I was talking to a friend who has a son that is about 32 years old and does not have a job and lives at home. Wow! That would never have happened in the Osage. I think I would be buried in the black soil of Beaver Creek if I had tried that one especially if I sat around the house and played video games and looked at the Internet. In fact I would say there was zero chance I would have a seat at the dinner table if I did not work and work hard every day while living at home. I cannot imagine my folks even offering for me to live at home after high school or college. Anyway as I listened to my friends story I was in utter shock. They have a nice kid who has a good heart but is just lazy. I suppose this is a good case of enabling a person and I do mean in a negative way.
After working for many years for Ross Perot of EDS and then coming back to Oklahoma to be close to family we found ourselves with 3 children living in a nice house on a golf course in Yukon. But watching our children grow and mature I became very concerned that the only responsibility they would have was to make their beds and help with the dishes. I wondered how they would learn to do anything. That actually reminds me that I believe these technical schools are very underutilized and in fact we need the old "shop classes" in schools and mechanic classes. I am not and educator but I do believe if you look around you will find that kids that grew up in small towns with LESS sophisticated classes proportionally are much more likely to be financially and business successful than kids in big schools with lots of AP classes. Prove me wrong if you want but I look at my old Shidler and Grainola buddies and girls and I find much more healthy marriages and families and successful business people. I just find that folks from smaller towns and communities have higher values and stronger work ethic and are much more likely to be grateful for God's blessings. No apologies for giving credit to our creator. Besides if you were in a war on terror or a street fight who do you want on your side? I find this a pretty easy answer, someone from the Osage!
Back to my challenge and my solution. I should probably add that when I grew up in Grainola I use to tell my folks I was NEVER going to come visit unless they got blacktop on those gravel roads. I lied. Also I said I would never live on a farm or have to feed animals in the winter or any of that hard stuff like hauling hay. I lied. There is getting to be a trend. So I bought a farm in west Edmond to have a place with responsibility and opportunities for my children. At first they were not very excited about this move but over time it was a winner. My kids did turn out perfect. I lied again. We started right away with planting pumpkins and buying a few animals and ultimately building a house on the farm. I would have to say it was most difficult for our oldest, Wynter. She did adjust and it was much easier on the two boys as they were young and driving a tractor when you are 9 years old and driving a pickup on the farm at 9 was pretty cool. I had purchased an old pickup with duals and a 457 engine (at least it was a powerful engine) that was in pretty rough shape for $400 to help around the farm. Wynter hated it and of course I told her that when she turned 16 it was going to be her first vehicle. She did not think that was funny. Luckily Chase as tall for his age and could drive it easily. We tried to let Preston drive but he did not like it. I should remind you that Preston has down syndrome and is 26 now but he does not like to drive even today. That pickup worked pretty good but it was sure loud. Well I would have to tell you buying a farm and yes we had a gravel road was the best thing I did for my family and my children especially. They know how to work and they made good decisions about their future. They have common sense and level heads, meaning they don't get their underwear in a wad over stupid things and they are focused young adults.
OK, lets sum this up. I cannot figure out one reason I would want to live at home and not work much less sit all day doing Internet and video games or TV. If I could tell that parent one thing it would be let your child (even if they are over 30) know that if they want to live at home, rent and room and board are not optional and they will absolutely have to help with cleaning and cooking and maintenance and they have to get a job even at minimum wage because they will have to pay to live at home.
So what do you learn in the Osage?
- Never say never because as soon as you do one of those children are going to want to come home and live for some period of time. Both of our kids did and both did not like our rules and wanted out as soon as possible.
- Living at home after 18 might have been an option but work was not an option
- Working and having a family is a privilege and we should all be grateful for "The home of the brave and the land of the free"
Thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com
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