Life is a box of Chocolates

Forest Gump made that line famous and for a guy who seemed very simple he had a lot of wisdom.  I suggest you watch the show again.  Today I saw a Facebook page (the closest thing we had to Facebook was those pictures we passed around each year and traded with our friends) that said, "people just join the military because there too dumb to go to college...".  I had a cow over this one!  First off she spelled "they're" as "there" and second only because folks who had guts and gumption and cared about their freedom sacrificed for this country.  I wish I had her picture as I would post it for something to throw darts at.  Sure we Americans and our leaders make mistakes but overall it is infinitely better hear than anywhere else.  But this happenstance made me think about all the old folks that came out of Grainola and Shidler and literally every town in the Osage and beyond to fight for America.  Where were the intellectual cowards when it got down to protecting America?

Think about it for a minute.  How many people not only gave up their life and if they lived their quality of life because they were injured.  My first cousin, Stanley Patterson, a US Marine went to Vietnam twice and has paid for it his entire life.  Wayne Patterson, his older brother, was in the Bay of Pigs and their dad, Uncle Harley, was in WWII.  Arnold Jones of Grainola was a highly decorated soldier from Grainola, Andrew Glazebrook fought in WWI and WWII, Uncle Snyd (Vernon Snyder) was a prisoner of war with the Japanese and the list goes on and on.  Mark Whitt served for about 30+ years all for God and country.  Mark's dad (also Mark) was a veteran as well.  Then we have this sniveling punk kid spouting off remarks about military people.

OK, back to a box of chocolates.  In life we are blessed because you just don't know what is in that box of chocolates and sometimes you get one you just have to spit out.  Isn't life better when we can look at the contrast of the good and bad?  I was asked today if I had ever failed in a really big bad way.  Heck yes!  I would dare say there is not a single person out there who has not doubted their own abilities, talents, smarts (country for intelligence) and even looks.  In fact I know of at least two young teenage girls over the years who could have won most beauty contests and thought they were ugly and overweight.  I for one did very well in school both college and high school and have for years wanted to be smart like almost everyone around me.  We are harder on ourselves than anyone else and sometimes we take little bitty things that someone said and we make it into something horrible about ourselves.  Sure there are those who seem to always be confident but I bet you a dollar to a donut they doubt themselves many times.  We are all human beings and we have all messed up.  Just keep looking for that piece of chocolate with the caramel and a nut in it.  Time always passes and hurts, doubts and wounds heal.  I know folks think that I have lived a great life and everything turns into money.  Bull S___!  I just never have quit, thrown in the towel, screamed calf rope (anyone remember that one) or stopped trying.

Think of it this way I have a box of chocolates and in each one is a triumph or a tragedy and some are bigger and some are smaller than others.  So here is my pieces of chocolate:

1. got a great job right out of college working for Ross Perot
2. Moved to Dallas and then to Chicago
3. Got into Amway (hard work and lots of rejection, painful experience but made a lot of money)
4. Changed jobs and hated it
5. Had our first child (one of the very best things to every happen)
6. Moved to Oklahoma and a new job
7. While doing that started a chain of day care centers (big bad failure, bad idea)
8. Bought more day care centers (big bad idea)
9. Bought more real estate to average out of a bad deal (worked pretty good)
10. Bought a bank (president committed fraud, big bad idea)
11. Very successful career in data processing for banks while living in Oklahoma with short moves to Colorado and Texas then traveled all over the US.
12. Bought Auntie Anne's Pretzels stores (8 - all over Oklahoma)  - very bad idea
13. Started an armored car company - one of the worst ideas
14. built a business of owning and operating ATMs/money machines all over the US - very good idea for about five years then became a bad idea 
15. Bought more real estate, rental houses, offices, land, farms
16. Started development company for housing projects - very bad idea
17. Started home construction business - worst idea yet
18. Start commercial office building company - very good idea
19. Bought more land and a farm
20. Built the first Pumpkin Patch in Edmond - very good idea
21. Quit data processing company and started consulting company - not real bad but not good
22. Went back to finance industry = very good idea
23. Started software companies to build remote deposit applications for banks - so so
24. Built software for collection of bad checks - so so
25. Started selling credit card processing services to banks = Pretty good
26. 2007 and 2008 what can I say  -  bad bad bad but buy buy buy
1. if you don't get it what I am saying is it was a bad deal if you owned stuff but a great time to buy, which I did
27. Became a certified trust officer managing trusts - not great but not bad either
28. started a financial planning business - pretty smart
29. taught Sunday school to young marrieds and youth for 37 years - good idea
30. started a non-profit for adults with special needs - Wings - very good
31. Raised three children - very proud of them and the decisions they have made
32. Stayed married for 40 years as of December 21st, 2014 - pretty good idea

I left out so much but you get the idea.  You win and you lose but Never ever cheat, steal or lie.  Help others reach their goals.  Give a smile and encouragement to everyone.  Trust God when it gets dark even if you or me have not followed the straight and narrow.  Get up one more time than you get down.  Thank God for the blessings of opportunities that have gone bad.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

1. Persevere
2. Never, Never give up
3. Love life and forgive others will give you freedom from bondage of bad thinking

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

My old red bicycle

Every body had a bicycle but some had really nice ones.  At least that was my take on it.  I remember Larry, my brother, had a white Schwinn and I had a red one but not sure if it was a Schwinn.  Billy Snyder had one of those fancy racing bicycles with thin wheels verses my fat wheels.  It was always a challenge when you lived on a farm as there were stickers which would put holes in your tires so it seemed we were always fixing flat tires.

