What is wrong with old fashioned values?

Obviously I grew up on the farm in Osage county with fantastic parents that protected me from the world and ultimately from myself and those stupid decisions a child can make when everything is so exaggerated by emotions and perceptions.

Mom and dad literally worked seven days a week but church was important for reasons I am not sure I understood as a child and they did not explain the why it was important.  We just went on Sundays, every Sunday, as proof I had an 8 year Sunday school pin for perfect attendance.  Did I tell you we were Lutherans until about the time I was 8 and we switched to Methodist.  What I remember about that is Larry and Debbie wanted to go to Grainola Methodist Church because that is where most of the kids in Grainola went to church.  It was good enough reason for me.  I never asked why.  Now back to the work comment.  We had a dairy and cows give milk 7 days a week and twice a day so there is no choice.  Well, yes there is and mom and dad took that option when I was about 9.  They got rid of the dairy cows except for old Jerz (ey).  We kept her to provide milk, butter and cream for the house.  We counted that she fed over 24 calves in her life plus all of us kids and mom and dad and a few friends and neighbors. 

So what does this have to do with values.  I don’t know, I never asked but looking back here is what I figured out:

• ·       You don’t have to tell people about your values if they can see them every day in your life
• ·       You don’t have to ask about values if you know what is expected of you
• ·       If your expectations are low then you will get low values

OK, so what values did I see:

• ·       Discipline – get your but out of bed and go to work if you want to eat.  They never said it but I knew they believed it was right.
• ·       Perseverance – no matter what the weather was or if I was feeling ill or if they were feeling ill or down/mopping the work had to be done.  PERIOD!
• ·       Share – share what you have with others even if you are a little short.  I saw it literally hundreds of times where they gave to others of their time and talent and food even when they could have used a little help.
• ·       Respect and love God – I don’t remember ever hearing them say, “believe in God”, they just did every day of every week.

Well, I could go on but  I have to tell you my folks were of few words but their actions spoke louder than any person I knew growing up.

So what did I learn about old fashioned values in the Osage?

• ·       Talk little and your words will be heard all over
• ·       Don’t hesitate to do what needs to be done
• ·       Expect the best and you will get it
• ·       Give the best and you will get it

I love the Osage!

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What next?

Well, this is 2016 and the presidential election is over.  I am not sure that anyone is totally happy with what happened but more happy with what did not happen.  The market did not crash and for some, happiness was Hillary not being elected.  It does not matter what your choice but that we have a democracy and democracy Won.  Losers, get over it.  Winners, be humble.  This is America first and there are NO groups of folks as we are all Americans or want-a-Be's and that is it.  Now I am not prejudice but if someone is in America and does not WANT TO BE then that is fine but you do not get all the benefits of being an American.  

Being from the Osage I remember Joe Conner (1961) was pro John Kennedy for President and I thought he was crazy even though i was almost 10 years old.  Looking back I believe Joe was a brave man and very articulate (he was about 14 years old).  His boldness was an example to me that a person can have conviction and not be violent or mean.  He was and I hope today, is the good man that a little boy observed so many years ago.  My mom and dad voted the opposite of each other on Kennedy and many thought it was a GIANT problem.  I think history has proven that God owned it then and still does.  John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson made a great difference and Kennedy certainly got the honors for what Johnson completed but I don't think anyone could argue that Lyndon Johnson was the purest of persons nor Kennedy who has his moral challenges.  They both did some good and even great things so lets give credit where credit is due and get over their faults.

In fact when Obama was elected many folks had all kinds of conspiracy theories and concerns and almost all were unwarranted.  Oh sure, we did get Obama Care and at least for me and my family it is a disaster.  Since Obama took office we have gone from about $325 per month to at the beginning of Obama Care around $620 per month to just announced $2360 per month for health insurance.  OUCH!   It does not matter which side you are on this was one of the boldest miss-representation of the facts in American history.  I am glad the barrier was broken with Obama but I am very sad for the division of people into ethnic or cultural groups.  I am setting here waiting to have a procedure on Preston's eyes in California and there is a show "The View" with Whoopi and company and it is totally disgusting.  They are slandering the newly elected president and not giving him a chance.  Once again why don't we stop listening to the slander and look for the facts.  I was just listening to one of the slanders about Trump and did a little research and found that he has a higher percentage of women in leadership positions and pays them in line with all the men but why is that never discussed?  I think we find what we are looking for not the whole truth.  In fact I remember Aunt Gladys Snyder who was a very one sided Democrat who insisted we get the facts and not listen to what others say because what  others say is how they see it, NOT the truth.  That actually reminds me of something I learned the hard way:  There are three sides to every story, His side, Her side and the truth.

  When is everyone going to get so tired of the bias in media that we quit watching the crazies including ALL of the networks.  Let's stop watching the movies of those who are so disgustingly immoral plus the TV and start talking to each other about what matters most, family.  What ever happened to Walter Cronkite and David Brinkley and the Paul Harvey's of the world?  What happened to news and stories where the facts were checked and both sides given so that the public can make informed decisions.  Let's stop letting the media divide us and let Free Enterprise reign again.  It seems we are choking out our rights with every new law.  We fixed the mortgage industry and eliminated almost 70% of the competition.  We fixed banking so now the top 5 banks in America control more assets than the over 5000 other financials institutions combined.  We have 5000 fewer banks today.  We have protected the consumer from predatory lending so now if you want a loan below $100,000 very few banks will even talk to you.  I should correct myself, not banks but financial institutions.  And here is an interesting fact credit unions were formed for small groups of folks to form a co-op type financial institution with common interest and it does NOT pay taxes but competes with banks who do.  And here is an interesting question:  Why do we regulate banks so they cannot fail and force them to pay insurance in case they do when they are owned by stockholders who invest at their own risk?  Do I need to explain?

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Joe Conner had it right
• Respect democracy and America
• Give everyone a chance 
• Every new law takes away someones freedom

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

what do you worry about?

I guess everyone has something to worry about and I am no different.  I am a pleaser at heart and have always liked making my folks proud which is easy to do because they are so forgiving of my mistakes.  I guess it took me years to figure that one out but today I hear a lot about what to worry about.

So what is on your worrying mind?

• Presidential election - two numb-skulls running for office and neither one fit for dog catcher
•      Now, don't get POed at me cause I am just repeating someone else's remarks.
• What is going on in this world that people don't work hard and are not interested in getting ahead by doing a good job then being recognized for their efforts.  
• Morals are watered down so that no one is marginalized
• the good old days are gone
• health insurance even Obama Care is out of reach for those who have a job and some money
• the stock market is going to crash
• interest rates are too low
• interest rates are going to go up

We all have something to worry about even though we should be happy and looking up for the future.

So what can we do to get past all this worrying?

