It is an exciting life

I cannot tell you how many times I reflect on the Osage, Shidler and Grainola every week but the impact it had on my life is everlasting.  I know life on earth is limited and of course it is effected by the past but my eternal consequences are also directly impacted by those small but impactful parts of life growing up in the Osage.  As I reflect I think of my folks forcing me to go to church almost every Sunday and especially those years where they gave out the little bars for perfect attendance.  My mom would never let us miss even if we were at Grandma Annie's in Oologah.  We would get a written document showing we attended Sunday School and YES I absolutely still call it Sunday School, not flock and not community groups.  Last week Jesse Garrison lost his wife of 47 years and I had to think of just how many folks are able to make it that far.  This morning I was doing a little Bible study on perseverance and I have to believe that it takes some serious perseverance to make it 47 years.  I know because Shouna and I have been married 39 years 10 months and 7 days which tells you we are very close to 40 years December 21st, 2014.

Now if you know Shouna you know we have been married 25 happy years (that is a joke).  You also know that she is the funny one in the house (that is a joke).  And you know that I am the talented one (that is a joke).  Now for the facts.  She is God's expression of unfailing love to me.  She has loved me through the ups and downs of my life.  She has raised three of the greatest kids I could ask for and I would have to say the best parts of them came from her.

The other day I asked her if she thought we should slow down and cut some of the things we do out of our lives and her answer was very simple, "why?" and "no".  Let me tell you what we do and I sincerely hope you do not take this as bragging or being boastful but that it is a reflection of what we value and where we want to invest our lives.  I should also state that a primary value is we believe we should serve others not by enabling them for bad behavior but supporting them in good behavior and helping people reach their highest potential in everything they do.

Aw forget it.  I cannot do it.  If you want to know come see us and let's have a cup of coffee and share our life stories.  I bet you have some to tell as well.  But I will give you some highlights of our lives together.

We were married December 21st, 1974 while in my senior year of college which I will point out that I am a strategic thinking as December 21st is the longest night of the year, go figure.

We, or I, finished college at Southwestern Oklahoma State University in Weatherford, OK.  Shouna finished at the Conservatory of Music in Chicago (thus proof that she has the talent).

Straight out of college I went to work for Ross Perot and EDS in Dallas and moved around a few years but the coolest thing I like to talk about is how great Ross was to work for and how proud I was of the folks who worked there.  Over 80% were retired military.

We have always served in our church and are thankful for those who in our early years taught us by example to get over our fears and share Christ with those we got to know.  We taught Sunday School for 34 years and if you are wondering why I don't talk about the business successes and failures it is because the most important and lasting thing we have ever done is sharing our faith not by our words but by our actions.  We may not teach formally today but we still teach and are involved in other types of Christ centered activities like Wings (www.wingsok.org), Joyful Sound Choir, camps for children and adults with special needs, Mendachurch (which is a group of folks who go into churches that are struggling and help them to change), National Christian Foundation (NCF), and other organizations and charities.

We have a wonderful garden where we spend a lot of time and we love our children and their families.
You see we don't measure our success by the money we make or made but the friends we have and the lives we have invested in plus those who have invested in us.

Yes, we are busy, very busy, busier than most but who cares as long as we feel good about what we do.  I hope you can and will look back (just for a second) and be happy with how you invested your life.

So what did I learn in the Osage?

• Givers Gain
• Losers lose
• If you give even when it hurts YOU will be the winner
• Forgive, forget and go on and count your blessings one by one and see what God has done

Thanks for your time and with a little luck (I don't believe in luck) we will make it to 40 wonderful years!

gary@thepioneerman.com

What wakes you up everyday?

Years ago I heard a friend say that every morning he got up he would look outside his bedroom window and say, "Good Lord it is morning".  I have to believe that is a little disrespectful but after some traumatic events in his life he decided he needed to take another road in life.  He started each day when waking up to look outside and say, "Good morning Lord".  Another way to look at this is the old saying, "is your cup half full or is it half empty?". 

I may be a little strange and I know for a fact that I had a tendency when I was a kid to get up in the morning and be pretty happy and lively.  In fact after I got married my wife suggested many times that when I wake up in the morning it would be nice that I not be so loud, energetic, and plain old excited about my day.  She claimed it was biblical and that folks generally like to wake up slowly and then speed up.  Well in my book that dog does not hunt. 

I like to get up in the morning and in fact if I get in a solid 6 hours before noon doing what is on my mind and agenda then I feel pretty good about my day.  You see at that time it is lunch (I should remind you that when I grew up in the Osage Lunch was Dinner and Dinner was Supper) and the way I look at it is now we are at half time.  If you still are not getting it, my GLASS IS HALF FULL.  I remember the first time I heard the phrase half full vs. half empty and I frankly just did not get it.  I thought that if it were just half full it was still good news in that I had something to drink. 

