What is success?

I am one of those folks who grew up thinking if I made a million dollars I would be successful especially if I did it before I was 30 years old.  I have always held in high esteem those who had fame and financial success but as I have gotten older I find success means much much more.

Last Saturday Bob and Jan Harris had a celebration of over 50 years of marriage.  Bob's sister Norma and her husband Johnny of Memphis area have been married 54 years.  Janis, the little sister, who now lives in Kansas with her husband must be over 40 years married.  All together that is three children of Vea and Gordon Harris who have stayed married a lifetime.  Eddy the youngest child, who was one of my dearest childhood friends, died about 10 years ago and Gordon,their father, died when they were young so you would have to say Vea was a very successful mother.  Oh my goodness, I forgot David and Jan who have been married longer than dirt and he is the oldest son of Vea and Gordon.

So what else makes up success?  I am going to get in trouble for this but my daughter, Wynter, has spent the first 10 years of her adult life as a missionary sacrificing the all-mighty dollar for helping others.  How about those who "raise your child up in the way they should go" (that is direct from the Bible) and focus on the relationship with their spouse and children (family) verses focusing on making money, are they successful?  ABSOLUTELY!  Now I want to make it clear that once we raise them and they are old enough to make decisions they are responsible for their mistakes and they reap the harvest of bad decisions as well as good ones.  

Success means a lot of things to different folks and I am grateful that it does mean a lot of different things to each of us.  How about all those military folks like Mark Whitt who were in the military for a career and never made a lot of money?  I think I would call that success.  How about all of those teachers who taught us so that we could go on and make a good living or even make a lot of money?  I think they were very successful.  

In summary I think success can be summed up as "doing the best you can in all endeavors and when things go wrong getting up and continuing on doing your best while still respecting others and being honest and having integrity in your life".  I had a friend say, "people can steel almost anything and everything from you but YOU have to give your integrity away", your choice.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Marriage is not easy but it is worth it
• Money is a tool not a destination
• Life is a journey and what you do with it is your choice, don't bitch about your choices
• Eternity is a choice even if you do not believe in it.  You might consider reading up on this one.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Luckily the Osage is somewhat isolated

What Happened?  Politics were so far removed from growing up in the Osage and for the most part much better when I was a kid.   About the biggest thing ever happened was re-electing the county commissioners which looking back were caught up in scandal but most of us never even knew that until thirty years later.  If you don't know what I am talking about go look up "county commissioner scandal in Oklahoma".  Then of course there was the county sheriff scandal in the early 1920's when they were being bribed.  Look up the "Osage Indian Murders" and you will find out what I mean.  But most of all politics were kind of cool when a new governor showed up for some event like visiting Codding Cattle Research to highlight a new Simmental Bull coming to America.  It did not matter to folks whether they were Republicans or Democrats as they were held in honor and celebrated for being leaders.  Sure there were discussions but not emotionally charged like they are today.  In fact that brings me to "The rest of the story".

There is a lot of clamoring about school regulation at the state and national level and health care and of course the military and about everything else you can think of.  Next they are going to try and legislate how to protect the cows from the heat (they already do that for dairy cattle).  They might even try to legislate where you can build a pond or plant your crops or cut down trees.  Oops, they already have.  I may be wrong but I just think local folks have more common sense about what to do locally.  I could be wrong but I thought I had the best teachers and administrators in Mr. Bias and Mr. Treadway and Mr. Morris not counting the teachers of Shumate, Himbury, Snyder, Head, Alverado, Morris, Gilbreth, Cothom, and the list goes on and on.  We might disagree on some of these but I bet you the majority of us turned out all-right.  I guess I believe all of us make bad decisions sometimes but if we just make good decisions most of the time and have a little faith in our Lord things are going to turn out OK.  I learned early in life that those who work hard deserve more. Some folks who work hard chose a profession that pays less in spite of the pay but it was their choice.  Some folks like teachers chose a profession that pays less money but get wonderful benefits during and in the end vs. others who chose to make a lot more money and have no guarantees on income, vacation, retirement or even retiring before age 67.  It is all about choices and we all have to make them.  If enough folks choose not to work for less pay (it is called free enterprise) then the employer has to pay more to attract them even if it is the schools or farmers, etc.. Farmers are the amazing ones as they have no guarantee of income or retirement but again it is a choice.  Such a wonderful thing about America, free choice.  I know that stinks somewhat but we do make our own bed and we have to sleep in it.  

Dad said many times that "if the government would get out of the farming business good farmers could make money".  He was also a believer in if a bad farmer makes bad decisions he will go out of business making it easier for the good farmer to make money.  I think we call that free enterprise.

