How do you know if Connie Arrington told someone about my mom?

Connie Arrington, wife of Gene, mother of Rocky, Stony, and Stephanie broke her arm and was having surgery which brought several of us together in OKC which gave us time to talk about some of the "good old days".  One of the things which I had totally forgot was that my mom had a name that no one ever used except Connie.  Although today when talking to Terry (Stephanie's husband) I realized he was talking about my mom when he was saying Neit (sounds like Neat).  Connie is the only person I remember ever calling mom, Neit.  It is one of those endearing names you use only with a special friend.  Connie and Mom were very close. Can anyone pick out Neit?  This is the Lane family.

Can anyone guess who these Grainola folks are?

Terry surprised me with how much he enjoyed being around Neit and how they use to go over to our old house on the creek and visit with Mom and Dad.  This made me realize just how much I missed when I left Shidler and Grainola.   The great thing about those days was we had time to receive guests who just dropped in or those who called at the last minute.  We stopped everything including TV and talked and many times broke out the deck of cards and played or sometimes dominoes or checkers.  I am afraid that today we are so dawgone (yes that is a word not found in your ordinary dictionary) busy we don't have time to breath, much less visit with folks.  Who is running our lives and what is important?  So here are a few questions to stir things up.

1. is it more important to have your child be involved in several sports or learn to communicate with adults and other children outside of school?  I am just saying!  You be your own judge.
2. Is it important that you children or even spouse watch every football game or play video games or learn to enjoy other folks?
3. Is it more important to cherish old friendships and nurture those along or is it better to stretch our center of influence or the number of contacts in our cell phones?

Well, I am not going to answer your questions but I am going to say that I have never regretted getting in contact with old Shidler or Grainola friends or acquaintances but I have regretted being too busy for those friends.  I can also say I have never regretted spending one minute with my children but I have regretted spending so much time at the office or traveling for work.  I was blessed to have a workaholic dad but I always got to work with him.  I cherish those memories.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• When you are carrying a load down the gravel road it gets heavy but when you are visiting with a friend while you carry that load you forget about the load and cherish the friend.
• It is not what we say to our children but what they watch us do and how they see us treat other folks that builds character in them and ultimately making them wanting to spend time with us as we grow older.
• Honor thy mother and father and treat thy neighbor as ya'll want to be treated

Thanks for listening,
thepioneerman.com

 

Mentoring

If you would  have asked me about mentoring someone in the past I would have said it is not for me.  What I did not know is that I have been mentoring folks my entire life and just did not know it.  Now you are probably assuming (assuming is a bad thing if you know what I mean) that mentoring is always positive but that is just not true.

For example, if you spend your life being critical of folks for what they do or even for what they do not do you are mentoring.  And yes, I am using the word mentoring very liberally and you could use the word influencing but I kind of like mentoring.  More specifically, I have a friend who always introduces me as his mentor for many years.  I felt complimented knowing that he is a very moral and ethical person (those are two very distinct things) and is quit successful by man's measurement.  Ok, let me explain.  He has built a very successful company that is profitable and in man's measurement he is very successful.  I would agree.  However, from a moral and ethical perspective he is successful for many other reasons and NOT because of me mentoring him but a lot of folks who have poured into his life.  Let's review those successes:

• his children live moral lives and are leaders in their college
• his wife is faithful in her spiritual life and her marital life
• he respects and honors his parents
• he treats people with respect and honesty

I could go on and on but let's get back to mentoring.

Yesterday I met with a young fellow starting his own business.  He complimented me by asking for input on how he was building his business.  It was very rewarding to give him a little insight from my perspective on how to think about his business.  If that is mentoring then I really like doing it.  If you have something to share with other folks that can help them improve their life, I call that mentoring.  What fun and so very rewarding.

As I look back I was mentored by a lot of folks and many of those are folks I have written about so let me expound on those influencers or mentors.  Mom and Dad of course were extremely influential but the small things of other folks added a lot to my development and life.  Here I want to suggest you might mentor others by trying some of these small comments given to me while growing up.

• Gladys Snyder - "you are really good at puzzles"
• Helen Head - "you look very sharp"
• Coach Gilbreth -  "you need to move to Shidler and play football for me"
• Mr. Fulsom -  "if I ever need some work done, I want Gary Olson to do it for me"
• Miss Shumate - "thank you for working so hard on fixing my sewer"
• Mrs. Dozer - "thank you for being respectful in my class"

I suggest to you that small doses of simple comments make a BIG difference to people of all ages.  Say good things to others and avoid the negative as much as possible but it can be a good thing to be honest and constructive but overall it is better to put a positive spin on things.

Well, thanks for listening and now, "what do you learn in the Osage?"

• a little compliment can go a long way in someone's life
• heartfelt and caring remarks lift the spirit and the life
• mentoring is an everyday act of kindness

forever yours,
thepoineerman.com
 

What matters most

I would have to say I feel blessed even when I feel betrayed.  Don't you just hate  it when someone you trusted disappoints.  Like always my wife figured it out long before I ever did.  Have you ever listened to someone give you a line of bull_____ on why they were doing something and you knew better?  Sure you have.  You may even have tried it yourself sometime.  It just don't work.  Sorry for the bad English.  One thing I have learned in life is just say it like it is and don't add any bull____ to cover up the mess cause it just becomes a bigger mess once you have stepped in it.  Do you  get it yet?  If you don't get it then go out into a pasture where the cattle roam and find a fresh cow patty and then step in it.  You will then understand.

Earlier this week I listened to someone giving me a list of excuses on why they were doing something and I knew it was a bunch of BS (do I have to explain?).  It really does not matter but I learned a lot about the person which I should have known but I have a tendency to look for all the good in a person and ignoring or at lease giving the benefit of the doubt. 

Another thing that really gets to me is when folks make bad decisions and then blame it on God.   For example:  It is a God thing.  I do believe God is in control but I also believe he gives us a free choice so we can screw up on our own.  God does not make us greedy, selfish, uncaring, rude and insensitive.  Those are choices we make.  We decide how we want to be treated and we treat folks or at least should treat folks how we want to be treated. 

Sometimes you just gotta say it like you think it.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• if it ain't broke, don't fix it
• sometimes we just say stupid stuff and we will regret it for a long time
• sometimes I get lucky and say something really good and then I forget it

thanks for listening,
gary@thepioneerman.com

"a funny thing happened on my way to hell, I got saved saved saved!" 

I just loved that song.