I remember that dad tried and tried to help me ride a bike but I was just was too clumsy.  He would hold the bike while I tried to get on but as soon as he would push me to get started then let go I would fall over.  Finally one day he put up two steel posts (actually they were wood posts as steel posts/T posts were not around yet) just far enough apart so that my rear tire would fit in between.  This made it stable enough that I could climb on the bike and then take off.  Probably one of the reasons I had so much trouble learning to ride a bike is that I was big for my age.  To put it in a nice way, I was huge for my age.  In the second grade I was over five foot tall and clumsy as can possibly be.  I tried over and over to ride that bike and mostly struggling to get on it and get started before falling on the gravel.  I tried to do it on grass but it was so hard to move on the grass that it was next to impossible but certainly easier on the knees and elbows.  Using my dad's new invention I could get started and of course the faster I went the easier it was but ultimately I had to stop and that was disaster for a long time.  I really did not care about the loss of blood because it was too important to conquer the bike.  Ultimately I won but there was another problem.  You probably are asking yourself why I did not use trainer wheels.  Two reasons:  The first is they bent when I fell over and I tore them up and second it was too expensive to keep buying more training wheels.

You see we lived on the dead end of a road one mile north and three west of Grainola on Beaver Creek.  What that meant was to get anywhere I had to go up three hills and down three hills all covered in loose gravel to get where there was a choice on direction/an intersection of roads.  Of course these were public roads and cars, trucks and animals all used them.  If you are not from cattle country you don't know that there always seemed to be a calf, steer or cow out on the road or Vea Harris had lots of white geese that possessed the road.  The good thing is usually you could see the dust in the air of a vehicle coming and you knew to get out of the way.  Keep in mind the gravel roads were really one lane and you had to get over to the edge to let someone get by.  I never gave it any thought but it was dangerous but I never knew of anyone getting hit by a car or truck.  There were plenty of bike wrecks as once Larry bit the dust going down hill and had terrible cuts and bruises and it took weeks for him to heel.

But overall bicycles were freedom for us.  Eddy Harris and I were always getting together for some sort of mischief.  Of course you know if you have been reading my blogs for long that one of our favorite sports was gathering the eggs and throwing them.  We got in a lot of trouble for that.  One thing about Eddy and I is we were good at  thinking up stuff to do.  You will probably think we are crazy but Eddy and I figured out how to get rid of the giant piles of red ants.  If you have never seen them you have no idea but they were big and there were thousands of ants.  Well Eddy and I figured that if we got some gasoline (we tried diesel but it was not as much fun)  and pour it down the hole we could lite it like a volcano.  Don't try this as you will need to get licensed and certified and inspected by the United States government and pay some fees then fight for years to get permission and in the end you will lose your right to freedom of speech and it will probably violate someones personal rights.  Was that political?

Eddy and I were never the sharpest rocks in the pile and besides a blind squirrel gets lucky every now and then and finds a nut but we were creative.  I don't know if anyone taught us how but we could fix flats on those bicycles better than about anyone and we soon learned to fix regular tires as well from all the pickups, tractors, trucks and bicycles.  It was especially easy when the Harris's got a tire repair machine like they had at the Duval Gas Station in Shidler.

Anyway, this was about the time we were 9 years old which will probably really shock you but we would try anything for fun. Our friendship never ended and now that Eddy has passed I still like to think about all of our good times like when we went prairie chicken hunting in the back of a flat bed pickup chasing the birds and shooting while driving.  We never did kill any that way but it was a heck of a ride.  Just for you we were probably half way grown by then, close to 13 or 14 years old.

Back to bicycles:  My love for bikes and riding those gravel roads lasted even after I got my first car.  Yes, my first vehicle was a car and not a pickup (truck for you city folks and again, yes, I am one now).

So what do you learn in the Osage?

1. Growing up is not hard to do but it can be hard on the folks
2. Children today need to live in the country and grow up with an opportunity to have clean fun
3. You can take a kid out of the country but you cannot take the country out of the kid

Thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com
www.thepioneerman.blogspot.com 

Mom

Well July 19th, 2014 was my mom's 86th birthday.  She grew up in Grainola or at least the school district of Grainola.  If you turn West at the first road on the North side of Grainola and go one mile (memory is failing me) then take a right (north) on the gravel road and go to the top of the hill where Bob Jackson now lives you will find where Mom grew up as Opal Wanetta Lane.

