Christmas Mornings

Not too often did I ever wake up to a white Christmas but this year , 2012, the snow was gently falling as we sat by the kitchen table looking out the window.  The bird feeders were up and red birds were in full force with five male and two female.  There were also spotted wood peckers on the suite feeder and a red headed wood pecker close by.  There were chickadees and a pair of brown thrushes.  Of course most of the trees were bare except for a few oaks that held onto some brown leaves.  The grasses were brown and some shrubs had bright red berries which really showed due to the contrasting snow.  WOW!  What a sight. Our oldest son even commented that it was about the prettiest Christmas he remembered.

To top all of that off all my children and their spouses were sitting at the table drinking coffee and tea and relaxing after a late breakfast.  Now from my perspective even if there were no snow it was a beautiful Christmas.  With in-laws and out-laws and job pressure it is just difficult to get everyone together at one time and especially when no one is in a hurry to run to the next event.  Can it get any better than this?  I don't believe it can.  Yes we opened gifts later and went to the movies and ate again just like we do every year.  Traditions is what we call it and there is just something wonderful about tradition.  It is something you can depend on without change.

When growing up in the Osage one of my fondest traditions was getting up and going quail hunting.  Typically it was just Larry and I and whatever dog we had.  Now I will have to tell you we never had a bird dog but just a mutt of some kind. In fact many times we had to leave the dog at home because he or she was not trained to hunt birds and that can be a really big problem when a dog runs ahead of you jumping the birds before you get close enough.  Larry and I would walk for miles up and down Beaver Creek occasionally jumping a covey of birds.  One of my favorites was when we saw a covey  all bundled up in an area about the size of the bottom of a five gallon bucket just below the top of a creek bed where there was no snow but snow all around them.  Of course as we located them their heads perked up and they began to get nervous when suddenly they burst into flight.  Quail are very interesting in how they fly.  When they take off the pounding of their wings make a noise I cannot describe but then as they get airborne they cup their wings and glide while dipping and diving and banking left and right as they coast through the trees and brush.  Typically they only fly about 40 or 50 yards then hit the ground running.  They run extremely fast and are very difficult to track without a dog.  One of the most exciting things is when you almost step on one and they burst into flight scaring the dickens out of you.  I don't know what that means precisely but Mom and Dad always used the term.

Probably the best part of those hunting trips was just being with my brother and then arriving back at the house where your jeans were frozen and covered with snow.  At that point we would peel off our coats and shoes and run to the fireplace which dad would always have roaring with fire to greet us with its warmth.  Mom would have coffee (always) and many times hot chocolate waiting for us plus a breakfast spread like no other.  Wonderful memories!

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• There is no place like home (kinda like in the Wizard of Oz)
• Home is where your family is
• Share your memories with your kids

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Peanuts make cashews special

Life is like cashews without peanuts, that is the bad times make the good times special.

 If you had only cashews to eat how good would they taste?  If you had only peanuts to eat would peanuts taste great?  The idea here is that the more peanuts you have the more special cashews become.  Here are three examples to prove my point.

There was once a story about the Indians living in Oklahoma during a long drought.  It had gone on so long that there was almost nothing to eat.  So the chief decided to send out one of his braves to search for food.   In a couple of days the Indian brave came back to report what he found.  The chief was excited and asked him what he found.  The brave said well, "I have good news and bad news".  So the chief said, "give me the bad news" at which the brave said, "the bad news is all there is to eat is buffalo chips".  The chief was disappointed and said, "well, what is the good news?" to which the brave replied, "there are plenty of buffalo chips".  So perhaps you can see that even buffalo chips could taste good if you were hungry or they might taste good if there were some cashews to go with them.

So if you are not convinced yet how would you enjoy winter if not for the summer?  If not for hot weather would ice cream taste so good?  If not for thirst would a nice cold ice water taste great?

My life is like a cashew surrounded with a special peanut.  Today (21st of December) my wife and I have been married 38 wonderful years.  Why is that so special?  I believe it is because we have gone through thick and thin together.  We have shared successes with big time failures.  We have shared exhilaration with disappointment   A particularly good example of  this was when our third child was born and we were so excited that we called all our friends and family to tell them the good news.  A few hours later the doctor told us our son had down syndrome and we were scared and confused.  But when we held Preston in our arms there was no difference between him and our NORMAL children.  He was a new NUT added to our collection.  He was another cashew.  A few months later the doctors told us he was dangerously ill with infintile spasms and he had an 80% of not making it.  Six months later he was past it.   To say the least we have cried together and laughed together.  We enjoy Preston even more because he is special.

Now it is your turn, try some peanuts with your cashews.

