Celebrations or Funerals

As most of us know Dorothy Kelsey and John Murphy left this old earth in the last two weeks.  I know one thing and that is both of these folks made a difference and if you are not sure you should have been there.  Now I do want to make it clear that I missed the celebration for John but I still got to hear a few stories from folks who made it to Dorothy's celebration.  If you are one of those folks who hate funerals you are not alone.  It is hard to mix happiness and sadness but if you stand back and watch and listen you have to feel lifted up and encouraged.

There were a few tears but just about everyone expressed how great it was to see old friends and to have a chance to tell stories about the loved ones who have left us.  There were stories of Dorothy's cookies at Christmas.  The story was that Dorothy had lots of cookies and lots of options.  She loved to bake and she loved to share.  She loved Christmas and made it special.  Another fact was that she played the organ at church for many years.  Mom talked about how Dorothy helped out in crafts during Boy Scout meetings and always volunteered when there was a need.  Now speaking of Boy Scouts, did you know that the only Eagle Scout out of Grainola was Joe Conner?  Well Joe was at the celebration and it was a joy for him and mom to see each other.  There was a genuine reunion and I know that Joe was there to celebrate how Dorothy impacted his life during Boy Scouts.

There were also stories of John Murphy floating around.  Everyone spoke of his orneriness.  That is probably the one trait that everyone remembers.  John was fun and sometimes a little over the top with the orneriness.  He is missed.

OK back to the story.  Why do we have parties or celebrations for folks we don't get to see very often and in fact sometimes don't spend hardly any time with in over 30 years?  Well let me tell you why it is important to go to one of these celebrations:

•  It is a time to honor someone who infected your life in a positive way
• Those people left behind are supported by their friends and encouraged by distant friends who tell them stories of how their families made a difference
• This may sound selfish but it is a time to reconnect with old friends and family
• A specific example how a funeral made a difference in my families life is about how two uncles who lived in the same town did not talk for 40 plus years only to reconnect at their fathers funeral and become best friends until they passed
• Another example is that some folks never hear about the love of Christ except at a funeral.  A great example was at Dorothy's funeral John Kelsey told how Dorothy lived her life with a love and confidence in the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
• A celebration of life (funeral) is a time to reflect on how you or me can make an impact
• One last reason came from Jim Heath when he made the comment, "blood makes a difference".  That comes from the realization we should stay in contact with our family and not ignore the relationship.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• Time does not diminish the strength of our love or friendship
• Funerals are what you make of them.  You decide what you put in or take out.
• Just because I don't see you for 30 years does not mean I don't care or that I don't like you.  It means I am too danged busy and need to count my blessings and YOU are one of them.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Heroes in your life

Probably, like most of you, there are heroes in your life that do not know the impact they had.  That is precisely why I started writing this blog.  You see the ironic thing is what motivated me to finally start blogging was the funeral for Don Kelsey and tomorrow is the service to remember Dorothy who passed away a few days ago.  Don and Dorothy and probably Kenny, just kidding, it does include Kenny impacted me with their lives.  You see heroes are those folks who in small ways and big ways made a difference in your life.  Too many times they do not get honored enough.

Here in a nut shell is how they affected my life and effected my life.   How do you like that Mrs. Head?  Oh well, Don of course was my first boss outside of Dad and he was a good example of working hard and getting rewarded for your efforts.  He was an encouragement because he was willing to try new things, like building a helicopter.  Dorothy gave me her love, her smile and encouragement and her laugh was infectious. She was a delight no matter what was going on in her life.  Kenny got her laugh and was creative beyond anyone his age.

Kenny would not even know it but I fell in love with art because I saw what he could do in drawing and was amazed by it.  I took art history in college and visited art museums around the world.  My wife always tells me how strange it is for me to have grown up in Grainola and Shidler and to have such an appreciation for art and poetry and other high brow type stuff.  Now figure that out will you?  I will have to tell you I do enjoy plays and music but some of that really high brow stuff puts me to sleep and in particular the symphony!  That is like taking a sleeping pill.