• the easy answer is put God first in your life and let him handle the hard stuff
• the hard thing is putting it all in the the hands of God and not worrying

OK, solutions, yes I have them.

• STOP WORRYING cause that will not make a hill of beans difference
• Look for the good going on around you
• Invest in your family with time
• Share good thoughts about others
• read a good book
• encourage someone every day

One of the things I find that creates the most anxiety and worry in me is SPECULATING on something.  How many times have you gotten your underwear in a wad and the outcome was not even close?  I bet it is by far most of the time.

Well, I guess we should stop right here and do - you know what.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• worrying about something will not get anything done, stop it and do something and just like my dad, Clifford Olson, use to say, " let's do something even if it is wrong".
• Action will overcome fear and worry, DO SOMETHING! You are responsible for YOU and your actions, don't blame anyone for your circumstances
• America the Beautiful is going to be fine if everyone does their part and stops BITCHING

Get over it and let's do something good for somebody else,

thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Wet wooly

I don't know where that name came from but it reminds me of the first time I experienced it.

One of the delights of growing up in the Osage was good friends dropping by the house.  The Shumates had come by and that would include Mrs. Shumate, Sally and Janie.  Sally, Larry and I were sitting on our dark brown couch.  By the way, that couch lasted for at least 20 years before it was recovered and I don't think it really needed covered except that Mom wanted a new look/cover.  So back to the story:  Larry was sitting on the end of the couch with Sally next then me while we were watching TV (2 channels only, 2 and 6).  I think it was Sally who put her finger in her mouth and got it very wet then with stealth like movement she placed it in my ear!  I immediately assumed it was Larry and shoved Sally out of the way and hit Larry as hard as I could on the shoulder.  He rolled over the arm of the couch and onto the floor. Those were great times with great friends. 

Now I have to admit I have used "wet Woolies" many times.  But I learned the hard way that once you are married you don't wet wooly your wife and not get retaliation and once you get older they don't even retaliate they just get mad.  So I don't do that too much anymore.  You know there are a lot of silly games we play with each other and that is what makes a relationship fun and lasting.  I hope we never get too old to joke around with each other and tease.  I guess I just have never grown up but Shouna and I have a wonderful marriage and as of two days ago we are FINALLY grandparents.  In fact I can use your help.  Shouna thinks we should be called Lolli and Pops or Lollipops and I think I should be called Big Popa.  What do you think?  I want a vote.  Mike Cunningham of Cunningham Advisers says it is real simple on getting named on what you want to be named.  He says that when they are a child you just say, "what is my name?"  and if they get it right you give them a dollar.  Works for me.  We will see.

Back to the Wet Woolies.  I do have to tell you that when dating it is not a good idea and that may be just why I could never get a date, especially in high school. 

Well, I have to go as the tractor will not start at Wings and they are calling me so:

What do you learn in the Osage?

• A wet  wooly is not about the story in the Bible when the wool was set outside waiting on a sign from God that if it was wet one night and dry the next
• A wet wooly is a sick way to flirt with a girl
• If a girl cannot take a wet wooly she does not have a good sense of humor and you should not date her
• The joy of the Lord is in my faith and an occasional wet wooly.

Go try it on your wife,

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Bob and Lizzy

There can only be one Bob and Lizzy Scott and they literally took care of everything at Grainola Grade School where I spent a lot of my early life.  Bob drove the bus and maintained the building, yes one building for the entire school, and he cleaned it and he fixed everything.  Lizzy cooked and cleaned the kitchen and loved everyone of us.  I never heard them complain and I never knew them not to help out even if it were not a standard school event like the annual basketball game for old timers or a square dance where Carl McConaghy played the fiddle or the Grainola District fair where Eva Kelly and all the Kelly clan had something in the fair to even the Lord's Acre Sale where they raised money for the local Methodist Church.  Now I do realize I was a kid and did not know of all the conflict or frustration or work that went into each of these events but I did know one thing and that was EVERYONE in the community chipped in to help get ready and clean up.  No excuses just community rather you were a democrat or republican.  In those days Democrats outnumbered Republicans but luckily that has changed.  Whooppps, someone just got mad.

Lizzy was always old to me and she stood with a slight bend to her shoulders but she could cook.  I especially liked her sloppy joe hamburgers which I think was the same thing she put on spaghetti which I thoroughly loved as well.  She served, she cooked and she cleaned without help.

Now what brought me to remember Bob and Lizzy was thinking about that old coal fired heater in the basement of the school.  You see we never had air conditioning and as I recall everyone turned out ok and some folks were even successful.  A little sarcasm for those who complain about todays facilities.  Our doors leaked and our windows leaked and we had those old hot water heater/furnaces.  Well, anyway I was always curious about that basement and Bob gave very limited access to anyone so one time my first cousin and the son of the famous Gladys Snyder and I broke into the school basement from the east side of the building where there were some old stairs and an old door.  I honestly don't remember how Billy did it but he got us in there and we took our flash lights and went exploring.  That basement had to be 12 feet deep at a minimum and seemed to be the entire size of the basketball stadium because it was below the court and the bleachers.   Each year at least once per year there would be a delivery of coal which was dumped into the basement to fire up the heater.  It was magical and it was cold and damp and down right scary like one of those Alfred Hitchcock movies.  Do you remember The Cask of Amontillado?  If you have not read or watched it, it is a classic and at least in those days would scare the bijibbies out of you.  I never did know what bijibbies was and certainly do not know how to spell it.  But if you were in that basement you would feel them all around you. 

Well after exploring the basement Billy and I went upstairs and discovered the old locks on the old doors were easily broken into if you had a skeleton key (as we called  them).  We never did get caught and we did not mess with things, we just looked around and enjoyed the adventure.  Back then even if you got caught you would get a paddling from Bob ( I assume or from the principal, Lewis Morris) and then certainly one from home but you would never get kicked out of school.  Now here is one question you can help me with.

What good does it do to kick a trouble maker out of school?  It seems to me that you just gave freedom to the person who got in trouble.  That is NOT punishment, kind of like everyone getting a trophy for participation.   What a joke!  What idiot thought of that one?  I guess I made someone mad with that one as well.  If you want someone to change their ways you PUNISH them not reward them and rehabilitation is a joke in my opinion, for the most part anyway. 

My brother in law, Rocky Carter a football coach retired and I hope he does not get mad because I am getting ready to quote him, told me one time when he had four of his football players kicked off the team for smoking pot because of school policy.  He even thought it was stupid because he could have made them work harder, run laps and make a personal decision that the reward was not worth it.  But instead they were put on the streets so their grades when they got back would be worse and they would not get to participate in sports, one of the few things they really wanted to do, and of course they would be mad and more disrespectful and more likely to grow up with bad habits and make more bad decisions.  I make a motion that we stop getting stupider and stupider and use some common sense.

