilliance of those in my classes to find myself still wondering what was I going to be great at.  Humbled again by brilliant folks or at least I hoped they were brilliant because that would at least say I was average.

I was always in awe of those who were so spiritually mature and especially those who could articulate the Bible.  I was challenged to figure out why I was a Methodist and why I thought I was a Christian.  The reality was I knew lots of stories and lived a good moral life but I really did not know why I believed what I believed about Christ and the Bible.  I spent a year studying and I would admit I was pretty poor at those studies but I did get the basics.  Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose on the third day and there were plenty of witnesses and lots of documentation of the life of Christ outside of the Bible (read: Evidence that demands a verdict and Archeology of the Bible).  I finally realized that I knew Christ but I had never trusted Him so I did the thing I thought Becky Sharp (another story)  was so ridiculous about and I trusted Jesus without reservation.  I again was humbled to know that I was just a sinner and no better than anyone else.  I just had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and that was the difference maker.  Humbled again.

Then there comes about 42 years of business and I have had some winners and some losers but overall I came out OK.  Recently one of my most prideful endeavors was making me so proud only to find that someone, somehow and someway screwed up and now I feel like a prideful idiot.  I just scratch my head and wonder how in the world can something doing so well get so messed up?  Well, I am here to tell you it is a function of PRIDE.  I think when we get to the point we are thinking, "look at what we have accomplished" and don't give credit to the blessings of God and how other folks contributed to the success we have missed the mark.  Now I am not saying that folks cannot be highly successful but I am saying that we all have to recognize that it is not because of our personal brilliance or vision or hard work but that it takes a lot of talents from a lot of folks to make something successful.  YEP, I am humbled again and boy am I tired Lord of learning these lessons.  So Lord if you don't mind just give me the answers and not make me go through any more humbling experiences.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Pride is the wrecking ball of success
• Humble ourselves and ask for God's direction
• Don't compare yourself to others as you will always find someone better than you
• Life is like a box of chocolates, you just don't know what you are gonna get

thanks for blessing me with your reading,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Easter Egg Hunt in the Osage

Obviously Easter is not about bunnies and hunting eggs but it was a heck of a lot of fun growing up hunting and coloring Easter Eggs.  What was your favorite part ?  Here is a side note:  go to mylifelegacy.com and start writing your story.  Well I have to say I loved coloring Easter eggs and my sister was the gasoline that ignited that fire.  Another way of saying that is she was the energy behind the coming of Easter and all its trimmings.  She taught me to love coloring those eggs and I especially remember the WAX pencil that allowed you to write on an egg and after coloring it your name or message would pop out.  Now for me, I am the guy who always wonders who thought of that.  It was such a great idea.  I also remember folks like Joy Frank who was particularly talented and artsie ( that is a derogative word from a jealous or less talented person like me) who brought her colored eggs to school and they were really cool. 

Now the second best part of Easter (when I was a child assuming I have grown up) was the HUNT.  I was always bigger and faster (due to my size not quickness) and I would always be very competitive at getting the most eggs.  Now most of you youngens (yes, that is a word because I learned it as a child in Grainola) eggs were not always plastic and broke into two parts and were filled with candy and money.  NOPE, ours were real eggs, chicken eggs for the most part.  At the end of each Easter we had the best deviled eggs you can imagine and I have no why you take an Easter egg which represents the beginning of life and Christ and call it a deviled egg, strange?   However I do remember Eddie Harris on occasion would bring a goose egg that was about 3 or 4 times bigger than a chicken egg.  I don't remember how old I was when someone brought in those plastic eggs but it was late in my childhood experience.  The best part of our egg hunts was that literally every child in and around Grainola (yes, Oklahoma) came for the hunts.  We had them in school and after school and at church and it did not matter who you were or what color your skin or what your economic status or even your church affiliation and even if you did not have a church affiliation you came with an Easter basket  and fire in your eye to compete.  Sure there were winners and losers but pretty much everyone got at least a few eggs.  I don't know how the parents made sure but they did.  For us Fabulous Four (Jimmy, Hugh Allen, Jon Tanny and me) we always had a great time.  We competed with all ages and of course as we got older we did better but I consider those as learning experiences.  I remember competing against my brother Larry who was four years older and my cousin Bill Snyder (son of Gladys) and Billy Don Head (Head country BBQ family) and Joe Conner (smart and Eagle Scout) and Jay Olsen (not a bad guy but a smart elic sometimes) Glen McConaghy, Dee Johnson and the list goes on and on.  Oh ya, there were girls in the race.

