what is on my mind?

Nothing, just kidding, my mind runs a hundred miles an hour.  I get kidded a lot for thinking outside the box or being so creative or just being a problem solver.  All of these are for the most part complimentary but sometimes it also causes problems.  The times it becomes a problem is when people around me cannot handle the number of options I can throw out and especially when I verbally make things easier than they really are.  So here is where you should go look up Julian Codding's website (a good old Foraker/Shidler boy) www.juliankcodding.com and listen to him talk about keeping things simple.  Back to the story.

I don't know when it started in my life but somewhere I found this talent to figure out solutions to problems.  I guess if I look back to Dad, Cliff Olson, I should know that an acorn does not fall far from the tree.  I remember Dad could stand and look at something and come up with solutions that were far from any idea I had.  A couple of examples:  we had a problem with cattle getting out because it was next to impossible to build a fence across Beaver Creek to keep them in.  So Dad devised what we called a Water Gap.  Truthfully I still don't know why we called it that but here is what he did.  We went to our trusty old junk pile where we kept all the used machinery and parts.  Every farmer had one.  We took an old lister (used to cut and bundle wheat or grass) and proceeded to the south end of our property where the creek crossed over to Aunt Helen's and Soup Wade's property.  We then took a super heavy steel cable and hung it across the creek and we wrapped  it around two trees, one on each side of the creek.  If you cannot visualize this think of hanging a piece of wire between two posts or trees and then needing to tighten it to get it straight.  With a cable about 1 inch in diameter you should be able to understand there are significant problems with this.  First it is extremely heavy when you stretch it over 100 feet and of course we used the tractor to tighten it.  But think about this, how are you going to take that cable and get it wrapped around the tree when it is attached to the tractor?  And what happens if that cable brakes?  Someone is going to get killed, literally.  Honestly I do not remember how we solved this issue but we did or I should say Dad did. 

Well I have to tell you that was just one big problem and when you stretch a cable like that it is NOT going to be straight across the creek and you would not know it but that creek was very deep at this point.  Second problem:  How are you going to get that lister attached to the cable and hang it in the creek and how is that going to stop the cattle when the creek is much wider than the lister.  You think you are pretty smart?  Dad takes the cake.  We cabled the lister to the other long cable then used the tractor to pull the lister off the creek bank to be suspended into the middle of the creek.  Next problem?  how do you get the gap between the lister and the creek and the banks of the creek to be blocked so the cattle cannot get through?  Temporarily we attached barbed wire to the lister but the real solution came with the rain.  Yes, the rain.  When the creek rises the dead trees and limbs float down the river and accumulate around the lister creating a damn or a fence which stops the cattle.  Problem solved.  Actually there is another story about that Water Gap I need to tell but later for it.

I loved the engineer in Dad even though he never went to college I would put him up against anyone on solving problems.  He had a talent that kept me in awe.  The funny thing is his grandsons got it just like him: Cliff Crow, Richard Crow and Chase Olson.

Well what do you learn in the Osage?

• Street smarts starts on the farm
• Perseverance and common sense far outweigh IQ
• Don't ever judge a person by their ability but by their results

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

or golson21@hotmail.com for faster responses

Sometimes I wish I had an extra Chromosome, just like Preston

In life I have learned that everyone has hang-ups and self esteem issues, or at least they should have some self esteem issues else they are a little or a lot too proud except for those with one more chromosome.

I cannot read Preston's mind but I watch his actions and I have to believe he has an advantage over all of us regular folks.  Sure, he does suffer from anxiety sometimes like the Holy Shit story I told but he wakes up every morning ready to take on the world in a positive manner.  He never and I really do mean never wakes up angry or mad or thinking about how he might be slower in speech or slower to learn and he certainly does not grouse around about work.  On the contrary he gets up, makes his bed, puts on his clothes with a positive attitude and there is one problem here.  He opens all the window shades then strips and puts on his clothes for the day, You might have to visualize that to understand it.  Now maybe that is a good thing in that he does not get hung up about who might see through his window and see his modestly round body butt naked.  He just does not have all the hang-ups or baggage the rest of us carry around.  Back to his routine:  He then goes around the house turning on every light, closes every cabinet or door and opens doors that are closed so he can turn on the lights then shuts the door as he goes on his routine.  If you left something out on the counter like Shouna does (often) when she is making her HOT WATER (that is another story we should cover) and most of the time it is actually in the microwave where Preston finds it and puts it in the sink and the dishwasher.  NOTHING should be left where it does not belong, not even the microwave because if it is done you should have removed it and gone on to your own chores or duties.  Can you imagine what life would be like if we would just do the things we know we should without hesitation or procrastination or a bad attitude.  He doesn't even consider how helpful this is to others or how it makes the house neater or cleaner or less messy or nicer for everyone except of course Shouna who would like to get her hot water before the CLEANER comes through.

