what do you worry about?

I guess everyone has something to worry about and I am no different.  I am a pleaser at heart and have always liked making my folks proud which is easy to do because they are so forgiving of my mistakes.  I guess it took me years to figure that one out but today I hear a lot about what to worry about.

So what is on your worrying mind?

• Presidential election - two numb-skulls running for office and neither one fit for dog catcher
•      Now, don't get POed at me cause I am just repeating someone else's remarks.
• What is going on in this world that people don't work hard and are not interested in getting ahead by doing a good job then being recognized for their efforts.  
• Morals are watered down so that no one is marginalized
• the good old days are gone
• health insurance even Obama Care is out of reach for those who have a job and some money
• the stock market is going to crash
• interest rates are too low
• interest rates are going to go up

We all have something to worry about even though we should be happy and looking up for the future.

So what can we do to get past all this worrying?

• the easy answer is put God first in your life and let him handle the hard stuff
• the hard thing is putting it all in the the hands of God and not worrying

OK, solutions, yes I have them.

• STOP WORRYING cause that will not make a hill of beans difference
• Look for the good going on around you
• Invest in your family with time
• Share good thoughts about others
• read a good book
• encourage someone every day

One of the things I find that creates the most anxiety and worry in me is SPECULATING on something.  How many times have you gotten your underwear in a wad and the outcome was not even close?  I bet it is by far most of the time.

Well, I guess we should stop right here and do - you know what.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• worrying about something will not get anything done, stop it and do something and just like my dad, Clifford Olson, use to say, " let's do something even if it is wrong".
• Action will overcome fear and worry, DO SOMETHING! You are responsible for YOU and your actions, don't blame anyone for your circumstances
• America the Beautiful is going to be fine if everyone does their part and stops BITCHING

Get over it and let's do something good for somebody else,

thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Wet wooly

I don't know where that name came from but it reminds me of the first time I experienced it.

One of the delights of growing up in the Osage was good friends dropping by the house.  The Shumates had come by and that would include Mrs. Shumate, Sally and Janie.  Sally, Larry and I were sitting on our dark brown couch.  By the way, that couch lasted for at least 20 years before it was recovered and I don't think it really needed covered except that Mom wanted a new look/cover.  So back to the story:  Larry was sitting on the end of the couch with Sally next then me while we were watching TV (2 channels only, 2 and 6).  I think it was Sally who put her finger in her mouth and got it very wet then with stealth like movement she placed it in my ear!  I immediately assumed it was Larry and shoved Sally out of the way and hit Larry as hard as I could on the shoulder.  He rolled over the arm of the couch and onto the floor. Those were great times with great friends. 

Now I have to admit I have used "wet Woolies" many times.  But I learned the hard way that once you are married you don't wet wooly your wife and not get retaliation and once you get older they don't even retaliate they just get mad.  So I don't do that too much anymore.  You know there are a lot of silly games we play with each other and that is what makes a relationship fun and lasting.  I hope we never get too old to joke around with each other and tease.  I guess I just have never grown up but Shouna and I have a wonderful marriage and as of two days ago we are FINALLY grandparents.  In fact I can use your help.  Shouna thinks we should be called Lolli and Pops or Lollipops and I think I should be called Big Popa.  What do you think?  I want a vote.  Mike Cunningham of Cunningham Advisers says it is real simple on getting named on what you want to be named.  He says that when they are a child you just say, "what is my name?"  and if they get it right you give them a dollar.  Works for me.  We will see.

Back to the Wet Woolies.  I do have to tell you that when dating it is not a good idea and that may be just why I could never get a date, especially in high school. 

Well, I have to go as the tractor will not start at Wings and they are calling me so:

What do you learn in the Osage?

• A wet  wooly is not about the story in the Bible when the wool was set outside waiting on a sign from God that if it was wet one night and dry the next
• A wet wooly is a sick way to flirt with a girl
• If a girl cannot take a wet wooly she does not have a good sense of humor and you should not date her
• The joy of the Lord is in my faith and an occasional wet wooly.

Go try it on your wife,

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Bob and Lizzy

There can only be one Bob and Lizzy Scott and they literally took care of everything at Grainola Grade School where I spent a lot of my early life.  Bob drove the bus and maintained the building, yes one building for the entire school, and he cleaned it and he fixed everything.  Lizzy cooked and cleaned the kitchen and loved everyone of us.  I never heard them complain and I never knew them not to help out even if it were not a standard school event like the annual basketball game for old timers or a square dance where Carl McConaghy played the fiddle or the Grainola District fair where Eva Kelly and all the Kelly clan had something in the fair to even the Lord's Acre Sale where they raised money for the local Methodist Church.  Now I do realize I was a kid and did not know of all the conflict or frustration or work that went into each of these events but I did know one thing and that was EVERYONE in the community chipped in to help get ready and clean up.  No excuses just community rather you were a democrat or republican.  In those days Democrats outnumbered Republicans but luckily that has changed.  Whooppps, someone just got mad.

Lizzy was always old to me and she stood with a slight bend to her shoulders but she could cook.  I especially liked her sloppy joe hamburgers which I think was the same thing she put on spaghetti which I thoroughly loved as well.  She served, she cooked and she cleaned without help.