I feel like a cashew surrounded by one wonderful peanut, Shouna Darla Olson, my wife of 38 years.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Variety is the spice of life
• Be thankful for the challenges in life
• Celebrate the victories

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Some folks just know how to take care of folks

It was the summer of 1975 right after I graduated from Southwestern Oklahoma State University in Weatherford, Oklahoma while I was working for EDS.  Now most of you don't even know what that is so let me update you.  There was a company founded by Ross Perot called Electronic Data Systems which basically founded the service bureau business in data processing.  Ross started with $2,000 and a lot of tenacity.  OK, back to the story.  I had been working for EDS about 2 months when I got one of those calls from home (MOM) saying that Dad was having surgery for what they thought was a tumor.  It was probably the first time I had experienced such a traumatic blow or at least it was the first one of this magnitude.  I think you could call it an earthquake of my soul.  All I could think about was what was going to happen to Dad.

I assume you are a lot like me in that the first thing you do is assume the worst and not assume that doctors know what they are doing or that all tumors are not fatal.  I was scared and it shook me up just having the thought that dad might not be around forever.

Well I was a rookie in a new job and very focused on my work but that next day when I got to the office I was not my usual self.  I remember wondering later how anyone knew something was bothering me but it seemed everyone noticed.   Charlie Vieth was my manager and Phil Sutphin was his and then there was a guy named Jerry Welch who was over him.  In that situation there were about 15 of us working in one big room with one office and Jerry got it so it was like working in a fish bowl in that everyone saw everything.  It was a fun environment to me in that everyone was about 10 to 20 years older than me and they were all military veterans that were focused on a mission called work.  Just as a side note and for a later date what we worked on was due diligence / proposals for large accounts around the world.  The most famous one was the Bank of Iran contract where we ultimately had two employees become prisoners of the new regime in Iran led by Iatola Kohamenia (I am sure I miss-spelled this but I tried to look it up on the web).  Ultimately there was a book and movie written about the ordeal.  Alright back to the story.  As I was sitting there working on the financial spreadsheets for the contract Charlie and Phil came up to me and asked, almost demanding, "what is going on?".  I told them nothing but they insisted   I shared that dad was having surgery this morning and I was concerned.  I have to tell you that even right now as I recall the situation I become teary eyed.  They told me to get out of there and go see my dad as he needed me more than they needed me.  They literally handed me my coat and everyone in the office rallied around me saying, "get out of here".  I called Shouna and told her we were going to Oklahoma to see dad.

By the time we got to the hospital in Oklahoma City there were flowers there and a card and I knew I had a great set of new friends who would do whatever it took when times got tough.  If this story does not resonate with you then let me share a few more and there are hundreds.

When I was in SE school at EDS (systems engineering) literally working 16 to 18 hours a day 7 days a week getting ready for some intense systems work Ross sent flowers with a thank you card to my wife for her sacrifice.  Ross use to go to the houses of all employees to thank spouses for their support and sacrifice but there got to be too many employees for that.  Ross understood that people were more important than work.  He understood that the TEAM of people were stronger than an individual.

I suppose you wonder how this relates to the Osage and quit frankly it is obvious to me.  So, what did I learn in the Osage?

• People are more important than houses and cars and stuff
• Tenacity is more important than skill or brain power
• Pride and knowing who you can depend on come from home (invest in your home and friends)
• No one person can stand up to pressure but when you know you have folks who support you hard times are just times of adjustment

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

You would be proud of Steve, even maybe jealous.

Now here is a day that will stick in my head for a long time.  I visited Steve on December 5, yesterday, and he was a delight.  HE brightened my day.  I don't know how you count your blessings but let me tell you how:

First off when I arrived Steve invited me immediately to come over and give him a hug.  He immediately made me welcome and introduced me to a bunch of friends who were standing around including Virginia (his sister) and Bill her husband.  The door on this place should have been one of those revolving doors like at the bank or big downtown building in the city, kinda like the door in ELF when the elf went round and round in the door until he was drunk acting.  Within the two hours I was there at least 50 folks came through to say high and see how he was doing.  He continually called everyone by name as they walked in the door and immediately introduced me as his high school buddy.  NO WONDER he had so many friends, he could remember everyone's name and was excited to introduce someone as his home town friend.  There were a few things I learned from Steve:

• Pride in your roots, the Osage and Shidler
• Friends have names, remember them.  I wished I could recall names so quickly.
• Based on a positive attitude and cheerful demeanor it was hard to tell Steve was the one with cancer. 

On Monday they said there were over 100 people visiting Steve.  Steve was blessed with friends.  There were several folks who came to visit about spiritual things like eternity but frankly there was so much activity it was difficult for anyone to have that type of conversation.  Steve was great even when one of the guys coming in who had a Bible under his arm.  Steve's immediate response was, " .. we are not ready for that yet", which I am certain meant it was not time for reading his last rights.  Typical Steve, always one step ahead. Sharp as ever.  

Well we got to talk about old times and how the girls always thought he was the cutest and I made sure he knew that was back then and not today.  We all had a big laugh.  We talked about how the Intrepids (his band with Nate Bonham, Gene Rash, and Wiley Smith) was formed and how Gene took lessons from someone in Ponca and then Gene would teach Steve how to play.  Steve was naturally a drummer and singer which proved out when he and a bunch of guys as an adult won a singing contest in Tulsa and made the front page of the Tulsa World.  Steve played every instrument and as always he said he had to learn them all because the school was so small he did not have a choice.  In particular I remember he played the tuba which seemed bigger than he was.  Just guessing, I would say he was no more than 135 pounds when he was in high school.

