Watch what you are chewing!

 Now I don't know about you but growing up in the Osage most folks had chickens.  We had hundreds and it seemed like thousands.  A few things always amazed me about chickens.   

First, that chickens could sleep sitting on a very thin board or wire and not fall off.  Also chickens sleep in their nests and they poop a lot, even while they sleep.  The second thing is they sleep when it is dark, not a certain number of hours.  In fact, that is why egg laying farms keep a light on part time during the long winter nights so that the chickens will lay more eggs.  Yep, that is correct, they will lay more eggs if you just keep them awake.

OK, back to the story.  One time I was chewing some Wrigley's Spearmint gum (I was not a fan of most other types) and was gathering eggs at the time.  I accidentally lost my gum and when I looked down, I picked it up and started chewing.  To my surprise, it was not my gum.  If you ever saw chicken poop, you would know what the problem was.  Sure enough I was chewing chicken shit.  That might be why my dad always said I was a chicken shit.  Well, the lesson I learned is to be careful what you are chewing.

Just to add to that story, one time I tried some Redman tobacco after a track meet in Newkirk.  On the way back to Shidler on the bus I got so sick it was ridicules.  As soon as I got off that bus, I was tossing up chunks (do I need to explain?).  I never did have a desire to chew tobacco after that.

Now, one more short story about chewing RedMan tobacco.  Shouna and I were invited to a Western style party at Bill and Barbra Adams house in Oklahoma City.  We dressed up in western attire.  I even wore my old chaps from hauling hay and of course cowboy hat and the rest.  But I added a little flavor.  I had some RedMan sticking out of my back pocket to look very country.  I also had a big wad in my mouth/cheek.  I brought a pop bottle (for you dumb city folks, that is a soda bottle) with me to spit in just to look the part.  Everyone was grossed out as I would periodically spit in the bottle and finally after someone said something I shared that if you would swallow the wad, it would cure any worms and some other ailments.  I did just that right in front of everyone and they got really grossed out again.  The funny thing is what I had was the old black raisins in my mouth and that is what I swallowed.  The joke was on them.

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• watch what you chew.
• and don't believe everything you hear; I really did not drop my gum in the chicken house, but I loved the story.
• I did get sick the first and last time I tried chewing tobacco.
• A good joke can lead to a lot of laughter and is good for the soul.

Thanks for listening,

Gary

gary.olson@finaciti.com