I don't know about you but I get embarrassed easily and always feel that most people are smarter than me and I am a person always concerned with who likes me and why don't they are why don't they respond as I wish they would.  It drives me nuts that I cannot remember everyone's names or respond quick enough and think of what I should have later after it is too late.  If that does not make sense to you let me give you an example and I will not give you names to protect the innocent.  Last night I was at a concert and there was a person there who is a leader and I know him very well but for some reason he made no attempt to reach out and say hello which in Oklahoma is a requirement for even complete strangers.  If you are a Yankee you obviously find this uncomfortable until you acclimate your behavior.  For Yankees eye contact with a stranger is off the charts as unacceptable but in Oklahoma it is a requirement of social norm.  So I was wondering if he has a burr up his butt ( that is Okie talk for having a problem with someone) or if I had offended him or if he was perhaps embarrassed because of something he had done.  Or how about the person you want to be friends with but for some reason you feel they are ignoring you.  Well the point is Preston does not see this and does not concern himself with what others are thinking, he just loves them anyway.  He approaches them and does not allow them to pass and leave an elephant in the room.  Do you know what I am talking about?  Preston believes it is his duty to talk to everyone and be friendly with them.  He also has an agenda of love to pass along and it typically is about Jesus or he shares a story about someone who passed away years ago or recently and he feels you should know it.  Basically his extra chromosome allows him to be un-inhibited, kind of like the person who has to do some drinking to loosen up.  So the moral to that is if you think you need a drink to relax just get an extra chromosome.

Well in summary if you are not satisfied with yourself because you had one of the following issues:

• bad business business decisions
• trusted a friend and he cheated you
• married and your spouse left you
• you left your spouse because you got mad
• you said something that you wish you could take back
• your finances are not what they should be or are on a train wreck
• your job stinks or your boss is a jerk
• your kids don't meet your expectations
• you don't meet the expectations of your parents or someone you think is important
• you think you are stupid or at least as smart as you think you need to be
• you are insecure
• you are not good looking enough or as good looking as someone else
• you have doubts about yourself
• you made too many bad decisions and you don't think Jesus forgives
• you are a disappointment to yourself
• you think you are not disciplined
• you are too busy or too lazy
• the list goes on and on

there are three options to fixing these and if you can do all three but you may not be fixed but you will feel better everyday:

• get focused on Jesus (not yourself) as he forgives and overlooks ALL the bad, no one is good enough
• get an extra chromosome
• suck it up and get over it

I don't have most of these problems but I, like almost everyone, suffer in self esteem in one form or another and am self conscience about some things which prevent me from being the person I want to be but through the blood of Jesus Christ I can see tomorrow in a better light.  So here is my summary:

Some folks have a glass half full

Some folks have a glass half empty

I chose to have a glass completely full

because my water was made crystal clear

by the Blood of Jesus

and the crud of life is filtered by Him

Everyday is a new day and everyday I, just like you, have to get over my hang-ups and dump the crud out and it ain't easy but I look at Preston and am encouraged because he can overlook so many problems that I cannot.  If only I had one more chromosome?

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• an extra chromosome could come in handy a lot of times
• life is not easy but an adventure which we can choose to make the best of or we can just keep filling our glasses with crud
• as long as my lens to life is focused through Jesus' eyes tough times are a little easier and folks are a little nicer and stress is a little less
• If you find no other answer then come work at Wings (www.wingsok.org) and get to know all the folks with disabilities and you will be changed in a positive way

Well, thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Life's journey -- what is it like to raise a child like Preston

It seems that when you raise a child like Preston with Down Syndrome everything (a little too strong of a comment) gets amplified whether good or bad.  You know how it is when you spoil a child or just do not stick to your guns when you punish them and then later you regret it because you have become an in-abler.  Another aspect is when there is a person with special needs you and almost all people do not expect the same behavior as they would from a normal child.  Don't be fooled.  Boy I would like to know what a normal child is!  They are all different and NORMAL is just some term an idiot thought up that did not have children.  Anyway, back to the story.  Let me give you a few examples, some funny and some not so funny, depending on how you view things and who is watching.