Speaking of the girls I don't think there was a girl that did not like Steve unless they just could not handle his quick wit (some would say, "quick mouth").  I fondly remember Marsha Cannon who was one of the prettiest girls in the class and we had a bunch of good lookers.  She was always dating a certain guy and I think Steve always wanted to date her but she was taken.  He use to give her crap over dating the other guy and he told me that some time after high school he and Marsha dated a little.  Marsha was the first person we lost from our class and as I recall it was cancer and about 25 years ago.  Unlike Steve she was a little more quiet and shy.

Now on sports he had a passion for baseball and could really get loud with the refs but he mostly detested referees in basketball.  The funny thing is he got thrown out at baseball games but never in basketball that I could remember.  He had a way of showing disgust at a bad call and getting away with it.  I was not so lucky and that is another story.  Steve and Ricky Cottle were two folks who could have their back to the rim, jump turn around in mid-air and shoot a goal and make it.  Amazing!

OK, I had better summarize what I intended when I started.

• A great life is not measured by your assets but by your friends and what you did with your assets
• you can drink beer, cuss a little or a lot, love people but in the end there is only one judge you have to stand before and HE is not going to ask you about your cussing or your drinking.  The only question HE is going to ask even though HE knows the answer is, "Why should I let you into heaven?".  And then there is only one answer and the question to that answer is, "Did you love ME and accept MY love by  grace?"  John 3:16
• My sins are no bigger or smaller than anyone else's, I am not perfect and neither are you

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Steve Chrisco

Steve had a level of sophistication, courage and blunt talent like no other.  I personally was lucky in that I met Steve even before I moved to Shidler High School.  The first time I ran into Steve was in Peewee baseball at the Shidler ball field during the summer.  Truth is I really did not know him but I knew of him because his pitching was off the charts.  He scared me to death with his fast ball.  In fact Rick Cottle and Steve were hot pitchers.  As a Grainola Grubber I had never seen a ball come at me so fast.  I don't think I ever got a hit off of Steve.  So when I graduated from Grainola and went to Shidler I got to experience "the rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would have said.  By the way do you know that Paul Harvey was from Oklahoma?

The old ball park

The rest of the story is Steve was an Icon in that he could do about anything.  He had the courage to try new things and say things that I would never say.  I remember he could play quarterback and lead the basketball team and make the craziest shots in basketball and pitch a curve or fastball better than anyone and he even played in the band during halftime.  He played Elvis better than Elvis.  He sang and danced like no other.  The girls loved him and I just marveled at the talent.  But there is one thing I know that almost none of you know about Steve and I am going to tell you about it.

Class of 1971 (Steve is in the middle to the right of John Payne in the black hat)

I will have to tell you I saw myself as a shy person who just loved life and enjoyed other folks courage.  Well Steve showed me courage like no other one night when he and a few of my buddies were staying at our house on Beaver Creek.  Steve reached into his pocket late that night and pulled out a cigarette lighter and then proceeded to show us a scientific fact. As a side note, just to let you know we were 8th graders at the time so our level of sophistication was very mature.  As Steve lit the lighter he passed a lot of gas which he lit and I saw something new to me.  A ball of fire exploded and it burnt the hair off his butt!  WOW!  As you can imagine all of us wanted to experience such a feat.  We must have farted for an hour while each took turns with the lighter.  Then Steve taught us that if you take Right Guard, the newest in deodorant at the time, and put the lighter to it you had a torch!  You could say that Steve en LIGHTENED us that evening.

For years to come I watched Steve keep us all entertained.  He had a band called the Roustabouts (I think that was the name) or at least he was part of the band.  At any time he was the star of the party and a joy to watch.  Great memories.

Well I have to say thanks to Steve for being such a big part of our class at dear old Shidler High.  

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Celebrations or Funerals

As most of us know Dorothy Kelsey and John Murphy left this old earth in the last two weeks.  I know one thing and that is both of these folks made a difference and if you are not sure you should have been there.  Now I do want to make it clear that I missed the celebration for John but I still got to hear a few stories from folks who made it to Dorothy's celebration.  If you are one of those folks who hate funerals you are not alone.  It is hard to mix happiness and sadness but if you stand back and watch and listen you have to feel lifted up and encouraged.

There were a few tears but just about everyone expressed how great it was to see old friends and to have a chance to tell stories about the loved ones who have left us.  There were stories of Dorothy's cookies at Christmas.  The story was that Dorothy had lots of cookies and lots of options.  She loved to bake and she loved to share.  She loved Christmas and made it special.  Another fact was that she played the organ at church for many years.  Mom talked about how Dorothy helped out in crafts during Boy Scout meetings and always volunteered when there was a need.  Now speaking of Boy Scouts, did you know that the only Eagle Scout out of Grainola was Joe Conner?  Well Joe was at the celebration and it was a joy for him and mom to see each other.  There was a genuine reunion and I know that Joe was there to celebrate how Dorothy impacted his life during Boy Scouts.