Well here I am at age 61 and I am just as excited about today and tomorrow as I have always been.  In fact last week I was asking Shouna, my wife, if she thought we should slow down our schedule or start saying no to some of the requests that come our way requiring some of our time.  To my surprise and a pleasant one at that I have to say she looked at me and said, "No and why would we?".  The way we look at it is if we are having a good time and doing what we think God wants us to do we might as well keep rowing our boat in the same direction.  Man do I have a great wife or what!

Now don't get me wrong, not everything is perfect at home or elsewhere but  I like my odds and I thoroughly like where we are headed.  If you think I am prideful or naive you have not read my blog a few weeks ago about some of my failures.  OK, OK! 

What wakes me up in the morning?  Since I get up before daylight it is not the sun but it is the Son and the fact that I count my blessings not my failures.  My days are the same as when I was in dear old Shidler High School.  Back then the only time I had regret was when I missed getting in on every play in a game or missed getting an A on every paper.  I was never satisfied with sitting on the bench even when I was on the bench.  I was never happy when Old lady Head gave me a B or Happy Butt (Gladys Snyder, if you don't get it send me an email and I will explain the relationship of Glad-ys and happy butt) gave a test and I made a B.  I was never happy when Coach Cotham or Gilbreath sat me out for a single play even if it were special teams.  Coach Smith drove me crazy and not just in drivers education class when he would put in better players like Julian Codding or anyone else and make me sit down.  Once we were playing Ralston and I got fouled out and I was so mad sitting on the bench. In summary what wakes me up in the morning is I have things to do and being second or sitting on the bench are not in my list of to do's.  I want to get my projects done.  Yes I put too many things on my list but I want to be busy.  Life is good and I want every minute to count.  I don't want to look back and say, "I wish or I could of ... or I would of....". 

Just a side note.  Mrs. Head and Gladys Snyder were two of the best and greatest teachers I ever had.  So when I make those comments it is with great love and respect to two of the greatest ladies ever.

Well, thanks for listening.
What do you learn in the Osage?

1. God is awake in the morning before I am
2. If I talk to Him, He will talk to me
3. The best of days were back then, yesterday, today and tomorrow
4. GOOD MORNING LORD

Thanks again,
gary@thepioneerman.com


 

The unspoken words

I have the pleasure of working with a person doing personal coaching, mentoring and financial planning and whatever you want to call it.  He made a comment to me about his dad.  He said his dad was not verbal and did not teach him a lot of the things he wants to teach his children.  I thought that was great and many times what we do for our families is a direct response to how we were raised and what we thought was right or wrong with our raising.  Well that got me to thinking.

Dad, Clifford Olson, did not depart on me a lot of wisdom or values verbally.  But what he taught me was enormous.  He got up out of bed every morning and I don't think he had an alarm.  He got up before the cows and the birds awoke.  He went outside and started doing chores then came inside to get coffee (very important) and breakfast.  Now that I think about it Mom, Opal (Lane) Olson, did the same thing.  They did not yell at me to get up but they EXPECTED me to get up.  If I laid in bed Dad would get some ice and put under my t-shirt.  Just a side point:  Mom always bought me pajamas and I hated them.  So mostly I slept in my t-shirt and underwear.  I am sure you needed to know that.  Now Dad had a few other tricks.  He would get the baby kittens and put them in my bed or baby puppies.  What I learned was Expectations are big and it is a VALUE they taught me.  I wish I could say I never yelled at my kids but I cannot but I did have expectations of their good behavior.

They taught me to value work, not to hate or resent it.  They did it by doing not by demanding.  They expected things to be done right and if not they would simply allow (make) me to do it over and over until it was done right.  I don't believe they ever tried to make me do more than I could but they knew I could do more than I thought I could.  I learned it by their examples.

It was never an option to not go to church.  I don't remember them ever saying "I am too tired to go to church".  They taught me values not by what they said but by what they did.

I don't remember Mom every saying, "cleanliness was next to godliness" but her actions were very clear.  She expected it.  She practiced it.  So did Dad.  If there were weeds growing up around the barns or the equipment he was showing us how to fix it and sometimes letting us cut the weeds without his help but he NEVER sat and watched.  He worked along side us or worked on something else.  He was an example.  He expected us to see what was needed and expected us to take action.  If there was work to do he did not think he needed to point it out but he would if we missed it.

These stories are all about values they shared with us not by words but by doing, showing and expecting.

I am actually sitting here laughing about how I learned so much with so little ever said.  I am thankful for the education.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• it is more effective to be an example than it is to speak 
• if you want good behavior you have to be an example of good behavior
• spend some time thinking about what you learned and how you learned it.  I bet the big things were by example.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com