Life's journey -- what is it like to raise a child like Preston

It seems that when you raise a child like Preston with Down Syndrome everything (a little too strong of a comment) gets amplified whether good or bad.  You know how it is when you spoil a child or just do not stick to your guns when you punish them and then later you regret it because you have become an in-abler.  Another aspect is when there is a person with special needs you and almost all people do not expect the same behavior as they would from a normal child.  Don't be fooled.  Boy I would like to know what a normal child is!  They are all different and NORMAL is just some term an idiot thought up that did not have children.  Anyway, back to the story.  Let me give you a few examples, some funny and some not so funny, depending on how you view things and who is watching.

Let's say your NORMAL child is at McDonald's and sees a very large girl at the counter who happens to be black and he or she says, "BIG, BLACK GIRL!!!".  Now that normal child just stepped across the lines of common sense and you feel like killing the child before they are old enough to get in real trouble.  The person behind the counter glares at you and there is an elephant in the room that just will not go away.  You probably slapped the kid prior to 1970 but now you just yell at them after you step outside and if you are a decent parent you told them to apologize immediately and they knew there was not and end to the discussion.  If you did not have that feeling of anger and embarrassment then you are probably a person who should not have children in the first place.  OH ya, Preston said those words to the girl and she just smiled while I said, "sorry" and then got my order and sat down ASAP.  The girl and Preston became friends and he hugged her and she loved him.  You tell me how to punish a child that says something like that which was all facts and then the receiving person just loves them back.  I tell you all I knew to do was SUCK IT UP and go on with a little bit more humility in my soul.

Or how about when you are in the airport and he stops folks you have never seen in your life and he says, "have you met my parents?  Here is Shouna and Gary".  I cannot tell you how many times this occurred and each time I gain a little more humility.  But the reward for his behavior is never ending either.  Like the time AJ had Preston, Chase and I up to his suite at OSU for a football game and AJ said, "Preston can come back and be a host for me anytime".  That was a reward for me as a parent and really made me proud of his ability to meet and greet everybody including those in the hallways.  For Preston, if there were 50,000 folks at the game it was an opportunity for him to meet all 50,000.  He loves people.

At church everyone seems to know who he is long before they know who we are.  He always wares a hat and typically a black felt hat.  Now thanks to Rocky Arrington (yes, from Shidler) Preston has about 4 or 6 new hats of different colors and material.  When we do meet people and they ask if we have children they already know him and did not know his parents.  We do have two other children but Preston is famous.  In fact I have said many times that if I ever run for office I am going to change my name to Preston's Dad.

Now just so you won't think all is so good let me tell you the Holy Shit story.  We were at a funeral of a close friend who was always late to everything and at the funeral she/the body arrived late in honor of her reputation.  As you can imagine people told stories how she was always late.  She worked closely with special Olympics and Preston's swim team.  During the funeral many folks told funny stories about her but like all funny stories at funerals people laugh then get real quiet.  It was during that quiet time with about 800 folks in attendance Preston yells out "Holy Shit".  We tried to strangle him (not really) but we did cover his mouth immediately and speak sternly into his ear only to wait a few more minutes before another pause in laughter and he yelled, "Holy Shit" again. 

So what does all this teach a person or should we say, "what do you learn in the Osage?".

• humility can be taught at any age and to parents
• Love overcomes most everything, even at McDonald's
• Blessings come from a child with an extra chromosome

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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Let's do something even if it is wrong!

I think "Let's do something even if it is wrong" was one of my Dad's favorite sayings.  He especially used it when he saw me sitting too long as defined by his patience.  Or I should say, his lack of patience.  Luckily Dad never prayed for patience and I am positive this is true because he never had any for himself or anyone else.  He never understood why something was being done if there was time for TV or as he called it "horsing around" which means doing nothing profitable in his eyes. 

I am glad he was that way as it taught me the value and enjoyment in getting things done.  In fact I cannot see how anyone can have a good self image when things just never get done.  Dad was one of those old timers who believed that any weed around the barns tool sheds or even the junk pile needed to be gotten rid of.  Maybe I should explain what a junk pile really was in those days.  It was NOT a place for trash but a place for parts and old steel and used wire, particularly barbed wire.  These were things that were useful when you lived 45 to 55 miles from a farm store where you could get parts plus it was cheaper and saved time when you could go to the junk yard and get a part.  In those days you really could fix things with a little wire and hard work.  back to doing something even if it is wrong. 