There were also stories of John Murphy floating around.  Everyone spoke of his orneriness.  That is probably the one trait that everyone remembers.  John was fun and sometimes a little over the top with the orneriness.  He is missed.

OK back to the story.  Why do we have parties or celebrations for folks we don't get to see very often and in fact sometimes don't spend hardly any time with in over 30 years?  Well let me tell you why it is important to go to one of these celebrations:

•  It is a time to honor someone who infected your life in a positive way
• Those people left behind are supported by their friends and encouraged by distant friends who tell them stories of how their families made a difference
• This may sound selfish but it is a time to reconnect with old friends and family
• A specific example how a funeral made a difference in my families life is about how two uncles who lived in the same town did not talk for 40 plus years only to reconnect at their fathers funeral and become best friends until they passed
• Another example is that some folks never hear about the love of Christ except at a funeral.  A great example was at Dorothy's funeral John Kelsey told how Dorothy lived her life with a love and confidence in the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
• A celebration of life (funeral) is a time to reflect on how you or me can make an impact
• One last reason came from Jim Heath when he made the comment, "blood makes a difference".  That comes from the realization we should stay in contact with our family and not ignore the relationship.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• Time does not diminish the strength of our love or friendship
• Funerals are what you make of them.  You decide what you put in or take out.
• Just because I don't see you for 30 years does not mean I don't care or that I don't like you.  It means I am too danged busy and need to count my blessings and YOU are one of them.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Heroes in your life

Probably, like most of you, there are heroes in your life that do not know the impact they had.  That is precisely why I started writing this blog.  You see the ironic thing is what motivated me to finally start blogging was the funeral for Don Kelsey and tomorrow is the service to remember Dorothy who passed away a few days ago.  Don and Dorothy and probably Kenny, just kidding, it does include Kenny impacted me with their lives.  You see heroes are those folks who in small ways and big ways made a difference in your life.  Too many times they do not get honored enough.

Here in a nut shell is how they affected my life and effected my life.   How do you like that Mrs. Head?  Oh well, Don of course was my first boss outside of Dad and he was a good example of working hard and getting rewarded for your efforts.  He was an encouragement because he was willing to try new things, like building a helicopter.  Dorothy gave me her love, her smile and encouragement and her laugh was infectious. She was a delight no matter what was going on in her life.  Kenny got her laugh and was creative beyond anyone his age.

Kenny would not even know it but I fell in love with art because I saw what he could do in drawing and was amazed by it.  I took art history in college and visited art museums around the world.  My wife always tells me how strange it is for me to have grown up in Grainola and Shidler and to have such an appreciation for art and poetry and other high brow type stuff.  Now figure that out will you?  I will have to tell you I do enjoy plays and music but some of that really high brow stuff puts me to sleep and in particular the symphony!  That is like taking a sleeping pill.

Heroes, make a list of those who made a difference and tell them before it is too late.  I know we all hesitate to do that because we are afraid we will forget someone and hurt their feelings.  I propose to you that you can make a BIG difference in someones life if you will tell them how they encouraged or helped you, even in the smallest way.

Well in summary, thank you EVERYONE FROM GRAINOLA AND SHIDLER  and the surrounding area for making a positive difference.

Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com

John Murphy

I guess I was just a little late finding out about John Murphy passing away last week.  John was a good friend although after moving away I hardly ever got to see him or talk to him.  John was always very friendly to me and would go out of his way to visit especially when I was home for a Shidler football game or homecoming. But what I remember most about John is his humor and dry wit.

Of course if you go back to some of the hold stories you will find about his concern for my pepsilyle (I don't think it was a word).  If you don't remember he had heard I had a turd in crossways.  But there are other stories like the time he got Jon Tanny up in the front end loader of a tractor and Jon Tanny wanted down and John Murphy acted like he could not hear.  Then there is the story of a barn salesman who came by and spent hours writing down every word because John pretended to be deaf.  The story goes that as the salesman left John told him "thanks for coming"  in spoken word.

I never knew if John just loved prairie chickens or did not like hunters but every season when the prairie chicken hunters would come to Grainola and hunt on Jim Olsen's place John would drive up and down the fence row making sure the hunters were not on his land and that the prairie chickens were not flying off of his property toward the hunters.

Another thing I really enjoyed about John was his love for OSU, Oklahoma State University or as he called it, Oklahoma A & M.  He was proud of OSU and he recruited constantly.  I felt like I let him down when I chose not to go there.   John set expectations for you and he was always and encouragement.  I don't remember him ever saying anything bad about anybody but I will never forget his kidding nature.  He was always good for a laugh.