Let's say your NORMAL child is at McDonald's and sees a very large girl at the counter who happens to be black and he or she says, "BIG, BLACK GIRL!!!".  Now that normal child just stepped across the lines of common sense and you feel like killing the child before they are old enough to get in real trouble.  The person behind the counter glares at you and there is an elephant in the room that just will not go away.  You probably slapped the kid prior to 1970 but now you just yell at them after you step outside and if you are a decent parent you told them to apologize immediately and they knew there was not and end to the discussion.  If you did not have that feeling of anger and embarrassment then you are probably a person who should not have children in the first place.  OH ya, Preston said those words to the girl and she just smiled while I said, "sorry" and then got my order and sat down ASAP.  The girl and Preston became friends and he hugged her and she loved him.  You tell me how to punish a child that says something like that which was all facts and then the receiving person just loves them back.  I tell you all I knew to do was SUCK IT UP and go on with a little bit more humility in my soul.

Or how about when you are in the airport and he stops folks you have never seen in your life and he says, "have you met my parents?  Here is Shouna and Gary".  I cannot tell you how many times this occurred and each time I gain a little more humility.  But the reward for his behavior is never ending either.  Like the time AJ had Preston, Chase and I up to his suite at OSU for a football game and AJ said, "Preston can come back and be a host for me anytime".  That was a reward for me as a parent and really made me proud of his ability to meet and greet everybody including those in the hallways.  For Preston, if there were 50,000 folks at the game it was an opportunity for him to meet all 50,000.  He loves people.

At church everyone seems to know who he is long before they know who we are.  He always wares a hat and typically a black felt hat.  Now thanks to Rocky Arrington (yes, from Shidler) Preston has about 4 or 6 new hats of different colors and material.  When we do meet people and they ask if we have children they already know him and did not know his parents.  We do have two other children but Preston is famous.  In fact I have said many times that if I ever run for office I am going to change my name to Preston's Dad.

Now just so you won't think all is so good let me tell you the Holy Shit story.  We were at a funeral of a close friend who was always late to everything and at the funeral she/the body arrived late in honor of her reputation.  As you can imagine people told stories how she was always late.  She worked closely with special Olympics and Preston's swim team.  During the funeral many folks told funny stories about her but like all funny stories at funerals people laugh then get real quiet.  It was during that quiet time with about 800 folks in attendance Preston yells out "Holy Shit".  We tried to strangle him (not really) but we did cover his mouth immediately and speak sternly into his ear only to wait a few more minutes before another pause in laughter and he yelled, "Holy Shit" again. 

So what does all this teach a person or should we say, "what do you learn in the Osage?".

• humility can be taught at any age and to parents
• Love overcomes most everything, even at McDonald's
• Blessings come from a child with an extra chromosome

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

• 
  

Let's do something even if it is wrong!

I think "Let's do something even if it is wrong" was one of my Dad's favorite sayings.  He especially used it when he saw me sitting too long as defined by his patience.  Or I should say, his lack of patience.  Luckily Dad never prayed for patience and I am positive this is true because he never had any for himself or anyone else.  He never understood why something was being done if there was time for TV or as he called it "horsing around" which means doing nothing profitable in his eyes. 

I am glad he was that way as it taught me the value and enjoyment in getting things done.  In fact I cannot see how anyone can have a good self image when things just never get done.  Dad was one of those old timers who believed that any weed around the barns tool sheds or even the junk pile needed to be gotten rid of.  Maybe I should explain what a junk pile really was in those days.  It was NOT a place for trash but a place for parts and old steel and used wire, particularly barbed wire.  These were things that were useful when you lived 45 to 55 miles from a farm store where you could get parts plus it was cheaper and saved time when you could go to the junk yard and get a part.  In those days you really could fix things with a little wire and hard work.  back to doing something even if it is wrong. 

Dad has a wonderful disposition in that he could say something and laugh or smile like a possum eating s___.  That is another of Dad's favorite sayings.  Anyway, he was an ornery person and just getting me or someone off their butt and doing something productive was fun for him.  He could invent work.  If there was nothing else to do we would sweep dirt in the barns with dirt floors just so they would look neat.  We had a mile long drive way and we would weed-eat both sides of the road up to Eddie's house (remember Eddy Harris, my cousin).  Now do not get confused on this by assuming we used a gas powered weed-eater.  OH NO, we used what was called an idiot stick which had a one foot long blade that was horizontal to the ground with sharp side on the front and back so that when you swung it forward you were cutting weeds and when you were swinging backwards you were cutting weeds.  I should also correct your thinking in that it was not just weeds but anything that grew including grass that did not look NEAT. 

What did I learn in the Osage?

• Neatness was a good virtue
• Hard work was good for the soul
• Doing something was good for my self image
• Spending time with Dad was more valuable than whatever we were doing

Those are sweet and sweat days, get it, but I sure loved being with my Dad and doing something EVEN IF IT WAS WRONG. 

Thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com

Football and just how great it was?