And then of course there was Sunday Church.  Generally the girls would have new dresses and the guys would have new Levis or maybe a pair of slacks or a new set of shoes.  We never did it very many times but a few times we would have sunrise church services and they were good and bad.  The bad was we had to get up in the dark and be out on a hill top in the Osage before daylight.  The good and I can say great is we watched the sun come up and there were typically three crosses on the hillside with the sun coming up and symbolically THE SON came up as well.  Those were GREAT moments and impactful for my entire life.

Wow, great memories and here is a final thought:

                 ETERNAL LIFE (GRACE) IS NOT FREE, IT WAS PAID FOR

Happy Easter 2017,
gary@thepioneerman.com








 

Expectations -

I don't know about you but I have always been a pleaser (not an official word) and I cannot say that is a great thing.  My dad and mom and my Aunt Gladys and my Aunt Peggy were always folks I looked up to and NEVER wanted to disappoint.  Dad never said much but he just expected the best and I wanted to please him.  But those sisters, Opal, Gladys Snyder and Peggy Heath, were another story.  Those three girls were smart, very smart but they kind of had a critical nature to them and they were all strongly opinionated.  I think I just never wanted them mad at me so it was easier to be a pleaser.  All kidding aside, Mom had a passion for me to do my best, Aunt Gladys bragged on me so much I never wanted to disappoint her and Aunt Peggy was the funest (not a word that you can find in the dictionary) Aunt a guy could ever have so I just wanted to be around her and Uncle Bill and of course Joe, Cathy and Marie.  The problem with all of this is if you don't know what their expectations are you never know if you succeed.  Luckily mom and dad always let me know I had arrived somehow and met their expectations.  I will have to say over the years there were many time I was not sure.

Aunt Peggy and Aunt Gladys (Mrs. Snyder for those Shidler folks) were hard to figure as I never did know if I had met their expectations which I sincerely  wanted to   The funny side is both would ask me if they were my favorite aunt and of course I told them both YES.  I had good reason.  Aunt Peggy made the best cinnamon rolls and Aunt Gladys was my encourager and invested a lot of time and effort in me over my life.  I never wanted to disappoint them.

All that brings me to the real point of this topic.  Over the years I have found that folks make decisions about you without ever talking to you and or knowing what you think and a lot of times they are emotionally charged for no reason.  How about a good old time example:  I remember when my first cousin Bill Snyder cornered me at a family reunion about the politics of "right to work" legislation.  There were a bunch of family there who were die hard democrats that assumed because I was a business man that I was against the unions and for "right to work" legislation.  Quit frankly I had not given it a thought at the time but about four of my favorite relatives jumped on the band-wagon and I felt attacked.  I want you to know I love every one of them regardless of that event but I have never forgotten it.  I did not have a dog in that fight but they had EXPECTATIONS that I was against unions.  Another time I made the comment that Bill Clinton was not that bad of a president and in fact did some good things in spite of his moral compass.  You would of thought I was looking for a fight.  I was trying to point out that there is good in all presidents regardless of being a democrat or republican.  I failed the expectations test again. 

My point in all of this is lets look for the good in ALL people regardless of our differences.  Yes it is true I am a conservative republican but I will tell you some wonderful folks are die hard democrats.  Mark Hammons is the head of the democratic party in Oklahoma and a fine person married to a wonderful wife, Lourie and they are long time friends.  My neighbors Brad and Kim Henry are so nice they make me want to be a democrat (Brad is the past governor of Oklahoma), just kidding on becoming a democrat.  Sure, I am dropping names but do you get the point?  STOP having expectations that everyone see your point of view and just try to understand theirs and you might learn something.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Expectations are a great way to be disappointed in someone else and in the end you will be disappointed with You having unrealistic expectations
• Expectations can be the most encouraging thing you can do for someone if you just let them know (like Aunt Gladys expecting me to be great at math)
• Treating someone bad because You have expectations for them to act like you want is unreasonable and unfair
• The best expectations are those you have a chance at succeeding at if you know what they are.