Thanks to the Osage for John Murphy.
gary@thepioneerman.com

Dorothy Kelsey

Today is Thanksgiving 2012 and I am feeling blessed that I live in America, have a wonderful family and that Dorothy Kelsey was a part of my life.  Don, Dorothy and Kenny played an important part of my life but today with the passing of Dorothy and her celebration of life being tomorrow I have to bring back a few memories.

Dorothy had one of the sweetest laughs that made her special.  She spoiled Kenny and put  up with Don and his engineering extravaganzas like building a helicopter in the back yard and barn.  Most of all Dorothy was a beautiful person on the inside and outside. 

My fondest memories were when their family would come down to our house for a Friday or Saturday evening of card playing.  Typically the four adults would sit around the kitchen table drinking coffee and talking and playing cards.  But sometimes we would get to participate in 10 point pitch which was always my favorite card game.   

Of course Don was my first boss outside of Dad and Kenny was always the most talented and smartest guy in Grainola but as a little boy I thought Dorothy was the most beautiful and wonderful person and in fact when I was about in the second grade I told her she was my girl friend.  She accepted that responsibility and always gave me a hug. 

Dorothy was an encourager as she never seemed to get too worried or over react to situations like the time I threw a rock over the car and it hit Kenny in the head.  He was bleeding like a stuck hog (that means a lot of blood was coming out of his head).  Dorothy and Mom just patched him up and we went on playing.  Or how about the time Kenny and a bunch of us got into a rotten egg fight.  As a side note, now that I think about it, Kenny got his laugh from Dorothy.  Dorothy laughed easily and never got upset with us for getting that rotten egg smell all over us. 

You know as I think about it I think some of the reasons Dorothy and Mom did not get mad is they were probably a lot more ornery than we were when they were kids.  I think most of all they expected us to be kids and allowed us to make mistakes. 

Well in summary I just have to say it was a wonderful blessing to have Dorothy as a part of my life and she made a difference.  She will always be a part of me.

Thanks for your time,
Gary@thepioneerman.com


 

When I .....

It is a great thing that we don't know all the challenges we have to go through in life a head of time!  If we did we probably would not venture out of the comfort zone we all live in.  Think about it.  If each of us knew we were going to have an illness because of something we ate or be unhealthy because we did not exercise or suffer so much because we smoked we might change, or would we?  I think we are creatures of habit and what does not effect us quickly we ignore the consequences.  But that is not what I am writing about.  What I am writing about is the journey I started almost 60 years ago that led me to today.  Here is my first and maybe my last attempt to a little poetry:

When I

When I was young and clumsey
When I was happy and active
When I was big and shy
When I was in a hurry
When I was in trouble
When I worked hard
When I made mistakes
When I had my first love
When I had my heart broken
When I was disappointed
When I was successful
When I ........................

I became who I am

I took all those emotions and experiences and put them in a pot, stirred it with passion and disappointment, happiness and sadness to make a person who I hope is what God wants me to be.

I am going to have a great day.  What did you decide to have?

Today I start a new journey

What the Osage gave me was a brighter future.
Thanks for your time,
gary@thepioneerman.com

Fried Eggs

Now there is one thing I can surely say has never been the same as when I was in the Osage.  In fact I had to teach my wife how to do it, fry eggs.  I never knew it until I was out of high school that folks just don't know about frying eggs and how good it can be.

First off it has to be early in the morning when there is still a little crispness in the air when you walk outside to get them just right.  What I mean is you have to walk out to the chicken house and gather the eggs.  Not those flimsy white eggs that are so small you have to use two in order to get one egg.  Those are what we call city eggs.  Now these eggs can be so fresh they are still warm in the nest from when the hen left it there for you.  By the way those hens don't really just let you get them either.  I have been pecked at so many times it just does not bother me.  Two side notes to this, one is that 'yes' this is the same chicken house where Eddy Harris and I use to gather and then have contest to throw them.  The second side story is once I was chewing gum and dropped it in the chicken house and when I reached down and picked it up and put it back in my mouth it was not the same Juicy Fruit I had lost.  Think about it.  Anyway after gathering the eggs I would scurry back to the house and mom had already fried some bacon (home grown of course).  Man, the smell was incredible and I should note it was not this wimpy bacon so thin you aren't sure it is even bacon.  I won't mention IHOP and Denny's but I will say that Jimmy's Egg is trying to get it right.  OK back to those eggs.

Mom could crack those eggs on the side of the skillet, dump the egg in the hot grease and keep right on adding eggs all with one hand.  I should also add right here that the space program just about ruined breakfast.  Can you guess how?  If you came from where I did you would know that TEFLON came from the space program and replaced the IRON SKILLET which is the only device suitable for cooking eggs correctly.  In fact all this stainless steel which is required by law in restaurants has been bad for cooking.  I guess I should "get over it".  Well here comes the secret to frying eggs.  When you put them in that little bit of hot bacon grease you don't bust the yolk right away.  The whites start getting that crispy edge to it then you take the flipper and poke the yolk just after adding a lot of pepper and salt.  Then you slowly mix it up and you get scrambled eggs the RIGHT WAY.  Dadgum that is good cookin!  No wonder there was many a time that Jim Olsen or Gordon Harris would drop by for breakfast.  Mom was a great hostess.