I loved football at dear old Shidler High.  Of course you have heard me talk about how great the coaches were in helping me becoming a better person.  But there were moments which are truly integral to the development of myself and others in who we are today.

Football allowed me to learn about myself physically, mentally and emotionally as well as a team player.  I learned that any running back had to have great linemen else they got squashed like a bug on your windshield.  It did not matter how fast or quick you are if you did not have good people blocking and opening a hole for the running back.  Frank Ball was probably the best lineman we had in that he was big and quick and liked to hit people.  I am confident he was the strongest person on the team but he saw himself as a person who made things happen even when it was not his name that got announced over the microphone.  You see offensive linemen don't get recognized for knocking the defensive person on their rear end but the running back and quarter back get credited for throwing a pass or running for more yards.  That is character in my opinion, Frank Ball.  Now I will have to say that Frank knocked some of those folks backwards just because he was so ugly he scared them, just kidding. 

I was never the best speaker or motivator but I was easily motivated to do my part and that allowed me to give everything I could muster to win.  Every game I would get what they call butterflies.  That is when your stomach is tied up in knots because you are so very anxious to get going.  When it came time to run out on the field and bust through those banners the girls made each week I just could not help but be pumped up.  Then all the cars parked around the field would start honking their horns and the band would selflessly play for the crowds and us.  The stands would explode with applause and shouting and sometimes you could hear your name shouted out.  And those cheer leaders amazed me as they worked hard every day and during the games just to make the atmosphere better and to make the players want to do their best.  How could you not be proud of the fans and other students who did so much just to make the game more fun and more exciting. 

Football made me realize I could do more with my body than I thought possible.  Running laps around the field and sprints until there was no oxygen left in the air seemed impossible but we all endured through it.  What most of us did not know at the time was the coaches were doing this for us so we could be better.  At the time I thought they had lost their minds.  I would add one thing that was good for me and that was almost everyone on the team was faster than me except for about 1 to 2 weeks a year.  At the first of every season we would have summer practice in the hot hot Oklahoma sun but I hauled hay every summer with Don and Kenny Kelsey so when practice started I was already use to the heat and in good shape.  It was the only time I ever outran AJ and Dave Jacques, Steve Chrisco, Rick Hill, Jon Tanny Olsen, Hugh Allen Jones and Jimmy Heath and how about Pat Nelson and Johnny Payne and all of the others.  That week or two were my favorite each year because I hated being slow.  Character, I had to learn it even though I hated the lessons.

Well we never won all of our games and for the most part won about half of our games.  One year we lost a game 2 - 0 and it was not a soccer game.  We lost 7 to 6 and just about every game was no more than 14 point for either team.  To say the least we were excellent on defense and that might have something to do with Coach Cotham who was one of my favorite coaches. 

Today, what did football do for me?  My knee is killing me!!!

So what do you learn in the OSAGE?

• The best in football and the best in business are those who have the best people like Frank
• It is a lot more fun going on a journey with other people than going alone, Thanks to my Valentine, Shouna, I have 41 years together as a team plus a few children added to the team along the way.  Kind of like having Icing on the CAke
• Don't think too highly of your self because there is always someone coming along getting better just to be faster than you. 
• Stay the course and build a good solid team

Thanks for your time and the memories,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Maybe we should call it an Osage hoe and not a dutch hoe?

I had a good laugh at Julian Codding's remarks about a hoe and what it taught him and his cousins, Harold and CH.  Basically I identified with his analysis.  If you did not see it, go to Facebook and look it up.  Here is what I learned from a hoe not to be confused with a person but it is an instrument used in the garden.

In fact I should tell you about my wife's experience with a hoe.  We still garden a lot and we use a device we call a Dutch Hoe.  Basically it looks like a stirrup from a saddle on the end of a stick but made with metal and sharp on both sides.  We had about worn out our Dutch Hoe and Shouna decided to look on the Internet to find who carried this tool.  Yes sirree, she typed in Dutch Hoe and boy was she surprised.  We had to do some computer cleanup after that one.  I assume you have been on the Internet enough to know you never, never, ever type in Dutch Hoe and hit enter.

Like Julian if we ever seemed un-busy or not doing something Mom thought was productive she would bring out the hoe and send us to the garden.  I swore for years I would never come back to farming or gardening or even come back to Grainola for fear I would have to work in that garden with the hoe.  Actually there were two other things I hated worse:  chopping ice during the winter and pulling calves.  I always told mom and dad that I would not come back home until they got the old road paved so it would not be gravel.  I lied.

