I shot a beaver on Beaver Creek

Growing up on Beaver Creek was a blessing and a gift.  The tall cotton woods to the giant oaks and gravel beds then running water teaming with fish of all types and yes, some beavers.  I don't believe I ever walked the creek without seeing something God created and on rare occasion I would find an Indian arrowhead or and Indian artifact like the remains of a rock hammer or grinding bowl.  As for the animals, there were lots of raccoons and squirrels and in particular the very large red squirrels which were great for eating.  Countless birds of all types and opossums and skunks and coyotes and an occasional badger but not very many dear or turkey but lots of bobwhite quail.  Another of my favorites was the many types of turtles but that is for another story.

Back to the beavers on Beaver Creek.  About a half mile from the house was Soup's fishing hole as we called it because Soup Wade lived not too far from there before he and Letha moved to Shidler.  As a side note, Dad and I built an addition on Soup and Letha's house in Shidler while I was in the 8th grade.  Every day after school I would go help dad and Soup always bragged on me about how hard I worked.  Anyway, after a few months on the project when we were finished Soup decided to pay me for helping dad.  He paid me $5 and to say the least I was a little disappointed as I probably worked over 50 hours and probably over 100 hours as we worked on Saturdays as well on his house.  I loved Soup and in the end it did not matter cause (that is country for because) I enjoyed being around Soup and he was a special friend.  OK, back to the beaver.  Just past the fishing hole there was a beaver dam which is basically a pile of sticks and tree trunks with the majority under water. The pile sticking up was in the middle of the creek and that is where the beavers slept and hid out.  It was always exciting to me to find where and how the beavers got the material for building their houses.  Whenever you saw tree stumps that were sharpened like a pencil and a pile of wood chips, you knew there were beaver close by.

Well that day I was fishing and carrying a shotgun just in case I wanted to do a little hunting.  Suddenly I saw some movement in the water and about the same time that beaver slapped his tail which is very wide and flat and it made a loud sound warning the other beaver of danger.  He was right, I loaded my gun and was on the hunt.  I always wanted a beaver hat just like Danial Boone and now was the time.  What I can tell you is I never got that beaver hat.  And I can tell you I shot at that beaver around 20 times, each time he would dive under the water and escape my passion.  Either that beaver was one tough beaver and my shotgun was not powerful enough or I was a terrible shot but that beaver did not make it to beaver heaven on my terms.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Beaver hats are in short supply
• Folks that talk too much need to learn to hunt and fish
• There are more rewards for hard work than just money
• Never forget to look for the best in folks just like my friend Soup

Thanks for listening,

gary@thepioneerman.com or golson21@hotmail.com

Go get my book on Amazon and support folks with special needs.  Home on the Range by Gary Olson  ---- all profits go to www.wingsok.org ----- or send a check to me made out to Wings for $25 or more and I will donate the book and give 100% to Wings as a donation from you.  I will also ship it to you free as long as you are in the US.  I have no idea how much it would cost to ship overseas.

The barn that floated out of the ground

One time Bud Frank (dad to Joy who is #6 of the Grainola Grubbers 5 and sometimes 6) asked my dad to help build a pole barn where he could store the hay used during the winter to feed the cattle.  I guess Bud was going to save some money by putting in the poles without Dad's help.  Dad told him how to put in the poles else the barn would float out of the ground.  Bud did not believe that was possible and did not take my Dad's advice.  You see Dad and I built about 20 of these pole barns for folks all over Grainola and Shidler and Foraker.  By the way, did I mention that I now have the Foraker school bell at my house and getting ready to install it in my garden?  OK, back to the barn.  Well, Bud went ahead with the project and Dad helped put the rafters and the roof on top of all those poles.  What you may not know is that water can lift a lot of weight.  Think about it, a battle ship made of heavy steel floats on water.  So if you put a pole barn in a low spot where the water table can get fairly shallow you will get a floating barn.  Sure enough, when the next rain came along Bud's barn floated up about 1 to 2 feet.  Luckily the poles were in the ground about 4 feet but it made for what dad called a cockeyed barn because the barn did not float out entirely level.

Bud was shocked to say the least and dad just chuckled, like always.  And after he chuckled he probably smoked a cigarette, like always.  Now thinking about that let me ask you, "why does the government give soldiers cigarettes and beer then turn around and file a lawsuit against the cigarette companies?"  Shouldn't the government take some of the responsibility for giving soldiers cigarettes?  and beer?  Now that I think about it, should parents who allow their children to smoke cigarettes and drink beer when under age be held liable?  Should parents who tell children not to smoke or drink but do the same in front of their children be held responsible for what happens to them?  Just an interesting question not that I have all the answers.  Now I am not trying to start a fight and I am for sure not perfect but I do like to ask aggravating questions.  Back to the barn.

Now, how do you fix the problem of a floating barn?  I don't know.  I think it is too late.  

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• sometimes you just can't fix things
• advice is not always perfect but we probably should take it into consideration 
• advice should be considered and when experience is involved it should not be ignored
• If you can float a battleship made of steel it is easy to float a barn out of a hole

Thanks for listening,

gary

golson21@hotmail.com

Fart Knocker - who would say something like that?

