Why men go hunting?

This might get me and a lot of men in trouble but it just might give some information to a woman into why men are like they are.

Have you ever wondered why a man goes and sits in a tree for a week in freezing cold weather?  Sometimes it even rains and freezes ice on the man while sitting in a tree.  Now there are men who just have more sophistication (that really means more money to burn) and sit in one of those nice boxes on top of a tower with a heater and windows to block the cold wind.   There are also those with less sophistication (money) who sit in a 55 gallon metal drum sitting on top of a tripod about 15 feet in the air.  Now I will have to tell you that barrel is cold but it does stop the wind.  The other bad thing is to see you have to stick your head out of the barrel where it is windy and cold.  Of course there is a seat in the barrel so you can at least relax a little but there is NO leg room in there and it is not made for tall or fat folks like ME.

Now there are men who actually hire/pay someone to take them up into the mountains on horseback where it is cold and windy and miserable by most folks standards and hunt deer or elk or if you are more sophisticated (more money) moose.  Now there you have paid more money to be more miserable and more sophisticated. 

Well with all this said let’s examine the why of this sport.

• 1.       Men are not like women – does that resonate with anyone? 
• a.       Men dip, chew and scratch and women don’t like any of it
• b.      Men pass gas (fart), tell off color jokes
• 2.       Believe it or not it is fun and refreshing to be outdoors
• 3.       I personally would rather take the pictures but it is a thrill to hunt and kill just like our ancestors did years ago.  Just to make it clear it is not that I don’t want to shoot the animal but I don’t want to clean it and carry it and I really don’t like to eat it unless you are like Larry Travis or Rich Kanaly or Rich Jefferies who have the meat made into sausage or jerky.

• 4.       Now there is one reason which is the motivation for this article and that is men need to get away from the women.

Let me explain why men need to get away from the women.  First, if you stay home they are going to tell you to do something.  Second, if they don’t tell you to do something they are going to make you feel guilty for not doing something.  Third, if you don’t feel guilty and they are DOING while you are sitting you should feel guilty and therefore you are guilty.  So the number 1 reason for sitting in the cold and freezing weather is to get away from the women.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• 1.       Men like to relax and not get in trouble for it
• 2.       Hunting allows men to do what men do best, sit, spit, tell stories, pass gas etc.
• 3.       Not 100% but women don’t hunt

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Common Sense of the Osage #2

First I have to say this is not political as ALL of them in Washington did this, not just one party.

Recently our wonderful private business orientated congressmen and president, just kidding, had new regulation implemented to protect the citizens of our country from fees being charged for credit cards which were making big banks or somebody rich.  Because of this my bank and probably yours are raising the other fees at the bank.  Now let's think about this from the Osage perspective.

Banks or Visa or MasterCard were charging fees for clearing and processing credit cards and the federal government on behalf of some watchdog entity stepped in to protect the citizens by passing a law to stop those fees or minimize them.  Now think about this, where is there a problem?

• This is America where free enterprise is our trademark on why everyone wants to move here.  If you don't believe me look for the boat or airplane filled with folks leaving and taking everything with them.
• What was the problem?  Some group say the fees were too high and it was probably led by the large retailers who wanted the fees lowered (actually this is a fact as they sued the credit card companies to get them lowered).  Now I don't disagree that there are too few players (monopoly) issuing credit cards and therefore the fees are too high.  But I believe in free enterprise and you can charge what you want as long as you are not a monopoly.  The consumer will stop buying and the government needs to stay out (sorry, that was an opinion).  The problem IS that the credit card companies forced the retailers to not allow the consumer free choice between credit cards and checks and cash.   This is called HIDDEN FEES or NON_DISCLOSURE.
• What does that mean?  If you had a choice between 2% less on any purchase at WalMart (monopoly) by writing a check or paying with cash, would you choose to save the 2%?  This is precisely the problem, NOT ALLOWING THE CONSUMER FREE CHOICE!  But what we got was the government took away the fee income from the banks and now banks are raising their other fees to offset the loses.  Did they think banks were going to not make money?  How stupid?  By the way I did not mean to leave out credit unions which also make money on the credit card fees as well as Visa and MasterCard and Discover as well.