Dad has a wonderful disposition in that he could say something and laugh or smile like a possum eating s___.  That is another of Dad's favorite sayings.  Anyway, he was an ornery person and just getting me or someone off their butt and doing something productive was fun for him.  He could invent work.  If there was nothing else to do we would sweep dirt in the barns with dirt floors just so they would look neat.  We had a mile long drive way and we would weed-eat both sides of the road up to Eddie's house (remember Eddy Harris, my cousin).  Now do not get confused on this by assuming we used a gas powered weed-eater.  OH NO, we used what was called an idiot stick which had a one foot long blade that was horizontal to the ground with sharp side on the front and back so that when you swung it forward you were cutting weeds and when you were swinging backwards you were cutting weeds.  I should also correct your thinking in that it was not just weeds but anything that grew including grass that did not look NEAT. 

What did I learn in the Osage?

• Neatness was a good virtue
• Hard work was good for the soul
• Doing something was good for my self image
• Spending time with Dad was more valuable than whatever we were doing

Those are sweet and sweat days, get it, but I sure loved being with my Dad and doing something EVEN IF IT WAS WRONG. 

Thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com

Football and just how great it was?

I loved football at dear old Shidler High.  Of course you have heard me talk about how great the coaches were in helping me becoming a better person.  But there were moments which are truly integral to the development of myself and others in who we are today.

Football allowed me to learn about myself physically, mentally and emotionally as well as a team player.  I learned that any running back had to have great linemen else they got squashed like a bug on your windshield.  It did not matter how fast or quick you are if you did not have good people blocking and opening a hole for the running back.  Frank Ball was probably the best lineman we had in that he was big and quick and liked to hit people.  I am confident he was the strongest person on the team but he saw himself as a person who made things happen even when it was not his name that got announced over the microphone.  You see offensive linemen don't get recognized for knocking the defensive person on their rear end but the running back and quarter back get credited for throwing a pass or running for more yards.  That is character in my opinion, Frank Ball.  Now I will have to say that Frank knocked some of those folks backwards just because he was so ugly he scared them, just kidding. 

I was never the best speaker or motivator but I was easily motivated to do my part and that allowed me to give everything I could muster to win.  Every game I would get what they call butterflies.  That is when your stomach is tied up in knots because you are so very anxious to get going.  When it came time to run out on the field and bust through those banners the girls made each week I just could not help but be pumped up.  Then all the cars parked around the field would start honking their horns and the band would selflessly play for the crowds and us.  The stands would explode with applause and shouting and sometimes you could hear your name shouted out.  And those cheer leaders amazed me as they worked hard every day and during the games just to make the atmosphere better and to make the players want to do their best.  How could you not be proud of the fans and other students who did so much just to make the game more fun and more exciting. 

Football made me realize I could do more with my body than I thought possible.  Running laps around the field and sprints until there was no oxygen left in the air seemed impossible but we all endured through it.  What most of us did not know at the time was the coaches were doing this for us so we could be better.  At the time I thought they had lost their minds.  I would add one thing that was good for me and that was almost everyone on the team was faster than me except for about 1 to 2 weeks a year.  At the first of every season we would have summer practice in the hot hot Oklahoma sun but I hauled hay every summer with Don and Kenny Kelsey so when practice started I was already use to the heat and in good shape.  It was the only time I ever outran AJ and Dave Jacques, Steve Chrisco, Rick Hill, Jon Tanny Olsen, Hugh Allen Jones and Jimmy Heath and how about Pat Nelson and Johnny Payne and all of the others.  That week or two were my favorite each year because I hated being slow.  Character, I had to learn it even though I hated the lessons.

Well we never won all of our games and for the most part won about half of our games.  One year we lost a game 2 - 0 and it was not a soccer game.  We lost 7 to 6 and just about every game was no more than 14 point for either team.  To say the least we were excellent on defense and that might have something to do with Coach Cotham who was one of my favorite coaches. 

Today, what did football do for me?  My knee is killing me!!!

So what do you learn in the OSAGE?

• The best in football and the best in business are those who have the best people like Frank
• It is a lot more fun going on a journey with other people than going alone, Thanks to my Valentine, Shouna, I have 41 years together as a team plus a few children added to the team along the way.  Kind of like having Icing on the CAke
• Don't think too highly of your self because there is always someone coming along getting better just to be faster than you. 
• Stay the course and build a good solid team

Thanks for your time and the memories,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Maybe we should call it an Osage hoe and not a dutch hoe?

I had a good laugh at Julian Codding's remarks about a hoe and what it taught him and his cousins, Harold and CH.  Basically I identified with his analysis.  If you did not see it, go to Facebook and look it up.  Here is what I learned from a hoe not to be confused with a person but it is an instrument used in the garden.