I know you are all going to say that that stuff will kill you but let me give you a scientific analysis of this cooking and good health.  My dad ate the same thing everyday for 87 years plus had meat at every meal, real butter, real bread, a wife that cooks like no other, the best fried chicken and chicken fried steak and the list goes on and on and to top it off the best pies, cobblers and cakes you can imagine.  Mom is 84 years old and still kicking and walking four miles a day.  My wife's grandad from Kiowa, Oklahoma ate the same way and he lived to 103, Bill Sorter was his name.  And I can name a whole lot more.

You can write all the articles and have the government fund all the studies you want but here is the solution to good health and I just gave you more scientific evidence to back up what my conclusions are.

Recipe for good health and good living:

• work hard every day, get off your a__ and get to work, do something
• if you are over weight, go back to work, physical work 
• marry a great wife, like I did
• have great kids
• go to church

As a wise friend of mine, Harry Birdwell, related his doctors advice to me who said, "have you ever seen a person overweight beyond 70 years old?". That sure made me think about getting off my a__.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Fry your dadgum eggs in bacon grease

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

A frog and a prince - inspired by Mrs. Helen Head

Last weekend was one of my favorite times each year when I get the chance to go back to the Osage and visit the places I grew up and more importantly the people who made a difference in my life.  Helen Head is four months from turning 90 years on this earth.  She was an inspiration to hundreds and probably thousands of students she taught but many she touched in ways you cannot imagine.  Today I would like to ask all of you who were touched by her to write a short letter and send it to the Shidler Review to be published over the next few months as Mrs. Head closes in on 90 years.  But here is my story about Mrs. Head.  I have two favorites but only one I can figure out how to publish and that is another story.

Mrs. Head (College English) seemed to get great joy in coming to class and dropping a bomb of an assignment on us.  This one in particular resonates with me over the years.  She came to class with a frog attached to an air hose which she sat on her desk then proceeded to compress a small ball pushing air through the small hose which was attached to the frog.  The frog would jump forward guided by the escaping air going through its body causing its legs to straighten out pushing the body forward just like a normal frog creating a leaping action.  Mrs. Head said very little about this inspiring event other than she demanded we write a story of what we observed.

This type of thing just ticked me off because it had no meaning to me.  I thought she had lost her rocker.  Well anyway I find myself today thinking that was precisely the type of thing that helped me think "outside the box".  I was the type of person that everything had to be logical and make sense and have a purpose I could relate to at that time.  I had to see the value in something to deal with it.  Well, the great thing I learned is sometimes there is "no right or wrong answer".  I learned that my imagination was more important than everything adding up and balancing.  In fact this reminds me of the commercial saying America is number 32 in world math skills.  I ask myself, thanks to Mrs. Head, is that what is important or just a fact based on someones analysis?  What I learned from the frog and Mrs. Head is critical thinking skills and the ability to look beyond the obvious is most important.  Show me that America is 32nd in the world where folks want to live and thrive.  NOT!  America is number 1 and proud of it.

You see that frog helped turn me into a prince.  Not in the royalty sort of way but in a person who can think and reason beyond the pundits who say ridiculous things just to score political points.  Rather appropriate at this time every four years.

For me I want to be the frog free from its umbilical cord full of air doing what someone else says.  I want to be free to be all I can be and think and act freely, as long as it is moral and ethical, to better my situation not at your expense but mine.  I want to be a prince responsible for my decisions and actions even if there are consequences I neither anticipated or hoped for.  (Mrs. Head would not like that sentence since it ended with "for").

Thank you Mrs. Head for taking frogs and making them into princes and princesses.  You are forever loved and appreciated for a magnificent gift.

I can not help but end with "what do you learn in the Osage?".

• A frog on a string might be one of the greatest gifts you can ever receive
• Life lessons may have strings attached or air hoses
• Growth in life is a decision and sometimes we have to take things we don't like and find the good in them

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Grainola Methodist Church and Kerney Graham

Grainola, Foraker and Webb City Methodist Churches were on a circuit so each Sunday whoever was the preacher had to go to all the churches and preach.  There was a lot of good things about that church but most of all it was the folks in the community.  I remember my folks making, yes - forced, me to go when I was a kid, just about every Sunday.  Today someone would call that child abuse but it was just normal.   We sat in the fourth row from the back on the north set of pews.  It seemed that everyone and every family had their own pew.  Marguarete and Jim and of course Jamie, Jon Tanny and Jay sat in the front on the south side to be close to the organ because Maggie (Marguarete) played the organ.  Boy was it a big deal when we got the organ on top of having a piano.  Larry and Dorothy Olsen, Tanny and Levi went to church in Dexter but on occasion came to Grainola.  Just about everyone came some of the time and especially on Christmas and Easter.  I gotta tell you a story someday about Larry and Dorothy, don't let me forget.

