I have the pleasure of working with a person doing personal coaching, mentoring and financial planning and whatever you want to call it. He made a comment to me about his dad. He said his dad was not verbal and did not teach him a lot of the things he wants to teach his children. I thought that was great and many times what we do for our families is a direct response to how we were raised and what we thought was right or wrong with our raising. Well that got me to thinking.
Dad, Clifford Olson, did not depart on me a lot of wisdom or values verbally. But what he taught me was enormous. He got up out of bed every morning and I don't think he had an alarm. He got up before the cows and the birds awoke. He went outside and started doing chores then came inside to get coffee (very important) and breakfast. Now that I think about it Mom, Opal (Lane) Olson, did the same thing. They did not yell at me to get up but they EXPECTED me to get up. If I laid in bed Dad would get some ice and put under my t-shirt. Just a side point: Mom always bought me pajamas and I hated them. So mostly I slept in my t-shirt and underwear. I am sure you needed to know that. Now Dad had a few other tricks. He would get the baby kittens and put them in my bed or baby puppies. What I learned was Expectations are big and it is a VALUE they taught me. I wish I could say I never yelled at my kids but I cannot but I did have expectations of their good behavior.
They taught me to value work, not to hate or resent it. They did it by doing not by demanding. They expected things to be done right and if not they would simply allow (make) me to do it over and over until it was done right. I don't believe they ever tried to make me do more than I could but they knew I could do more than I thought I could. I learned it by their examples.
It was never an option to not go to church. I don't remember them ever saying "I am too tired to go to church". They taught me values not by what they said but by what they did.
I don't remember Mom every saying, "cleanliness was next to godliness" but her actions were very clear. She expected it. She practiced it. So did Dad. If there were weeds growing up around the barns or the equipment he was showing us how to fix it and sometimes letting us cut the weeds without his help but he NEVER sat and watched. He worked along side us or worked on something else. He was an example. He expected us to see what was needed and expected us to take action. If there was work to do he did not think he needed to point it out but he would if we missed it.
These stories are all about values they shared with us not by words but by doing, showing and expecting.
I am actually sitting here laughing about how I learned so much with so little ever said. I am thankful for the education.
So what do you learn in the Osage?
Dad, Clifford Olson, did not depart on me a lot of wisdom or values verbally. But what he taught me was enormous. He got up out of bed every morning and I don't think he had an alarm. He got up before the cows and the birds awoke. He went outside and started doing chores then came inside to get coffee (very important) and breakfast. Now that I think about it Mom, Opal (Lane) Olson, did the same thing. They did not yell at me to get up but they EXPECTED me to get up. If I laid in bed Dad would get some ice and put under my t-shirt. Just a side point: Mom always bought me pajamas and I hated them. So mostly I slept in my t-shirt and underwear. I am sure you needed to know that. Now Dad had a few other tricks. He would get the baby kittens and put them in my bed or baby puppies. What I learned was Expectations are big and it is a VALUE they taught me. I wish I could say I never yelled at my kids but I cannot but I did have expectations of their good behavior.
They taught me to value work, not to hate or resent it. They did it by doing not by demanding. They expected things to be done right and if not they would simply allow (make) me to do it over and over until it was done right. I don't believe they ever tried to make me do more than I could but they knew I could do more than I thought I could. I learned it by their examples.
It was never an option to not go to church. I don't remember them ever saying "I am too tired to go to church". They taught me values not by what they said but by what they did.
I don't remember Mom every saying, "cleanliness was next to godliness" but her actions were very clear. She expected it. She practiced it. So did Dad. If there were weeds growing up around the barns or the equipment he was showing us how to fix it and sometimes letting us cut the weeds without his help but he NEVER sat and watched. He worked along side us or worked on something else. He was an example. He expected us to see what was needed and expected us to take action. If there was work to do he did not think he needed to point it out but he would if we missed it.
These stories are all about values they shared with us not by words but by doing, showing and expecting.
I am actually sitting here laughing about how I learned so much with so little ever said. I am thankful for the education.
So what do you learn in the Osage?
- it is more effective to be an example than it is to speak
- if you want good behavior you have to be an example of good behavior
- spend some time thinking about what you learned and how you learned it. I bet the big things were by example.
Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com
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