In fact I should tell you about my wife's experience with a hoe.  We still garden a lot and we use a device we call a Dutch Hoe.  Basically it looks like a stirrup from a saddle on the end of a stick but made with metal and sharp on both sides.  We had about worn out our Dutch Hoe and Shouna decided to look on the Internet to find who carried this tool.  Yes sirree, she typed in Dutch Hoe and boy was she surprised.  We had to do some computer cleanup after that one.  I assume you have been on the Internet enough to know you never, never, ever type in Dutch Hoe and hit enter.

Like Julian if we ever seemed un-busy or not doing something Mom thought was productive she would bring out the hoe and send us to the garden.  I swore for years I would never come back to farming or gardening or even come back to Grainola for fear I would have to work in that garden with the hoe.  Actually there were two other things I hated worse:  chopping ice during the winter and pulling calves.  I always told mom and dad that I would not come back home until they got the old road paved so it would not be gravel.  I lied.

In fact I fondly remember the fresh vegetables and the rhubarb and potatoes in the spring with green beans and bacon cooked together.  Gosh, that was good eaten!  I also knew that it took work to get those veggies to grow and produce and of course it took a hoe plus some back labor.  Still to this day it amazes me how you plant beans and they grow in a straight row but weeds come up everywhere and you don't plant them.  I also longed to own a farm and something to grow after leaving the Osage.

In about 1994 I bought a farm in west Edmond, OK and started growing pumpkins(40 acres) and tomatoes (2 to 3 acres) and okra (4 acres of okra - it was a great idea but a little much), strawberries (2 aces), peppers (1 acre), blackberries (1/2 acre) and then I planted 4000 trees and had all kinds of animals and YES we had a gravel road that I built.  After about 7 years of that we developed our farm into a housing addition as Edmond was growing all around us.  We named the addition Clifford Farms after Dad and we named one of the streets Opal Lane after Mom and remember Mom's maiden name was Lane.  Finally after about 12 years we sold the small acreage we had left and built a house in the middle of a 2.25 acre garden.  There is no gravel road and no vegetables but hundreds and hundreds of flowers and plants and trees and yes we have multiple hoes including two Dutch hoes.

A little piece of trivia.  I named my investment business Lane Financial Strategies and my insurance company Lane Financial and Insurance Strategies all named after the Lane side of my family.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Be careful on what you call a hoe
• Never say never because God will bring you right back to where you started
• Learn to love your past regardless of the challenges you go through

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Filtered or unfiltered

How many times in my life have I wished I was a little more filtered in the mouth?  Have you ever wondered, "why did I say that!"?  I wear a size 13 shoe and many times it has fit into my mouth and I have swallowed it.  I wish I could recover those words.

Sticks and Stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you

The biggest lie I have ever heard. 

I have recovered many a time from broken bones, like the time I had the motorcycle wreck and had multiple surgeries.  That sucks.  Or the time I was playing basketball in the old gym at grand old Shidler High School.  Actually it was the only gym at the time but I was hustling for a ball thrown my way and caught that cement wall rather than the ball.  CRACK.  Again I recovered.  Or the time I took a bad fall from a small jump on the ski slopes and tore up my collarbone.  Made it except for a little ware and tare on the body over the years.

Words are the most powerful force in the world.  Greater than water and hydraulics, for you farm boys and engineers who understand the power of both.  Words can be the most uplifting or the biggest downer.  I remember Helen Head (100 years old and one of the greatest teachers ever) who simply complimented me on how I was dressed and it made my day.  Then there was Aunt Gladys (Mrs. Snyder of Shidler High fame) who kept telling me when I was in grade school how good I was at math as she gave me high school problems and then graded them to show I could do high school work in grade school.  I was never the smartest contrary to what Julian Codding says about me.  Now there is SMART with a capital S or J.  Julian was and is off the charts when it comes to smart.  How about Coach Gilstrap who told me as a kid he wanted me to play football for him long before I was old enough.  Words can make or brake a person. 

Now here is where we are going to get in some controversy.  I absolutely do not believe that talking about everything that bothers you or hurts you helps.  How can constantly bringing up the bad help?   For example, if I told you to not think about cold sliced tomatoes with fried bacon and mayonnaise on a hot summer or spring day, you could not do it and in fact you would want one for the rest of the day.  So my point is, if you tell everyone about how hurt you were by someone's words or actions I believe it does not help most of the time.  In fact it puts a damper on your/my day and makes you/me think about it more. 

I know that I have hurt people over the years and for the most part un-intentionally and I sincerely hope that if you are one of those you would forgive me.  There is a very strong chance I do not even know what you think you heard and hopefully you heard it from me not a third person.  I or someone you know who hurt you may not have any idea you offended or hurt them.  Also NEVER take someone else's interpretation of what I say as fact unless you talk to me and get my cut on what I said.  That goes for words from anyone told third person. 