Dad also made the point, "every time the government passes a law someone wins and someone looses".  It seems to me there is a lot of common sense in that.  I did learn in the Osage that if you cheat, steal and lie even if there is not a law against it directly  that you should be punished.  Bernie Madoff was a crook and should go to jail but did the government over-react to that?  ABSOLUTELY.  Read the new Dodd Frank laws and see how it hurts all of us more than the extremely wealthy.  You will be shocked.
National Health Care and Obomacare?  We already had national health care so that was nothing new.  Did we need some fixes?  ABSOLUTELY.  Was this a good fix?  You tell me.  Can we afford another national social program?  Social Security is in deep trouble but not because it was not funded well but because the government spent all the money on other things and cannot say no to more social welfare.  Medicare works but it is broken and getting worse.  Did you see the new law that is going to make it more difficult to get medicare to pay for hospital visits of one day?  Basically they shifted more expense to the consumer which means that those who can pay will have to and those who cannot pay will be subsidized by the government.  Lets make no mistake about this point.  The government is not paying this but the 50% who pay the taxes are paying it.

Well, where did all of this get us?  What did we learn in the Osage?

• We are a whole lot better off governing on a local level
• Schools and education on a local level make more sense and the dollars can be spent better when locally controlled by local values and local decisions
• People who work hard and do right should make decisions for those who cannot and it should be done on a local level, not a state or national level
• Local values are better and stronger than those put together by outsiders meaning those who are not farmers should not dictate to farmers and teachers know their students and need the power to teach and discipline on a local level dictated by a majority of folks on the local level
• We don't need more laws, we need more honest and local choices.  Perhaps we need to teach morals, ethics and values again and teach folks how to work hard and stay focused.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepoineerman.com

Was there ever a chance that I would not leave the nest

I was talking to a friend who has a son that is about 32 years old and does not have a job and lives at home.  Wow!  That would never have happened in the Osage.  I think I would be buried in the black soil of Beaver Creek if I had tried that one especially if I sat around the house and played video games and looked at the Internet.  In fact I would say there was zero chance I would have a seat at the dinner table if I did not work and work hard every day while living at home.  I cannot imagine my folks even offering for me to live at home after high school or college.  Anyway as I listened to my friends story I was in utter shock.  They have a nice kid who has a good heart but is just lazy.  I suppose this is a good case of enabling a person and I do mean in a negative way.

After working for many years for Ross Perot of EDS and then coming back to Oklahoma to be close to family we found ourselves with 3 children living in a nice house on a golf course in Yukon.  But watching our children grow and mature I became very concerned that the only responsibility they would have was to make their beds and help with the dishes.  I wondered how they would learn to do anything.  That actually reminds me that I believe these technical schools are very underutilized and in fact we need the old "shop classes" in schools and mechanic classes.  I am not and educator but I do believe if you look around you will find that kids that grew up in small towns with LESS sophisticated classes proportionally are much more likely to be financially and business successful than kids in big schools with lots of AP classes.  Prove me wrong if you want but I look at my old Shidler and Grainola buddies and girls and I find much more healthy marriages and families and successful business people. I just find that folks from smaller towns and communities have higher values and stronger work ethic and are much more likely to be grateful for God's blessings.  No apologies for giving credit to our creator.  Besides if you were in a war on terror or a street fight who do you want on your side?  I find this a pretty easy answer, someone from the Osage!  

Back to my challenge and my solution.  I should probably add that when I grew up in Grainola I use to tell my folks I was NEVER going to come visit unless they got blacktop on those gravel roads.  I lied.  Also I said I would never live on a farm or have to feed animals in the winter or any of that hard stuff like hauling hay.  I lied.  There is getting to be a trend.  So I bought a farm in west Edmond to have a place with responsibility and opportunities for my children.  At first they were not very excited about this move but over time it was a winner.  My kids did turn out perfect.  I lied again.  We started right away with planting pumpkins and buying a few animals and ultimately building a house on the farm.  I would have to say it was most difficult for our oldest, Wynter.  She did adjust and it was much easier on the two boys as they were young and driving a tractor when you are 9 years old and driving a pickup on the farm at 9 was pretty cool.  I had purchased an old pickup with duals and a 457 engine (at least it was a powerful engine) that was in pretty rough shape for $400 to help around the farm.  Wynter hated it and of course I told her that when she turned 16 it was going to be her first vehicle.  She did not think that was funny.  Luckily Chase as tall for his age and could drive it easily.  We tried to let Preston drive but he did not like it.  I should remind you that Preston has down syndrome and is 26 now but he does not like to drive even today.  That pickup worked pretty good but it was sure loud.  Well I would have to tell you buying a farm and yes we had a gravel road was the best thing I did for my family and my children especially.  They know how to work and they made good decisions about their future.  They have common sense and level heads, meaning they don't get their underwear in a wad over stupid things and they are focused young adults.

OK, lets sum this up.  I cannot figure out one reason I would want to live at home and not work much less sit all day doing Internet and video games or TV.  If I could tell that parent one thing it would be let your child (even if they are over 30) know that if they want to live at home, rent and room and board are not optional and they will absolutely have to help with cleaning and cooking and maintenance and they have to get a job even at minimum wage because they will have to pay to live at home.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Never say never because as soon as you do one of those children are going to want to come home and live for some period of time.  Both of our kids did and both did not like our rules and wanted out as soon as possible.
• Living at home after 18 might have been an option but work was not an option
• Working and having a family is a privilege and we should all be grateful for "The home of the brave and the land of the free"

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com