Oh well, I have gone too long so:  What do you learn in the Osage?

• let local folks who understand the situation make decisions about how to punish a person based on the situation and keep the lawyers (oopps, just made another one mad) and bureaucrats (dog-gone-it, made another one mad) out of it.
• Local coaches, teachers and administrators and even cooks, maintenance folks, bus drivers can make better decisions than a person 100 miles or more away in an office with nothing to do but write policy on something they do not understand or have the common sense to fix (I am chalking up a bunch of offenses)
• In case you make too many people mad, HIDE or duck your head so they don't hit you

Thanks for listening,
thepioneerman.com

 

Bloated and gased

Now I have to tell you that my Dad, Clifford Olson, was a bit ornery.  In fact for a while my nickname was Ornery while I lived in Chicago area.  I guess some would say a nut does not fall too far from the tree.  I hope I do not have to explain this metaphor.  I could give you a definition for metaphor. 

Metaphor - that is when a person has a blind date that did not last too long so you would say, "he met-er-fer a few minutes".

glad I got that off my chest.

Well, anyway, I had this show steer (meaning I had a steer which I was raising for a livestock show) that got out and ate some green alfalfa and got bloated.  Let me explain.  Bloated is like when you eat too many beans at one sitting and you get filled up with gas.  The problem is that cattle don't handle gas too easily and can actually die from bloat.  So here are a few solutions:

first one- take a long pocket knife and punch a hole into the side of the cow or steer and punch a hole into the stomach to allow the gas to escape.  This solution is not too good and has potential other side effects.  I am not going to explain.

Second method- take a water hose, yes water hose, and have one person hold the steers mouth open.  I would also suggest having the steer tied to a post as it will run right over you and at about 1200 pounds you will lose.  Anyway, the other person should take the water hose and stuff down the throat of the steer until you start to hear or smell the gas escaping and boy does it stink just like you can imagine.  If Steve Chrisco or Pee Wee were still alive they could tell you how a fart smells like the gas from a steer.  That comes from one of my older stories so go look for it.

OK, so here is where Dad comes into the picture.  I was holding the steers head when dad stuffed the hose down the throat of the calf.  It was everything I could do to keep that steer from killing me.  Dad proceeded to take the end of the water hose not inside the steer and putting it under my arm so the gas would escape directly in my face.  It was and dad was a stinker for that one.  Another thing dad taught me that day is that gas from the steer is like gas for a heater, it burns.  Dad always carried around a cigarette lighter as he smoked about two packs a day and lit the gas as it escaped the end of the hose.  Dad just laughed as he was having a good time teaching me.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A little fun is good when you work
• Fun at someone else's expense can be fun as well, just make sure no one gets hurt
• If the government had anything to do with it we would have had to fill out several forms and get a permit and the calf/steer would have died.
• Common sense is better than a brilliant bureaucrat

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

How do you know if Connie Arrington told someone about my mom?

Connie Arrington, wife of Gene, mother of Rocky, Stony, and Stephanie broke her arm and was having surgery which brought several of us together in OKC which gave us time to talk about some of the "good old days".  One of the things which I had totally forgot was that my mom had a name that no one ever used except Connie.  Although today when talking to Terry (Stephanie's husband) I realized he was talking about my mom when he was saying Neit (sounds like Neat).  Connie is the only person I remember ever calling mom, Neit.  It is one of those endearing names you use only with a special friend.  Connie and Mom were very close. Can anyone pick out Neit?  This is the Lane family.

Can anyone guess who these Grainola folks are?

Terry surprised me with how much he enjoyed being around Neit and how they use to go over to our old house on the creek and visit with Mom and Dad.  This made me realize just how much I missed when I left Shidler and Grainola.   The great thing about those days was we had time to receive guests who just dropped in or those who called at the last minute.  We stopped everything including TV and talked and many times broke out the deck of cards and played or sometimes dominoes or checkers.  I am afraid that today we are so dawgone (yes that is a word not found in your ordinary dictionary) busy we don't have time to breath, much less visit with folks.  Who is running our lives and what is important?  So here are a few questions to stir things up.

1. is it more important to have your child be involved in several sports or learn to communicate with adults and other children outside of school?  I am just saying!  You be your own judge.
2. Is it important that you children or even spouse watch every football game or play video games or learn to enjoy other folks?
3. Is it more important to cherish old friendships and nurture those along or is it better to stretch our center of influence or the number of contacts in our cell phones?

Well, I am not going to answer your questions but I am going to say that I have never regretted getting in contact with old Shidler or Grainola friends or acquaintances but I have regretted being too busy for those friends.  I can also say I have never regretted spending one minute with my children but I have regretted spending so much time at the office or traveling for work.  I was blessed to have a workaholic dad but I always got to work with him.  I cherish those memories.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• When you are carrying a load down the gravel road it gets heavy but when you are visiting with a friend while you carry that load you forget about the load and cherish the friend.
• It is not what we say to our children but what they watch us do and how they see us treat other folks that builds character in them and ultimately making them wanting to spend time with us as we grow older.
• Honor thy mother and father and treat thy neighbor as ya'll want to be treated

Thanks for listening,
thepioneerman.com

 

Mentoring

If you would  have asked me about mentoring someone in the past I would have said it is not for me.  What I did not know is that I have been mentoring folks my entire life and just did not know it.  Now you are probably assuming (assuming is a bad thing if you know what I mean) that mentoring is always positive but that is just not true.

For example, if you spend your life being critical of folks for what they do or even for what they do not do you are mentoring.  And yes, I am using the word mentoring very liberally and you could use the word influencing but I kind of like mentoring.  More specifically, I have a friend who always introduces me as his mentor for many years.  I felt complimented knowing that he is a very moral and ethical person (those are two very distinct things) and is quit successful by man's measurement.  Ok, let me explain.  He has built a very successful company that is profitable and in man's measurement he is very successful.  I would agree.  However, from a moral and ethical perspective he is successful for many other reasons and NOT because of me mentoring him but a lot of folks who have poured into his life.  Let's review those successes:

• his children live moral lives and are leaders in their college
• his wife is faithful in her spiritual life and her marital life
• he respects and honors his parents
• he treats people with respect and honesty

I could go on and on but let's get back to mentoring.

Yesterday I met with a young fellow starting his own business.  He complimented me by asking for input on how he was building his business.  It was very rewarding to give him a little insight from my perspective on how to think about his business.  If that is mentoring then I really like doing it.  If you have something to share with other folks that can help them improve their life, I call that mentoring.  What fun and so very rewarding.

As I look back I was mentored by a lot of folks and many of those are folks I have written about so let me expound on those influencers or mentors.  Mom and Dad of course were extremely influential but the small things of other folks added a lot to my development and life.  Here I want to suggest you might mentor others by trying some of these small comments given to me while growing up.