Now what brought me to remember Bob and Lizzy was thinking about that old coal fired heater in the basement of the school.  You see we never had air conditioning and as I recall everyone turned out ok and some folks were even successful.  A little sarcasm for those who complain about todays facilities.  Our doors leaked and our windows leaked and we had those old hot water heater/furnaces.  Well, anyway I was always curious about that basement and Bob gave very limited access to anyone so one time my first cousin and the son of the famous Gladys Snyder and I broke into the school basement from the east side of the building where there were some old stairs and an old door.  I honestly don't remember how Billy did it but he got us in there and we took our flash lights and went exploring.  That basement had to be 12 feet deep at a minimum and seemed to be the entire size of the basketball stadium because it was below the court and the bleachers.   Each year at least once per year there would be a delivery of coal which was dumped into the basement to fire up the heater.  It was magical and it was cold and damp and down right scary like one of those Alfred Hitchcock movies.  Do you remember The Cask of Amontillado?  If you have not read or watched it, it is a classic and at least in those days would scare the bijibbies out of you.  I never did know what bijibbies was and certainly do not know how to spell it.  But if you were in that basement you would feel them all around you. 

Well after exploring the basement Billy and I went upstairs and discovered the old locks on the old doors were easily broken into if you had a skeleton key (as we called  them).  We never did get caught and we did not mess with things, we just looked around and enjoyed the adventure.  Back then even if you got caught you would get a paddling from Bob ( I assume or from the principal, Lewis Morris) and then certainly one from home but you would never get kicked out of school.  Now here is one question you can help me with.

What good does it do to kick a trouble maker out of school?  It seems to me that you just gave freedom to the person who got in trouble.  That is NOT punishment, kind of like everyone getting a trophy for participation.   What a joke!  What idiot thought of that one?  I guess I made someone mad with that one as well.  If you want someone to change their ways you PUNISH them not reward them and rehabilitation is a joke in my opinion, for the most part anyway. 

My brother in law, Rocky Carter a football coach retired and I hope he does not get mad because I am getting ready to quote him, told me one time when he had four of his football players kicked off the team for smoking pot because of school policy.  He even thought it was stupid because he could have made them work harder, run laps and make a personal decision that the reward was not worth it.  But instead they were put on the streets so their grades when they got back would be worse and they would not get to participate in sports, one of the few things they really wanted to do, and of course they would be mad and more disrespectful and more likely to grow up with bad habits and make more bad decisions.  I make a motion that we stop getting stupider and stupider and use some common sense.

Oh well, I have gone too long so:  What do you learn in the Osage?

• let local folks who understand the situation make decisions about how to punish a person based on the situation and keep the lawyers (oopps, just made another one mad) and bureaucrats (dog-gone-it, made another one mad) out of it.
• Local coaches, teachers and administrators and even cooks, maintenance folks, bus drivers can make better decisions than a person 100 miles or more away in an office with nothing to do but write policy on something they do not understand or have the common sense to fix (I am chalking up a bunch of offenses)
• In case you make too many people mad, HIDE or duck your head so they don't hit you

Thanks for listening,
thepioneerman.com

 

Bloated and gased

Now I have to tell you that my Dad, Clifford Olson, was a bit ornery.  In fact for a while my nickname was Ornery while I lived in Chicago area.  I guess some would say a nut does not fall too far from the tree.  I hope I do not have to explain this metaphor.  I could give you a definition for metaphor. 

Metaphor - that is when a person has a blind date that did not last too long so you would say, "he met-er-fer a few minutes".

glad I got that off my chest.

Well, anyway, I had this show steer (meaning I had a steer which I was raising for a livestock show) that got out and ate some green alfalfa and got bloated.  Let me explain.  Bloated is like when you eat too many beans at one sitting and you get filled up with gas.  The problem is that cattle don't handle gas too easily and can actually die from bloat.  So here are a few solutions:

first one- take a long pocket knife and punch a hole into the side of the cow or steer and punch a hole into the stomach to allow the gas to escape.  This solution is not too good and has potential other side effects.  I am not going to explain.

Second method- take a water hose, yes water hose, and have one person hold the steers mouth open.  I would also suggest having the steer tied to a post as it will run right over you and at about 1200 pounds you will lose.  Anyway, the other person should take the water hose and stuff down the throat of the steer until you start to hear or smell the gas escaping and boy does it stink just like you can imagine.  If Steve Chrisco or Pee Wee were still alive they could tell you how a fart smells like the gas from a steer.  That comes from one of my older stories so go look for it.

OK, so here is where Dad comes into the picture.  I was holding the steers head when dad stuffed the hose down the throat of the calf.  It was everything I could do to keep that steer from killing me.  Dad proceeded to take the end of the water hose not inside the steer and putting it under my arm so the gas would escape directly in my face.  It was and dad was a stinker for that one.  Another thing dad taught me that day is that gas from the steer is like gas for a heater, it burns.  Dad always carried around a cigarette lighter as he smoked about two packs a day and lit the gas as it escaped the end of the hose.  Dad just laughed as he was having a good time teaching me.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A little fun is good when you work
• Fun at someone else's expense can be fun as well, just make sure no one gets hurt
• If the government had anything to do with it we would have had to fill out several forms and get a permit and the calf/steer would have died.
• Common sense is better than a brilliant bureaucrat

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com