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

 

 

 

Home on the Range: I just assumed every family was like mine

Home on the Range: I just assumed every family was like mine

I just assumed every family was like mine

I guess I am like everyone else in that I assumed that every family was just like mine growing up, but I was wrong.

I watched and learned when I did not even know I was learning a thing.  When I was really small I watched Mom, Opal Wanetta Olson (Lane)), iron every shirt and every pair of pants and even the sheets on the bed and she did it with Niagara Spray Starch in the green can when things got a little more modern.  Before that she would mix her own starch and somehow shake it out of a bottle.  She cooked every meal from scratch and not because there were mixes or shortcuts but because that is the only choice she had.  Every house had a giant flour bin because every decent cook bought flour in huge sacks, not small small paper bags.  In fact those flower sacks were about 20 pounds and the sacks were saved to make clothes.

So what did I learn from watching Mom do all that cooking and ironing, she loved her family.  She was dedicated to doing the right thing and she loved my dad.  She must have because he wore those ironed clothes out to feed the cattle and in about 20 minutes those clothes were getting dirty and no one was there to judge how he looked.  Kind of interesting, wouldn't you say?

She cooked a big breakfast everyday unless you just told her you wanted cereal.  She made home made bread every week and served it at every meal.  Again, what was I learning as I watched these actions?  Family was important, be dependable, be organized, clean up afterwords, help without asking and the list goes on and on with what you can learn without saying a word.

I don't recall if Mom every said "I love you" to my dad with her voice but she said it every day with her actions.  Now I want to make it real clear that it is important to tell people you love with your voice and your actions but Mom seemed to do it rather well with her actions.

I never knew I was learning my values and views of the world through them when I was growing up but later it was pretty obvious and of course for those reading my blogs you should have picked up on this.

Mom was more social than Dad and therefore we played a lot of card games and board games as a family and with friends and neighbors.  It was very competitive around our house.  Dad was not as competitive but would always support and laugh.  His laugh was a genuine laugh of observation.  He hardly ever tried to be funny but he was in that he came up with witty statements often.  One of my favorites was he would say, "I saved your life.  I killed a shit eating mouse.".  I do hope you got the joke there.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Normal is what you grow up with, cause there ain't no normal
• Good or bad, we all learn every day and every hour about others but most importantly about ourselves.
• Remember someone is learning every day from you so be your best

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

join us on MYLIFELEGACYCOACH.com and write your stories

Can't get enough of those Sugar Crisp

Now there is one for the ages.  How many folks remember Sugar Crisp?  I sure do and I usually got Post Toasties and sometimes Cheerios (some things never change).  So here is the big question:

What makes Sugar Crisp taste sooooo very good?  I know the answer, Post Toasties and Cheerios.  You probably think I am crazy but think about it!  If all you had to eat was Sugar Crisp you would get tired of them just like the Jewish folks held up in the desert for 40 years got tired of manna.  You would think folks would be happy to just not go hungry.  Heck NO!  We are people, humans to be precise and we get tired of the same old things.  So if you think about it, am I right or not? 

Now here is another reason to back up my thoughts.  Sugar Crisp cost about twice as much per volume as Post Toasties making them a more sought after commodity.  If you don't think that works consider how much you would like a BMW if it cost the same as a VW Bug.  You know I am right so give it up. 

Now one last reason that Sugar Crisp taste better because of Post Toasties.  I bet you love cashews and think that they taste better than peanuts because you just like them better.  NOT one bit, it is only because cashews are more expensive and when you mix them there are fewer in the can of peanuts.  And yes, peanuts make cashews taste better because there are more peanuts than cashews. 

Now if you are not buying my argument listen to one last bit of wisdom (that might be an opinion of mine rather than really wisdom but it makes me feel good).  I have the best wife and 3 kids and one granddaughter in the world.  I fell in love with my wife, Shouna, not because she was like all the peanuts or Post toasties but because she is Sugar Crisp and a Cashew.  Now, do you get it?