In fact I fondly remember the fresh vegetables and the rhubarb and potatoes in the spring with green beans and bacon cooked together.  Gosh, that was good eaten!  I also knew that it took work to get those veggies to grow and produce and of course it took a hoe plus some back labor.  Still to this day it amazes me how you plant beans and they grow in a straight row but weeds come up everywhere and you don't plant them.  I also longed to own a farm and something to grow after leaving the Osage.

In about 1994 I bought a farm in west Edmond, OK and started growing pumpkins(40 acres) and tomatoes (2 to 3 acres) and okra (4 acres of okra - it was a great idea but a little much), strawberries (2 aces), peppers (1 acre), blackberries (1/2 acre) and then I planted 4000 trees and had all kinds of animals and YES we had a gravel road that I built.  After about 7 years of that we developed our farm into a housing addition as Edmond was growing all around us.  We named the addition Clifford Farms after Dad and we named one of the streets Opal Lane after Mom and remember Mom's maiden name was Lane.  Finally after about 12 years we sold the small acreage we had left and built a house in the middle of a 2.25 acre garden.  There is no gravel road and no vegetables but hundreds and hundreds of flowers and plants and trees and yes we have multiple hoes including two Dutch hoes.

A little piece of trivia.  I named my investment business Lane Financial Strategies and my insurance company Lane Financial and Insurance Strategies all named after the Lane side of my family.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Be careful on what you call a hoe
• Never say never because God will bring you right back to where you started
• Learn to love your past regardless of the challenges you go through

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Filtered or unfiltered

How many times in my life have I wished I was a little more filtered in the mouth?  Have you ever wondered, "why did I say that!"?  I wear a size 13 shoe and many times it has fit into my mouth and I have swallowed it.  I wish I could recover those words.

Sticks and Stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you

The biggest lie I have ever heard. 

I have recovered many a time from broken bones, like the time I had the motorcycle wreck and had multiple surgeries.  That sucks.  Or the time I was playing basketball in the old gym at grand old Shidler High School.  Actually it was the only gym at the time but I was hustling for a ball thrown my way and caught that cement wall rather than the ball.  CRACK.  Again I recovered.  Or the time I took a bad fall from a small jump on the ski slopes and tore up my collarbone.  Made it except for a little ware and tare on the body over the years.

Words are the most powerful force in the world.  Greater than water and hydraulics, for you farm boys and engineers who understand the power of both.  Words can be the most uplifting or the biggest downer.  I remember Helen Head (100 years old and one of the greatest teachers ever) who simply complimented me on how I was dressed and it made my day.  Then there was Aunt Gladys (Mrs. Snyder of Shidler High fame) who kept telling me when I was in grade school how good I was at math as she gave me high school problems and then graded them to show I could do high school work in grade school.  I was never the smartest contrary to what Julian Codding says about me.  Now there is SMART with a capital S or J.  Julian was and is off the charts when it comes to smart.  How about Coach Gilstrap who told me as a kid he wanted me to play football for him long before I was old enough.  Words can make or brake a person. 

Now here is where we are going to get in some controversy.  I absolutely do not believe that talking about everything that bothers you or hurts you helps.  How can constantly bringing up the bad help?   For example, if I told you to not think about cold sliced tomatoes with fried bacon and mayonnaise on a hot summer or spring day, you could not do it and in fact you would want one for the rest of the day.  So my point is, if you tell everyone about how hurt you were by someone's words or actions I believe it does not help most of the time.  In fact it puts a damper on your/my day and makes you/me think about it more. 

I know that I have hurt people over the years and for the most part un-intentionally and I sincerely hope that if you are one of those you would forgive me.  There is a very strong chance I do not even know what you think you heard and hopefully you heard it from me not a third person.  I or someone you know who hurt you may not have any idea you offended or hurt them.  Also NEVER take someone else's interpretation of what I say as fact unless you talk to me and get my cut on what I said.  That goes for words from anyone told third person. 

I think for some being a friend is easy but I am not so sure.  I do believe diarrhea of the mouth is a big problem and a little or a lot of filtering is appropriate.  I need to get my filter working a little bit better.  Or?  Could we say, "the filter was crappy?".  Get over it if that word bothers you.

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Friends are loyal and forgiving
• The mouth is the most powerful instrument in the world, good and bad
• Be careful, sometimes few words are more

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What makes your hair stick up?

I love the picture of Preston with the wig as it relates to this story.  In fact I was talking to Jason Taylor of OC Basketball fame and he said, "he learned a lot from Preston".  Well, me too.