• Gladys Snyder - "you are really good at puzzles"
• Helen Head - "you look very sharp"
• Coach Gilbreth -  "you need to move to Shidler and play football for me"
• Mr. Fulsom -  "if I ever need some work done, I want Gary Olson to do it for me"
• Miss Shumate - "thank you for working so hard on fixing my sewer"
• Mrs. Dozer - "thank you for being respectful in my class"

I suggest to you that small doses of simple comments make a BIG difference to people of all ages.  Say good things to others and avoid the negative as much as possible but it can be a good thing to be honest and constructive but overall it is better to put a positive spin on things.

Well, thanks for listening and now, "what do you learn in the Osage?"

• a little compliment can go a long way in someone's life
• heartfelt and caring remarks lift the spirit and the life
• mentoring is an everyday act of kindness

forever yours,
thepoineerman.com
 

What matters most

I would have to say I feel blessed even when I feel betrayed.  Don't you just hate  it when someone you trusted disappoints.  Like always my wife figured it out long before I ever did.  Have you ever listened to someone give you a line of bull_____ on why they were doing something and you knew better?  Sure you have.  You may even have tried it yourself sometime.  It just don't work.  Sorry for the bad English.  One thing I have learned in life is just say it like it is and don't add any bull____ to cover up the mess cause it just becomes a bigger mess once you have stepped in it.  Do you  get it yet?  If you don't get it then go out into a pasture where the cattle roam and find a fresh cow patty and then step in it.  You will then understand.

Earlier this week I listened to someone giving me a list of excuses on why they were doing something and I knew it was a bunch of BS (do I have to explain?).  It really does not matter but I learned a lot about the person which I should have known but I have a tendency to look for all the good in a person and ignoring or at lease giving the benefit of the doubt. 

Another thing that really gets to me is when folks make bad decisions and then blame it on God.   For example:  It is a God thing.  I do believe God is in control but I also believe he gives us a free choice so we can screw up on our own.  God does not make us greedy, selfish, uncaring, rude and insensitive.  Those are choices we make.  We decide how we want to be treated and we treat folks or at least should treat folks how we want to be treated. 

Sometimes you just gotta say it like you think it.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• if it ain't broke, don't fix it
• sometimes we just say stupid stuff and we will regret it for a long time
• sometimes I get lucky and say something really good and then I forget it

thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com

"a funny thing happened on my way to hell, I got saved saved saved!" 

I just loved that song.

 

what is on my mind?

Nothing, just kidding, my mind runs a hundred miles an hour.  I get kidded a lot for thinking outside the box or being so creative or just being a problem solver.  All of these are for the most part complimentary but sometimes it also causes problems.  The times it becomes a problem is when people around me cannot handle the number of options I can throw out and especially when I verbally make things easier than they really are.  So here is where you should go look up Julian Codding's website (a good old Foraker/Shidler boy) www.juliankcodding.com and listen to him talk about keeping things simple.  Back to the story.

I don't know when it started in my life but somewhere I found this talent to figure out solutions to problems.  I guess if I look back to Dad, Cliff Olson, I should know that an acorn does not fall far from the tree.  I remember Dad could stand and look at something and come up with solutions that were far from any idea I had.  A couple of examples:  we had a problem with cattle getting out because it was next to impossible to build a fence across Beaver Creek to keep them in.  So Dad devised what we called a Water Gap.  Truthfully I still don't know why we called it that but here is what he did.  We went to our trusty old junk pile where we kept all the used machinery and parts.  Every farmer had one.  We took an old lister (used to cut and bundle wheat or grass) and proceeded to the south end of our property where the creek crossed over to Aunt Helen's and Soup Wade's property.  We then took a super heavy steel cable and hung it across the creek and we wrapped  it around two trees, one on each side of the creek.  If you cannot visualize this think of hanging a piece of wire between two posts or trees and then needing to tighten it to get it straight.  With a cable about 1 inch in diameter you should be able to understand there are significant problems with this.  First it is extremely heavy when you stretch it over 100 feet and of course we used the tractor to tighten it.  But think about this, how are you going to take that cable and get it wrapped around the tree when it is attached to the tractor?  And what happens if that cable brakes?  Someone is going to get killed, literally.  Honestly I do not remember how we solved this issue but we did or I should say Dad did. 

Well I have to tell you that was just one big problem and when you stretch a cable like that it is NOT going to be straight across the creek and you would not know it but that creek was very deep at this point.  Second problem:  How are you going to get that lister attached to the cable and hang it in the creek and how is that going to stop the cattle when the creek is much wider than the lister.  You think you are pretty smart?  Dad takes the cake.  We cabled the lister to the other long cable then used the tractor to pull the lister off the creek bank to be suspended into the middle of the creek.  Next problem?  how do you get the gap between the lister and the creek and the banks of the creek to be blocked so the cattle cannot get through?  Temporarily we attached barbed wire to the lister but the real solution came with the rain.  Yes, the rain.  When the creek rises the dead trees and limbs float down the river and accumulate around the lister creating a damn or a fence which stops the cattle.  Problem solved.  Actually there is another story about that Water Gap I need to tell but later for it.

I loved the engineer in Dad even though he never went to college I would put him up against anyone on solving problems.  He had a talent that kept me in awe.  The funny thing is his grandsons got it just like him: Cliff Crow, Richard Crow and Chase Olson.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• Street smarts starts on the farm
• Perseverance and common sense far outweigh IQ
• Don't ever judge a person by their ability but by their results

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

or golson21@hotmail.com for faster responses

Sometimes I wish I had an extra Chromosome, just like Preston

In life I have learned that everyone has hang-ups and self esteem issues, or at least they should have some self esteem issues else they are a little or a lot too proud except for those with one more chromosome.

I cannot read Preston's mind but I watch his actions and I have to believe he has an advantage over all of us regular folks.  Sure, he does suffer from anxiety sometimes like the Holy Shit story I told but he wakes up every morning ready to take on the world in a positive manner.  He never and I really do mean never wakes up angry or mad or thinking about how he might be slower in speech or slower to learn and he certainly does not grouse around about work.  On the contrary he gets up, makes his bed, puts on his clothes with a positive attitude and there is one problem here.  He opens all the window shades then strips and puts on his clothes for the day, You might have to visualize that to understand it.  Now maybe that is a good thing in that he does not get hung up about who might see through his window and see his modestly round body butt naked.  He just does not have all the hang-ups or baggage the rest of us carry around.  Back to his routine:  He then goes around the house turning on every light, closes every cabinet or door and opens doors that are closed so he can turn on the lights then shuts the door as he goes on his routine.  If you left something out on the counter like Shouna does (often) when she is making her HOT WATER (that is another story we should cover) and most of the time it is actually in the microwave where Preston finds it and puts it in the sink and the dishwasher.  NOTHING should be left where it does not belong, not even the microwave because if it is done you should have removed it and gone on to your own chores or duties.  Can you imagine what life would be like if we would just do the things we know we should without hesitation or procrastination or a bad attitude.  He doesn't even consider how helpful this is to others or how it makes the house neater or cleaner or less messy or nicer for everyone except of course Shouna who would like to get her hot water before the CLEANER comes through.