Heroes, make a list of those who made a difference and tell them before it is too late.  I know we all hesitate to do that because we are afraid we will forget someone and hurt their feelings.  I propose to you that you can make a BIG difference in someones life if you will tell them how they encouraged or helped you, even in the smallest way.

Well in summary, thank you EVERYONE FROM GRAINOLA AND SHIDLER  and the surrounding area for making a positive difference.

Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com

John Murphy

I guess I was just a little late finding out about John Murphy passing away last week.  John was a good friend although after moving away I hardly ever got to see him or talk to him.  John was always very friendly to me and would go out of his way to visit especially when I was home for a Shidler football game or homecoming. But what I remember most about John is his humor and dry wit.

Of course if you go back to some of the hold stories you will find about his concern for my pepsilyle (I don't think it was a word).  If you don't remember he had heard I had a turd in crossways.  But there are other stories like the time he got Jon Tanny up in the front end loader of a tractor and Jon Tanny wanted down and John Murphy acted like he could not hear.  Then there is the story of a barn salesman who came by and spent hours writing down every word because John pretended to be deaf.  The story goes that as the salesman left John told him "thanks for coming"  in spoken word.

I never knew if John just loved prairie chickens or did not like hunters but every season when the prairie chicken hunters would come to Grainola and hunt on Jim Olsen's place John would drive up and down the fence row making sure the hunters were not on his land and that the prairie chickens were not flying off of his property toward the hunters.

Another thing I really enjoyed about John was his love for OSU, Oklahoma State University or as he called it, Oklahoma A & M.  He was proud of OSU and he recruited constantly.  I felt like I let him down when I chose not to go there.   John set expectations for you and he was always and encouragement.  I don't remember him ever saying anything bad about anybody but I will never forget his kidding nature.  He was always good for a laugh.

Thanks to the Osage for John Murphy.
gary@thepioneerman.com

Dorothy Kelsey

Today is Thanksgiving 2012 and I am feeling blessed that I live in America, have a wonderful family and that Dorothy Kelsey was a part of my life.  Don, Dorothy and Kenny played an important part of my life but today with the passing of Dorothy and her celebration of life being tomorrow I have to bring back a few memories.

Dorothy had one of the sweetest laughs that made her special.  She spoiled Kenny and put  up with Don and his engineering extravaganzas like building a helicopter in the back yard and barn.  Most of all Dorothy was a beautiful person on the inside and outside. 

My fondest memories were when their family would come down to our house for a Friday or Saturday evening of card playing.  Typically the four adults would sit around the kitchen table drinking coffee and talking and playing cards.  But sometimes we would get to participate in 10 point pitch which was always my favorite card game.   

Of course Don was my first boss outside of Dad and Kenny was always the most talented and smartest guy in Grainola but as a little boy I thought Dorothy was the most beautiful and wonderful person and in fact when I was about in the second grade I told her she was my girl friend.  She accepted that responsibility and always gave me a hug. 

Dorothy was an encourager as she never seemed to get too worried or over react to situations like the time I threw a rock over the car and it hit Kenny in the head.  He was bleeding like a stuck hog (that means a lot of blood was coming out of his head).  Dorothy and Mom just patched him up and we went on playing.  Or how about the time Kenny and a bunch of us got into a rotten egg fight.  As a side note, now that I think about it, Kenny got his laugh from Dorothy.  Dorothy laughed easily and never got upset with us for getting that rotten egg smell all over us. 

You know as I think about it I think some of the reasons Dorothy and Mom did not get mad is they were probably a lot more ornery than we were when they were kids.  I think most of all they expected us to be kids and allowed us to make mistakes. 

Well in summary I just have to say it was a wonderful blessing to have Dorothy as a part of my life and she made a difference.  She will always be a part of me.

Thanks for your time,
Gary@thepioneerman.com


 

When I .....

