Today is Wednesday before my CFP exam.. It is a 10 hour exam and my anxiety is high. I don't know if I was this this anxious ever before about anything but I remember the few hours before a football game my stomach would get the butterflies and my anxiety would peak in a good way. The excitement of doing something that was outside my personality was incredible then and it is today during my final preparation.
I was never looking for a fight or wanting to prove myself in confrontation but sports brought something out of me that I truly loved. I could hit a person as hard as I wanted or possibly could and it was just a game with no intent to permanently harm someone (most of the time and someday I will tell that story). Football and sports brought something out of me that I did not recognize at the time and it was called courage, tenacity, and achievement. I was inspired by my coaches to do my best and inspired by my teammates to play my part for the benefit of the whole. I think sports, band, cheer leading, and even academics mature a person and I am very thankful for the dedicated teachers at dear old Shidler High who made me want to do my best. I suppose I was a pleaser (is that a word) in that I wanted my teachers and coaches to think well of me and I tried to meet their expectations. Thankfully those teachers and coaches wanted my best.
Well that gets me to today. I don't have the teachers around but I have lots of friends who want me to pass this test and are praying for me. I have said many times that only a miracle of God can help me pass this test. I have prepared more than I have prepared for anything in my life with perspiration and aspirations of dong my best. This is a very humbling experience in that I am vulnerable by sharing with everyone my anxiety and possibly the point of failure by failing the test. But as I learned in the Osage failure is not who I am but what I will become because of the experience. I will win in this no matter what the results are. God will be glorified in that I tried, I persisted, and I did not leave the course. Where he takes me from here is new territory which I embrace as I am not done but I am at the beginning of a new adventure.
I will end with one of my favorite stories about Mr. and Mrs. Williams who served as missionaries their entire lives. Mr. Williams was a medical doctor who could have been wealthy in dollars but he chose a life of service to God. I do want to make note of he CHOSE because he was free to choose because of those who fight for freedom for the rest of us. Anyway, after they retired back to the U.S. after living on dirt floors and modest surroundings for 40 years I was amazed to find them on a mission trip with us to Mexico providing medical services to the poor and needy. He focused on sharing the gospel more than numbers of patients. But that is not the point of why I admire this couple. The continued going on mission trips all over the world including working with the Kurds in northern Iraq for over 20 years after retiring! Last time I heard about Dr. and Mrs. Williams, yes they always went together, they were north of 85 years old and still serving.
The Williams did not end their careers at 65 but they started anew. They knew God was not through with them but only opening up more doors to serve. They must have grown up in the Osage.
What do you learn in the Osage?
I was never looking for a fight or wanting to prove myself in confrontation but sports brought something out of me that I truly loved. I could hit a person as hard as I wanted or possibly could and it was just a game with no intent to permanently harm someone (most of the time and someday I will tell that story). Football and sports brought something out of me that I did not recognize at the time and it was called courage, tenacity, and achievement. I was inspired by my coaches to do my best and inspired by my teammates to play my part for the benefit of the whole. I think sports, band, cheer leading, and even academics mature a person and I am very thankful for the dedicated teachers at dear old Shidler High who made me want to do my best. I suppose I was a pleaser (is that a word) in that I wanted my teachers and coaches to think well of me and I tried to meet their expectations. Thankfully those teachers and coaches wanted my best.
Well that gets me to today. I don't have the teachers around but I have lots of friends who want me to pass this test and are praying for me. I have said many times that only a miracle of God can help me pass this test. I have prepared more than I have prepared for anything in my life with perspiration and aspirations of dong my best. This is a very humbling experience in that I am vulnerable by sharing with everyone my anxiety and possibly the point of failure by failing the test. But as I learned in the Osage failure is not who I am but what I will become because of the experience. I will win in this no matter what the results are. God will be glorified in that I tried, I persisted, and I did not leave the course. Where he takes me from here is new territory which I embrace as I am not done but I am at the beginning of a new adventure.
I will end with one of my favorite stories about Mr. and Mrs. Williams who served as missionaries their entire lives. Mr. Williams was a medical doctor who could have been wealthy in dollars but he chose a life of service to God. I do want to make note of he CHOSE because he was free to choose because of those who fight for freedom for the rest of us. Anyway, after they retired back to the U.S. after living on dirt floors and modest surroundings for 40 years I was amazed to find them on a mission trip with us to Mexico providing medical services to the poor and needy. He focused on sharing the gospel more than numbers of patients. But that is not the point of why I admire this couple. The continued going on mission trips all over the world including working with the Kurds in northern Iraq for over 20 years after retiring! Last time I heard about Dr. and Mrs. Williams, yes they always went together, they were north of 85 years old and still serving.
The Williams did not end their careers at 65 but they started anew. They knew God was not through with them but only opening up more doors to serve. They must have grown up in the Osage.
What do you learn in the Osage?
- Persevere and rise up like an Eagle
- It ain't over until it is over
- You can do anything if you put your mind to it
- Failure is not who I am but a stepping stone to what I will become
Thanks for your time and pray for me as I really want to pass this test,
gary@thepioneerman.com
No comments:
Post a Comment