Don Casselman told me she was the prettiest girl out of Grainola but to me she was Mom.  This weekend I just tried to get her to tell stories about growing up there.  Now I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but here is what she said.  She said, "the women did all the work back in those days and the men talked and sat around but that ended with Grandma Annie".  Based on what I saw that is the truth.  Mom and Dad were the hardest working folks I have ever known with one exception, Grandma Annie!  It did not matter if there was anything to do they were doing something that was productive.  I think Mom could create work.  In fact I think one of the reasons Dad worked so hard is Mom thought up more to do than Dad cold ever possibly get done.  If she was not cooking, ironing (mom ironed everything:  sheets, t-shirts, jeans, maybe even socks) with lots of Niagra Spray Starch, cleaning (mom loved a clean and orderly house) she was working on us to get our 4-H projects or school projects or teaching Debbie, Sally Joe Shumate, Janie Shumate, Susie Snyder how to sew, or she was canning for the winter.  If all of that was done we were killing chickens and putting up chicken to fry during the winter.  And if that were not enough she had us weeding the garden which was anywhere from 1/2 to over 2 acres each year.  The garden actually got smaller over the years but most of the time it was close to 2 acres.

Mom could multi-task like no other.  I think she could iron clothes, watch "the Edge of Night", bake cookies or pies and keep me in line all at the same time while keeping a conversation with anyone going at the same time.  Mom will not like this part but she had some funny lines that I always liked:

• I have forty eleven things to do.
• If she did not think it was worth her time she would say, "I don't have time for that shit"
• If you are going to do it you might as well do it right.
• Would you rather do ??????????? or go to college

Mom was a motivator and a great example.  She cared how she looked and she darn sure cared how we looked.  I think if I had ever come home with a tattoo or ear ring she would have ripped my head off.  In fact what she probably would have said is, "if you have money for that then you don't need to live hear" .  I preferred her cooking over those type of luxuries.  

Mom was never an enabler of bad behavior.  Punishment was swift and certain.  If I would smart mouth her or dad it was guaranteed you got a trip immediately to the back porch where the freezer and a flyswatter or paddle would be waiting for my bottom.  She did not ask questions and it was best I not offer any excuses.  I know I was stronger but I knew who had the power and who cooked the meals and provided shelter.  Mom had expectations and it was not a choice to live up to them if I wanted to live there.  Of course she never said any of that but I felt it.  I remember making a remark how Jon Tanny got to do certain things at church and Mom suggested that I could go live with them then.  At church I use to get anxious at how long Kearney Graham or any preacher for that matter would go and if I could not control myself I received a pinch on the arm or leg.  Now that was not an ordinary pinch but one that would last for a few days.  Today we would call it child abuse but I would enlighten you that we have a lot more problems with bad behavior because parents do not pinch so it hurts and lasts.

I guess what I am saying is I really did and do have a perfect Mom.  Sure she made mistakes but I have never met a mom I respect more, honor more or love more.  Now I guess I should let you know and I would never believe it but after 40 years I believe I married a perfect wife, kinda like Mom.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Count your blessings that your mom cared enough to punish you for bad behavior even when it was tough to do so 
• Love encourages guidance even when we don't want it
• Consequences - there are always consequences for bad behavior and good - 
• would you rather have gotten a spanking when you were young or go to jail when you become an adult

• Mom was never mean, she just loved us enough 
• One of the greatest gifts I have ever received besides coming to know Christ was great parents who grew up in the Osage as parents and gave me their legacy   

Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com

What makes a good outlaw?

You probably think I am going to share with you about the Bad Lands or The One Armed Bandit/Johnny Payne (one of my classmates) but the answer is NOPE.  I am talking about the parents of the spouse which I commonly refer to as the Outlaws vs. Inlaws.  Fact is that reminds me of an old ????????
What is the definition of "Mixed Emotions"?  That is when your Mother-n-law drives over a cliff in your new Cadillac.

Well I have to say that I have been pretty lucky in that my Outlaws are pretty good or I should say "have been so far" because "it ain't over till it is over".  I knew I had a pretty good deal when I first met my mother-n-outlaw over 40 years ago.  My future wife / girlfriend and I went to El Reno and her mother was making chocolate chip cookies.  Now my mom made the best or maybe it was my sister, Debbie, but my mother-n-outlaw is right up there with them.  Now it was not the quality of her cookies that made the deal with her daughter seem like a good deal but the fact that she allowed me to test the cookie dough before it was cooked!  Yea!  My Mom would whack your hand for that.  It was not allowed to test the cookie dough or anything else in the kitchen.  Naomi (alias for mother-n-outlaw) even allowed me to snitch potato chips.

But my favorite story of the first time I met her was even better, at least for me.  She was preparing t-bone steaks and she wanted to know how I like my steaks.  Shouna told her I liked them medium to just past rare.  Naomi said in her sweet voice and her eyes and forehead wrinkled so as to say, you have got to be kidding, " why no one likes it like that".  And she was not asking a question but stating a fact.  It was one of those very sweet moments that make you know you have a keeper in an Outlaw.

Now I have to tell you about the father-n-outlaw.  I suppose he was a little disappointed in that he expected his daughter to bring home someone who could carry a tune more than on the car radio or at least could play a guitar or something.  Dale Davis never learned to read music but could play and sing any tune and any instrument and still does today at 87 years of age.  In fact he had surgery last year on his finger so he could play the guitar.  He had his finger made to permanently bend!