I don't know about you but I get embarrassed easily and always feel that most people are smarter than me and I am a person always concerned with who likes me and why don't they are why don't they respond as I wish they would.  It drives me nuts that I cannot remember everyone's names or respond quick enough and think of what I should have later after it is too late.  If that does not make sense to you let me give you an example and I will not give you names to protect the innocent.  Last night I was at a concert and there was a person there who is a leader and I know him very well but for some reason he made no attempt to reach out and say hello which in Oklahoma is a requirement for even complete strangers.  If you are a Yankee you obviously find this uncomfortable until you acclimate your behavior.  For Yankees eye contact with a stranger is off the charts as unacceptable but in Oklahoma it is a requirement of social norm.  So I was wondering if he has a burr up his butt ( that is Okie talk for having a problem with someone) or if I had offended him or if he was perhaps embarrassed because of something he had done.  Or how about the person you want to be friends with but for some reason you feel they are ignoring you.  Well the point is Preston does not see this and does not concern himself with what others are thinking, he just loves them anyway.  He approaches them and does not allow them to pass and leave an elephant in the room.  Do you know what I am talking about?  Preston believes it is his duty to talk to everyone and be friendly with them.  He also has an agenda of love to pass along and it typically is about Jesus or he shares a story about someone who passed away years ago or recently and he feels you should know it.  Basically his extra chromosome allows him to be un-inhibited, kind of like the person who has to do some drinking to loosen up.  So the moral to that is if you think you need a drink to relax just get an extra chromosome.

Well in summary if you are not satisfied with yourself because you had one of the following issues:

• bad business business decisions
• trusted a friend and he cheated you
• married and your spouse left you
• you left your spouse because you got mad
• you said something that you wish you could take back
• your finances are not what they should be or are on a train wreck
• your job stinks or your boss is a jerk
• your kids don't meet your expectations
• you don't meet the expectations of your parents or someone you think is important
• you think you are stupid or at least as smart as you think you need to be
• you are insecure
• you are not good looking enough or as good looking as someone else
• you have doubts about yourself
• you made too many bad decisions and you don't think Jesus forgives
• you are a disappointment to yourself
• you think you are not disciplined
• you are too busy or too lazy
• the list goes on and on

there are three options to fixing these and if you can do all three but you may not be fixed but you will feel better everyday:

• get focused on Jesus (not yourself) as he forgives and overlooks ALL the bad, no one is good enough
• get an extra chromosome
• suck it up and get over it

I don't have most of these problems but I, like almost everyone, suffer in self esteem in one form or another and am self conscience about some things which prevent me from being the person I want to be but through the blood of Jesus Christ I can see tomorrow in a better light.  So here is my summary:

Some folks have a glass half full

Some folks have a glass half empty

I chose to have a glass completely full

because my water was made crystal clear

by the Blood of Jesus

and the crud of life is filtered by Him

Everyday is a new day and everyday I, just like you, have to get over my hang-ups and dump the crud out and it ain't easy but I look at Preston and am encouraged because he can overlook so many problems that I cannot.  If only I had one more chromosome?

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• an extra chromosome could come in handy a lot of times
• life is not easy but an adventure which we can choose to make the best of or we can just keep filling our glasses with crud
• as long as my lens to life is focused through Jesus' eyes tough times are a little easier and folks are a little nicer and stress is a little less
• If you find no other answer then come work at Wings (www.wingsok.org) and get to know all the folks with disabilities and you will be changed in a positive way

Well, thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Life's journey -- what is it like to raise a child like Preston

It seems that when you raise a child like Preston with Down Syndrome everything (a little too strong of a comment) gets amplified whether good or bad.  You know how it is when you spoil a child or just do not stick to your guns when you punish them and then later you regret it because you have become an in-abler.  Another aspect is when there is a person with special needs you and almost all people do not expect the same behavior as they would from a normal child.  Don't be fooled.  Boy I would like to know what a normal child is!  They are all different and NORMAL is just some term an idiot thought up that did not have children.  Anyway, back to the story.  Let me give you a few examples, some funny and some not so funny, depending on how you view things and who is watching.

Let's say your NORMAL child is at McDonald's and sees a very large girl at the counter who happens to be black and he or she says, "BIG, BLACK GIRL!!!".  Now that normal child just stepped across the lines of common sense and you feel like killing the child before they are old enough to get in real trouble.  The person behind the counter glares at you and there is an elephant in the room that just will not go away.  You probably slapped the kid prior to 1970 but now you just yell at them after you step outside and if you are a decent parent you told them to apologize immediately and they knew there was not and end to the discussion.  If you did not have that feeling of anger and embarrassment then you are probably a person who should not have children in the first place.  OH ya, Preston said those words to the girl and she just smiled while I said, "sorry" and then got my order and sat down ASAP.  The girl and Preston became friends and he hugged her and she loved him.  You tell me how to punish a child that says something like that which was all facts and then the receiving person just loves them back.  I tell you all I knew to do was SUCK IT UP and go on with a little bit more humility in my soul.

Or how about when you are in the airport and he stops folks you have never seen in your life and he says, "have you met my parents?  Here is Shouna and Gary".  I cannot tell you how many times this occurred and each time I gain a little more humility.  But the reward for his behavior is never ending either.  Like the time AJ had Preston, Chase and I up to his suite at OSU for a football game and AJ said, "Preston can come back and be a host for me anytime".  That was a reward for me as a parent and really made me proud of his ability to meet and greet everybody including those in the hallways.  For Preston, if there were 50,000 folks at the game it was an opportunity for him to meet all 50,000.  He loves people.

At church everyone seems to know who he is long before they know who we are.  He always wares a hat and typically a black felt hat.  Now thanks to Rocky Arrington (yes, from Shidler) Preston has about 4 or 6 new hats of different colors and material.  When we do meet people and they ask if we have children they already know him and did not know his parents.  We do have two other children but Preston is famous.  In fact I have said many times that if I ever run for office I am going to change my name to Preston's Dad.