This is kind of a backwards story and a little pitchy but it does make the hair stand up on my head.  By the way, that is not Preston's real hair.  Anyway, the other day I was talking to a young man who is about 28 years old, married with two children living in a rented house ($600 Per month plus utilities) and his wife does not work.  He drives a four wheel pickup that if not modified would be worth about $4000 but he spent about $10,000 fixing it up.  Do you know what I mean?  It was jacked up with expensive tires, new special bumpers and lots more options.  Now it is not even sellable to most.  He makes good money at about $70,000 per year including overtime, before he quit.  Did I mention he gets about 4 miles per gallon on gasoline and drives about 100 miles per day round trip to work meaning it costs about $37.50 per day in gas much less if it were a few months ago and gas was close to $4 per gallon.  Not including wear and tare he spends $9375 per year on gasoline alone.  I should also tell you he spent four years in the military and was deployed for 2 years and is in excellent physical shape.  Now for what drives me crazy.

I asked him what would happen to his wife and kids if he had a wreck in the truck and got killed.  I also asked how would she buy groceries the next day much less pay the rent.  His response was, "they have about $200 in their checking and no reserve account".  My hair stood up as he also said she would just have to move back home with her parents.  Where is the logic in this?!!!@#$!!!???$#@%

I bet you cannot guess why my hair was standing straight up like Preston's.  Cathy at my office can get him a $250,000 policy for about $12 per month.  He said he could not afford it.  If you have not figured your options call Cathy at 405-463-7952.

Now for a little lighter information:  Does anyone remember when Debbie Ware of Shidler put her hands on the electrostatic generator during assembly and her hair stood straight up?  It might have been Virginia Chrisco but I cannot remember any more.  That was funny.  I bet I made my parents hair stand up many a time.  Like when I cut Cathy Eaton's hair with sheep sheers.  Boy was I in trouble.

Now let me give you one on Preston.  One time we were short on spoons in the house and we knew we had a double set meaning we had about 24 spoons, Oneida as I recall, expensive.  In fact we were totally out.  Why?  Well, Preston likes things clean and tidy.  We trained him to put things where they belong.  Chase and Wynter, our regular children, could not learn this while they lived at home.  Preston who has special needs learned it well.  So well, that after he ate his yogurt each day he put the empty container in the trash with Mom's spoons until they were all gone.  Shouna's hair stood up on her head that time.

So what do you learn in the Osage or from your children?

• be careful what you teach your children, they may follow your instructions
• a mess is not necessarily the worst thing to happen, remember those Oneida spoons
• sometimes hair standing on ones head is better than no hair at all

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

or try this out and you can get help from Cathy or me

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1531375183844493&id=1521266951521983&comment_id=1543928015922543&ref=notif&notif_t=share_comment

Home on the Range: THe Sky is FAlling

Home on the Range: THe Sky is FAlling

THe Sky is FAlling

I feel like Chicken Little.  The stock market is down, a friend lost a child from a long battle with failing liver and kidney transplant, my father-n-law is in the hospital and my daughter has some health issues and then there is some additional junk going on.  Now honestly, "stuff happens", I almost said something more descriptive but held back.  Sure I am concerned and tired from a little sleep deprivation and sure I have prayed a lot and continue to rely on my Lord Jesus Christ to bring a little calm to this storm. 

Through all of this I find calm but not because that is my style but because I am better off depending on Him than my personality quirks, some would say quacks or cracks.  Here is what I learned in the Osage.

• after the storm the air smells better
• the air is cleaner
• the sky is bluer

So you may ask, "how do I do it?".  Well when I was growing up I watched my Mom and Dad and how they reacted to storms.  Storms of low commodity prices were killers when you raise cattle, corn, wheat and maize.  But you know what they did?  They kept putting one foot in front of the other and planted another crop held a few more heifers back for breeding stock and kept the faith that things will always be better even during the storm if you just look for the opportunity.  They planted a bigger garden and raised more chickens.

Now for you idiots (that is country talk for folks who don't know country speek and I apologize for it kind of?) a heifer is a young female which becomes a cow when she has been bred to have a calf.  I suppose I should explain BRED.  That is sex for cattle.  It really is fun making fun of folks that don't get my humor but guess what, folks have been making fun of me for years because of what I don't know about city life and city talk.  Plus my humor is not as good as I enjoy it and it is usually at someone else's expense.  We should all laugh about our differences and embrace them, not howl about them and divide us.  Got a little political there, sorry.

Well in summary, I am just grateful for the storms I get and what God is teaching me.

So what do you learn in the Osage:

• obviously, it feels really good when the storm has passed
• there is beauty found in the storm if you look for it
• trust in Him not in myself

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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What I have learned from a child with special needs

I have been challenged by a friend to share some of the life lessons I have experienced with a special focus on children and adults with special needs.  In case you do not know it our third child, Preston, was born with down syndrome.  So at least for a few stories I am going to walk you though what I have learned.