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Special is really just different
• Variety is the spice of life
• What you see is important may be hiding behind something obvious (think about it)

Thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com
 

What is wrong with old fashioned values?

Obviously I grew up on the farm in Osage county with fantastic parents that protected me from the world and ultimately from myself and those stupid decisions a child can make when everything is so exaggerated by emotions and perceptions.

Mom and dad literally worked seven days a week but church was important for reasons I am not sure I understood as a child and they did not explain the why it was important.  We just went on Sundays, every Sunday, as proof I had an 8 year Sunday school pin for perfect attendance.  Did I tell you we were Lutherans until about the time I was 8 and we switched to Methodist.  What I remember about that is Larry and Debbie wanted to go to Grainola Methodist Church because that is where most of the kids in Grainola went to church.  It was good enough reason for me.  I never asked why.  Now back to the work comment.  We had a dairy and cows give milk 7 days a week and twice a day so there is no choice.  Well, yes there is and mom and dad took that option when I was about 9.  They got rid of the dairy cows except for old Jerz (ey).  We kept her to provide milk, butter and cream for the house.  We counted that she fed over 24 calves in her life plus all of us kids and mom and dad and a few friends and neighbors. 

So what does this have to do with values.  I don’t know, I never asked but looking back here is what I figured out:

• ·       You don’t have to tell people about your values if they can see them every day in your life
• ·       You don’t have to ask about values if you know what is expected of you
• ·       If your expectations are low then you will get low values

OK, so what values did I see:

• ·       Discipline – get your but out of bed and go to work if you want to eat.  They never said it but I knew they believed it was right.
• ·       Perseverance – no matter what the weather was or if I was feeling ill or if they were feeling ill or down/mopping the work had to be done.  PERIOD!
• ·       Share – share what you have with others even if you are a little short.  I saw it literally hundreds of times where they gave to others of their time and talent and food even when they could have used a little help.
• ·       Respect and love God – I don’t remember ever hearing them say, “believe in God”, they just did every day of every week.

Well, I could go on but  I have to tell you my folks were of few words but their actions spoke louder than any person I knew growing up.

So what did I learn about old fashioned values in the Osage?

• ·       Talk little and your words will be heard all over
• ·       Don’t hesitate to do what needs to be done
• ·       Expect the best and you will get it
• ·       Give the best and you will get it

I love the Osage!

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What next?

Well, this is 2016 and the presidential election is over.  I am not sure that anyone is totally happy with what happened but more happy with what did not happen.  The market did not crash and for some, happiness was Hillary not being elected.  It does not matter what your choice but that we have a democracy and democracy Won.  Losers, get over it.  Winners, be humble.  This is America first and there are NO groups of folks as we are all Americans or want-a-Be's and that is it.  Now I am not prejudice but if someone is in America and does not WANT TO BE then that is fine but you do not get all the benefits of being an American.  

Being from the Osage I remember Joe Conner (1961) was pro John Kennedy for President and I thought he was crazy even though i was almost 10 years old.  Looking back I believe Joe was a brave man and very articulate (he was about 14 years old).  His boldness was an example to me that a person can have conviction and not be violent or mean.  He was and I hope today, is the good man that a little boy observed so many years ago.  My mom and dad voted the opposite of each other on Kennedy and many thought it was a GIANT problem.  I think history has proven that God owned it then and still does.  John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson made a great difference and Kennedy certainly got the honors for what Johnson completed but I don't think anyone could argue that Lyndon Johnson was the purest of persons nor Kennedy who has his moral challenges.  They both did some good and even great things so lets give credit where credit is due and get over their faults.