Now just so you won't think all is so good let me tell you the Holy Shit story.  We were at a funeral of a close friend who was always late to everything and at the funeral she/the body arrived late in honor of her reputation.  As you can imagine people told stories how she was always late.  She worked closely with special Olympics and Preston's swim team.  During the funeral many folks told funny stories about her but like all funny stories at funerals people laugh then get real quiet.  It was during that quiet time with about 800 folks in attendance Preston yells out "Holy Shit".  We tried to strangle him (not really) but we did cover his mouth immediately and speak sternly into his ear only to wait a few more minutes before another pause in laughter and he yelled, "Holy Shit" again. 

So what does all this teach a person or should we say, "what do you learn in the Osage?".

• humility can be taught at any age and to parents
• Love overcomes most everything, even at McDonald's
• Blessings come from a child with an extra chromosome

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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Let's do something even if it is wrong!

I think "Let's do something even if it is wrong" was one of my Dad's favorite sayings.  He especially used it when he saw me sitting too long as defined by his patience.  Or I should say, his lack of patience.  Luckily Dad never prayed for patience and I am positive this is true because he never had any for himself or anyone else.  He never understood why something was being done if there was time for TV or as he called it "horsing around" which means doing nothing profitable in his eyes. 

I am glad he was that way as it taught me the value and enjoyment in getting things done.  In fact I cannot see how anyone can have a good self image when things just never get done.  Dad was one of those old timers who believed that any weed around the barns tool sheds or even the junk pile needed to be gotten rid of.  Maybe I should explain what a junk pile really was in those days.  It was NOT a place for trash but a place for parts and old steel and used wire, particularly barbed wire.  These were things that were useful when you lived 45 to 55 miles from a farm store where you could get parts plus it was cheaper and saved time when you could go to the junk yard and get a part.  In those days you really could fix things with a little wire and hard work.  back to doing something even if it is wrong. 

Dad has a wonderful disposition in that he could say something and laugh or smile like a possum eating s___.  That is another of Dad's favorite sayings.  Anyway, he was an ornery person and just getting me or someone off their butt and doing something productive was fun for him.  He could invent work.  If there was nothing else to do we would sweep dirt in the barns with dirt floors just so they would look neat.  We had a mile long drive way and we would weed-eat both sides of the road up to Eddie's house (remember Eddy Harris, my cousin).  Now do not get confused on this by assuming we used a gas powered weed-eater.  OH NO, we used what was called an idiot stick which had a one foot long blade that was horizontal to the ground with sharp side on the front and back so that when you swung it forward you were cutting weeds and when you were swinging backwards you were cutting weeds.  I should also correct your thinking in that it was not just weeds but anything that grew including grass that did not look NEAT. 

What did I learn in the Osage?

• Neatness was a good virtue
• Hard work was good for the soul
• Doing something was good for my self image
• Spending time with Dad was more valuable than whatever we were doing

Those are sweet and sweat days, get it, but I sure loved being with my Dad and doing something EVEN IF IT WAS WRONG. 

Thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com

Football and just how great it was?

I loved football at dear old Shidler High.  Of course you have heard me talk about how great the coaches were in helping me becoming a better person.  But there were moments which are truly integral to the development of myself and others in who we are today.

Football allowed me to learn about myself physically, mentally and emotionally as well as a team player.  I learned that any running back had to have great linemen else they got squashed like a bug on your windshield.  It did not matter how fast or quick you are if you did not have good people blocking and opening a hole for the running back.  Frank Ball was probably the best lineman we had in that he was big and quick and liked to hit people.  I am confident he was the strongest person on the team but he saw himself as a person who made things happen even when it was not his name that got announced over the microphone.  You see offensive linemen don't get recognized for knocking the defensive person on their rear end but the running back and quarter back get credited for throwing a pass or running for more yards.  That is character in my opinion, Frank Ball.  Now I will have to say that Frank knocked some of those folks backwards just because he was so ugly he scared them, just kidding. 

I was never the best speaker or motivator but I was easily motivated to do my part and that allowed me to give everything I could muster to win.  Every game I would get what they call butterflies.  That is when your stomach is tied up in knots because you are so very anxious to get going.  When it came time to run out on the field and bust through those banners the girls made each week I just could not help but be pumped up.  Then all the cars parked around the field would start honking their horns and the band would selflessly play for the crowds and us.  The stands would explode with applause and shouting and sometimes you could hear your name shouted out.  And those cheer leaders amazed me as they worked hard every day and during the games just to make the atmosphere better and to make the players want to do their best.  How could you not be proud of the fans and other students who did so much just to make the game more fun and more exciting. 

Football made me realize I could do more with my body than I thought possible.  Running laps around the field and sprints until there was no oxygen left in the air seemed impossible but we all endured through it.  What most of us did not know at the time was the coaches were doing this for us so we could be better.  At the time I thought they had lost their minds.  I would add one thing that was good for me and that was almost everyone on the team was faster than me except for about 1 to 2 weeks a year.  At the first of every season we would have summer practice in the hot hot Oklahoma sun but I hauled hay every summer with Don and Kenny Kelsey so when practice started I was already use to the heat and in good shape.  It was the only time I ever outran AJ and Dave Jacques, Steve Chrisco, Rick Hill, Jon Tanny Olsen, Hugh Allen Jones and Jimmy Heath and how about Pat Nelson and Johnny Payne and all of the others.  That week or two were my favorite each year because I hated being slow.  Character, I had to learn it even though I hated the lessons.

Well we never won all of our games and for the most part won about half of our games.  One year we lost a game 2 - 0 and it was not a soccer game.  We lost 7 to 6 and just about every game was no more than 14 point for either team.  To say the least we were excellent on defense and that might have something to do with Coach Cotham who was one of my favorite coaches. 

Today, what did football do for me?  My knee is killing me!!!

So what do you learn in the OSAGE?

• The best in football and the best in business are those who have the best people like Frank
• It is a lot more fun going on a journey with other people than going alone, Thanks to my Valentine, Shouna, I have 41 years together as a team plus a few children added to the team along the way.  Kind of like having Icing on the CAke
• Don't think too highly of your self because there is always someone coming along getting better just to be faster than you. 
• Stay the course and build a good solid team

Thanks for your time and the memories,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Maybe we should call it an Osage hoe and not a dutch hoe?

I had a good laugh at Julian Codding's remarks about a hoe and what it taught him and his cousins, Harold and CH.  Basically I identified with his analysis.  If you did not see it, go to Facebook and look it up.  Here is what I learned from a hoe not to be confused with a person but it is an instrument used in the garden.

In fact I should tell you about my wife's experience with a hoe.  We still garden a lot and we use a device we call a Dutch Hoe.  Basically it looks like a stirrup from a saddle on the end of a stick but made with metal and sharp on both sides.  We had about worn out our Dutch Hoe and Shouna decided to look on the Internet to find who carried this tool.  Yes sirree, she typed in Dutch Hoe and boy was she surprised.  We had to do some computer cleanup after that one.  I assume you have been on the Internet enough to know you never, never, ever type in Dutch Hoe and hit enter.