Every time I ever went to the house everyone was taken to the garage where there was a permanent band set up with piano, guitars and speakers.  I should probably tell you about that garage.  I don't think there was ever a car parked in it and it was huge.  Dale got to have a little space for tools and lawn mower but the rest was for Naomi.  She was and is the most thrifty person in the world.  I learned very quickly she was the "Garage Sale Queen".  For years we never had to buy much of nothing as she found everything at garage sales, clothes, tools, furniture, you name it - she found it.  Now I will have to say a few times I got a shirt that was a little too wild for me but she saved us thousands of dollars.  Shouna told me that growing up she had more clothes options than anyone and it was because of her mother and those garage sales.  The point is the garage and every ounce of space was utilized for Naomi's treasures.  I know I am having a little fun at her expense but she is by far the best blessing for a mother-n-outlaw you could ever have.

Even last night in the hospital after she had major surgery she discovered I had not eaten lunch and dinner and she started digging for food in her purse/bag while she was connected to all kinds of tubes and monitors.  That brings another point up about her.  After her surgery on Wednesday we named her "Iron Woman".  She woke up like nothing happened and started talking and has taken virtually NO pain medication and today is Friday.  She is tough.  I guess if you consider that Naomi is from Kiowa (down by MacAlester) and Dale is from Calvin (same) they must be pretty good country folks.

Well this is getting a little long and I do have lots more stories about the Outlaws which I will share.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• If you want to find a good woman, talk to her mom first
• Second, talk to her dad
• If a girl can cook and looks good you might consider keeping her for the long haul

In December we will be married 40 years, 25 happy years.  Not bad 25 out of 40!  Just kidding.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Off color but some things just never leave your memory

Remember the good old days when you could climb aboard the water tower at Shidler and sign your name or name your class and then there was some graffiti on the bridge where you would sign your name?  Well I was going around New York City the other day and some of these folks who do graffiti are really great artist!  In fact if they would take their talents and paint they would be a lot better off and probably would make some money.  But now I am going share with you some good old graffiti that I observed while growing up.

At the annual Osage County livestock show each March I would stay in the dorm above the livestock arena and it seemed that there was a lot of wisdom on the walls of the shower/bathrooms.  In particular I remember at the urinal:  Look Up, look up (until you were looking at the ceiling) and then it said, "look down you are peeing on your shoe".  I thought that was pretty good and still do.  Then there was the one in the toilet on the door, "please flush after use, Pawhuska needs drinking water".  How can you forget these tidbits of history and wisdom?

Then there is the oral graffiti which I contribute to Smitty's son (Grainola) who was in the third grade or maybe it was the first.  He first shared this on the school bus but later Mrs. Shumate shared it with me as he told it in class.  It was a poem, here goes and I warned you.

My name is Link

My shit stinks

My balls hang down 

Like log chain links

Now I know I should not have shared this tidbit but it still makes me laugh today. So if you are too offended then suck it up.  

Now you might not believe it but I am a conservative born again Christian that believes in the Resurrection of Christ and salvation through grace in spite of this story.  Growing up I had a lot of hangups about folks that took themselves too seriously and thought every person that took a drink or cursed a little did not love God.  But as I grew up what I realized is that all of us make mistakes and only the grace of God is important.  Not all that trivial stuff like not dancing, saying a bad word here or there or having a beer or the guy or girl that makes a mistake about sex or some other thing is important but ONLY your relationship with Christ makes a difference.  If any of this offends you or if you have a difference of opinion I make only ONE suggestion, read the Bible.  Don't take my word for it or any one's opinion because that does not matter.  It took me until I was 20 years old to really read the Bible and make a conscience decision about such matters.  I suggest you go for it.

How about you sharing some of those old graffiti's with me?

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• don't get your underwear in a wad 
• If someone tells you their opinion, check the facts before you take sides
• This is really going to surprise you, some democrats are right about some things and some republicans are right about some things and they are both wrong a lot of times.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

New York City

Here I sit in New York City again.  I find it very interesting but never better than the Osage.  My first visit was in 1970 on my way to live in the Netherlands for a few months.  It was then that I met Ed Sullivan and got a bloody nose riding on a bus going to the United Nations.  I was filled with curiosity and no fear.  Today it is different but the same.  People walking the streets all hours of the day from every walk of life and every country.  There are a few more electronic signs, actually a lot more as I recall there were NONE back then.  The taxi cabs are newer but just as dirty and the drivers don't speak much English.  Probably the biggest difference today is that back then I had no idea what to expect and today I get what I expect:  a lot of cars, thousands of people per block, streets are relatively dirty, bags of garbage stacked at the corners next to what use to be phone booths.   Yes, that is one big difference, there were lots of phone booths with those doors that folded up when you stepped inside.