In fact when Obama was elected many folks had all kinds of conspiracy theories and concerns and almost all were unwarranted.  Oh sure, we did get Obama Care and at least for me and my family it is a disaster.  Since Obama took office we have gone from about $325 per month to at the beginning of Obama Care around $620 per month to just announced $2360 per month for health insurance.  OUCH!   It does not matter which side you are on this was one of the boldest miss-representation of the facts in American history.  I am glad the barrier was broken with Obama but I am very sad for the division of people into ethnic or cultural groups.  I am setting here waiting to have a procedure on Preston's eyes in California and there is a show "The View" with Whoopi and company and it is totally disgusting.  They are slandering the newly elected president and not giving him a chance.  Once again why don't we stop listening to the slander and look for the facts.  I was just listening to one of the slanders about Trump and did a little research and found that he has a higher percentage of women in leadership positions and pays them in line with all the men but why is that never discussed?  I think we find what we are looking for not the whole truth.  In fact I remember Aunt Gladys Snyder who was a very one sided Democrat who insisted we get the facts and not listen to what others say because what  others say is how they see it, NOT the truth.  That actually reminds me of something I learned the hard way:  There are three sides to every story, His side, Her side and the truth.

  When is everyone going to get so tired of the bias in media that we quit watching the crazies including ALL of the networks.  Let's stop watching the movies of those who are so disgustingly immoral plus the TV and start talking to each other about what matters most, family.  What ever happened to Walter Cronkite and David Brinkley and the Paul Harvey's of the world?  What happened to news and stories where the facts were checked and both sides given so that the public can make informed decisions.  Let's stop letting the media divide us and let Free Enterprise reign again.  It seems we are choking out our rights with every new law.  We fixed the mortgage industry and eliminated almost 70% of the competition.  We fixed banking so now the top 5 banks in America control more assets than the over 5000 other financials institutions combined.  We have 5000 fewer banks today.  We have protected the consumer from predatory lending so now if you want a loan below $100,000 very few banks will even talk to you.  I should correct myself, not banks but financial institutions.  And here is an interesting fact credit unions were formed for small groups of folks to form a co-op type financial institution with common interest and it does NOT pay taxes but competes with banks who do.  And here is an interesting question:  Why do we regulate banks so they cannot fail and force them to pay insurance in case they do when they are owned by stockholders who invest at their own risk?  Do I need to explain?

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Joe Conner had it right
• Respect democracy and America
• Give everyone a chance 
• Every new law takes away someones freedom

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

what do you worry about?

I guess everyone has something to worry about and I am no different.  I am a pleaser at heart and have always liked making my folks proud which is easy to do because they are so forgiving of my mistakes.  I guess it took me years to figure that one out but today I hear a lot about what to worry about.

So what is on your worrying mind?

• Presidential election - two numb-skulls running for office and neither one fit for dog catcher
•      Now, don't get POed at me cause I am just repeating someone else's remarks.
• What is going on in this world that people don't work hard and are not interested in getting ahead by doing a good job then being recognized for their efforts.  
• Morals are watered down so that no one is marginalized
• the good old days are gone
• health insurance even Obama Care is out of reach for those who have a job and some money
• the stock market is going to crash
• interest rates are too low
• interest rates are going to go up

We all have something to worry about even though we should be happy and looking up for the future.

So what can we do to get past all this worrying?

• the easy answer is put God first in your life and let him handle the hard stuff
• the hard thing is putting it all in the the hands of God and not worrying

OK, solutions, yes I have them.

• STOP WORRYING cause that will not make a hill of beans difference
• Look for the good going on around you
• Invest in your family with time
• Share good thoughts about others
• read a good book
• encourage someone every day

One of the things I find that creates the most anxiety and worry in me is SPECULATING on something.  How many times have you gotten your underwear in a wad and the outcome was not even close?  I bet it is by far most of the time.

Well, I guess we should stop right here and do - you know what.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• worrying about something will not get anything done, stop it and do something and just like my dad, Clifford Olson, use to say, " let's do something even if it is wrong".
• Action will overcome fear and worry, DO SOMETHING! You are responsible for YOU and your actions, don't blame anyone for your circumstances
• America the Beautiful is going to be fine if everyone does their part and stops BITCHING

Get over it and let's do something good for somebody else,

thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Wet wooly

I don't know where that name came from but it reminds me of the first time I experienced it.