I think for some being a friend is easy but I am not so sure.  I do believe diarrhea of the mouth is a big problem and a little or a lot of filtering is appropriate.  I need to get my filter working a little bit better.  Or?  Could we say, "the filter was crappy?".  Get over it if that word bothers you.

Well, what do you learn in the Osage?

• Friends are loyal and forgiving
• The mouth is the most powerful instrument in the world, good and bad
• Be careful, sometimes few words are more

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

What makes your hair stick up?

I love the picture of Preston with the wig as it relates to this story.  In fact I was talking to Jason Taylor of OC Basketball fame and he said, "he learned a lot from Preston".  Well, me too.

This is kind of a backwards story and a little pitchy but it does make the hair stand up on my head.  By the way, that is not Preston's real hair.  Anyway, the other day I was talking to a young man who is about 28 years old, married with two children living in a rented house ($600 Per month plus utilities) and his wife does not work.  He drives a four wheel pickup that if not modified would be worth about $4000 but he spent about $10,000 fixing it up.  Do you know what I mean?  It was jacked up with expensive tires, new special bumpers and lots more options.  Now it is not even sellable to most.  He makes good money at about $70,000 per year including overtime, before he quit.  Did I mention he gets about 4 miles per gallon on gasoline and drives about 100 miles per day round trip to work meaning it costs about $37.50 per day in gas much less if it were a few months ago and gas was close to $4 per gallon.  Not including wear and tare he spends $9375 per year on gasoline alone.  I should also tell you he spent four years in the military and was deployed for 2 years and is in excellent physical shape.  Now for what drives me crazy.

I asked him what would happen to his wife and kids if he had a wreck in the truck and got killed.  I also asked how would she buy groceries the next day much less pay the rent.  His response was, "they have about $200 in their checking and no reserve account".  My hair stood up as he also said she would just have to move back home with her parents.  Where is the logic in this?!!!@#$!!!???$#@%

I bet you cannot guess why my hair was standing straight up like Preston's.  Cathy at my office can get him a $250,000 policy for about $12 per month.  He said he could not afford it.  If you have not figured your options call Cathy at 405-463-7952.

Now for a little lighter information:  Does anyone remember when Debbie Ware of Shidler put her hands on the electrostatic generator during assembly and her hair stood straight up?  It might have been Virginia Chrisco but I cannot remember any more.  That was funny.  I bet I made my parents hair stand up many a time.  Like when I cut Cathy Eaton's hair with sheep sheers.  Boy was I in trouble.

Now let me give you one on Preston.  One time we were short on spoons in the house and we knew we had a double set meaning we had about 24 spoons, Oneida as I recall, expensive.  In fact we were totally out.  Why?  Well, Preston likes things clean and tidy.  We trained him to put things where they belong.  Chase and Wynter, our regular children, could not learn this while they lived at home.  Preston who has special needs learned it well.  So well, that after he ate his yogurt each day he put the empty container in the trash with Mom's spoons until they were all gone.  Shouna's hair stood up on her head that time.

So what do you learn in the Osage or from your children?

• be careful what you teach your children, they may follow your instructions
• a mess is not necessarily the worst thing to happen, remember those Oneida spoons
• sometimes hair standing on ones head is better than no hair at all

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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Home on the Range: THe Sky is FAlling

Home on the Range: THe Sky is FAlling

THe Sky is FAlling

I feel like Chicken Little.  The stock market is down, a friend lost a child from a long battle with failing liver and kidney transplant, my father-n-law is in the hospital and my daughter has some health issues and then there is some additional junk going on.  Now honestly, "stuff happens", I almost said something more descriptive but held back.  Sure I am concerned and tired from a little sleep deprivation and sure I have prayed a lot and continue to rely on my Lord Jesus Christ to bring a little calm to this storm. 

Through all of this I find calm but not because that is my style but because I am better off depending on Him than my personality quirks, some would say quacks or cracks.  Here is what I learned in the Osage.

• after the storm the air smells better
• the air is cleaner
• the sky is bluer

So you may ask, "how do I do it?".  Well when I was growing up I watched my Mom and Dad and how they reacted to storms.  Storms of low commodity prices were killers when you raise cattle, corn, wheat and maize.  But you know what they did?  They kept putting one foot in front of the other and planted another crop held a few more heifers back for breeding stock and kept the faith that things will always be better even during the storm if you just look for the opportunity.  They planted a bigger garden and raised more chickens.