So let me sum this up:

• get the government out of PRICE FIXING, yes the government is causing price fixing - they fixed the price credit card companies can charge for their services
• the government should require full disclosure / no hidden fees - but allow the consumer free choice when making purchases (yes, paying by check or cash is cheaper than credit cards if you have a choice)
• monopoly's have been illegal forever and there are too many now and here is an opinion on some of them:
• WalMart - they get the cheapest rate on credit cards, guess why?  They are a ________!
• Visa - MasterCard - they are almost the only choice save Discover and American Express
• THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT -they make us rely on them for tax credits, tax advantages, giveaway programs, etc.  they are enablers.  Do I need to explain?
• and yes the super rich should probably pay more taxes -but what is super rich?  I contend it is over $10 billion, not $250,000.

Well what do you learn from the Osage?

• Common Sense rules - people don't need protected all the time but they do need to make good choices (full discloser and freedom)
• Free enterprise rules - 
• Outlaw hidden fees, don't price fix
• The more government regulates the more they kill competition, private enterprise, independence, integrity, honesty, morality, self esteem
• Thank God for folks from the Osage who can still think without the governments help

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Driver's Education and Oklahoma History

One of my favorite classes was with Coach Smith not playing basketball or Oklahoma History but driver's education.  First off you did not have to go to class indoors and second everyone I knew who was about to turn 16 already had been driving for years.

Neal feeding while the truck is driving itself

When I was still too young and too short (some folks say I was never short to be explained later) Dad would feed the cattle and I would drive the pickup while he kicked off the hay from the pickup.  If you look at Neal in the picture you see he has an auto feeder and on the back of the pickup and  there are two spikes sticking up for carrying hay.  In the "good old days" we had to have someone in the back opening gunny sacks of cattle cake or cutting string on hay bales and throwing off the hay to the cattle like the one in the picture.

62 Chevy 

Back to driver's ed.  There was not a single farm and ranch kid that did not already drive and for the most part everyone of us already had a vehicle.  Now at my house the rule was that if you wanted a vehicle you paid for it with your money and you paid for the tires and gas.  I will tell you there were some exceptions on the gas but the emphasis was I had to work to get either free gas or the right to buy gas.  In fact one of the great things about farming is there was a fuel tank at every farm so you had your own filling station.  Now the 62 Chevy pictured is not mine but it looks just like the first car I bought from Don Kelsey and mine was red as well.  OK, the fact is I lived 16 miles from school and I played sports so up until I was 15 1/2 I either drove to school or road with my sister Debbie.  What I thought was strange is that my folks insisted I did not drive by myself after 15 1/2 because if I got a ticket I would be delayed in getting my drivers license.

I have always been amazed at how folks from the city think there is nothing to do in the small towns and the country.  What I would say is there is more to do than living in the city.  Think about it, if you live in the city you grow up playing video games, watching TV, mow the yard in some cases and make your bed.  There is definitely a lot more to do in the country.

So what do you learn in the Osage?

• Driving is a privilege 
• A privilege is something you earn, that means work for
• Nothing is free, everything cost somebody something
• Give your kids money and they will eat today, Teach your kids to work and they will eat for life.

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Gravel Roads

Don, Bill, Mom, Gladys, Lois, Erlene, Peggy (Lane Aunts and Uncles)

When I was young I told my folks over and over how I was not coming back until the roads were paved.  I am not sure what influenced me the most but there were a few things that stuck out.

Of course my folks had to be number one as they taught me to work hard, not waste time, get up early and get started and stick it out in hard times and good.  Dad always said, "it is burning daylight, let's get going".  Mom always made sure we had clothes ready which meant clean, ironed and in the closet plus she always made sure we weren't waiting on getting fed as there were things to do.  They taught me to work when working and not waste time or another person's money.  And you were to earn more than you were paid.