One of the delights of growing up in the Osage was good friends dropping by the house.  The Shumates had come by and that would include Mrs. Shumate, Sally and Janie.  Sally, Larry and I were sitting on our dark brown couch.  By the way, that couch lasted for at least 20 years before it was recovered and I don't think it really needed covered except that Mom wanted a new look/cover.  So back to the story:  Larry was sitting on the end of the couch with Sally next then me while we were watching TV (2 channels only, 2 and 6).  I think it was Sally who put her finger in her mouth and got it very wet then with stealth like movement she placed it in my ear!  I immediately assumed it was Larry and shoved Sally out of the way and hit Larry as hard as I could on the shoulder.  He rolled over the arm of the couch and onto the floor. Those were great times with great friends. 

Now I have to admit I have used "wet Woolies" many times.  But I learned the hard way that once you are married you don't wet wooly your wife and not get retaliation and once you get older they don't even retaliate they just get mad.  So I don't do that too much anymore.  You know there are a lot of silly games we play with each other and that is what makes a relationship fun and lasting.  I hope we never get too old to joke around with each other and tease.  I guess I just have never grown up but Shouna and I have a wonderful marriage and as of two days ago we are FINALLY grandparents.  In fact I can use your help.  Shouna thinks we should be called Lolli and Pops or Lollipops and I think I should be called Big Popa.  What do you think?  I want a vote.  Mike Cunningham of Cunningham Advisers says it is real simple on getting named on what you want to be named.  He says that when they are a child you just say, "what is my name?"  and if they get it right you give them a dollar.  Works for me.  We will see.

Back to the Wet Woolies.  I do have to tell you that when dating it is not a good idea and that may be just why I could never get a date, especially in high school. 

Well, I have to go as the tractor will not start at Wings and they are calling me so:

What do you learn in the Osage?

• A wet  wooly is not about the story in the Bible when the wool was set outside waiting on a sign from God that if it was wet one night and dry the next
• A wet wooly is a sick way to flirt with a girl
• If a girl cannot take a wet wooly she does not have a good sense of humor and you should not date her
• The joy of the Lord is in my faith and an occasional wet wooly.

Go try it on your wife,

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Bob and Lizzy

There can only be one Bob and Lizzy Scott and they literally took care of everything at Grainola Grade School where I spent a lot of my early life.  Bob drove the bus and maintained the building, yes one building for the entire school, and he cleaned it and he fixed everything.  Lizzy cooked and cleaned the kitchen and loved everyone of us.  I never heard them complain and I never knew them not to help out even if it were not a standard school event like the annual basketball game for old timers or a square dance where Carl McConaghy played the fiddle or the Grainola District fair where Eva Kelly and all the Kelly clan had something in the fair to even the Lord's Acre Sale where they raised money for the local Methodist Church.  Now I do realize I was a kid and did not know of all the conflict or frustration or work that went into each of these events but I did know one thing and that was EVERYONE in the community chipped in to help get ready and clean up.  No excuses just community rather you were a democrat or republican.  In those days Democrats outnumbered Republicans but luckily that has changed.  Whooppps, someone just got mad.

Lizzy was always old to me and she stood with a slight bend to her shoulders but she could cook.  I especially liked her sloppy joe hamburgers which I think was the same thing she put on spaghetti which I thoroughly loved as well.  She served, she cooked and she cleaned without help.

Now what brought me to remember Bob and Lizzy was thinking about that old coal fired heater in the basement of the school.  You see we never had air conditioning and as I recall everyone turned out ok and some folks were even successful.  A little sarcasm for those who complain about todays facilities.  Our doors leaked and our windows leaked and we had those old hot water heater/furnaces.  Well, anyway I was always curious about that basement and Bob gave very limited access to anyone so one time my first cousin and the son of the famous Gladys Snyder and I broke into the school basement from the east side of the building where there were some old stairs and an old door.  I honestly don't remember how Billy did it but he got us in there and we took our flash lights and went exploring.  That basement had to be 12 feet deep at a minimum and seemed to be the entire size of the basketball stadium because it was below the court and the bleachers.   Each year at least once per year there would be a delivery of coal which was dumped into the basement to fire up the heater.  It was magical and it was cold and damp and down right scary like one of those Alfred Hitchcock movies.  Do you remember The Cask of Amontillado?  If you have not read or watched it, it is a classic and at least in those days would scare the bijibbies out of you.  I never did know what bijibbies was and certainly do not know how to spell it.  But if you were in that basement you would feel them all around you. 