• What else is different:  
• hair is no longer just brown, black, white, blond or gray but all of those plus PURPLE, PINK, RED, GREEN and sometimes Rainbows of colors.   
• Guys holding hands with guys and tattoos like you would not believe.   Back in the good old days about the only folks with tattoos were ex-Navy guys with anchors on their arms.  
• Shorts, everyone wears shorts but amazingly enough folks are dressed up like they are going to a party and girls are wearing dresses and high heels.  Now I am not speaking about those little short heels but I be you some of these are at least 6 inches.  It has to hurt.  Back in the old days you would never catch me in shorts but here I am today in shorts in NYC.
• Street performers everywhere.  I don't remember any back then but I may have just missed it.  But I am sure the performers back then were not dressed in the costumes like today.  I saw this guy wearing only underwear and a guitar!  Shouna even recognized him from some commercial.  Then there were two girls in itty bitty bikinis playing guitars and Preston gave them a thumbs up and said they were good.  I was wondering what that meant to him?
• Now I will have to say that NYC folks seem to be healthier looking than Oklahoma folks.  I suppose it is because they have to walk everywhere.  
• Soccer, yes, soccer is everywhere with the World Cup going lots of folks are wearing jerseys for their teams.  My son-in-law is from Columbia and he played soccer in college so he is in yellow today and lots of folks on the streets are wearing Columbia colors and USA soccer team colors and jerseys.  
• Believe it or not but I think most folks in NYC are pretty friendly and more so today than back then.  What changed?  Some say it was 9-11 and how it pulled folks together uniting them as one community.  

I do enjoy the city and watching the people but when it gets down to it I really like home and home is where the heart is.  Maybe another way of saying it is where my friends are is where my heart is.  One of my dearest all time friends was raised in Queens NY and he just texted me (WOW, we sure did not have that back in 1970) and I know that my heart is with him and his family just like it is with Edmond, OK and all of my Shidler/Grainola/Osage friends are: EVEN IF YOU ARE NO LONGER IN THE OSAGE.  So yes I do believe home, family and friends define where a  person's heart is.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Love is where you give it
• It is a choice to be happy where you are at
• Give the gift of friendship and you will never be lonely

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

a little divergence from normal

I cannot help but show you some of our flower garden as we are in peak season.  So here are a few pics.  And yes we did get our love of gardening from the Osage.

Thanks for looking,
gary@thepioneerman.com

Anticipation

I am still young but it is a relative term so let me start by saying that when I was very young I anticipated the end of school and the additional freedom it provided.  About the time I was in 5th, 6th and 7th and maybe the 8th grade each summer started off with hauling hay and getting ready for wheat harvest.  As soon as school was out and Bob Scott delivered us home we would head out to load up the fresh alfalfa hay and put it in the barns.  The smell of fresh alfalfa was wonderful.  In fact I liked the smells of farm life of every kind.  I never minded the hogs or chickens or the whatever was in the air.  The sun was warm and the winds were cool and the new babies were popping all over the farm.  It was often that in the night there would be a sow (female mother hog) delivering babies and with anticipation we wanted to know how many!  Generally there were at least 6 but sometimes 10 or more and mostly around 7 or 8 new babies in one litter.  The concern there was that the sow would not rollover on top of one of the babies and kill one or that there would be too many and not enough spigots on the sow to feed them all.  Hopefully that is self explanatory.  Then there were the new baby calves born early winter that were jumping and running and it was fun to catch them as long as the momma cow did not get too mad.  Back to the alfalfa.

Generally Dad or Larry had bailed up a bunch of hay so Larry or Billy Snyder (Gladys Snyder's son) would help and we would load the hay and put it in the barns.  In the early days you had to buck the bails on your knees and put it up on the truck while one person drove the truck and one person was on the back stacking the hay.  Luckily someone invented a hay loader which would pick up the bails and throw it up on the truck where you would grab it and stack.  I don't know why but it seemed that the objective was to always put on 100 bales on a load.  Typically at our house we had a four wheel flat bed trailer but when we were hauling at Uncle Snyd's we would load on a flat bed truck or a trailer or both.  As you may recall Uncle Snyd was the uncle who spent years in WWII in a prison of war camp run by the Japanese.  He was not very fond of them.

Another great thing about the spring was the anticipation of wheat harvest.  When it came, it came and went in a hurry.  Every combine in the area was hooked up, cleaned up and greased to make sure it was in working order and would stay that way.  During the early years we used an Allis Chalmers combine pull behind which attached to the Allis Chalmers tractor.  It cut a swath of about 8 feet as compared to the new combines which have cabs, radio, air conditioners, 40 foot headers (40 foot cut swath), and no tractor was needed to pull it.  That old combine could even harvest corn when it came time.  I don't remember for sure but I think it held 50 bushels of wheat before you had to dump the wheat into the truck.  It took several loads to fill a bobtail truck with racks on it.  The new ones have about 500 bushel hoppers and the trucks are bigger and most of the time the combine unloads while cutting into a cart which takes the wheat to a semi-truck/trailer which is several times bigger than the old bobtail trucks.  Amazing!  The fun thing was many of the farmers would work together and of course as we all hauled our wheat in to the elevator to sell it there would be a line of trucks waiting to be weighed and dumped at Dale's Feed Seed and Fertilizer store and Elevator.  Everyone got to see each other in one place and everyone was in a hurry to get there then wait their turn.  Everyone would be talking about wheat prices and how many bushels they were making.  I think this was actually an effort to be the best liar about how good your crop was.  We would all take the time to have a pepsi and a babyruth candy bar or a butterfinger while waiting.  It seemed that everyone took a little liberty to spend a little money at this time because it was basically one of the only two times a year a farmer would get income.  Can you imagine only getting a check twice a year and not even knowing for sure how much it might be?  That is farming and ranching.  It is the real gamble in life but one that is loved by many.  Just in case you don't know it the other payment is for when you would sell your calves that are ready to go to the feed lots and it would happen in the fall for the most part.