It is a great thing that we don't know all the challenges we have to go through in life a head of time!  If we did we probably would not venture out of the comfort zone we all live in.  Think about it.  If each of us knew we were going to have an illness because of something we ate or be unhealthy because we did not exercise or suffer so much because we smoked we might change, or would we?  I think we are creatures of habit and what does not effect us quickly we ignore the consequences.  But that is not what I am writing about.  What I am writing about is the journey I started almost 60 years ago that led me to today.  Here is my first and maybe my last attempt to a little poetry:

When I

When I was young and clumsey
When I was happy and active
When I was big and shy
When I was in a hurry
When I was in trouble
When I worked hard
When I made mistakes
When I had my first love
When I had my heart broken
When I was disappointed
When I was successful
When I ........................

I became who I am

I took all those emotions and experiences and put them in a pot, stirred it with passion and disappointment, happiness and sadness to make a person who I hope is what God wants me to be.

I am going to have a great day.  What did you decide to have?

Today I start a new journey

What the Osage gave me was a brighter future.
Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com

Fried Eggs

Now there is one thing I can surely say has never been the same as when I was in the Osage.  In fact I had to teach my wife how to do it, fry eggs.  I never knew it until I was out of high school that folks just don't know about frying eggs and how good it can be.

First off it has to be early in the morning when there is still a little crispness in the air when you walk outside to get them just right.  What I mean is you have to walk out to the chicken house and gather the eggs.  Not those flimsy white eggs that are so small you have to use two in order to get one egg.  Those are what we call city eggs.  Now these eggs can be so fresh they are still warm in the nest from when the hen left it there for you.  By the way those hens don't really just let you get them either.  I have been pecked at so many times it just does not bother me.  Two side notes to this, one is that 'yes' this is the same chicken house where Eddy Harris and I use to gather and then have contest to throw them.  The second side story is once I was chewing gum and dropped it in the chicken house and when I reached down and picked it up and put it back in my mouth it was not the same Juicy Fruit I had lost.  Think about it.  Anyway after gathering the eggs I would scurry back to the house and mom had already fried some bacon (home grown of course).  Man, the smell was incredible and I should note it was not this wimpy bacon so thin you aren't sure it is even bacon.  I won't mention IHOP and Denny's but I will say that Jimmy's Egg is trying to get it right.  OK back to those eggs.

Mom could crack those eggs on the side of the skillet, dump the egg in the hot grease and keep right on adding eggs all with one hand.  I should also add right here that the space program just about ruined breakfast.  Can you guess how?  If you came from where I did you would know that TEFLON came from the space program and replaced the IRON SKILLET which is the only device suitable for cooking eggs correctly.  In fact all this stainless steel which is required by law in restaurants has been bad for cooking.  I guess I should "get over it".  Well here comes the secret to frying eggs.  When you put them in that little bit of hot bacon grease you don't bust the yolk right away.  The whites start getting that crispy edge to it then you take the flipper and poke the yolk just after adding a lot of pepper and salt.  Then you slowly mix it up and you get scrambled eggs the RIGHT WAY.  Dadgum that is good cookin!  No wonder there was many a time that Jim Olsen or Gordon Harris would drop by for breakfast.  Mom was a great hostess.

I know you are all going to say that that stuff will kill you but let me give you a scientific analysis of this cooking and good health.  My dad ate the same thing everyday for 87 years plus had meat at every meal, real butter, real bread, a wife that cooks like no other, the best fried chicken and chicken fried steak and the list goes on and on and to top it off the best pies, cobblers and cakes you can imagine.  Mom is 84 years old and still kicking and walking four miles a day.  My wife's grandad from Kiowa, Oklahoma ate the same way and he lived to 103, Bill Sorter was his name.  And I can name a whole lot more.

You can write all the articles and have the government fund all the studies you want but here is the solution to good health and I just gave you more scientific evidence to back up what my conclusions are.

Recipe for good health and good living:

• work hard every day, get off your a__ and get to work, do something
• if you are over weight, go back to work, physical work 
• marry a great wife, like I did
• have great kids
• go to church

As a wise friend of mine, Harry Birdwell, related his doctors advice to me who said, "have you ever seen a person overweight beyond 70 years old?". That sure made me think about getting off my a__.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Fry your dadgum eggs in bacon grease

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com