Like Julian if we ever seemed un-busy or not doing something Mom thought was productive she would bring out the hoe and send us to the garden.  I swore for years I would never come back to farming or gardening or even come back to Grainola for fear I would have to work in that garden with the hoe.  Actually there were two other things I hated worse:  chopping ice during the winter and pulling calves.  I always told mom and dad that I would not come back home until they got the old road paved so it would not be gravel.  I lied.

In fact I fondly remember the fresh vegetables and the rhubarb and potatoes in the spring with green beans and bacon cooked together.  Gosh, that was good eaten!  I also knew that it took work to get those veggies to grow and produce and of course it took a hoe plus some back labor.  Still to this day it amazes me how you plant beans and they grow in a straight row but weeds come up everywhere and you don't plant them.  I also longed to own a farm and something to grow after leaving the Osage.

In about 1994 I bought a farm in west Edmond, OK and started growing pumpkins(40 acres) and tomatoes (2 to 3 acres) and okra (4 acres of okra - it was a great idea but a little much), strawberries (2 aces), peppers (1 acre), blackberries (1/2 acre) and then I planted 4000 trees and had all kinds of animals and YES we had a gravel road that I built.  After about 7 years of that we developed our farm into a housing addition as Edmond was growing all around us.  We named the addition Clifford Farms after Dad and we named one of the streets Opal Lane after Mom and remember Mom's maiden name was Lane.  Finally after about 12 years we sold the small acreage we had left and built a house in the middle of a 2.25 acre garden.  There is no gravel road and no vegetables but hundreds and hundreds of flowers and plants and trees and yes we have multiple hoes including two Dutch hoes.

A little piece of trivia.  I named my investment business Lane Financial Strategies and my insurance company Lane Financial and Insurance Strategies all named after the Lane side of my family.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Be careful on what you call a hoe
• Never say never because God will bring you right back to where you started
• Learn to love your past regardless of the challenges you go through

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Filtered or unfiltered

How many times in my life have I wished I was a little more filtered in the mouth?  Have you ever wondered, "why did I say that!"?  I wear a size 13 shoe and many times it has fit into my mouth and I have swallowed it.  I wish I could recover those words.

Sticks and Stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you

The biggest lie I have ever heard. 

I have recovered many a time from broken bones, like the time I had the motorcycle wreck and had multiple surgeries.  That sucks.  Or the time I was playing basketball in the old gym at grand old Shidler High School.  Actually it was the only gym at the time but I was hustling for a ball thrown my way and caught that cement wall rather than the ball.  CRACK.  Again I recovered.  Or the time I took a bad fall from a small jump on the ski slopes and tore up my collarbone.  Made it except for a little ware and tare on the body over the years.

Words are the most powerful force in the world.  Greater than water and hydraulics, for you farm boys and engineers who understand the power of both.  Words can be the most uplifting or the biggest downer.  I remember Helen Head (100 years old and one of the greatest teachers ever) who simply complimented me on how I was dressed and it made my day.  Then there was Aunt Gladys (Mrs. Snyder of Shidler High fame) who kept telling me when I was in grade school how good I was at math as she gave me high school problems and then graded them to show I could do high school work in grade school.  I was never the smartest contrary to what Julian Codding says about me.  Now there is SMART with a capital S or J.  Julian was and is off the charts when it comes to smart.  How about Coach Gilstrap who told me as a kid he wanted me to play football for him long before I was old enough.  Words can make or brake a person. 

Now here is where we are going to get in some controversy.  I absolutely do not believe that talking about everything that bothers you or hurts you helps.  How can constantly bringing up the bad help?   For example, if I told you to not think about cold sliced tomatoes with fried bacon and mayonnaise on a hot summer or spring day, you could not do it and in fact you would want one for the rest of the day.  So my point is, if you tell everyone about how hurt you were by someone's words or actions I believe it does not help most of the time.  In fact it puts a damper on your/my day and makes you/me think about it more. 

I know that I have hurt people over the years and for the most part un-intentionally and I sincerely hope that if you are one of those you would forgive me.  There is a very strong chance I do not even know what you think you heard and hopefully you heard it from me not a third person.  I or someone you know who hurt you may not have any idea you offended or hurt them.  Also NEVER take someone else's interpretation of what I say as fact unless you talk to me and get my cut on what I said.  That goes for words from anyone told third person. 

I think for some being a friend is easy but I am not so sure.  I do believe diarrhea of the mouth is a big problem and a little or a lot of filtering is appropriate.  I need to get my filter working a little bit better.  Or?  Could we say, "the filter was crappy?".  Get over it if that word bothers you.

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Friends are loyal and forgiving
• The mouth is the most powerful instrument in the world, good and bad
• Be careful, sometimes few words are more

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What makes your hair stick up?

I love the picture of Preston with the wig as it relates to this story.  In fact I was talking to Jason Taylor of OC Basketball fame and he said, "he learned a lot from Preston".  Well, me too.

This is kind of a backwards story and a little pitchy but it does make the hair stand up on my head.  By the way, that is not Preston's real hair.  Anyway, the other day I was talking to a young man who is about 28 years old, married with two children living in a rented house ($600 Per month plus utilities) and his wife does not work.  He drives a four wheel pickup that if not modified would be worth about $4000 but he spent about $10,000 fixing it up.  Do you know what I mean?  It was jacked up with expensive tires, new special bumpers and lots more options.  Now it is not even sellable to most.  He makes good money at about $70,000 per year including overtime, before he quit.  Did I mention he gets about 4 miles per gallon on gasoline and drives about 100 miles per day round trip to work meaning it costs about $37.50 per day in gas much less if it were a few months ago and gas was close to $4 per gallon.  Not including wear and tare he spends $9375 per year on gasoline alone.  I should also tell you he spent four years in the military and was deployed for 2 years and is in excellent physical shape.  Now for what drives me crazy.

I asked him what would happen to his wife and kids if he had a wreck in the truck and got killed.  I also asked how would she buy groceries the next day much less pay the rent.  His response was, "they have about $200 in their checking and no reserve account".  My hair stood up as he also said she would just have to move back home with her parents.  Where is the logic in this?!!!@#$!!!???$#@%

I bet you cannot guess why my hair was standing straight up like Preston's.  Cathy at my office can get him a $250,000 policy for about $12 per month.  He said he could not afford it.  If you have not figured your options call Cathy at 405-463-7952.

Now for a little lighter information:  Does anyone remember when Debbie Ware of Shidler put her hands on the electrostatic generator during assembly and her hair stood straight up?  It might have been Virginia Chrisco but I cannot remember any more.  That was funny.  I bet I made my parents hair stand up many a time.  Like when I cut Cathy Eaton's hair with sheep sheers.  Boy was I in trouble.