Now for you idiots (that is country talk for folks who don't know country speek and I apologize for it kind of?) a heifer is a young female which becomes a cow when she has been bred to have a calf.  I suppose I should explain BRED.  That is sex for cattle.  It really is fun making fun of folks that don't get my humor but guess what, folks have been making fun of me for years because of what I don't know about city life and city talk.  Plus my humor is not as good as I enjoy it and it is usually at someone else's expense.  We should all laugh about our differences and embrace them, not howl about them and divide us.  Got a little political there, sorry.

Well in summary, I am just grateful for the storms I get and what God is teaching me.

So what do you learn in the Osage:

• obviously, it feels really good when the storm has passed
• there is beauty found in the storm if you look for it
• trust in Him not in myself

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

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What I have learned from a child with special needs

I have been challenged by a friend to share some of the life lessons I have experienced with a special focus on children and adults with special needs.  In case you do not know it our third child, Preston, was born with down syndrome.  So at least for a few stories I am going to walk you though what I have learned.

September 3rd, 1987 Preston was born around 6 P.M. and in a hospital in the Dallas area.  The doctor told us we had a healthy baby boy.  The doctor was older and had a rough bedside manner but still seemed to be a good doctor.  Of course we shared the good news with lots of folks on our call list.  There was no texting and cell phones weighed about 5 pounds and were pretty expensive so no one had a cell phone.  We did it the old fashioned way, we called on a land line.  Think about it, pause, a huge number of young people born after 1980 have no idea what "dial a phone number" really means.  And how about "answer the phone, it is ringing off the wall".  They don't even know what an 8 track is.  OK, back to the story. 

The excitement was slowing down and we were settling in for the night when around 10:30 I walked by the nursery to see my new boy and I saw the nurse crying.  I just assumed one of the new babies was having trouble and I never considered it was Preston.  At about 11 the nurse retrieved me from being with Shouna and took me to a small room where the doctor was waiting.  He began to tell me about down syndrome and why he suspected Preston had the extra chromosome.  He suggested we should consider putting Preston in an institution.  He asked me if I wanted him to talk to my wife.  There was absolutely no way I was going to have him deliver such a message after he had done such a horrible job with me.

As I shared the news with Shouna around 11:30 or 12 we both cried a little and neither of us would consider giving our son to be taken care of by the state.  I am blessed that my wife has a positive attitude and relies on her assurance that God is in charge.  We prayed together and talked for a long time.  I have no idea when we rested but the next morning we started the task of calling our family and friends and telling them the news.  This is probably one of the situations I learned the most from.

As we called most were politely apologetic if for no other reason than they just did not know what to say.  One person expressed that "if we prayed hard enough Preston would not have DS".  I wish I could say I had a great Biblical or Christian response but I just said to Shouna, "that is the stupidest remark I have heard".  One of the common remarks was "God gives special children to special parents".  Again I declared "BS".  Don't get the wrong idea here, we felt confident we were blessed.  We just did not know the answers to a lot of questions.   What did we / I learn?

• saying something, even if it was stupid or clumsy, was better than nothing from our friends
• a baby is a blessing even if "normal", whatever that is, is not to be found
• start by looking for what good is to come rather than dwelling on the negative

One last thing to end this story.  One of the biggest blessings I have ever received and one of the biggest learning opportunities happened that day by around noon.  During my calls I called Larry Lippel in Oklahoma City who was a dear friend and co-worker and asked him to share the news with friends at the office, FDMC/First Data Management which also was known as SCS which was the ATM network in Oklahoma.  He did not say much but as I was walking down the hall in the hospital about 2.5 hours after talking to Larry he stepped off the elevator and walked toward me.  I think he was speeding, of course.  Even today I choke up thinking about that act of kindness.  Larry was about 6 ft. 6 in. tall and he walked up to me and put his arms around me and squeezed like crazy.  I felt like a pimple ready to pop.  It was a long hug and we both cried.  His first words were he wanted to see our baby and see Shouna.  We went straight to see the babies and I proudly pointed out my new son.  We walked down to see Shouna and he hugged her.  Larry was a strong believer in Jesus but had dropped out of church and that day he promised he was going to get back to his relationship with Christ.  Honestly I don't remember another thing he said or did.  He did not stay long and then drove back to OKC. 

• I learned that being there is more important than anything
• sacrificial giving of time and a big hug says more than 10,000 words
• that day was the beginning of a testimony from Preston about a life with Christ, Preston had already made a positive impact in Larry's life and ours

I am shutting down for the night but hopefully as I write these stories they can be of benefit to others and record my life for you and my family.

So, what do you learn in the Osage?