The men wore felt cowboy hats in the winter and straw cowboy hats in the summer.  You could always expect them to wear their best hat on Sunday.  It was always interesting to know that as their hats got older there was a sweat mark around the hat and soon enough they would get another.  I don't think anyone wore hats to avoid getting cancer but to keep the hot sun off their heads.  Now Carl McConaghy always wore a hat because he could feel the heat sooner than most, if you know what I mean.  It was a shame but when baseball type hats got in gear the cowboy hats started disappearing except for funerals and weddings.

OK, so back to Kerney and the church.  When you are growing up and especially when you have a young family there is always a preacher that comes up special.  In our case it was Kerney.  I remember his family coming over after church for our Sunday roast beef with potatoes and carrots.  It seemed that about once a month or so they would come over after church and we would sit around and visit.  Kerney had a great influence on our lives and at that time we had a very active MYF (Methodist Youth Fellowship) which my brother Larry and C.H. Codding were especially active in.  The best part of MYF for me was that Cindy Hustead went to the Webb City location and was a member of the MYF.  I thought she was tops.  I never really did much with MYF and I don't really remember why other than It was about that time Kerney left and I started going to Shidler High School where I fell in love with sports.

Over the years my family always stayed in touch with Kerney and family.  As I remember he moved to Hominy and Newkirk and a few other towns over the years to serve a new group of families.  He seemed to always be the preacher of choice for weddings and funerals long after he left.  In fact he was the preacher at my dad's funeral and it was exceptional.  He expressed how when we are standing on this side of a wide body of water saying goodbye to dad who has just left us that there was another group of folks welcoming him home on the other side.  Now I don't know about you but that is about as clear a picture as I can think of when a person dies and Christ is welcoming them home.  I can still see Grandpa Olson and Grandma waiving at him saying, "Hurry, it has been too long and we want to hug your neck".  Kerney made the meaning of knowing my destination with Christ real and clear and simple.  He was a blessing.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• A great leader is a great servant, just like Kerney
• Even when you are sad someone is rejoicing on the other side
• Dying is like trading commodities - there are winners and losers so it is best to make a good choice
• Eternity can be a great journey if you choose Christ
• Have a great day, it is YOUR choice

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Should we focus on our goals or on our journey?

Should we focus on our goals or on our journey?

I have spent most of my life thinking about my goals but realized what I have been doing is writing and thinking about my journey.  It is with this thought I look backward and forward on where I have been and where I am going.

Goals are a great thing and I personally believe we should write them down.  I started writing them down when I was a senior in dear old Shidler High.  I spoke them to myself many times and many ways long before I wrote them down.  For example, I always wanted to be funny and smart like Jim Heath who was and is the smartest guy and the funniest.  We went to school together for 12 years.  I wanted to be fast like Hugh Allen Jones.  I also wanted to write real neat like Hugh Allen.  I wanted to be able to fix things like Jon Tanny Olsen who could fix any vehicle or tractor or combine long before he could legally drive.  He could just figure things out.  I wanted to be admired by my teachers like they would always praise the work of Denise Logue and Joy Frank.  Sure these are small things but they were the building blocks of what I was and am today. 

But what really resonates with me is that it was not as much my goals that lead my behavior but my journey.  My journey was filled with lots of small things that added up.  Some were bad things and some were good.  In fact I wrote myself a note today: 

• ·      By losing do you win?
• ·      Is losing really winning?

It depends on YOU, your attitude and how you reflect on those things.

I look in my rear view mirror through Christ who strengthens me and I focus on what I learned.  I look through my windshield where Christ deflects the bugs and the wind of my life.  Putting all of this together brings me to this conclusion:

·      Constant growth personally and professionally on a daily if not hourly basis is the brick that is laid, one at a time, cemented together creating a sturdy wall that I can stand on, reflect on and rely on when times get tough and when things are great.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• ·      A great journey depends on the people you grow up with
• ·      A great journey depends on the people you surround yourself with
• ·      And a great journey depends on how you ground your morals, principles and ethics in life and it was a free gift

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Sometimes when you know where you are going you are still wrong

Sometimes when you know where you are going you are still wrong.

When we lived on Beaver Creek in the Osage my dad would always make sure I was doing something worth doing.  Somehow when he told me something to do I knew I had better get it done.   Anyway, once he told me to get the tractor and the rake and bring it to him so when he was done cutting hay he could start raking.  Now just in case you did not know a rake is an implement used to take cut hay and put in rows like in the picture.  Now this picture shows a swather which belongs to the McConaghy’s in Grainola.  Basically a swather took a hay cutter (mower or sickle bar mower) and a rake and combined them to make it more efficient.  So anyhow, I hooked up the rake to the tractor and took off to where I thought dad was working.  Notice I said thought!  Well I crossed the creek and drove through the woods to get to the far west side of our property.  Now that was not a simple matter since there was not a road wide enough through the trees for the rake.  It took me more than an hour to get over there to only find I was in the wrong place and had to come back the same way I came.  When I got back, right in front of the house is where dad was working cutting a 20 acre field of Bermuda grass.  Luckily he was in a good mood and just laughed and asked what I was doing and where was I going.