I think we were helping the Mcconaghy's one year when it was especially hot and I was riding in the back of one of the bobtails full of wheat and someone passed out beer to quench the thirst.  I had never seen my dad take a drink until that day and I got to taste it as well.  I really never cared too much for it but when it is hot and dusty like it gets during wheat harvest it tasted really good.  I was probably in the 7th grade then.

In my mind there was never enough time to get all I wanted done in a day then and still today.  Maybe there is a trend?  But I sure anticipated a break to go fishing after school was out.  It was that time of year when the fish seemed to bite the best and sitting under a shade tree anticipating that cork to go moving around a little just tickled my interest.  I loved it.

So how could it get any better than living in the Osage?

• It just can't
• I have found that life is good everywhere but you have to decide that for yourself.
• Tough times happen to EVERYONE but that is what makes good times and small things seem and feel soooooo good.
• Love living where ever you are and love the one you are with, it is a choice NOT an emotion.

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Kids and Dads

I guess every kid goes through a time when they want to be "just like Dad" and then they go through a period when they do not.  For me Dad was something more than cool, he was my example.  When I was very young I just wanted to be able to take as big of steps as he did and stay up with him as he moved so fast.  As I got older I wanted to be liked by everyone just like Dad.  He never seemed to have any enemies although I do remember a few times he sure got POed (Put Out for some and something else for the rest of us).  The only times I remember him being angry with someone was when he had helped a person out and they did not say "thank you".  He just never got over those kind of things.  The other funny thing is when he got mad it was at things, like machinery or a tractor or a hammer or a cow or bull but he never seemed to get angry with me or any particular person.  Now he would get disappointed with a bad behavior like the time I got in big trouble with the law (read back through the old stories and you will know what I am talking about).  Well anyway what I wanted to say about Dad was that he was a great example not by what he said but how he lived.

Every day of every week I believe he woke up with a list of things to do and a passion to get them done.  He could get ready to go to work faster than about anyone right up until the day before he went into the hospital at 87 which was the beginning of the end of a great life.  Now I could speculate that the reason he got up and out so fast was that he wanted to get his list done because Mom was one of the best at making a list of things to get done as well and if he hung around he would be working on her list rather than his, but who knows?  He did not ask for help from us kids, he assumed it as fact.  If I was not out of bed quickly in the morning I could be assured that in the spring a new baby cat or a few new puppies were going to wind up in my bed with me.  If there was nothing alive then he would bring me some ice and put it on me, then he would laugh and walk away.  He was my mentor.

Well that brings me to what drove me to write this story about my Dad's legacy.  His grandson, Richard Crow (Debbie's son), is about 90% like him.  Richard who lives in Perry, Oklahoma and has built GroundZero Storm Shelters to be the largest tornado shelter company in America is so much like him it blows my mind.  Richard gets up every morning around 4:30 and by about 10 or 11 he has done more work than most will get done in a day, just like Dad.  I would also want you to know he can be found loving his family and still working late into most evenings.  One big difference from dad is Richard is bigger by about 30 to 50 pounds but about the same height.  If I were in a fight I would have wanted Dad at my back although Richard would be a great backup.  Richard would also sweep dirt just to make it look neat and clean, just like Dad.  Now that I think about it Richard's brother Clifford is a great worker and just like Dad as well.  He is a fireman in Kingfisher and he wants everything to be done right, fast and now.  And another thought about Dad's legacy.  Chase, my oldest son, is a fireman in Edmond and in fact his picture is on the front of the Metro section of the Daily Oklahoman today 5/15/14, is also just like Dad in many ways.  He can figure things out like an engineer and fix about anything, just like Dad.  He works diligently everyday and purposes to get things done and quickly, just like Dad.

So what do we learn in the Osage?

• watch what you do because someone will repeat it and that will be your legacy, protect it
• your actions really do speak louder than words
• love can be seen by those you duplicate, think about it

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Clyde and Margie

Clyde and Margie Jackson were some pretty cool folks who lived on the hill west of Grainola where my mom and all the Lane sisters grew up plus two brothers, Uncle Bill and Uncle Don.  Now that I think about it we should write a few stories about those brothers.  Anyway, Clyde and Margie never seemed to get rich in money but they were rich in life.  I guess I am getting old because I cannot remember how many kids they had but off hand I remember Bob and Linda and as far as I know they turned out OK.  I know they did and Little Bob was the County Commissioner as I recall and Linda lives in Ark City (I think).

What I remember most is Clyde always had Farmall tractors and he could keep them running longer and better than anyone and he never needed a fancy bigger tractor or at least he was not willing to step out and buy one as his Farmalls worked just fine.  They raised cattle, chickens and hogs and I think they even had a few sheep.  Margie was a fine cook and she always took care of us when mom needed a baby sitter.  I will have to say that she made me mad one time and I don't remember why but I ran away.  The driveway was about a half mile long and I took off down the road and she caught me at the end of the driveway.  Maybe it was just because I was a growing boy but I remember she could really cook and it was fried chicken that I loved the most with the exception of her pies.

Friendly and unpretentious folks is what I liked about Clyde and Margie.  They were just nice to be around and they always had time to sit and talk or as I got older have a cup of coffee with.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could just show up at someones house and they had time to sit and visit and life was not so busy?  What happened?  TOO MUCH technology maybe?  Too many activities?  Too much stuff?

