Celebrations or Funerals

As most of us know Dorothy Kelsey and John Murphy left this old earth in the last two weeks.  I know one thing and that is both of these folks made a difference and if you are not sure you should have been there.  Now I do want to make it clear that I missed the celebration for John but I still got to hear a few stories from folks who made it to Dorothy's celebration.  If you are one of those folks who hate funerals you are not alone.  It is hard to mix happiness and sadness but if you stand back and watch and listen you have to feel lifted up and encouraged.

There were a few tears but just about everyone expressed how great it was to see old friends and to have a chance to tell stories about the loved ones who have left us.  There were stories of Dorothy's cookies at Christmas.  The story was that Dorothy had lots of cookies and lots of options.  She loved to bake and she loved to share.  She loved Christmas and made it special.  Another fact was that she played the organ at church for many years.  Mom talked about how Dorothy helped out in crafts during Boy Scout meetings and always volunteered when there was a need.  Now speaking of Boy Scouts, did you know that the only Eagle Scout out of Grainola was Joe Conner?  Well Joe was at the celebration and it was a joy for him and mom to see each other.  There was a genuine reunion and I know that Joe was there to celebrate how Dorothy impacted his life during Boy Scouts.

There were also stories of John Murphy floating around.  Everyone spoke of his orneriness.  That is probably the one trait that everyone remembers.  John was fun and sometimes a little over the top with the orneriness.  He is missed.

OK back to the story.  Why do we have parties or celebrations for folks we don't get to see very often and in fact sometimes don't spend hardly any time with in over 30 years?  Well let me tell you why it is important to go to one of these celebrations:

•  It is a time to honor someone who infected your life in a positive way
• Those people left behind are supported by their friends and encouraged by distant friends who tell them stories of how their families made a difference
• This may sound selfish but it is a time to reconnect with old friends and family
• A specific example how a funeral made a difference in my families life is about how two uncles who lived in the same town did not talk for 40 plus years only to reconnect at their fathers funeral and become best friends until they passed
• Another example is that some folks never hear about the love of Christ except at a funeral.  A great example was at Dorothy's funeral John Kelsey told how Dorothy lived her life with a love and confidence in the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
• A celebration of life (funeral) is a time to reflect on how you or me can make an impact
• One last reason came from Jim Heath when he made the comment, "blood makes a difference".  That comes from the realization we should stay in contact with our family and not ignore the relationship.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• Time does not diminish the strength of our love or friendship
• Funerals are what you make of them.  You decide what you put in or take out.
• Just because I don't see you for 30 years does not mean I don't care or that I don't like you.  It means I am too danged busy and need to count my blessings and YOU are one of them.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com