• everyone can make a positive impact on someone's life, be an ADDER not a SUBTRACTOR
• life is full of surprises, make the best of them
• when life throws you a curve, adjust and get a hit and most of all keep your eye on the ball

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Mike Moser

I know many of you remember the Moser family of which Nancy plus an older sister and then Mike were their 3 children.  I am asking for your help in a few things for some very good reasons.

I want to collect some stories of Mike for his son Nathan.  Mike went to college at Weatherford for one or two years before going to ophthalmology school in Houston at the same time I was there.  I should make a correction just in case you made a mistake.  I went to Weatherford not Houston as I was not so smart like Mike.  After school he married and located to Louisiana where he had a family and I believe it was one or two children.  Mike was later killed in an auto accident when his son was 9 years old.  Nathan is now interested in finding more about his dad so I am going to share a few stories and I want you to fill in some holes.

At Southwestern State College (later to become Southwestern Oklahoma State University SWOSU)Mike set the curve in every class I was in and I think he always thought it was easy.  He always had a dry sense of humor and few words to say but he would laugh a lot when he got tickled.  I had the pleasure of getting to know Mike while there and visited his home.  His dad and mom moved to Weatherford when he was starting his junior year in high school.  Mike's dad made or ground glass lens for eye doctors in those days after work as a second income.  I think it was Phillips Petroleum during the day.  It was really cool to watch.  He had a special room that was very small where he made the lenses. 

The other thing I remember about Mike was he was very close to Harold Codding and I think Mike Benton.  Mike grew up in the Webb City Methodist Church and was an avid baseball player.  As I recall he was a side arm pitcher that no one could hit off very easily.  He was also a talented basketball player with great shooting and dribbling ability. 

Most of all I remember Mike as a quiet leader who was humble but incredibly smart.  Julian Codding shared a story with me:

Mike was such a smart guy.  He & Harold were always best pals.  I sat next to mike in several classes.  He laughed a lot.  He was funny & he liked fun.  Great guy!  Great guy!!!  He was there when our math teacher, your Aunt Gladys walked up to me reading a library book in class (as I did everywhere ) stuck her hand out like a salute (with that ram rod posture she had form being a WAC drill Sargent and took the book, staring into my eyes and said "Mr. Codding! That will never happen again!"  She was right, it never happened again. Mike was almost bent over in his chair biting his tongue to keep from laughing.  He was brilliant at every subject!

If you can help me it would be a tribute to Mike and most of all helpful to Nathan a United States Marine whom we should be thankful for because he is serving you and me and our families.

Thanks for listening.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• to be a leader does not mean you have to yell or demand
• a quite and humble spirit have long lasting meaning
• be thankful for those who served else we might be speaking German or Japanese today.

Thanks again,

gary@thepioneerman.com

It has been too long

I apologize that it has been so long since I wrote to my friends and family.  I truly enjoy knowing that so many of you read this stuff, even Mrs. Helen Head who I deeply admire.  I hope this finds her well.  Recently Alidane McConaghy passed and I found myself considering that life is just a fleeting moment.  Mom and Dad so loved Carl and Alidane.  We will miss them.

So here we go:

I sit here listening to those old time hymns we use to sing in the Grainola Methodist Church and they remind me of a solid family life in the Osage.  Just think back to when you use to sit in church even when you did not want to sit there.  STOP and THINK.  Why was it such a great feeling thinking back about those days?  I believe it is because I heard something then that never left me, "Oh what a friend we have in Jesus".  I admit I went a lot of directions but there was always that PIVOT POINT in my life that I never got so far away from that I could not see it.  That PIVOT POINT was the old cross or was it the old bell that hung outside or was it just the idea that Jesus loved me even when I was out there taring things up with Eddie Harris and Jon Tanny Olsen and Hugh Allen Jones and Jimmy Heath or was it later when I became friends with AJ and Dave Jacques or was it Johnny Payne, David Howell and the list goes on and on.  If you would like your names added to this send me an email with a short story of what we did.  Anyway, life was really good in the Osage and Grainola and especially good old Shidler. 

Of course we all get nostalgic, but what really mattered is the question.  I think it was the values that our parents had about God and country and the time we gave to each other in our families and friends.  If I was ever prejudice against anyone I don't know who it was or is today.  It might be against someone who offended me intentionally or it might be a democrat (just kidding) but it was not a person of color or even sexual orientation (hope it was ok to say that).  I don't agree with everyone or probably anyone 100% but I am not the judge.  I learned that in the Osage from people like my Mom, Vea Harris, Gladys Snyder and Mrs. Shumate and others.  One of the things I find today which actually is a reflection of myself up until I was about 30 years old is that I could quote the Bible and what it said without even reading it.  Even after I accepted Christ's free gift I could quote the Bible without reading it.  I guess that is like writing a book report for Mrs. Head without actually reading the entire book.  I would never have done that!  Somewhere about 22 years old I did start reading and studying the Bible just to find out it said very little of the things I thought I knew.  Do you know anyone like me?  or that was like me back then?