I don't know about you but I have learned one thing from not being in the Osage.  I have learned that the more stuff you have the more "stuff controls you".  We build bigger houses to hold more stuff and then we rent or build storage sheds to hold more stuff and we have bigger attics to store more stuff.  We even go to garage sales or to the malls to buy more stuff that we hardly ever use.  I guess I long for folks like Clyde and Margie who valued folks/friends/family more than stuff.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• stuff takes time and people take time but people are more important than stuff
• if we stop buying stuff we will have more time to help people
• time is more valuable than stuff

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Drivers Education and Coach Smith

Travis Eaton wrote a Facebook note asking about Drivers Ed and it reminded me of Coach Smith and my experiences with driving.

First off I cannot remember when I first drove because I drove a tractor and worked the fields when I was about 9 years old and probably drove the pickup to feed cattle even earlier.  I was always too big for my age so reaching the peddles was never a problem.  I was taller than Miss Shumate in the third grade and taller than Mrs. Casselman in the second.  Miss Shumate was about 5 foot tall, max.  Mrs. Casselman was about 5'1".  OK, back to the point.  Driving was a necessity and I remember Jon Tanny and Eddie always were driving just like me and no one cared and in fact folks tried to hire me to drive their tractors long before I was 16 years old.

So what about drivers education.  Coach Smith was my teacher and I don't really think he had a single thing to teach most of us so mostly we just drove around for an hour and stopped by the Dixie Dog for a refreshment or got out on the streets about town and practiced parking.  Really it was not much of an adventure except for the day I took my test.

That day I went down to the city hall as I recall to take the test which was no big deal but then I had to have someone go with me for a test drive in my car.  It was my red '62 Chevy which I had already owned and was driving to school each day from Grainola to Shidler (house to school of about 15 miles) that I took my test in.  I was really nervous about this part since I had never been in the situation before.  The testing person told me to back out of the angled parking place and lets go for a drive.  Well that was when things got a little sticky.  I was having to give the car a lot of gas to get it to back up and it was a three speed manual transmission with the gear shift on the steering shaft.  The testing person suggested that I might want to take off the emergency brake so it would not burn up my brakes.  "Good Idea", I said as my body broke out into a heavy sweat.  We took the car for a spin and about another 10 minutes went by and he told me to try a parallel park event.  Luckily I had read the book and knew how to pull up correctly to start the parallel parking but when I turned my wheels and started in reverse I wound up just about perpendicular to the curb in between two cars.  He suggested that I should just go on.  I was sure at this point I was in deep do-do and would not pass.  Luckily he gave me 2 points for pulling up correctly and I made a perfect score!  I made a 70! And it took a 70 to pass, therefore a perfect score.

Now that all was good news but let me tell you about the second time I tried to parallel park.  For some reason I decided to enter a state wide driving contest held at OSU each year during the annual 4-H convention.  Not only did I park parallel 100% correctly but I had literally never tried it since the day of my driving test.  And on top of that I drove the course in a record time dodging between markers and tennis balls because I was in a hurry to get to my next event which was a speech contest doing a demonstration.  Guess what?  I placed second in the state competition.

Just for funnies, the demonstration contest was a contest I had to qualify on the county and regional basis to be in the state finals.  I had not prepared a speech so the day of the speech I took a book I had read "The Five Fundamentals of Gold" by Ben Hogan and outlined the five points on a poster board, grabbed a golf club and went to the contest.  Much to my amazement I won the contest and the regional and then the state.  I practiced it ALL three times.  Pretty funny, huh?

Well I don't know about you but growing up in the Osage cannot be beaten by any class 5, 4, 3, or whatever class school.  I am a proud Shidler Tiger and a proud Osage and it don't get any better than that.  Yes, I meant to say don't.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• Learning is a journey and it is your choice what you want to get out of it
• The only limit on your potential is put on by you, it is a decision not your circumstance
• Today is the beginning of a new adventure and I expect to take part in it with a good attitude

Thanks for sharing your time with me,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What is success?

I am one of those folks who grew up thinking if I made a million dollars I would be successful especially if I did it before I was 30 years old.  I have always held in high esteem those who had fame and financial success but as I have gotten older I find success means much much more.

Last Saturday Bob and Jan Harris had a celebration of over 50 years of marriage.  Bob's sister Norma and her husband Johnny of Memphis area have been married 54 years.  Janis, the little sister, who now lives in Kansas with her husband must be over 40 years married.  All together that is three children of Vea and Gordon Harris who have stayed married a lifetime.  Eddy the youngest child, who was one of my dearest childhood friends, died about 10 years ago and Gordon,their father, died when they were young so you would have to say Vea was a very successful mother.  Oh my goodness, I forgot David and Jan who have been married longer than dirt and he is the oldest son of Vea and Gordon.

So what else makes up success?  I am going to get in trouble for this but my daughter, Wynter, has spent the first 10 years of her adult life as a missionary sacrificing the all-mighty dollar for helping others.  How about those who "raise your child up in the way they should go" (that is direct from the Bible) and focus on the relationship with their spouse and children (family) verses focusing on making money, are they successful?  ABSOLUTELY!  Now I want to make it clear that once we raise them and they are old enough to make decisions they are responsible for their mistakes and they reap the harvest of bad decisions as well as good ones.  

