I don't know about you but I have always been a pleaser (not an official word) and I cannot say that is a great thing. My dad and mom and my Aunt Gladys and my Aunt Peggy were always folks I looked up to and NEVER wanted to disappoint. Dad never said much but he just expected the best and I wanted to please him. But those sisters, Opal, Gladys Snyder and Peggy Heath, were another story. Those three girls were smart, very smart but they kind of had a critical nature to them and they were all strongly opinionated. I think I just never wanted them mad at me so it was easier to be a pleaser. All kidding aside, Mom had a passion for me to do my best, Aunt Gladys bragged on me so much I never wanted to disappoint her and Aunt Peggy was the funest (not a word that you can find in the dictionary) Aunt a guy could ever have so I just wanted to be around her and Uncle Bill and of course Joe, Cathy and Marie. The problem with all of this is if you don't know what their expectations are you never know if you succeed. Luckily mom and dad always let me know I had arrived somehow and met their expectations. I will have to say over the years there were many time I was not sure.
Aunt Peggy and Aunt Gladys (Mrs. Snyder for those Shidler folks) were hard to figure as I never did know if I had met their expectations which I sincerely wanted to The funny side is both would ask me if they were my favorite aunt and of course I told them both YES. I had good reason. Aunt Peggy made the best cinnamon rolls and Aunt Gladys was my encourager and invested a lot of time and effort in me over my life. I never wanted to disappoint them.
All that brings me to the real point of this topic. Over the years I have found that folks make decisions about you without ever talking to you and or knowing what you think and a lot of times they are emotionally charged for no reason. How about a good old time example: I remember when my first cousin Bill Snyder cornered me at a family reunion about the politics of "right to work" legislation. There were a bunch of family there who were die hard democrats that assumed because I was a business man that I was against the unions and for "right to work" legislation. Quit frankly I had not given it a thought at the time but about four of my favorite relatives jumped on the band-wagon and I felt attacked. I want you to know I love every one of them regardless of that event but I have never forgotten it. I did not have a dog in that fight but they had EXPECTATIONS that I was against unions. Another time I made the comment that Bill Clinton was not that bad of a president and in fact did some good things in spite of his moral compass. You would of thought I was looking for a fight. I was trying to point out that there is good in all presidents regardless of being a democrat or republican. I failed the expectations test again.
My point in all of this is lets look for the good in ALL people regardless of our differences. Yes it is true I am a conservative republican but I will tell you some wonderful folks are die hard democrats. Mark Hammons is the head of the democratic party in Oklahoma and a fine person married to a wonderful wife, Lourie and they are long time friends. My neighbors Brad and Kim Henry are so nice they make me want to be a democrat (Brad is the past governor of Oklahoma), just kidding on becoming a democrat. Sure, I am dropping names but do you get the point? STOP having expectations that everyone see your point of view and just try to understand theirs and you might learn something.
So what do you learn in the Osage?
Aunt Peggy and Aunt Gladys (Mrs. Snyder for those Shidler folks) were hard to figure as I never did know if I had met their expectations which I sincerely wanted to The funny side is both would ask me if they were my favorite aunt and of course I told them both YES. I had good reason. Aunt Peggy made the best cinnamon rolls and Aunt Gladys was my encourager and invested a lot of time and effort in me over my life. I never wanted to disappoint them.
All that brings me to the real point of this topic. Over the years I have found that folks make decisions about you without ever talking to you and or knowing what you think and a lot of times they are emotionally charged for no reason. How about a good old time example: I remember when my first cousin Bill Snyder cornered me at a family reunion about the politics of "right to work" legislation. There were a bunch of family there who were die hard democrats that assumed because I was a business man that I was against the unions and for "right to work" legislation. Quit frankly I had not given it a thought at the time but about four of my favorite relatives jumped on the band-wagon and I felt attacked. I want you to know I love every one of them regardless of that event but I have never forgotten it. I did not have a dog in that fight but they had EXPECTATIONS that I was against unions. Another time I made the comment that Bill Clinton was not that bad of a president and in fact did some good things in spite of his moral compass. You would of thought I was looking for a fight. I was trying to point out that there is good in all presidents regardless of being a democrat or republican. I failed the expectations test again.
My point in all of this is lets look for the good in ALL people regardless of our differences. Yes it is true I am a conservative republican but I will tell you some wonderful folks are die hard democrats. Mark Hammons is the head of the democratic party in Oklahoma and a fine person married to a wonderful wife, Lourie and they are long time friends. My neighbors Brad and Kim Henry are so nice they make me want to be a democrat (Brad is the past governor of Oklahoma), just kidding on becoming a democrat. Sure, I am dropping names but do you get the point? STOP having expectations that everyone see your point of view and just try to understand theirs and you might learn something.
So what do you learn in the Osage?
- Expectations are a great way to be disappointed in someone else and in the end you will be disappointed with You having unrealistic expectations
- Expectations can be the most encouraging thing you can do for someone if you just let them know (like Aunt Gladys expecting me to be great at math)
- Treating someone bad because You have expectations for them to act like you want is unreasonable and unfair
- The best expectations are those you have a chance at succeeding at if you know what they are.
Thanks for listening,
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