Well I have to tell you that today I find great joy in knowing more of what it says and I absolutely do not recall everything I have read accurately but the one thing I do know is, "God loves everyone" and it is up to me to decide to accept what He says in His book as truth.  By the way we can argue about Romans and what it says about ELECTION but there is no doubt in my mind God loves everyone and gave us a choice.  I chose to accept His gift.

Well that was fun and I am glad I am back.

So what did I learn in the Osage?

• Don't quote something you never read
• Don't judge a book by its cover, people too
• If you reject something or someone, get to know them first

I just love all of you for reading my STUFF,

gary@thepioneerman.com

p.s. and thanks to Sue as she always lets me know when I mess up in my spelling and grammaticism and occasionally my facts.

Catfish

I suppose not too many folks ever saw the many ponds scattered all over the Osage but one of the most interesting things I loved to see was each year when all the millions of baby catfish would be on top of the water making it look black.  Now I know for the most part those were what we called mud-cats which meant that about half of their body was the giant head and there was very little meat unless you got lucky and caught a good sized one.  Just for clarity, what a person in town and especially a land development expert call a lake is really a pond.

In particular we had a pond straight east of the  house half way up the hill.  That pond never went dry and kept the cattle watered year round but it was also useful for a lot more fun.  Of course we fished there a lot, Larry and me.  I don't know why but Debbie never seemed to like to fish as much.  There was not a single tree around that pond for shade but we would sit there for hours fishing and for the most part CATCHING which is what I liked most.  Luckily Dad and Mom did not mind that Larry and I would take a package of liver out of the freezer and use it for bait.  They just did not like liver so if you were in a hurry to go fishing it was an easy choice.  The bad thing about that liver was it got messy on your hands and was very sticky but the good thing was it was frozen when we started and thawed out nicely as the day wore on.  I suppose we fished there hundreds of times.

The most important thing about that pond is that it watered the cattle but fishing was number two.  Believe it or not we also used it for swimming.  That pond was always muddy looking and when you swam in it your suit was going to get stained brown.  The best part was about one foot below the surface the water was cold compared to the hot air and the top one foot of water was warm and I am going to guess close to body temperature.  During those hot summers in the Osage it was refreshing.  Another thing you might not know and you had to have a little courage or just not know the risk but the bottom of that pond was at least a foot think of silt and mud.  Your feet would feel refreshed in that the mud was very cool but it created a suction when you tried to lift your feet.  We would get in mud fights by grabbing mud from the bottom of the pond and chucking it at each other.  I remember one time the Shumates came out and went  swimming in the pond with us.  Of course we had mud fights until someone got hurt or just screamed so much that Mom shut us down.  Great times.

Now the other incredible thing I liked but also complained about the most was the pond during winter.  You see during the winter we would have to chop ice every day for the cows to drink.  As winter wore on the ice got thicker and the ice that was piled on top of the ice made it worse so you better pay attention to where you put the large chunks of ice when you opened up the water for the cattle.  It was always interesting to watch the cows wade thought the frozen mud and get to the fresh water during the winter.  I never saw a cow get stuck or even seem to be cold from the frozen mud and ice.  In fact you could see ice hanging on their hair all over their backs and it did not seem to bother them.

The part I did like about the frozen pond was playing hockey on the ice.  Larry and I would make hockey sticks shaped like a T upside down.  We would take a chunk of ice for a puck and go after it.  Generally it went pretty well as Larry most often beat me and of course he was four years older so he had an advantage.  But one time we got a little too close to each other and I swung at the puck and hit Larry in the mouth.  He was bleeding like a stuck hog.  Not Good!  But those were great times in the Osage.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• One little muddy pond can offer a plethora of enjoyment
• Sometimes when things seem rough in life you have to look for the cool water below to feel refreshed
• Take your time and enjoy life as you go, make memories with those you love.
• Don't regret what you should have done.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

The most pleasant of times

As a young boy growing up in the Osage I had few cares but a wonderful place to roam and explore.  Larry, my older brother, and I would go fishing behind the house on the creek where there was a big bend in the creek creating a deeper water where we could always catch fish.  There was always a dead tree in the creek which captured many a hook from my fishing pole.  For the most part I always used an old Zebco real and rod but prior to that it was a cane pole purchased at the Otasco Store in Shidler from Mr. Curnutt.  I don't know why but it seemed that I could catch more catfish and Larry could catch more bass in that fishing hole.