September 3rd, 1987 Preston was born around 6 P.M. and in a hospital in the Dallas area.  The doctor told us we had a healthy baby boy.  The doctor was older and had a rough bedside manner but still seemed to be a good doctor.  Of course we shared the good news with lots of folks on our call list.  There was no texting and cell phones weighed about 5 pounds and were pretty expensive so no one had a cell phone.  We did it the old fashioned way, we called on a land line.  Think about it, pause, a huge number of young people born after 1980 have no idea what "dial a phone number" really means.  And how about "answer the phone, it is ringing off the wall".  They don't even know what an 8 track is.  OK, back to the story. 

The excitement was slowing down and we were settling in for the night when around 10:30 I walked by the nursery to see my new boy and I saw the nurse crying.  I just assumed one of the new babies was having trouble and I never considered it was Preston.  At about 11 the nurse retrieved me from being with Shouna and took me to a small room where the doctor was waiting.  He began to tell me about down syndrome and why he suspected Preston had the extra chromosome.  He suggested we should consider putting Preston in an institution.  He asked me if I wanted him to talk to my wife.  There was absolutely no way I was going to have him deliver such a message after he had done such a horrible job with me.

As I shared the news with Shouna around 11:30 or 12 we both cried a little and neither of us would consider giving our son to be taken care of by the state.  I am blessed that my wife has a positive attitude and relies on her assurance that God is in charge.  We prayed together and talked for a long time.  I have no idea when we rested but the next morning we started the task of calling our family and friends and telling them the news.  This is probably one of the situations I learned the most from.

As we called most were politely apologetic if for no other reason than they just did not know what to say.  One person expressed that "if we prayed hard enough Preston would not have DS".  I wish I could say I had a great Biblical or Christian response but I just said to Shouna, "that is the stupidest remark I have heard".  One of the common remarks was "God gives special children to special parents".  Again I declared "BS".  Don't get the wrong idea here, we felt confident we were blessed.  We just did not know the answers to a lot of questions.   What did we / I learn?

• saying something, even if it was stupid or clumsy, was better than nothing from our friends
• a baby is a blessing even if "normal", whatever that is, is not to be found
• start by looking for what good is to come rather than dwelling on the negative

One last thing to end this story.  One of the biggest blessings I have ever received and one of the biggest learning opportunities happened that day by around noon.  During my calls I called Larry Lippel in Oklahoma City who was a dear friend and co-worker and asked him to share the news with friends at the office, FDMC/First Data Management which also was known as SCS which was the ATM network in Oklahoma.  He did not say much but as I was walking down the hall in the hospital about 2.5 hours after talking to Larry he stepped off the elevator and walked toward me.  I think he was speeding, of course.  Even today I choke up thinking about that act of kindness.  Larry was about 6 ft. 6 in. tall and he walked up to me and put his arms around me and squeezed like crazy.  I felt like a pimple ready to pop.  It was a long hug and we both cried.  His first words were he wanted to see our baby and see Shouna.  We went straight to see the babies and I proudly pointed out my new son.  We walked down to see Shouna and he hugged her.  Larry was a strong believer in Jesus but had dropped out of church and that day he promised he was going to get back to his relationship with Christ.  Honestly I don't remember another thing he said or did.  He did not stay long and then drove back to OKC. 

• I learned that being there is more important than anything
• sacrificial giving of time and a big hug says more than 10,000 words
• that day was the beginning of a testimony from Preston about a life with Christ, Preston had already made a positive impact in Larry's life and ours

I am shutting down for the night but hopefully as I write these stories they can be of benefit to others and record my life for you and my family.

So, what do you learn in the Osage?

• everyone can make a positive impact on someone's life, be an ADDER not a SUBTRACTOR
• life is full of surprises, make the best of them
• when life throws you a curve, adjust and get a hit and most of all keep your eye on the ball

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Mike Moser

I know many of you remember the Moser family of which Nancy plus an older sister and then Mike were their 3 children.  I am asking for your help in a few things for some very good reasons.

I want to collect some stories of Mike for his son Nathan.  Mike went to college at Weatherford for one or two years before going to ophthalmology school in Houston at the same time I was there.  I should make a correction just in case you made a mistake.  I went to Weatherford not Houston as I was not so smart like Mike.  After school he married and located to Louisiana where he had a family and I believe it was one or two children.  Mike was later killed in an auto accident when his son was 9 years old.  Nathan is now interested in finding more about his dad so I am going to share a few stories and I want you to fill in some holes.