I know it is a little off color but my dad, Cliff Olson, was kind of ornery to say the least.  On occasion when least expected he would hold up his fist and say, "what is this?".  No matter what my answer was, it was wrong.  But one of the most endearing definitions he had was, "it is a fart knocker".  Upon his answer he would take his fist, turn it over and gently knock on my shoulder or chest and then say, " I am a fart knocker, knocking on farts" while of course tapping on me.  I hope you get the picture.  I don't think I knew of a kinder more loving person than my dad, everyone liked him especially the young guys like me.  He was always friendly and including of those who never got much attention from their dad and mom.

I would write another story about one of his other endearing comments but it is more off color so I will just include it right here.  Dad would hold up his index finger and pronounce, "this is a shit-hook" and then proceed to hook my shirt or place it under my chin indicating I was a piece of shit.  Sure, you can get your underwear in a wad about the off-color nature of my dad's jokes but the only person being hurt is you because you don't get a kind hearted joke.

Well I guess the nut does not fall too far from the tree as I find myself with some ornery type habits and here are a few of my own creations.  First off, I have a tendency to rough house with folks, meaning I will walk up and punch them in the chest, not too hard, or on the shoulder, again, not too hard.  Once I did this to my son-in-law, William Casallas (yes, he is from Columbia and a great soccer player or at least once was), and I punched him in the shoulder.  Bad idea!  He had a shoulder injury and it hurt pretty bad.  Now I don't take fault for this as he should not be playing soccer and getting hurt, his fault.  But again there is Mark Clifford (a dentist in Piedmont and in fact my dentist) who always hides or pulls his arms in close to cover his chest when he sees me.  He knows that I am going to gently hit him in the chest or shoulder every time.  Oh ya, I also have a bad habit of pulling girls ears, gently of course.  Always in fun and always to those folks I like, that is my motto.  Of course I do on occasion use my dad's favorites but only on those I know and like.

I don't know if there is a good point to all of this but it is the truth and as they say, "the truth will set you free".  Now that is a pretty good statement since today is Saturday, the day after Jesus died on the cross and the day before He was raised from the dead and the truth of that story will set you free!

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• a little orneriness is good for the soul
• never leave anyone out on a good liking, give them a punch (softly) or pull their ear (softly)
• on occasion things might back-fire on your intentions, so be prepared for some objection to your silly acts
• Jesus is the answer for bad behavior so invite Him into your life and it will set you free

Hey, thanks for listening,

gary

gary@thepioneerman.com or golson21@hotmail.com

And please buy my book, "Home on the Range by Gary Olson", it is on Amazon and all proceeds go to Wings a community for adults with special needs like down syndrome or autism.

Vicks VapoRub, oh how wonderful!

I was born with allergies and today I still have them.  In fact I spent the first year of my life, according to my mom, mostly in the hospital because they, Dr. Cecil Snyder of Winfield Kansas, could not figure out what was wrong with me.  I just could hardly breath.  In fact Dr. Snyder decided that I should have my tonsils out at the early age of one or there-abouts (that is Osage talk for around that time),  to see if that would help.  To no avail, but they did finally decide that I was allergic to milk, which is a travesty since I grew up on a dairy farm.  I should also note that I was blessed in that we got rid of the dairy cattle by the time I was about 7 or 8 years old.  If you don't understand it is because you never lived on a dairy farm.  The work is never done and you work from before daylight to after dark 7 days a week!  Anyway, back to the allergies and me being sickly.  The doctors and nurses told my folks I would never grow to a very large person because of all my problems.  Did I tell you that in the second grade I was as tall as my teacher, 5 foot 2 inches (Mrs. Casselman )?  They were wrong but they always marveled out how big I got and how fast it occurred.

Now on to Vicks:  I heard a native American last week talk about how his mom would take a glob of Vicks with her finger and put it in his mouth if he ever showed a sore in his mouth or had a cold.   Then she would rub it all over the inside of his mouth.  He read the instructions and told his mom that it was for external use only.   She said, "that is for white men".  I laughed hysterically but I also remember that Vicks was the cure for stuffy nose, allergies, colds and about anything you can think of back in those days.  In fact I loved it because I could breath better.  In fact I would put globs of it below my nose and all over my chest and neck.  Mom used it aggressively as well when she applied it to my body.  It felt a little sticky and greasy but man  it worked.  I really liked pushing a little or a lot of it up my nose.  Awwwwwww, relief!!!!  Great stuff!!!!  I can almost smell it right now!  What a great memory!

Now I will tell you about another great remedy using Udder Balm, but that will be another story.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Vicks is for kids and adults
• Doctors always set the expectations low but God allows us to have hope and high expectations
• Snorting a little Vicks is good for what ails you

Thanks for listening,
gary
golson21@hotmail.com

go to Amazon and buy my book, "Home on the Range by Gary Olson" and the profits will go to Wings, a community for adults with special needs, like Autism and Down Syndrome etc.