The bate was really the difference and we had lots of resources for getting bate.  Here were our choices:  grasshoppers, worms, minnows or liver from the freezer.  We never had a shortage of bate but it was a matter of how much time we wanted to spend on finding and catching the bate.  I particularly liked getting the seine and gathering minnows.  There were all kinds in the net but my favorite was a shiner with red slightly red fins but baby perch were really good as well.

Back to exploring.  If it were not for the need to eat now and then I could spend all day roaming up and down the creek looking for Indian arrowheads or just specialty rocks from the gravel bars along the creek.  In fact sometimes it was just nice laying on the gravel and enjoying the summer breeze and the cool shade from an abundance of giant cotton wood trees along the creek, Beaver Creek of course.  And skipping rocks was a great sport if you have never tried it you must.  The first thing you do is look for the flattest rocks and then you take one in your hand bending down to one side and flicking the wrist and letting the rock go so it would Skip across the water.  The idea is to see how many times it would skip on the water before falling into the creek.   About 9 skips was the most I can remember and that was very unusual.  Larry Wayne and Billy Snyder were pretty good at it and actually I think they cheated me because I was younger.

If you got bored with fishing and I should let you know you never skip rocks while or before fishing as you might scare the fish then it was time to take the 22 rifle out and look for turtles.  Of course you had to be careful but the creek banks were tall so if a bullet skipped off the water it would just to into the dirt across the way.  I was never bored with the creek as it was always full of things that kept my brain busy.  I collected rocks and leaves from the vast variety of trees and shrubs plus looking for all kinds of birds and animals was great fun.  It was easy to find squirrels and I mean the big red ones which are at least two to three times bigger than the city squirrels we see today.  Birds of every kind worked back and forth along the creek including chicken hawks (as we called them), eagles, red birds, blue birds, crows, blackbirds by the millions lingered in giant clouds for literally miles, prairie chickens, sparrows and bazillions of other varieties.  There were also occasional coons or raccoons as city folks call them, coyotes, possums (especially around the barns), skunks and very few deer in those days but lots of quail and a rare pheasant.  We had bobcats and an occasional badger which was scary and mean.  Of course we had cattle which were fun to watch especially the young calves which would romp around their parents and drive them nuts, kind of like I use to drive my mom nuts when I was so active.

As I look back I can see that as I got older and responsibilities started creeping into life God had a really good plan that in my mind city life has messed up for kids.  As a kid my world seemed huge and unending with all kinds of possibilities for my imagination to expand.  No limits, so what happened?   def

I was lucky because I had the best teachers in the world, Mom and Dad plus Debbie and Larry, friends and family plus Mrs. Geneva Snyder, Mrs. Cassleman, Mrs. Shumate, Lewis Morris, Coach Gilbreth, Pablo Alverado, Miss Dozer, Jan Harris (PET - Pregnant English Techer), Aunt Gladys Snyder, Helen Head and the list goes on and on.  What I don't want to do is leave out those that we don't think as much about like Ernie Eaton who owned the dairy but had a great sense of humor and you could watch him work and know life was good, Jim Olsen who was always friendly and good natured or Vea Harris who always fixed you something to eat and had time to visit with you but made sure you towed the line on some mischievous behavior that Eddy and I had on occasion.  Then there was Paul Jones who worked hard and played hard, Bob Scott who was diligent about taking care of the Grainola School or Lizie who cooked for us and loved us at school.  How about Uncle Snyd Snyder and Arnold Jones and the many other men who fought in WWII because it was the right thing to do.  How about the encouragement from people like Aunt Helen Conner or Helen Head (another English teacher) or Wendall Andrews who was the president of the Shidler State Bank who would take the time to talk to you about business even when you are only 9 years old and taking out a loan to buy some sheep.  Many times it was a high school buddy or one of their parents who just encouraged me a little or that bystander that I never knew at a ballgame that said a few words about how hard we worked as a team that made a difference.  Lets don't forget the Kerney Grahams of the world who gave special attention to the development of our spiritual beliefs and values.  You know there were a lot of folks who made a difference.

OK, gentle breezes and waiving wheat, fat cattle in the pasture, hogs snorting around the farm pens and chickens looking for bugs plus the old farm dog laying under the tree waiting for my next move are all part of the farm life that I hold so dear.  It is hard to believe I ever yearned to leave.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• The best of times are the good memories of life
• People everywhere make a difference, just make sure you do your part to make this a better place
• Pay attention to the details, small things count a lot more than the big things

Thanks for your time,

gary@