Well after exploring the basement Billy and I went upstairs and discovered the old locks on the old doors were easily broken into if you had a skeleton key (as we called  them).  We never did get caught and we did not mess with things, we just looked around and enjoyed the adventure.  Back then even if you got caught you would get a paddling from Bob ( I assume or from the principal, Lewis Morris) and then certainly one from home but you would never get kicked out of school.  Now here is one question you can help me with.

What good does it do to kick a trouble maker out of school?  It seems to me that you just gave freedom to the person who got in trouble.  That is NOT punishment, kind of like everyone getting a trophy for participation.   What a joke!  What idiot thought of that one?  I guess I made someone mad with that one as well.  If you want someone to change their ways you PUNISH them not reward them and rehabilitation is a joke in my opinion, for the most part anyway. 

My brother in law, Rocky Carter a football coach retired and I hope he does not get mad because I am getting ready to quote him, told me one time when he had four of his football players kicked off the team for smoking pot because of school policy.  He even thought it was stupid because he could have made them work harder, run laps and make a personal decision that the reward was not worth it.  But instead they were put on the streets so their grades when they got back would be worse and they would not get to participate in sports, one of the few things they really wanted to do, and of course they would be mad and more disrespectful and more likely to grow up with bad habits and make more bad decisions.  I make a motion that we stop getting stupider and stupider and use some common sense.

Oh well, I have gone too long so:  What do you learn in the Osage?

• let local folks who understand the situation make decisions about how to punish a person based on the situation and keep the lawyers (oopps, just made another one mad) and bureaucrats (dog-gone-it, made another one mad) out of it.
• Local coaches, teachers and administrators and even cooks, maintenance folks, bus drivers can make better decisions than a person 100 miles or more away in an office with nothing to do but write policy on something they do not understand or have the common sense to fix (I am chalking up a bunch of offenses)
• In case you make too many people mad, HIDE or duck your head so they don't hit you

Thanks for listening,
thepioneerman.com

 

Bloated and gased

Now I have to tell you that my Dad, Clifford Olson, was a bit ornery.  In fact for a while my nickname was Ornery while I lived in Chicago area.  I guess some would say a nut does not fall too far from the tree.  I hope I do not have to explain this metaphor.  I could give you a definition for metaphor. 

Metaphor - that is when a person has a blind date that did not last too long so you would say, "he met-er-fer a few minutes".

glad I got that off my chest.

Well, anyway, I had this show steer (meaning I had a steer which I was raising for a livestock show) that got out and ate some green alfalfa and got bloated.  Let me explain.  Bloated is like when you eat too many beans at one sitting and you get filled up with gas.  The problem is that cattle don't handle gas too easily and can actually die from bloat.  So here are a few solutions:

first one- take a long pocket knife and punch a hole into the side of the cow or steer and punch a hole into the stomach to allow the gas to escape.  This solution is not too good and has potential other side effects.  I am not going to explain.

Second method- take a water hose, yes water hose, and have one person hold the steers mouth open.  I would also suggest having the steer tied to a post as it will run right over you and at about 1200 pounds you will lose.  Anyway, the other person should take the water hose and stuff down the throat of the steer until you start to hear or smell the gas escaping and boy does it stink just like you can imagine.  If Steve Chrisco or Pee Wee were still alive they could tell you how a fart smells like the gas from a steer.  That comes from one of my older stories so go look for it.

OK, so here is where Dad comes into the picture.  I was holding the steers head when dad stuffed the hose down the throat of the calf.  It was everything I could do to keep that steer from killing me.  Dad proceeded to take the end of the water hose not inside the steer and putting it under my arm so the gas would escape directly in my face.  It was and dad was a stinker for that one.  Another thing dad taught me that day is that gas from the steer is like gas for a heater, it burns.  Dad always carried around a cigarette lighter as he smoked about two packs a day and lit the gas as it escaped the end of the hose.  Dad just laughed as he was having a good time teaching me.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A little fun is good when you work
• Fun at someone else's expense can be fun as well, just make sure no one gets hurt
• If the government had anything to do with it we would have had to fill out several forms and get a permit and the calf/steer would have died.
• Common sense is better than a brilliant bureaucrat

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com