At Southwestern State College (later to become Southwestern Oklahoma State University SWOSU)Mike set the curve in every class I was in and I think he always thought it was easy.  He always had a dry sense of humor and few words to say but he would laugh a lot when he got tickled.  I had the pleasure of getting to know Mike while there and visited his home.  His dad and mom moved to Weatherford when he was starting his junior year in high school.  Mike's dad made or ground glass lens for eye doctors in those days after work as a second income.  I think it was Phillips Petroleum during the day.  It was really cool to watch.  He had a special room that was very small where he made the lenses. 

The other thing I remember about Mike was he was very close to Harold Codding and I think Mike Benton.  Mike grew up in the Webb City Methodist Church and was an avid baseball player.  As I recall he was a side arm pitcher that no one could hit off very easily.  He was also a talented basketball player with great shooting and dribbling ability. 

Most of all I remember Mike as a quiet leader who was humble but incredibly smart.  Julian Codding shared a story with me:

Mike was such a smart guy.  He & Harold were always best pals.  I sat next to mike in several classes.  He laughed a lot.  He was funny & he liked fun.  Great guy!  Great guy!!!  He was there when our math teacher, your Aunt Gladys walked up to me reading a library book in class (as I did everywhere ) stuck her hand out like a salute (with that ram rod posture she had form being a WAC drill Sargent and took the book, staring into my eyes and said "Mr. Codding! That will never happen again!"  She was right, it never happened again. Mike was almost bent over in his chair biting his tongue to keep from laughing.  He was brilliant at every subject!

If you can help me it would be a tribute to Mike and most of all helpful to Nathan a United States Marine whom we should be thankful for because he is serving you and me and our families.

Thanks for listening.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• to be a leader does not mean you have to yell or demand
• a quite and humble spirit have long lasting meaning
• be thankful for those who served else we might be speaking German or Japanese today.

Thanks again,

gary@thepioneerman.com

It has been too long

I apologize that it has been so long since I wrote to my friends and family.  I truly enjoy knowing that so many of you read this stuff, even Mrs. Helen Head who I deeply admire.  I hope this finds her well.  Recently Alidane McConaghy passed and I found myself considering that life is just a fleeting moment.  Mom and Dad so loved Carl and Alidane.  We will miss them.

So here we go:

I sit here listening to those old time hymns we use to sing in the Grainola Methodist Church and they remind me of a solid family life in the Osage.  Just think back to when you use to sit in church even when you did not want to sit there.  STOP and THINK.  Why was it such a great feeling thinking back about those days?  I believe it is because I heard something then that never left me, "Oh what a friend we have in Jesus".  I admit I went a lot of directions but there was always that PIVOT POINT in my life that I never got so far away from that I could not see it.  That PIVOT POINT was the old cross or was it the old bell that hung outside or was it just the idea that Jesus loved me even when I was out there taring things up with Eddie Harris and Jon Tanny Olsen and Hugh Allen Jones and Jimmy Heath or was it later when I became friends with AJ and Dave Jacques or was it Johnny Payne, David Howell and the list goes on and on.  If you would like your names added to this send me an email with a short story of what we did.  Anyway, life was really good in the Osage and Grainola and especially good old Shidler. 

Of course we all get nostalgic, but what really mattered is the question.  I think it was the values that our parents had about God and country and the time we gave to each other in our families and friends.  If I was ever prejudice against anyone I don't know who it was or is today.  It might be against someone who offended me intentionally or it might be a democrat (just kidding) but it was not a person of color or even sexual orientation (hope it was ok to say that).  I don't agree with everyone or probably anyone 100% but I am not the judge.  I learned that in the Osage from people like my Mom, Vea Harris, Gladys Snyder and Mrs. Shumate and others.  One of the things I find today which actually is a reflection of myself up until I was about 30 years old is that I could quote the Bible and what it said without even reading it.  Even after I accepted Christ's free gift I could quote the Bible without reading it.  I guess that is like writing a book report for Mrs. Head without actually reading the entire book.  I would never have done that!  Somewhere about 22 years old I did start reading and studying the Bible just to find out it said very little of the things I thought I knew.  Do you know anyone like me?  or that was like me back then?

Well I have to tell you that today I find great joy in knowing more of what it says and I absolutely do not recall everything I have read accurately but the one thing I do know is, "God loves everyone" and it is up to me to decide to accept what He says in His book as truth.  By the way we can argue about Romans and what it says about ELECTION but there is no doubt in my mind God loves everyone and gave us a choice.  I chose to accept His gift.

Well that was fun and I am glad I am back.

So what did I learn in the Osage?

• Don't quote something you never read
• Don't judge a book by its cover, people too
• If you reject something or someone, get to know them first

I just love all of you for reading my STUFF,

gary@thepioneerman.com

p.s. and thanks to Sue as she always lets me know when I mess up in my spelling and grammaticism and occasionally my facts.