Now if that does not make since it is because people don't teach EARNING anymore but here is a simple version, "when a person pays you to do something EXCEED the expectations".  My folks also taught me to never expect the person I was working for to necessarily be thankful for the job I did or the effort I put in.  I think they figured that if the person did not appreciate how hard I worked that the next time they hired someone they would realize what a great deal they had.  They also taught me that if someone did not appreciate the effort I put in and if I felt bad about what I was paid that next time I should either refuse to take the job or just raise my price or just maybe I did not do as good a job as I should have.  Now if that does not make since to you here is another way to think about it, "if you agreed on a price up front then you had to do what you agreed to do for what you said".  Your word was your honor.

Aunt Gladys, Gladys Snyder, showed me discipline in how she approached whatever she did and she showed me to love learning.  If you never knew Aunt Gladys you missed something special.  Every year she would study a topic like Oklahoma History, botany, horticulture, algebra and higher mathematics, The Bible and many more subjects.  She knew more about everything than anyone I have ever met.  When she retired she never stopped picking a subject every year to study, yes-for a year.  She did not watch TV and she thought calculators and computers were handicapping children from learning.  I know in today's wisdom that seems impossible but how many children today know how to dig in and find things without the internet?  How many know their multiplication tables?  What percentage know the constitution and what it cost to protect?  She felt that somewhere along the way teaching took a wrong turn from knowing history and pride in our country and basics to something with the wrong values.  Most of all she encouraged me to work hard and be disciplined.  She taught by example.

myself, Uncle Bill Heath and Uncle Harley Patterson

Aunt Peggy Heath taught me to laugh at myself and not get too serious and to play games with family and friends.  She made great cinnamon rolls too.  Uncle Bill Heath taught me through example to enjoy learning and that I could work in computers like he did.  I held him in great regard because he worked on computers back when there were massive computers in large air conditioned rooms that today literally fit in the palm of your hand.  Do I need to point out that the computers shrunk not that the hand got bigger?  Now there is some irony in that comment relative to folks today having a hand out expecting something from those who earned it.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• discipline is critical to success in anything
• anything, you can do anything if you put your mind to it
• have fun or change what you are doing
• Strive to inspire greatness in others by doing your best
• the best way to a great life is over GRAVEL ROADS

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

Alligators in Shidler - everyone knows there are no alligators in Shidler

WRONG!

The first time I ever heard of an alligator in Shidler was when I heard the story of a lady who was traveling through Shidler and came to a sudden stop to avoid running over something.  When she stepped out of her car to examine what she thought was an alligator and confirmed the fact she started screaming.  I sure wish I would have seen it.

Gravel roads and a cattle guard

Well what I discovered was that everyone knew about the alligator but me.  Dad took me over to the Divall Gas Station where he got his new tires all the time.  As a side note we were always getting new tires and flats fixed as when Dad was about 40 years old he started to carry the mail in Grainola as a rural mail carrier.  I don't think there was a week that went by that he did not get a flat as almost all of the roads were gravel and thus graded periodically.  And now if you are too citified to know what that means periodically Fred Mow (I don't remember how to spell it) or Cac Harrington (Harvey's dad)  would grade the gravel roads each month to keep them in good shape.  The purpose was to bring the gravel that had worked its way to the sides of the road back into the road to prevent ruts from building up when it rained and folks traveled on the roads.  Now the problem was that when you graded the road you drug any nails or bolts back onto the traveling area and ultimately those nails got in someone's tire or tires.  The worst I remember is Dad said he had over 20 flats one week.  He was really aggrivated and went and purchased new tires.   

OK, back to the alligator and the Divall Gas Station.  As I recall it was Mrs. Divall who took me down to the house and showed me their pet alligator which was at that time in the basement for the winter.  Mr. Divall told me the alligator did not eat too much but on occasion he would feed it 5 lbs. of hamburger meat.  With that I can attest to the fact there was an alligator in Shidler and it lived during spring and summer in a pond close to the Divall house.