So what is the point?  What do you  learn in the Osage?

• ·      I was determined to get “where I thought I was going” only to find I was going to the wrong place.  Stop, ask questions, get clarity before you take off and go somewhere.
• ·      This also begs the question, “how do you change directions in your life if you don’t know where you are going?”  Do a little planning and thinking.
• ·      It don’t make sense to shoot, aim and pull the trigger.  Think about it.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

It is never too late to start

I am sure if you are like me, which I am certain you are, you have realized that life is not always easy and things don't go your way all the time.  But when I was very young and too young to remember I was sick for more than a year.  In fact I spent most of my first year and I did spend my first birthday in the hospital.  By my second birthday they had taken out my tonsils and they figured out I was extremely allergic to milk.  Now that is not too big of a problem, normally.

My challenge was that I was living in Grainola which is about 50 miles from Pawhuska, Ponca City and Winfield, Kansas (where I was born).  That means we lived a long way from being able to get to the doctor or hospital in a hurry and many times mom and dad needed to hurry because I could not breath due to allergies.  I do have to explain that I always lived in Grainola growing up but our family doctor was in Winfield.  The second problem is we lived on a dairy farm and we milked cows so milk was in everything.  There was another problem with living on a farm and that was I was allergic to dust.

OK, so back to the point.  Well do you remember when you did not get the best grade?  I remember when we had spelling contest every Friday and Debbie Jones and in fact almost everyone else in the class out spelled me.  I sat down faster than anyone else.  The way it worked is if you were given a word to spell and you were wrong you got to sit down.  I just hoped I would be the last in line so I could sit down later rather than sooner.  I NEVER WON.  Then there was penmanship which I was lousy at.  It was not that I did not want to be good but it was that I did not have the patience and some might say the talent.

Of course we can go on and on with those disappointments in life but you know I think that is what makes all of us better, hard times, disappointments, hurts, pains, cuts, bruises (sometimes on the bottom if you know what I mean), headaches, and on and on.  If a person learns early on how to deal with these things and learns everything is not handed to them but EARNED I believe it makes them a better person.  You see (metaphorically speaking and that is the biggest word I know) it is impossible to protect a child from everything but it is possible to be their cheer leader and encourage them when it gets tough.  YOU can share wisdom or just be an EXAMPLE for them on how to overcome and that their decisions are what make the difference and how they react to challenges.

I guess I am just trying to say we need to stop enabling children to be poor decision makers and start being what we need to be as an example and mentor.  With that I am taking the position "it is never too late to start".   Mentor someone, help someone, start again on your own life but don't give in to defeat or depression or misfortune.

So what do you learn from the Osage?

• when the going gets tough the tough get going
• defeat is a frame of mind not a permanent part of us
• If life were easy we would not appreciate the good times
• Let's all get started

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneeman.com

Five frogs are sitting on a log

When I was a kid I remember hearing a riddle, "Five frogs are sitting on a log.  Four decide to jump off.  How many are left?"  This riddle probably created more angst in me than you can imagine.  You may be like me and said, "There is one left".  Well you and I were wrong.  All five are left.  The four only decided to jump off.  In other words they never did anything.  That is the point of this story.

When I was growing up and even when dad was 87 years old he said, "let's go do something even if it is wrong."  Two days before he went in the hospital he showed up at my house in Edmond about 6:00 A.M., yes, in the morning.   He drove from Perkins, just south of Stillwater.  Go figure.  That means "think about it".  He must have gotten up around four in the morning, got dressed, had breakfast at Around the Corner in Edmond and then showed up at my house.  If you have not figured out yet that my dad was a "doer, getter done" kind of person you are a little slow.  Anyway back to the house in Edmond, "Clifford Farms" which was named after him, he proceeded to tell me he was going to go weed eat.  There are two things about this that were ridiculous:  First, he was 87 years old and it would be embarrassing for me to have someone see an 87 year old man weed eating around my house.  Second, my driveway was about 1/2 mile long not counting the front of the property which he would also weed eat.  The property was 80 acres!  Dad and for that matter Mom were and are both crazy hard workers.  After dad informed me what he was gonna do I emphatically informed him that he could not weed eat my property.  He stuck his tongue out at me and said, "piss on you".  Now I know that is not the nicest way of talking but that is the fact of what he said.

If you ever watched the movie "True Grit"  with John Wayne you saw a 10th or 100th of the true grit of my parents.  They were Real Gold from the Osage.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Deciding and doing are two different things
• You are not done until you are done and that is when you decide or your body just quits
• Dad never quit but his body did
• Put your value in doing something to the end
• don't quit early in life
• If you intend to do something, go do it, don't intend to the end

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com