Success means a lot of things to different folks and I am grateful that it does mean a lot of different things to each of us.  How about all those military folks like Mark Whitt who were in the military for a career and never made a lot of money?  I think I would call that success.  How about all of those teachers who taught us so that we could go on and make a good living or even make a lot of money?  I think they were very successful.  

In summary I think success can be summed up as "doing the best you can in all endeavors and when things go wrong getting up and continuing on doing your best while still respecting others and being honest and having integrity in your life".  I had a friend say, "people can steel almost anything and everything from you but YOU have to give your integrity away", your choice.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Marriage is not easy but it is worth it
• Money is a tool not a destination
• Life is a journey and what you do with it is your choice, don't bitch about your choices
• Eternity is a choice even if you do not believe in it.  You might consider reading up on this one.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Luckily the Osage is somewhat isolated

What Happened?  Politics were so far removed from growing up in the Osage and for the most part much better when I was a kid.   About the biggest thing ever happened was re-electing the county commissioners which looking back were caught up in scandal but most of us never even knew that until thirty years later.  If you don't know what I am talking about go look up "county commissioner scandal in Oklahoma".  Then of course there was the county sheriff scandal in the early 1920's when they were being bribed.  Look up the "Osage Indian Murders" and you will find out what I mean.  But most of all politics were kind of cool when a new governor showed up for some event like visiting Codding Cattle Research to highlight a new Simmental Bull coming to America.  It did not matter to folks whether they were Republicans or Democrats as they were held in honor and celebrated for being leaders.  Sure there were discussions but not emotionally charged like they are today.  In fact that brings me to "The rest of the story".

There is a lot of clamoring about school regulation at the state and national level and health care and of course the military and about everything else you can think of.  Next they are going to try and legislate how to protect the cows from the heat (they already do that for dairy cattle).  They might even try to legislate where you can build a pond or plant your crops or cut down trees.  Oops, they already have.  I may be wrong but I just think local folks have more common sense about what to do locally.  I could be wrong but I thought I had the best teachers and administrators in Mr. Bias and Mr. Treadway and Mr. Morris not counting the teachers of Shumate, Himbury, Snyder, Head, Alverado, Morris, Gilbreth, Cothom, and the list goes on and on.  We might disagree on some of these but I bet you the majority of us turned out all-right.  I guess I believe all of us make bad decisions sometimes but if we just make good decisions most of the time and have a little faith in our Lord things are going to turn out OK.  I learned early in life that those who work hard deserve more. Some folks who work hard chose a profession that pays less in spite of the pay but it was their choice.  Some folks like teachers chose a profession that pays less money but get wonderful benefits during and in the end vs. others who chose to make a lot more money and have no guarantees on income, vacation, retirement or even retiring before age 67.  It is all about choices and we all have to make them.  If enough folks choose not to work for less pay (it is called free enterprise) then the employer has to pay more to attract them even if it is the schools or farmers, etc.. Farmers are the amazing ones as they have no guarantee of income or retirement but again it is a choice.  Such a wonderful thing about America, free choice.  I know that stinks somewhat but we do make our own bed and we have to sleep in it.  

Dad said many times that "if the government would get out of the farming business good farmers could make money".  He was also a believer in if a bad farmer makes bad decisions he will go out of business making it easier for the good farmer to make money.  I think we call that free enterprise.

Dad also made the point, "every time the government passes a law someone wins and someone looses".  It seems to me there is a lot of common sense in that.  I did learn in the Osage that if you cheat, steal and lie even if there is not a law against it directly  that you should be punished.  Bernie Madoff was a crook and should go to jail but did the government over-react to that?  ABSOLUTELY.  Read the new Dodd Frank laws and see how it hurts all of us more than the extremely wealthy.  You will be shocked.
National Health Care and Obomacare?  We already had national health care so that was nothing new.  Did we need some fixes?  ABSOLUTELY.  Was this a good fix?  You tell me.  Can we afford another national social program?  Social Security is in deep trouble but not because it was not funded well but because the government spent all the money on other things and cannot say no to more social welfare.  Medicare works but it is broken and getting worse.  Did you see the new law that is going to make it more difficult to get medicare to pay for hospital visits of one day?  Basically they shifted more expense to the consumer which means that those who can pay will have to and those who cannot pay will be subsidized by the government.  Lets make no mistake about this point.  The government is not paying this but the 50% who pay the taxes are paying it.

Well, where did all of this get us?  What did we learn in the Osage?

• We are a whole lot better off governing on a local level
• Schools and education on a local level make more sense and the dollars can be spent better when locally controlled by local values and local decisions
• People who work hard and do right should make decisions for those who cannot and it should be done on a local level, not a state or national level
• Local values are better and stronger than those put together by outsiders meaning those who are not farmers should not dictate to farmers and teachers know their students and need the power to teach and discipline on a local level dictated by a majority of folks on the local level
• We don't need more laws, we need more honest and local choices.  Perhaps we need to teach morals, ethics and values again and teach folks how to work hard and stay focused.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepoineerman.com