Now let me give you one on Preston.  One time we were short on spoons in the house and we knew we had a double set meaning we had about 24 spoons, Oneida as I recall, expensive.  In fact we were totally out.  Why?  Well, Preston likes things clean and tidy.  We trained him to put things where they belong.  Chase and Wynter, our regular children, could not learn this while they lived at home.  Preston who has special needs learned it well.  So well, that after he ate his yogurt each day he put the empty container in the trash with Mom's spoons until they were all gone.  Shouna's hair stood up on her head that time.

So what do you learn in the Osage or from your children?

• be careful what you teach your children, they may follow your instructions
• a mess is not necessarily the worst thing to happen, remember those Oneida spoons
• sometimes hair standing on ones head is better than no hair at all

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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Home on the Range: THe Sky is FAlling

Home on the Range: THe Sky is FAlling

THe Sky is FAlling

I feel like Chicken Little.  The stock market is down, a friend lost a child from a long battle with failing liver and kidney transplant, my father-n-law is in the hospital and my daughter has some health issues and then there is some additional junk going on.  Now honestly, "stuff happens", I almost said something more descriptive but held back.  Sure I am concerned and tired from a little sleep deprivation and sure I have prayed a lot and continue to rely on my Lord Jesus Christ to bring a little calm to this storm. 

Through all of this I find calm but not because that is my style but because I am better off depending on Him than my personality quirks, some would say quacks or cracks.  Here is what I learned in the Osage.

• after the storm the air smells better
• the air is cleaner
• the sky is bluer

So you may ask, "how do I do it?".  Well when I was growing up I watched my Mom and Dad and how they reacted to storms.  Storms of low commodity prices were killers when you raise cattle, corn, wheat and maize.  But you know what they did?  They kept putting one foot in front of the other and planted another crop held a few more heifers back for breeding stock and kept the faith that things will always be better even during the storm if you just look for the opportunity.  They planted a bigger garden and raised more chickens.

Now for you idiots (that is country talk for folks who don't know country speek and I apologize for it kind of?) a heifer is a young female which becomes a cow when she has been bred to have a calf.  I suppose I should explain BRED.  That is sex for cattle.  It really is fun making fun of folks that don't get my humor but guess what, folks have been making fun of me for years because of what I don't know about city life and city talk.  Plus my humor is not as good as I enjoy it and it is usually at someone else's expense.  We should all laugh about our differences and embrace them, not howl about them and divide us.  Got a little political there, sorry.

Well in summary, I am just grateful for the storms I get and what God is teaching me.

So what do you learn in the Osage:

• obviously, it feels really good when the storm has passed
• there is beauty found in the storm if you look for it
• trust in Him not in myself

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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What I have learned from a child with special needs

I have been challenged by a friend to share some of the life lessons I have experienced with a special focus on children and adults with special needs.  In case you do not know it our third child, Preston, was born with down syndrome.  So at least for a few stories I am going to walk you though what I have learned.

September 3rd, 1987 Preston was born around 6 P.M. and in a hospital in the Dallas area.  The doctor told us we had a healthy baby boy.  The doctor was older and had a rough bedside manner but still seemed to be a good doctor.  Of course we shared the good news with lots of folks on our call list.  There was no texting and cell phones weighed about 5 pounds and were pretty expensive so no one had a cell phone.  We did it the old fashioned way, we called on a land line.  Think about it, pause, a huge number of young people born after 1980 have no idea what "dial a phone number" really means.  And how about "answer the phone, it is ringing off the wall".  They don't even know what an 8 track is.  OK, back to the story. 

The excitement was slowing down and we were settling in for the night when around 10:30 I walked by the nursery to see my new boy and I saw the nurse crying.  I just assumed one of the new babies was having trouble and I never considered it was Preston.  At about 11 the nurse retrieved me from being with Shouna and took me to a small room where the doctor was waiting.  He began to tell me about down syndrome and why he suspected Preston had the extra chromosome.  He suggested we should consider putting Preston in an institution.  He asked me if I wanted him to talk to my wife.  There was absolutely no way I was going to have him deliver such a message after he had done such a horrible job with me.

As I shared the news with Shouna around 11:30 or 12 we both cried a little and neither of us would consider giving our son to be taken care of by the state.  I am blessed that my wife has a positive attitude and relies on her assurance that God is in charge.  We prayed together and talked for a long time.  I have no idea when we rested but the next morning we started the task of calling our family and friends and telling them the news.  This is probably one of the situations I learned the most from.

As we called most were politely apologetic if for no other reason than they just did not know what to say.  One person expressed that "if we prayed hard enough Preston would not have DS".  I wish I could say I had a great Biblical or Christian response but I just said to Shouna, "that is the stupidest remark I have heard".  One of the common remarks was "God gives special children to special parents".  Again I declared "BS".  Don't get the wrong idea here, we felt confident we were blessed.  We just did not know the answers to a lot of questions.   What did we / I learn?

• saying something, even if it was stupid or clumsy, was better than nothing from our friends
• a baby is a blessing even if "normal", whatever that is, is not to be found
• start by looking for what good is to come rather than dwelling on the negative

One last thing to end this story.  One of the biggest blessings I have ever received and one of the biggest learning opportunities happened that day by around noon.  During my calls I called Larry Lippel in Oklahoma City who was a dear friend and co-worker and asked him to share the news with friends at the office, FDMC/First Data Management which also was known as SCS which was the ATM network in Oklahoma.  He did not say much but as I was walking down the hall in the hospital about 2.5 hours after talking to Larry he stepped off the elevator and walked toward me.  I think he was speeding, of course.  Even today I choke up thinking about that act of kindness.  Larry was about 6 ft. 6 in. tall and he walked up to me and put his arms around me and squeezed like crazy.  I felt like a pimple ready to pop.  It was a long hug and we both cried.  His first words were he wanted to see our baby and see Shouna.  We went straight to see the babies and I proudly pointed out my new son.  We walked down to see Shouna and he hugged her.  Larry was a strong believer in Jesus but had dropped out of church and that day he promised he was going to get back to his relationship with Christ.  Honestly I don't remember another thing he said or did.  He did not stay long and then drove back to OKC. 

• I learned that being there is more important than anything
• sacrificial giving of time and a big hug says more than 10,000 words
• that day was the beginning of a testimony from Preston about a life with Christ, Preston had already made a positive impact in Larry's life and ours

I am shutting down for the night but hopefully as I write these stories they can be of benefit to others and record my life for you and my family.

So, what do you learn in the Osage?

• everyone can make a positive impact on someone's life, be an ADDER not a SUBTRACTOR
• life is full of surprises, make the best of them
• when life throws you a curve, adjust and get a hit and most of all keep your eye on the ball

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com