But like any fun loving alligator it took a stroll once in a while downtown, shopping I guess.  Mr. and Mrs. Divall were always nice enough to let you come and see their pet during the winter when it basically slept most of the time in their basement.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• everyone has a few alligators in the closet metaphorically speaking
• don't you wish you felt the freedom to let your alligator roam, too many lawyers
• Lawyers, that is why we don't have alligators, or politicians?

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

A Rattle Snake of a time with Kenny Kelsey

Kenny Kelsey 2011 at Shidler

I cannot tell you how much it meant for me to see Kenny at the Shidler High School Reunion.  Kenny was four years older than me but we spent a lot of time together hauling hay and other things which I am going to admit to but not endorse for future generations.  So here goes.

Now I want to start with propane tanks and Boggie.  We use to go over to his house and his dog, Boggie, a bulldog would chase us and we would jump up on the the propane tank.  Boggie would never hurt anyone but he loved to play and quit frankly when it was hot I always like to play on the propane tank because it was cool.  Other times we would just lean up against the cool tank in the shade and Boggie would crawl up next to us and cool off.  Those were great days.

Now one of my favorite stories was the time we were hauling hay and up came a bale of hay on the wagon and a live rattle snake came over the bale and struck at Kenny's hand.  The snake got its fang stuck in Kenny's glove.  Ken proceeded to beat that snake to a pulp.  Now that is not all of the story because Boog Williams loved to bale up snakes for us.  So, Kenny and I think, Glen Jones found a dead rattle snake and put it in a coil on the seat of the tractor where Boog would sit.  Now Boog loved to jump up on the tractor just to show off but that time he flew off faster than a snake can strike.

The last story is  Boog, Kenny and Don (Kenny's dad) thought it would be a good idea to have a few beers by Lake Hulah  near the Mullendore Ranch where we were working.  Well I had never had a beer and Boog enjoyed promoting me to have a few.  After what seemed like about two dozen cans I don't remember a thing but Boog, Kenny and Don did.  Well we were staying in a very small trailer house and Boog and I got to sleep in the same bed.  Boog later regretted his behavior as I upchucked everything I ate and drank that evening on the bed and Boog.  Not a good idea.

What do you learn in the Osage?

• don't sleep with a drunk
• think about the consequences of your action, it might really stink
• Getting even can be a lot of fun and a little snakey

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com

John Murphy and a pepsilyle -- go figure

There are two things you can say about John Murphy, he loves Oklahoma State University and he loves to have a good time.  Now when I tell this story I have to say these stories have been passed around a few times but you will get the idea.

Pepsilyle – I don’t even know if there is such a thing but John had me going one time when he asked me if I was OK.  Have you ever had someone ask you if you are doing alright and give you a look of, "I know something is wrong"?  Well that is what John did to me.  I thought I was doing just fine but he insisted that he had heard I was ill.  I responded and told him, "no, I am fine".  He insisted that he heard I had to go to the hospital and that I had a pepsilyle.  Don't even try to look it up because it does not exist as a word.  He gave me that look of concern and I did admit that I had gone to the doctor.  I had no idea how he even could have known but we did have a party line.  If you don't remember that is where several families share a telephone line.  

Anyway, John insisted it was a pepsilyle.  Then he was kind enough to tell me with a serious face that a pepsilyle is a turd in cross way.  I am sure he was laughing inside as he sucked me into the story.

Now for another story on John.  It was always told that John liked to get salesmen to come by and he would cup his hand to his ear and point indicating that he could not hear.  Then he would proceed to have them write everything down.  The story goes he was having a building built and getting bids when he had a salesman writing down everything for about three hours.  when the salesman was on his way to the car John said in a normal voice, "thanks for coming".  Now I cannot verify all this but John did enjoy on occasion letting folks think he could not hear, ask Jon Tanny Olsen about the time John left him in the bucket of a front end loader for a while.

Now what do you learn in the Osage?

• sometimes I am just not sure
• have a good time and a good joke makes for good memories
• don't take things too seriously
• don't take yourself too serious

Thanks for your time,

gary@thepioneerman.com